Weird Lap Dance Incidents

I have had a dancer say my mustache wasn't trimmed evenly, but she didn't try to fix it right then and there.

I was getting some “extra attention” When the dancer and I noticed a group of two or three men watching us. She stops, goes over to them and tells them if they’re going to watch us they should pay. They all pull out rolls of cash and handed her a few hundred.

@mighty did you get a cut? Male porn star never get a fair share.

I was pretty heavily buzzed and had a blonde girl that I was friendly with at a club I was a regular at sitting on my lap with her legs on the sides of me. We were talking, and my leg started getting a cramp so I moved forward to adjust myself but my alcohol brain was apparently somewhere else. I forgot to hold on to her and so she flung forward and smacked the back her head pretty hard on the table.

I felt horrible and apologized a hundred times to her the next couple times I visited although she just laughed and said it was funny. Still sat on my lap so she couldn’t have been too upset with me, it was very embarassing for me.

Before the lap dance began, I've had the dancer try to sell me a VIP. She mentioned the VIP is totally nude. I tried to be funny and joked, "Do you mean I can get nude, too?" She replied, "No! And I wouldn't even want to see you nude - guy's balls are so ugly." What a buzzkill.

Recently, I was with my favorite dancer in the booth. She had my zipper down, straddling me, and we were having our typical ride. A dancer, who had just started her shift, pulled back the curtain some to poke her head in and say hi to her. I was looking straight at her while my dancer had to twist her head to the side. There was also another dancer with her that was looking in. It was a little bit of a buzz kill, but didn't take long to get things back on track.

Same dancer, same booth, same straddle position, but different visit. When I was about to nut, she had to put her hand over my mouth to quiet me. We still joke about that.

Years ago, I a Cuban dancer in Florida, kept putting her hands around my throat. Each time I reached up and removed them and she would tell me to "relax" and then do it again.

It made me think of Inigo Montoya in Princess Bride: "the word you keep saying, I do not think it means what you think it means"

Libby Ape (or whatever the fuck his name is) takes the prize here. I mean really, I never pictured you as a mostly hairless ape with extraordinarily long nose hairs. But I guess if you’re askin’ the sexy females ‘bout diggin’ for boogers you get those long nose hairs pulled. Good story Libby! ROAR!!!

In a shared lap dance room, I saw a dancer slowly walk her bare feet up this guy's chest until she was massaging his face with her toes and soles. Special request I assume; dude was loving it.

Not sure if this is "weird", but I had a dancer I would see regularly, and we'd typically get right down to business in VIP before the bouncer/attendant brought our drinks in. He'd call out her name and we'd pause, her on my lap and me inside her, while he set down the drinks and we said our polite thank you's as he withdrew. This wasn't some shithole club, and he had to know what we were doing. In fact, it became a bit of a game where my goal was to get her off before the drinks came.

"...nostril hairs" I find if you corn-roll them up in and out the way it works. Over time it can get a tad crowded.

Was in the VIP room and had gone through DATY and BBBJ and just as I was putting the condom on she says "wait, is that latex, I don't like latex". So a bit of a buzzkill since everything came to a halt. Frankly I don't even remember what happened.

had mini me out for a BJ and a dancer invited her friend to come in and marvel at it. the best times are when you are locked in on one girl and she invites her girls to grab it and try it out. its like a wierd sorority at some clubs if the dancers arent competitive

"Years ago, I a Cuban dancer in Florida, kept putting her hands around my throat."

Yes, she was thinking about killing you. But at least you lived.

I had a dancer tell me if I paid her 10 bucks she’d sit on my dick while she scrolled IG. I told her not to try to ROB me but she swore she wasn’t going to treat me that way. Laid on my chest and scrolled for 15-20 minutes. Then we did dances. Smart way to look at her phone and not totally lose the time.

I was visiting Tampa like 20 years ago. My buddy brought me to a strip club I forget the name. He bought me a dance. I told they girl I don't like dances, just talk.
Next night we go to Ybor, I think nightclub was called Empire, walk in, the stripper is in dancing on a platform, she sees me, hopes off, and makes out with me....

Tampa again like 20 years ago, hit Ybor Strip after drinking and doing E in Ybor. I had met Summer on a webmaster cruise months earlier out of FT Lauderdale. I had $100 bill and was waving it during dancer parade, saying Summer, Summer, Another dancer M>>>> grabbed me brought me out back, started blowing me, I tell her I won't blow a load, I'm drunk and on ecstasy. I toss her a second $100, I don't finish, she asks if I have E I said my buddy has it. We walk back into main room, she walks up to my buddy, asks about E, he says I don't have any, she calls him a liar and kisses him on the lips.

[Also posted this in the "what to wear discussion"--but seems a better fit here.]
Was getting a lap dance at the Gold Club in Baltimore, and a dancer asked if she could rip my dress shirt open--like they do in passionate love scenes in the movies. I was drunk and didn't want her to do it, but decided not to say anything thinking that would both avoid spoiling the mood and avoid the rip. But she took my silence as agreement, and ripped my shirt open sending buttons flying everywhere. I was stunned, and it brought an immediate end to my night, since I had just had a shirt ruined and didn't have anything else to wear. Needless to say, she didn't get a tip. Guess this dancer just had an irrational itch for the dramatic she needed to scratch.

I’ve had a couple times where a dancer has puked on me when she was blowing me. To her credit she just wiped her face and got right back after it to finish the job.