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On the Road in 2022

Muddy

USA

Last year I had unique opportunity with my work life where I had some time off that I might not get ever again for long ass time, if ever. I took full advantage and hit road despite these crazy gas prices at the time but fuck it. Really built around checking an MLB stadiums I still haven't hit yet to finish all 30 (I've since completed) which would be St. Louis, Kansas City, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Toronto, Tampa, Miami and the new ballparks in Arlington and Atlanta. No doubt would I try to fit some strip clubs into this equation. I could list all the places I hit last year but it actually might be easier to list all the places I didn't end up in, all over North America. I'll try to keep it brief and just list out the highlights. Met some tusclers out there too. One thing I don't really plan things too much I just have a destination in mind try to drive to it and make fun stuff happen, everything is really shooting from the hip and there is not too much stopping, I'm always moving. No lounging around I'm always actively doing something if I'm awake, I'm very aware of not squandering these rare opportunities where I'm free.


-Real quick when going to Canada and they are asking you questions on what your going to do, DO NOT answer that your gonna forget the hotels just sleep in the car and go on a strip club journey in Canada. DO NOT ANSWER LIKE THAT, DO NOT DO THAT, THIS REQUIRES THE FULL KIT AND KABOODLE WHOLE HOG SEARCH, the K-9 unit all that shit. Strip search. Hands in the air. Next time I'll tell them I'm going to a hockey game and going to eat poutine while rocking a Gordie Howe jersey.


TUSCLers I met up with

-Bigman22 out in OKC. Big black guy former bouncer. Cool as shit dude it was blast hanging out and he got a lot of experience out in the Jersey/Philly clubs too. Watching an almost brawl break, might have to bring him out of retirement.


-Huntsman in Minnesota. Great guy, he made me aware of the massage parlor scene which I was completely clueless about. Really great dude, I always liked him online anyway, even better in person. He gave me a Matt's bar rec which was money for their "juicy lucy" burgers. BTW if you have to go to downtown Minneapolis for some crazy reason, take him with you, he's the John Rambo of mongers.

-Dr. Evil in Atlanta. He is just some badass dude living in the dream down in ATL. Swapping OTC/stripper stories let me tell you something this guy is in this game to win it, going around fucking everything, I wish had some of the great times he had. I'm trying to get to where he is, right now I'm a minor leaguer.


-Met Wallanon prior in Jersey but actually by some crazy chance like one in a billion I found out him and me were in Huntsville at the same time. One of the best wingmen in a strip club you could ask for.


-Nicespice, Crazyjoe and brotherfoghorn out in the Mile High city. Crazyjoe is a funny dude and you don't fuck with crazy. And nicespice we all know her, she is cool as shit in person. Brother foghorn, OH LAWD.


-Samiel and PaulDrake in DFW. These are just my dudes. Samiel is king of the strip club, big time BALLER, who knew? And PaulDrake is not FUCKING AROUND when it comes to his wheels. More on this later but they actually are responsible my greatest strip club thing ever, I am forever grateful for THAT shit.


-I really want to meet everyone on here but sometimes I'm just rushing it's hard to set shit up, everything for me is last minute and I don't know where I'm gonna be or even when because I'm always pushing it time wise. Everything is by the seat of my pants instead of planned down to the T, 6 months out like most folks. And to be honest I'm not always comfortable THE NIGHT OF pming people "hey man drop whatever your doing lets go out get some bruskies motherfucker!" The world does not revolve around me. But know I do want to eventually meet all you fucks out there.


OTC's/ITC's


-I ended back in El Paso with an old favorite (I wrote about her in a previous article called "On The Road: Wandering Out West, Burger King Babes, Piss Bottles, Def Leppard and My Desert Rose(s)") and I bummed that I never hooked up with her! She kind of looks the actress Jessica Dewan but imo even hotter though at one point. Anyway she used to give these awesome dances so it was all good but you still wanna go all the way. The reason for that not going all the way I would find out (as there often is) was a guy in the background that now wasn't there. So she was DTF to the max last summer. Making out with this girl looking down over the lights of Jaurez was pretty cool, and then having sex with this girl I used to damn near day dream about during work a few years ago. It was great to be able to reach back and re write and ending that was waaay better then how I left it as it usually doesn't work out like that at all. But at the end of the day it was time to move on but it was cool to go back to 2018 somehow and cap that off, jot down the epilogue. I recently looked at photos of her on snapchat and boy was moving on good timing, she really blew up, but just know at one point she was one of the all time hotties of the southwest and it was awesome to get it in while I could.


-One chick I know in San Diego, real pretty girl but I guess since I last seen her, she took up smoking big time. It was like having fucking a pack of Marlboro's, She's a nice girl, but I just can't do it again.


-In Detroit, one girl I keep hooking up with every time I'm near Michigan now, she's just so damn pretty I met her a BT's. Brunette, white girl. Real fit body, gorgeous face, spinner ish (which isn't always my thing but in this case I make an exception), around my neck of the woods I would have to pay waaaay more for that kind of girl. I've seen her a few times now.


-At the Landing Strip one chick, who looked like italian supermodel, olive skinned brunette white girl, the supermodel look is not really my thing (I like healthier, bustier, full bodied, not as much long, lanky) BUT this girl was so fucking hot, you just can't say no. She had these white boots on, which I loved. Anyway she said she used to dance but she's moved but on this day she was just dancing because a couple of her friends wanted to try out dancing first time and they were a little shy to go alone so she went with them. It's one of those rare opportunities where you gotta just get it done. She was a yoga instructor in her normal job. Anyway I overpaid for LS standards but I didn't give a shit. When I'm in the booths downstairs she's telling me how she broke up with her boyfriend wants rebound dick and how she was hoping I would fuck the shit out of her and how stunningly handsome I was (It was at this point I was high suspect of a massive amount of drugs involved) in reality she probably had a few drinks but still we start making out and she WANTS this dick. It was real great time. She gave me her number, telling me how she wants to see me again all this stuff. Man I do I love Detroit, it such an awesome place for strip clubbing and it's so obvious how it's the best of the midwest. It's not matter of IF your fucking it's all just about how much. I never thought I would say it, but Detroit (errr or atleast the suburbs) is the stuff of dreams.


-I met this real southern country girl Nash at Cowboys in Lexington. She was a University of Kentucky student. Great, great ass, all time ass. White girl, brunette, she had this cute as hell southern accent with this sexy as hell sort of buck teeth (it doesn't sound sexy but it was, trust me) anyway just my type. I usually have hit a hundred strip clubs before you find this type of girl. Take her and while extras and OTC was not available, I offered big time money but it's one of those things where those guys on here that ask about specific girls and when they are working or what happened to them, I have more sympathy for now. You'll see me one of these days on here with a thread "Nash? Hey anybody seen Nash from Cowboys? Anyone know her schedule? She still working? Hello? Hello?" I think she went on to become a lawyer but the LDK and that ASS was a good memory. If I see her on billboard though I will sue somebody, I don't who yet or for what but I'm suing something.


-The lodge in Dallas is great place to find some top talent. And one blonde chick with huuuuge knockers, looked like a Playmate, let me suck on those jugs like pretty much in an open lap dance area over there. I was mesmerized. Hypnotized. Tranquilizers are not needed on me just give my this girl wonderful boobs to suck on and I will have tunnel vision for as long as I can afford it. I was just sucking this girls tits for like a half hour it just felt so god damn good. 1K to hang out and would not come down. I thought about it but there would be another girl in Dallas would I would convert all resources to. If I ever become a big shot I'm gonna go be a regular at the lodge.


-In DFW I won't say the club but I was with Samiel and Pauldrake and saw the motherload. Just this one busty brunette, All natural. Big tits, big ass, gorgeous face, texas accent, freckles, fucking this girl would be fucking Americana. 10. It's just everything I want, checks all the boxes, sinclair has a saying "sinclair prototype" well this is a Muddy prototype. I HAD TO HAVE IT. Money be damned. Anyway look some girls think I'm funny, some girls not that into it but this girl I was making laugh like crazy on stage. I knew she was at least not repulsed by me. Samiel also gave me a thumbs up, ok sort of like hey this guy is good people thing so that helped too. Anyway get dances, shoot my OTC shot and she was down. This was all daytime BTW (i'm almost always night) but I'm usually ragging on daytime clubbing THIS LITTLE HAPENSTANCE SHUT ME THE FUCK UP FOREVER.

Anyway I've seen this girl 4 fucking times already I can't wait to see her again. I don't even live in DFW. But every time I'm somewhere near I take an all time PL way to embarrassing to even admit the distance detour to make it happen again. She's just such a nice girl, and the sex is the best I've ever had. Pussy that takes my ass off to motherfucking neverland! She LOVES my dick, I could really tell she is such a fan of me fucking her. I love every bit of it, worth every penny this is WHY I make money. This shit right here, this is what it's for. This is why I'm into this hobby. BUT one thing and I tried like hell but she does not want to let me into her personal life. Maybe there is a guy, or something. I asked her out even, I can't not but no. I've tried. Just OTC nothing else. I'm ok with that but I would love for way more but it's all good. Not many strippers I meet I'm doing back flips for (count them on one hand out at this point thousands of stripper encounters) but this is one and I'm glad I made it back out to Texas. FUCK YEAH I was celebrating like I won the world series. So worth it.


END

And in between literally hundreds of strip clubs. I'm usually on my tourist, mickey mouse hat bullshit come daytime and by night...pervert in the strip club. A lot of folks real interested in what was doing with the baseball journey thing and it would open up a whole other interesting conversations. Most people are real friendly, just like me, looking meet cool people from wherever the fuck and just have a good time. Quite a few free drinks even coming away which I appreciated from random people I didn't even know but getting to hang with them and meet them just briefly even was a blast. I just love every bit of America, I love the people in it (eh ok most, most), I love exploring it, adventuring, and even fucking some of it's women. Why do I always hit the road? IDK. Maybe it's just to get out of the house. Maybe it's because I'm looking for some Nirvana that doesn't exist. Or maybe I'm just trying to rule the strip club world. https://youtu.be/aGCdLKXNF3w?t=34

*dons white suit and sunglasses*

*looks down at monthly credit card statement, has heart attack and dies*