Is it the sex or the social thing?

19 comments

• ralphyboy

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  16 years ago

  This is a good question-for me the definition of an addiction is a compulsion to engage in an activity even (especially) in the absence of any particular desire to do so. In other words, it's a compulsion, plain and simple, even when you don't particularly feel like doing it. It's all subliminal brain chemistry, conditioned behavior and habit operating autonomously even in the absence of any particular desire to engage in the activity. The dick is not horny, the body is not willing, the weather sucks and the drive is too far,the finances aren't what they should be, got a cold and feel like s**t-no matter- I've driven an hour to a place and then sat outside in the lot w/o the slightest desire to go in, and asked myself 'what the hell am I doing here?' Definition of an addiction.
• kansasgent

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  16 years ago

  I too have driven too far, when the weather was too bad, and the wallet was too lean. Reason: there are not that many opportunities to participate in the SC hobby and when the opportunity presents itself, one must take advantage. The first thing that compells me to make those long drives is the possibility of sexual stimulation. But I want it to be with someone who is very attractive and fun to be with.
• godfatherstill

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  16 years ago

  I have also sat in SC parking lots wondering what the hell am I am doing there with so much to lose and not much to gain but once in the club I remember why I came. IMO clubbing is much like a cocaine addiction, you enjoy it while you are doing it and you can't ever get enough but the next morning you look in your empty wallet and wonder if it was worth it. For me it might just be the thrill of doing something risky, doing something out of the norm of my mundane life. ralphyboy - Interesting take above, I took a few minutes to read a dozen or so if your past reviews. I enjoyed the dry humor in your brief but well written reviews....please keep them cuming. kansasagent - Like you said, for some of us the opportunities can be limited. I am going to be in NE Kansas for a few days in a couple of weeks and would like to hit the best clubs in the KC and Lawrence area. Please send me a PM if you have any suggestions. Thanks!
• SuperDude

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  16 years ago

  Lonliness is a factor.
• MisterGuy

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  16 years ago

  Sounds like a problem ralphy. I think I've got a handle on mine...I'm not driving thru blinding snowstorms, going when I'm sick, or draining my bank accounts needlessly.
• Book Guy

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  16 years ago

  The whole "what the heck am I doing here" thing comes up in my life sometimes, too. Often it isn't just "loneliness" that drives me to strip clubs, but it is lack of connection. I have all sorts of mildly social occasions ... WITH FUGGIN' FAT UGLY IDIOTS ... all day long. So it's not that I don't have social connections outside of strip clubs. Then again, the sexual "outlet" is good, too. Sometimes that's all I'm desperate for. It's a self-feeding cycle, really ...
• ralphyboy

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  16 years ago

  I'm not either-because I'm aware of my tendencies and fight them. Consciousness of your 'addiction' begins with the recognition of its seeds, and of that thin line when control(of your chosen activity) passes from you to IT. A small taste of enslavement (ie of doing things w/o even desiring to do them) foreshadows the bigger picture and worse consequences down the road. Hyperbole is a literary device to illuminate a point-not to be taken literally.
• lopaw

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  16 years ago

  I won't sugarcoat my primary reason for going - purely sexual. I want a hot young woman wiggling on my lap and wordlessly promising me things that she may or may not deliver. I don't care all that much if she even speaks. My latest fave dancer is deaf. Works out perfect. She speaks solely with body gestures. Heaven! I have done the parking lot self-realization more times than I'd care to admit. I keep telling myself that one day I'll get bored of the whole thing and quit. One day.
• DandyDan

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  16 years ago

  I've always believed mine to be a social thing. I could possibly hang out with people from work, but a lot of them are married and/or miserable and a lot of them can be depressing to hang out with away from work. I have also gone hours away from home just to go to strip clubs and wonder why the hell I do it. Then again, I may be slightly different from the rest of you, as I tend to drive aimlessly if I'm thinking about it. I've driven to the small town my favorite club is in, an hour from home, only to turn back at the last possible minute. However, once I'm in the parking lot, I'm as good as in the club.
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  Maybe I am the odd ball. For me it is both. Every month I drive 240 miles to my favorite club. I don't sit in the parking lot wondering why I am there. I know why. Sex and socializing. Almost all of the time I run into one of my strip club buddies there. For added fun.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  I certainly would rather be with dancers or escorts who are pleasant and intelligent, and because I am pretty good at making conversation, I gravitate naturally to the girls who are chatty and fun. But I would be kidding myself if I said that I why I hobby. I have more than enough social outlets in my life, and I can find engaging activities with friends and colleagues in a variety of settings. I do this for the sex. This is not a situation where hobbying is a substitute for a good marriage. I think I have a good marriage. It's not that I do not get sex, or do not get good sex, at home. I do. I'd say my wife and I fuck 3 to 5 times a week, and it is usually pretty good. This morning we did the trifecta, and after I pulled out of her ass I came in her mouth. I have known only a handful of adult service providers who will do some of the things my wife will gladly do. So I suppose that will make me a shit in the minds of many of you, but the simple fact is that I like variety. I have a strong sex drive (people in my profession tend to have an abundance of testosterone), and I just like the variety of having sex with a number of different women. I've talked with other guys who sleep around and they express the same view -- they just crave sexual variety. If I see an attractive woman I just naturally (even if subconsciously) think about what it would be like to have her. (My occasional work trips to NYC are very distracting for this reason.) My wife jokes about how low my standards are, but it's true. I just love women, and find most of them sexually attractive, as long as they are not fat, extremely old or genuinely ugly. I am a person with large appetites, and that's one of them. Is it an addiction? I think so, but it's an addiction I have had my whole life, and it has not prevented me from getting an education, having a career and raising a family. As addictions go, it's a pretty healthy one (not like drugs or alcohol), and as long as you are careful nothing untoward happens. It can be expensive, but no more so than a lot of other hobbies some guys pursue. And while this will again make some of you think I am amoral, I am not the least bit conflicted about it. I never sit there in the parking lot, I just walk on in, looking to score. When I am done I happily head on my way. I got over feeling guilty or weird about this a long, long time ago. Nor does it bother me to pay. It's a simple fact, women have a much lower (and much different) sex drive than men, so you will have to pay if you want to have casual sex with lots of different women. Sorry to sound so matter-of-fact. But it doesn't bother me; it's part of who I am. One sad day my poor dick will fail me. Then I will have a lot of fond memories, and of course loads of extra time on my hands. Maybe I'll take up sailing.
• alexsa

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  16 years ago

  It's definately both social and sex. I'm not lonely but do miss the flirting part of dating. I'm too am totally addicted in that I feel driven to go when the few oppurtunities arise (that are above suspicion). I'm married to someone who I think is as perfect for me as I could get, but I wish she liked watching porn and going to strip clubs and was Ok with me doing the same. On the other hand the forbidden nature of going to a club is part of the appeal so maybe I should be careful what I wish for. What I am sure of is that the "denial" nature of a strip club is an essential part of the appeal. Always wanting more of the girl than I can have is the buzz. Knowing that some of you lucky b*****ds have had encounters OTC only enhances that buzz by giving me a glimmer of hope. (And encoraging me to empty my wallet)But if it became commonplace to have sex available at SC's it just wouldn't work as it didn't for me in PR at just such a place.
• chitownlawyer

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  16 years ago

  Clearly, sex. I make that determination by asking myself, "Self, if you could only look at and talk to dancers, and were absolutely forbidden from any physical contact with them, would you ever darken the door of a strip club, so you could pay a cover, and inflated drink prices?" To which I answer: "Are you out of you fucking mind?" When I am out of town on business, my typical evening is to spend time at the nearest, highest-TUSCL-rated strip club. If no physical contact with dancers was permitted, and I found myself stranded in a city on business, my off-hours activities would be, in this order: Spend 20 minutes watching SpanksterVision in my hotel room; Spend the rest of the evening browsing the "World History" section of the nearest Borders and/or Barnes & Noble.
• harrydave

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  16 years ago

  It's both for me. If I go to a club and there is no socializing, I would not rate it above a 7. If I go to a club and the socializing is great but the sexual stimulation is lame, it can't rate more than a 5. Most of my WTF am I doing here converstaions with myself take place in hotel rooms. By the time I'm in the club parking lot, I'm going in. Otherwise, a good shower and shave will go to waste!
• gk

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  16 years ago

  Good topic. For me it's both sexual and social. I've been in this hobby for some 25 years and can't stop. After leaving my corporate job and setting up a home-based business, I find myself missing the comaraderie of a bigger office. I've found that my strip club visits can now fill that void. Sometimes after a morning in the home office I just have to get out to one of my local SCs (sometimes several times a week). And sometimes I've found myself sitting at the bar or at a table on certain days when I wasn't in a good mood and therefore not the best of company--and asked myhself why did I come in today (even apologizing sometinmes to my ATSs). But I know, it's habit and hope that the social surroundings can bump me up to a better nood. Having said that, I have to acknowlegbe that I am also hooked on the sexual aspect as well. If I want eye candy, I can buy a magazine. I know where to go for what I want. Having said all this, I have a life, I have a wife, I just like variety like someone said above, and love to be around women who treat you well and know how to deliver.
• ShotDisc

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  16 years ago

  I just like seeing naked boobs. don't get too much of that at the Mall.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Of course it's the sex. Strippers (w a few v rare exceptions) are a bunch of degenerates.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  Bobbyl Degenerate lover! LOL
• MisterGuy

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  16 years ago

  Bobbyl, the National Organization for Women just called for you. They want you to come on over, club them all over the head, and then drag them all away by their hair. Can you be there by 9 AM?