Ups/Downs For Seeing The Same Dancer?

Brahma2k
Excellence Always Costs Money (Tampa)
A dancer’s looks and chat are +++ level for you. So you make a point to go that GC (or SC) once a month to see her, to get some private room time. General expectations are for the same, higher or lower SS even as a repeat?

Worst case: You are forever the TL, nothing changes that. You may even come across as a RIL (the worst of the TL as I read the glossary), she may even go ROB on you because she knows she’s got you?
Or
Best case: she has a returning customer, wants that certain repeat business, will lower the SS an bit and deliver extras?

23 comments

Latest

Madlibs12
2 years ago
It’s all in your presentation, but in my experience this all depends on the girl. If she offers extras, then she’s approaching her “job” from more of a business/churn em and burn em standpoint and there’s probably a greater degree of formality and she could care less about how often you come in as long as you bring enough money commensurate to what she’s providing. That’s not to say you won’t experience SS along the way (raising prices if she thinks your satisfaction is contingent solely on her/decline in VIP room quality as time goes on). You have to make sure you have multiple plates spinning or she may start to develop feelings of entitlement. However, as long as there’s a clear understanding from both of you as to what you’re there for, the RIL label really shouldn’t apply as long as you keep it all business (no lovey dovey, I want to date you BS that so many guys impose on these girls).

The RIL tag applies more to guys who continuously see the same dancer over and over again, even when the dancer isn’t offering anything in return and even if said PL is not seeking extras. Contrary to popular belief, these types of dancers tend to secretly look down on and pity guys like this and have will immediately have a proclivity to exploit them both emotionally and monetarily - hence the “RIL” tag.
rickdugan
2 years ago
If I'm deciphering all of that correctly, don't expect her SS to go down or her mileage to go up just because you spend a little money on her once a month. If she even remembers you at all after a solid month has passed, which could go either way with these girls, your repeat spending on her would probably reinforce her belief that what she's doing is working.

Also, how she perceives probably has a lot more to do with how you behave with her than how often you see her, though you're at absolutely no risk of triggering some frequency flag if you're only going once a month. Plenty of guys go to clubs one or more times per week.

She is who she is, her mileage is her mileage and her hustle is her hustle. Beyond that don't overthink it. To the extent that any of that changes, it won't be because of your monthly visit, but more likely due to her own evolution over time. If her looks and great chat are worth enduring high SS and low mileage, then keep seeing her. If not, then find someone else.
docsavage
2 years ago
After much experimentation, I've settled on visiting regulars half the time and seeing new girls the other half. I've also recently decided doing lap dances with the girl who plops down at my table uninvited doesn't lead to good results. I recently started a discussion where I solicited advice on how others politely get that girl to go away.

I don't do otc but strippers are more friendly and affectionate after they become my regulars. I always try to treat others fairly and when regulars realize that they warm up to me. Strippers have so many guys trying to take advantage of them, so anyone who doesn't do that looks good by comparison. I also visit new girls sometimes for a little variety. Also, when visiting a new girl, I sometimes meet someone who I want to turn into a regular.
JamesSD
2 years ago
As a customer you reward dancers who provide good service with loyalty. At mid to low mileage clubs she might give you more than other girls because she knows you aren't LE and she is comfortable with you.

Loyalty should follow good service, it doesn't usually create it. If you keep going to the same girl you expect the same service each time, not improvement.
Dolfan
2 years ago
I'm struggling a bit to understand what you're asking, but in my experience results vary. In my area, at most clubs, a once a month visitor isn't likely to generate much difference in treatment from a stripper unless those visits result in considerable income. A couple dances and the shortest room option available might get her to remember you after a few months and maybe increase your likelihood of coming to you as soon as she's done with her current customer but that's about it.

Bump it up to 2/3 times a month, and things change a bit. Will it completely change a girls sales technique and behavior? No, it won't. Will it often make slight adjustments in your favor, Yes it does. I wouldn't expect a girl who does no extras to start doing it. There are certainly quite a few girls who are selective about doing that sort of thing, and will do them with regulars they like but not with others. But it's not common enough where I'd "expect" it to happen. This is area specific, that sort of thing may be more common in areas where extras aren't as openly available. It does absolutely turn ITC girls into OTC girls, many girls won't see random one-time customers OTC but will be willing to meet up with a guy they've seen a dozen times ITC and hasn't displayed any concerning behavior. That last part is key, if you're super clingy, needy, demanding, have hygiene issues, anything that might give her concern, seeing her regularly will just turn a regular no into a hell motherfucking no. Occasionally, if you're easy money a dancer might take it for granted and slack a bit. But I've never seen a girl who didn't display ROB tenancies suddenly start doing it when I became a regular customer.

That said, I do agree with Rick in principle, to a large extent observed changes in her behavior and level of service are due to her natural progression in the industry more than variances in service as a result of regular patronage. Especially at the frequency of once a month and relatively modest spending on those visits. With greater frequency and spending, the equation changes somewhat but a leopard does not change its spots nor become a housecat.
Brahma2k
2 years ago
Dolfan, to be more precise, I’m asking what the experience is of having an ATF. Does the SS become at least somewhat less because you’re her regular? Or is the experience the high gear SS will never stop or may get higher because she knows she is in your mind?

Obviously experiences will vary and I’m looking to hear the experiences. I mentioned a month but it would be more like every 2 or at most 3 weeks..which may not be enough to even register on her radar as rickdugan pointed out.
twentyfive
2 years ago
^ She became an ATF because she ticked all the boxes over a longer term, if she doesn’t tick all the boxes and you consider her an ATF, than you have a masochistic streak.
Brahma2k
2 years ago
She didn’t just tick the boxes, she complainely filled the boxes in bold….all except lowering the high level SS box. Definitely not masochistic, just having to put in ‘killing my mood a bit’ anti SS effort, at times. So I’m asking if experiences say that SS can be reduced at least some, or it ain’t gonna happen so move onto to something new. Clearer?
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
No. Not really...

But I'll take a loose aim at what might be the topic / question and note that if I get any grief, SS, or bad vibes from a dancer, then I don't get more dances. I certainly don't become a regular.
twentyfive
2 years ago
I don’t know what your frame of reference I wouldn’t consider a dancer that I only know a short time an ATF, she might be a CF, but to get the ATF designation she and I have to have some history. The only dancer I consider to be my ATF has been friends with me for several years.
Dolfan
2 years ago
To try and directly answer the question, yes I find that being a regular customer of a stripper does correlate with at least a modest improvement in service in most regards.

But like others said, you see her regularly because she's your favorite. If you're trying to turn her into your favorite by seeing her regularly, you'll be disappointed. She won't change that much. I've made that mistake before.
shanny72
2 years ago
Over my many years, I had only 1 ATF and she was no extras at all but made me feel like I was her favorite every time. Something about the smart, low volume ones that understand how to play the long game. I probably bought her Mercedes....
Brahma2k
2 years ago
To Dolfan: Understood but no, I'm not trying to turn her into my favorite. What may be an upside down experience in tuscl world, she started right out of gate AAA+. Beautiful and petite, precisely my preference. VIP area, if I was a guy whose booster rocket fired off somewhat easy, there would have been lift off on two occasions. I can't say the precise mileage level because I am not experienced enough (and why I am asking the question) but it was IME getting very good mileage for the rest of the week, know what I mean? And the beginning times also came with only modest and what I thought would be normal SS (she is there because she wants money not my company. I give her a 50, she smiles and says the 100 next to it would be awesome. Normal right?). But the next successive experiences, still great mileage, but saw the SS rise each time. I am not a whale by annnnny stretch but when I go to a GC/SC, I understand proper generosity. As a regular explained to me, how you dress and spreading some generosity around sets the right tone among the roster. She isn't going to miss the payment on the Mercedes because of me.
Tetradon
2 years ago
I've never had an ATF, but a couple CFs who I knew I could have a good time with if I didn't find anyone better. (Both knew I might like them but have eyes for another that day.)
Both have given either discounted service, like discounting the room cost from her usual fee, or better mileage after we got comfortable.
Of course, to get to this point, you have to have a good personality and given me some very good VIPs.
wallanon
2 years ago
Ok I'll ask. What's a TL? Some kind of loser?
Brahma2k
2 years ago
Wallanon, it is my own error. PL is what I meant (I'm still learning the lexicon).
funonthaside
2 years ago
Repeating with the same dancer comes with rewards such as more attention, higher priority, and a comfort level for both of you, but sometimes also comes with a sense of entitlement from dancer to your money, which creates a bit of FOMO if you are exclusive with her.

I have found that it's best to have several girls on rotation, rather than sticking with one.
Brahma2k
2 years ago
Funonthaside: there's been a lot of good advice/experience provided but I think yours may be the winner. At least that was my suspicion, though not a certainty, that there was a sense of "I've got this guy now, I can totally press the SS".
I'm on tap for another SC visit this weekend and going to look toward trying to build a rotation.
ilbbaicnl
2 years ago
I keep it simple. I assume the next dance will be like the last got from her. If it was great, I'll come to see her again as soon as I can. If the last dance was crappy, doesn't matter how great the dances were before that. I'll give it a good long rest with her, then try again. If I still get crap, I give up on her.
gammanu95
2 years ago
Brahma should avoid the TUSCL jargon and acronyms until he understands more what this hobby is about and what it costs (time, emotion, and money). I don't think you seek a CF with a checklist. You look for certain attributes before you even spend a second with a dancer, your desire and intent to spend more time and visits with her is based on chemistry and her interest in you. An ATF is a whole 'nother level. I have not seen my ATF in decades, not since Jaguars in Fat City before Hurricane Katrina, but I still have very fond memories.
Brahma2k
2 years ago
Gammanu: fair enough, you’re not wrong. I’m certain I have more to learn. But to clarify: what I’m Looking for visually ->good chat->good mileage in VIP->enough OTC to make sure she is working if I go. That was the chronology. I don’t think I was as scattered as my initial post may have indicated.

“Time, emotion and money”: point me to any tuscl links that speak best of it. I’m looking to learn!. The one I think I’m most short on is emotion. This is a business transaction, no?
Dolfan
2 years ago
I think SS is another term we're not on the same page about. Directly asking for tips, especially $100+ tips, isn't what I'd consider SS. Perhaps better described as high entitlement level or high hustle factor. It's not always linked, bot often accompanies ROB or Rip off Bitch behaviors, like over counting dances, making explicit agreements and then changing the deal mid-stream, etc. SS or Stripper Shit, is generally the little lies strippers tell as part of their job. You know, "I'm so glad you came in today honey, everyone else in here is so fat/old/ugly/boring/cheap/etc" when what they mean is "hello" or "I'll be right back" when what they mean is "I'm gonna go make a lap and mingle, if no one shows any interest at all, I might come back" or "come to the champagne room to me, its so much more private and personal"

Stripper Shit is par for the course, dealing with it is just part of the deal. A little extra stripper shit generally isn't reason to stop seeing a stripper. And it is something that most strippers spare their regulars from, once the relationship is established it's not really worthwhile for them to keep it up. But, excessive entitlement and high hustle are entirely different. Entitlement tends to only increase with regular patronage of a stripper. And a girl who is a hustler, borderline ROB or full-on ROB will rarely change. It is however not uncommon for ROB's to run longer cons on regulars, with bigger dollar figures at stake.

You can see how the best course of action is basically polar opposites, depending on what you're dealing with. If you're asking if a little stripper shit is likely to decease somewhat if you continue seeing her. My answer is yeah, probably. If you're asking if a entitled ROB is gonna stop acting that way if you keep spending on her, then my answer is no, it's very unlikely. It's much more likely it'll get worse or she'll set you up for a bigger score. Like gamanu said, maybe just stick with spelling shit out. The acronyms and various interpretations of them can lead to confusion and bad advice.
Brahma2k
2 years ago
@Dolfan, yes I’m definitely not up on the full intent of the acronyms. I’m working on it.

I probably made the mistake of reading some excerpts from The Diary Of A Lapdancer. Hey I wanted to be aware. It’s the last times with CF (no longer calling her ATF, I’m learning) she did it right out of the book down to being on her knees looking up at me — at the end of VIP time. These I didn’t see the first times. I don’t have issue with trying to increase her money uptake. This is business. But the last time was getting not too far from nagging. Definitely killed my mood. I actually told her, a bit, but the music was loud.
Lol, thinking on it now, I probably sound like that old guy on TV who pines for the way it was. I’m pining for the way it was the first times. AAA+
The advice I’m taking is start looking for candidates for the rotation.
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