Made a random Tuesday night trip. And got some great mileage from a curvy milf. She was calling my daddy which is normally SS to me but I was turned on by her so it did not bother me this night. After getting a few dances she mentions "You know you can take me out for dinner right, Daddy". Sounded like SS to me but time will tell. Is this a code word for OTC being on the table for her or is she using dinner most likely as a vetting process?
It could be an opening for OTC. It could also be that she just wants you to buy her dinner. So, you ask, "After dinner, can we go someplace and have more fun?" At that point, she'll say 'yes' or 'no', or perhaps ask what sort of fun you want. Then, you tell her. After that comes a conversation about OTC, what you want, what she offers, what it's going to cost, etc.
Or, she just wants a free meal.
The answer to questions like this will almost always be "Politely tell the dancer exactly what you want."
CMI beat me to it. There's no way for us to know. We weren't there and didn't hear how she said it, see her body language or experience her mileage. The person best positioned to speculate on that is you.
I will say though that the best time to figure that out with her would have been in the moment. A response as simple as "Dinner or dessert?" with a smile probably would have elicited more clarity from her. Fortune favors the bold. The best time to strike is when the iron is hot. 😉
Reminds me of the time that Avalons07(TUSCL) suggested that we dress up to go out for dinner. She said "I want to see the tongues wag when I kiss you and call you daddy".
I will play along and answer your question and comment on your discussion.
You wrote, and I quote:
“After getting a few dances she mentions "You know you can take me out for dinner right, Daddy". Sounded like SS to me but time will tell”
Q: Is this a code word for OTC being on the table for her or is she using dinner most likely as a vetting process?
A: Nobody knows; even her, probably, doesn’t know what she really means/wants.
The TUSCL Glossary definition of OTC is:
“Outside The Club - Meeting with a dancer for anything from an after work snack at Denny's to a dinner date to an escort session. Not usually approved of by the club or by many dancers.”
However most people in TUSCL expect/want some kind of sexual contact/relationship. Who doesn’t?
You have to decide, in advance, if you are interested in her for an OTC “relationship”, as a one night stand, “escort”, sugar baby, girlfriend, future mother of your kids, kept woman, 🏆 trophy wife, dinner date, etc etc etc
Since you said she suggested dinner, it is possible she is looking for a long-term/regular “relationship”/arrangement.
In my humble opinion and limited experience, she appears to be interested in YOU for some reason, (your wallet) but consider yourself lucky that she told YOU she is available. It might just be “love (of your wallet) at first sight”...
If you are interested in OTC with her on the long run you can suggest the method/relationship that better works for you for example the P4P method of sugaring or you might want to date her and become a father figure for her children, it is up to you, whatever you decide.
The most important thing is good communication and clear understanding of what you and her are looking for, talking about and agreeing to do.
I usually let the girl know that I value my time and her time and don’t want to waste her or my time.
As always just remember:
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained”
A sexual/romantic/business pursuit often require to “risk” one of two situations:
1. pursuing when interest is not reciprocated (resulting in rejection)
2. failing to pursue when interest is/may be reciprocated (resulting in a missed opportunity).
Let’s be careful out there, and don’t fall in love/lust with a stripper, unless she has a heart of gold.
I agree with the others who said you're better positioned to know, but not so much in agreement with pushing for details right then. For these things I tend to like to play it by ear. If she wants to go to dinner and it's a girl I'd enjoy having dinner with, I'd take her. If it turns into something else, great. I hate trying to get too specific about that sort of thing. While we're at dinner is when I'd make the "wanna go back to my place/hotel for desert" suggestion, assuming the dinner had gone well.
Treat it like any other situation where you met someone with whom there was a connection. Take her to dinner, and see how/whether it progresses. You seem to both have a sense that it's not just a normal dancer/regular interaction, but likely not so advanced that it's a regular dating/romantic situation, either. Avoid getting emotionally attached, even if you need to repeatedly tell/remind yourself that's it's likely not a "normal" situation. There's no sense in getting caught up in emotions with a stripper, particularly since jealousy is a very real thing that nosy people can't handle (even when we are fascinated with the thought of dating a stripper).
Agree on a dinner-date - when you show up to pick her up and she opens the door; then drop your pants and tell her "hope you're in the mood for sausage" - we call that "the direct approach"
I think that you are overthinking this situation; if she told you, and I quote:
“You know you can take me out for dinner right, Daddy”
It says that YOU KNOW that YOU CAN take her out for dinner.
In my humble opinion she expects you to be the man in the relationship and TAKE HER OUT for dinner, and there is always the possibility of “dessert” after dinner if it goes well.
When you see her next time just ask her for example:
Do you have time for dinner Wednesday night?
If she is serious and interested she will say Yes, or will give you an alternative day/option because she might be busy with her family/kids.
The worst that can happen is that she says “NO, I was kidding/not-serious/drunk/etc.
Don’t be afraid of rejection.
Just be careful out there, and remember Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
If she is already calling “Daddy” and “boo”, she sees you, in my humble opinion as a potential sugar daddy and or boyfriend.
Again don’t overthink things, if you want to be “diplomatic” just treat her like a normal date, get to “know her” ask her about her background, her current situation, and plans/dreams about her future. And just listen attentively.
I think she needs some “love” and you can have “dessert” with her like after a “normal” date, and just offer her a few Benjamins for her and her children.
Who knows, you might have to invite the TUSCL’s to your wedding in a few months…
I think a buffet restaurant is not going to be a “romantic atmosphere”, because it is more of a family restaurant.
However, since she suggested it, like I said she might be interested in you as a sugar daddy/boyfriend/father figure for her children, so it might be OK.
Again don’t overthink things, just go with the flow, she might just be interested in stablishing a connection, making sure she is going to be safe, and like you said, she need to see if you are a suitable candidate for being a good sugar daddy/boyfriend/husband candidate.
Just prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best.
From her point of view if it doesn’t work out at least she gets a “free dinner”.
From your point of view if it doesn’t work out, you had a dinner date with a milf…
The bed that could happen is that you both fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
Relax and enjoy the OTC learning experience, remember “practice makes perfect.”
“She was calling my daddy which is normally SS to me but I was turned on by her so it did not bother me this night.”
If she really “turned you on” at the club and she “turns you on” when you see her in milf civilian clothes you should get on a knee and propose to her immediately.
Just kidding; don’t go to the date without knowing exactly what you want.
Are you looking for a “serious relationship” or just a one time hookup? or P4P?
She is a single mother, so don’t waste her time she probably is not into being played with.
So, you really need to know what you really want or else you will end up losing your focus of what your goal is when you meet her and she turns you on and you end up with something you don’t really want.
Ask her about herself, her past, present and future plans, and listen carefully to find out what she would be willing to do.
In my opinion a suggestion about getting to know each other to se if a long term agreement would be possible like sugar baby sugar daddy arrangement would be ideal.
You would start by doing P4P and having GFE type of encounters.
Just don’t get in a situation you can’t afford, and don’t “fall in love”.
We have to tomorrow locked in and she understands that I would like to spend some time with her after dinner.
Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment. I’ve heard of this with escorts but for first time OTC with strippers is this normal practice for you guys?
She asked me how much I am willing to spend, I just put $250 out there since this would be the going rate for a mid level escort.
How comfortable are you guys letting a first time OTC come to your place. Do you usually want to get a hotel for the first meet to feel her out?
I've never had to verify employment with a dancer. Perhaps she also escorts, but who knows.
Some guys always use hotels. Other guys more often take them home. There are some dancers who will host. Some guys will use hotels until trust has been established, and then use their own homes.
It doesn't matter what we're comfortable with. We also can't assess from afar what your comfort with risk might be.
I will continue to play along and answer your questions.
Q: Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment. I’ve heard of this with escorts but for first time OTC with strippers is this normal practice for you guys?
A: Everyone has different rules, I have never had to provide employment verification or shown my Drivers License to a stripper for OTC, because usually we just click and we both feel comfortable, safe.
And yes that type of request is more like the “screening” that some escorts do, some escorts ask for a selfie of you holding your Drivers License, and or a LinkedIn or work website links with your workplace information, for their safety.
Q: How comfortable are you guys letting a first time OTC come to your place. Do you usually want to get a hotel for the first meet to feel her out?
A: I don’t bring OTC strippers to my place, I use the hotel tonight app to get a reasonable priced hotel. Or just walk in to an hotel and get a room, or you can call an hotel to get an room..
You keep overthinking this whole OTC event, and you are making things more complicated than they have to be.
It seems to me that you are subconsciously trying to make it a bad experience, probably because you are not comfortable with the adult industry hobby.
If you want OTC to be a good experience, you need to relax and enjoy the process.
“Never forget that anticipation is an important part of life.
Work's important, family's important, but without excitement, you have nothing.
You're cheating yourself if you refuse to enjoy what's coming.”
~ Nicholas Sparks, Three Weeks With My Brother
Just listen to your gut feeling and be careful, while enjoying the learning process of the OTC experience.
You need to make the milf feel safe, comfortable, happy, because you are the man In this relationship and are there to protect her and provide for her.
Remember:
“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.”
I've never verified my employment with anyone in the sex work game. No stripper has ever asked. That would be the end of the conversation for me.
Like CMI said, I'm one of the guys who brings strippers home regularly. My situation is likely somewhat unique, I understand the risks of bringing strippers home and am comfortable with it. I don't know anything about this girl or your home situation. I wouldn't recommend it if you've got doubts or concerns, and TBH the screening process weirds me out.
===> "Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment. I’ve heard of this with escorts but for first time OTC with strippers is this normal practice for you guys?"
No it is not normal, at least for me. In fact, in all of the OTC adventures I've had, not once has an OTC partner ever asked me to do that. They almost always as what I do for work in the early stages ITC, but that's SOP for these girls so that they can assess a guy's ability to pay them. I've never had to share details about my employment.
Sounds like she's an undercover pro who wanted to screen you.
I would most certainly NOT agree to screening. I would also not take her to my home, or even give her details of where I live until much later in the process.
Ask her is she has verified employment of other guys she has dated (for example, met at a nightclub or other place).
Any relationship has a risk of going downhill and having harsh consequences....even more risk with stripper.
Yea things do seem fishy the further along I go with her. Im not okay with screening this much information. Let alone bringing her to my place. Going to keep fishing for maybe a baby dancer.
Baby dancers will come with their own set of issues, but I would generally agree that as she is younger, she is more moldable, as she may not know the ropes yet. Depending on your age, though, you may not have the tolerance to deal with a young, potentially less mature, girl. Any physical attractiveness may be offset by personality traits that may annoy you.
I believe the issue is not (a) baby stripper vs MILF, but rather (b) "pro / hardened provider" vs someone who is more casual with respect to interactions (moreso like a normal dating relationship)
===> "Going to keep fishing for maybe a baby dancer."
I'm not sure I really understand this. It's not the dancer's time in the business that's the issue, but rather that she is behaving like a pro escort. This behavior lends itself to the conclusion that she has, at some point or another, advertised online and developed screening habits as a means to protect herself.
IME a baby dancer is probably your worst target, at least in the current crop that I'm seeing. They tend to be young, naïve and overall disinclined to do p4p. Many of them disappear quickly once the realities of the business kick in, or just come in on weekend nights for a few extra bucks while working day jobs. I usually like to give them 6 months to season before I deal with them - IME it make a world of difference in their perspectives.
Now with my HUGE basis of experience from a single OTC...
- hosting at your house: no way. I wouldn't want any SW to know where I live or to risk my family/neighbors seeing a hooker turn up and enter my house.
- screening is common but not ubiquitous in Seattle for escorts. One of the ways they do this is via employment verification. I wouldn't do it though. Same principle as above, essentially. I don't want any SW knowing where I work or to risk my work finding out about my hobby. I've never heard of an OTC dancer requesting this, but since she's playing the role of hooker, I guess it's not entirely out of bounds.
Seems like you made the right call, but I'm a noob wrt this aspect of the hobby so maybe an expert would have been able to navigate it.
I've seen very little correlation between race and openness to OTC, at least around here. I've had a number of black girls over for OTC.
As far as specifically targeting a baby dancer, I'd recommend avoiding that if you're not very experienced with OTC. Neither party really having any experience has a high potential lead to undesirable outcomes. You don't have to go with a hardcore pro with a screening routine, there's plenty of middle ground of dancers who've done it before but don't necessarily earn the bulk of their living that way.
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Or, she just wants a free meal.
The answer to questions like this will almost always be "Politely tell the dancer exactly what you want."
I will say though that the best time to figure that out with her would have been in the moment. A response as simple as "Dinner or dessert?" with a smile probably would have elicited more clarity from her. Fortune favors the bold. The best time to strike is when the iron is hot. 😉
I will play along and answer your question and comment on your discussion.
You wrote, and I quote:
“After getting a few dances she mentions "You know you can take me out for dinner right, Daddy". Sounded like SS to me but time will tell”
Q: Is this a code word for OTC being on the table for her or is she using dinner most likely as a vetting process?
A: Nobody knows; even her, probably, doesn’t know what she really means/wants.
The TUSCL Glossary definition of OTC is:
“Outside The Club - Meeting with a dancer for anything from an after work snack at Denny's to a dinner date to an escort session. Not usually approved of by the club or by many dancers.”
However most people in TUSCL expect/want some kind of sexual contact/relationship. Who doesn’t?
You have to decide, in advance, if you are interested in her for an OTC “relationship”, as a one night stand, “escort”, sugar baby, girlfriend, future mother of your kids, kept woman, 🏆 trophy wife, dinner date, etc etc etc
Since you said she suggested dinner, it is possible she is looking for a long-term/regular “relationship”/arrangement.
In my humble opinion and limited experience, she appears to be interested in YOU for some reason, (your wallet) but consider yourself lucky that she told YOU she is available. It might just be “love (of your wallet) at first sight”...
If you are interested in OTC with her on the long run you can suggest the method/relationship that better works for you for example the P4P method of sugaring or you might want to date her and become a father figure for her children, it is up to you, whatever you decide.
The most important thing is good communication and clear understanding of what you and her are looking for, talking about and agreeing to do.
I usually let the girl know that I value my time and her time and don’t want to waste her or my time.
As always just remember:
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained”
A sexual/romantic/business pursuit often require to “risk” one of two situations:
1. pursuing when interest is not reciprocated (resulting in rejection)
2. failing to pursue when interest is/may be reciprocated (resulting in a missed opportunity).
Let’s be careful out there, and don’t fall in love/lust with a stripper, unless she has a heart of gold.
:D
https://youtu.be/d6sbPCIEMyI
I think that you are overthinking this situation; if she told you, and I quote:
“You know you can take me out for dinner right, Daddy”
It says that YOU KNOW that YOU CAN take her out for dinner.
In my humble opinion she expects you to be the man in the relationship and TAKE HER OUT for dinner, and there is always the possibility of “dessert” after dinner if it goes well.
When you see her next time just ask her for example:
Do you have time for dinner Wednesday night?
If she is serious and interested she will say Yes, or will give you an alternative day/option because she might be busy with her family/kids.
The worst that can happen is that she says “NO, I was kidding/not-serious/drunk/etc.
Don’t be afraid of rejection.
Just be careful out there, and remember Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
Let’s see where this goes
If she is already calling “Daddy” and “boo”, she sees you, in my humble opinion as a potential sugar daddy and or boyfriend.
Again don’t overthink things, if you want to be “diplomatic” just treat her like a normal date, get to “know her” ask her about her background, her current situation, and plans/dreams about her future. And just listen attentively.
I think she needs some “love” and you can have “dessert” with her like after a “normal” date, and just offer her a few Benjamins for her and her children.
Who knows, you might have to invite the TUSCL’s to your wedding in a few months…
Don’t worry be happy.
:D
Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
Why not just take her and see where it goes? It's not like it's going to cost you much.
However, since she suggested it, like I said she might be interested in you as a sugar daddy/boyfriend/father figure for her children, so it might be OK.
Again don’t overthink things, just go with the flow, she might just be interested in stablishing a connection, making sure she is going to be safe, and like you said, she need to see if you are a suitable candidate for being a good sugar daddy/boyfriend/husband candidate.
Just prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best.
From her point of view if it doesn’t work out at least she gets a “free dinner”.
From your point of view if it doesn’t work out, you had a dinner date with a milf…
The bed that could happen is that you both fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
Relax and enjoy the OTC learning experience, remember “practice makes perfect.”
:D
How was the dinner/buffet/date?
When is the wedding?
:D
But you shouldn't ask her to name a place. You should suggest a few places and let her choose out of them. Take the lead on a date
Tuesday night sounds good.
You wrote and I quote:
“She was calling my daddy which is normally SS to me but I was turned on by her so it did not bother me this night.”
If she really “turned you on” at the club and she “turns you on” when you see her in milf civilian clothes you should get on a knee and propose to her immediately.
Just kidding; don’t go to the date without knowing exactly what you want.
Are you looking for a “serious relationship” or just a one time hookup? or P4P?
She is a single mother, so don’t waste her time she probably is not into being played with.
So, you really need to know what you really want or else you will end up losing your focus of what your goal is when you meet her and she turns you on and you end up with something you don’t really want.
Ask her about herself, her past, present and future plans, and listen carefully to find out what she would be willing to do.
In my opinion a suggestion about getting to know each other to se if a long term agreement would be possible like sugar baby sugar daddy arrangement would be ideal.
You would start by doing P4P and having GFE type of encounters.
Just don’t get in a situation you can’t afford, and don’t “fall in love”.
Just be careful out there.
And remember Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
We have to tomorrow locked in and she understands that I would like to spend some time with her after dinner.
Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment. I’ve heard of this with escorts but for first time OTC with strippers is this normal practice for you guys?
She asked me how much I am willing to spend, I just put $250 out there since this would be the going rate for a mid level escort.
How comfortable are you guys letting a first time OTC come to your place. Do you usually want to get a hotel for the first meet to feel her out?
Some guys always use hotels. Other guys more often take them home. There are some dancers who will host. Some guys will use hotels until trust has been established, and then use their own homes.
It doesn't matter what we're comfortable with. We also can't assess from afar what your comfort with risk might be.
I will continue to play along and answer your questions.
Q: Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment. I’ve heard of this with escorts but for first time OTC with strippers is this normal practice for you guys?
A: Everyone has different rules, I have never had to provide employment verification or shown my Drivers License to a stripper for OTC, because usually we just click and we both feel comfortable, safe.
And yes that type of request is more like the “screening” that some escorts do, some escorts ask for a selfie of you holding your Drivers License, and or a LinkedIn or work website links with your workplace information, for their safety.
Q: How comfortable are you guys letting a first time OTC come to your place. Do you usually want to get a hotel for the first meet to feel her out?
A: I don’t bring OTC strippers to my place, I use the hotel tonight app to get a reasonable priced hotel. Or just walk in to an hotel and get a room, or you can call an hotel to get an room..
You keep overthinking this whole OTC event, and you are making things more complicated than they have to be.
It seems to me that you are subconsciously trying to make it a bad experience, probably because you are not comfortable with the adult industry hobby.
If you want OTC to be a good experience, you need to relax and enjoy the process.
“Never forget that anticipation is an important part of life.
Work's important, family's important, but without excitement, you have nothing.
You're cheating yourself if you refuse to enjoy what's coming.”
~ Nicholas Sparks, Three Weeks With My Brother
Just listen to your gut feeling and be careful, while enjoying the learning process of the OTC experience.
You need to make the milf feel safe, comfortable, happy, because you are the man In this relationship and are there to protect her and provide for her.
Remember:
“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.”
~ Marilyn Monroe
:D
Like CMI said, I'm one of the guys who brings strippers home regularly. My situation is likely somewhat unique, I understand the risks of bringing strippers home and am comfortable with it. I don't know anything about this girl or your home situation. I wouldn't recommend it if you've got doubts or concerns, and TBH the screening process weirds me out.
No it is not normal, at least for me. In fact, in all of the OTC adventures I've had, not once has an OTC partner ever asked me to do that. They almost always as what I do for work in the early stages ITC, but that's SOP for these girls so that they can assess a guy's ability to pay them. I've never had to share details about my employment.
Sounds like she's an undercover pro who wanted to screen you.
Ask her is she has verified employment of other guys she has dated (for example, met at a nightclub or other place).
Any relationship has a risk of going downhill and having harsh consequences....even more risk with stripper.
I believe the issue is not (a) baby stripper vs MILF, but rather (b) "pro / hardened provider" vs someone who is more casual with respect to interactions (moreso like a normal dating relationship)
I'm not sure I really understand this. It's not the dancer's time in the business that's the issue, but rather that she is behaving like a pro escort. This behavior lends itself to the conclusion that she has, at some point or another, advertised online and developed screening habits as a means to protect herself.
IME a baby dancer is probably your worst target, at least in the current crop that I'm seeing. They tend to be young, naïve and overall disinclined to do p4p. Many of them disappear quickly once the realities of the business kick in, or just come in on weekend nights for a few extra bucks while working day jobs. I usually like to give them 6 months to season before I deal with them - IME it make a world of difference in their perspectives.
Now with my HUGE basis of experience from a single OTC...
- hosting at your house: no way. I wouldn't want any SW to know where I live or to risk my family/neighbors seeing a hooker turn up and enter my house.
- screening is common but not ubiquitous in Seattle for escorts. One of the ways they do this is via employment verification. I wouldn't do it though. Same principle as above, essentially. I don't want any SW knowing where I work or to risk my work finding out about my hobby. I've never heard of an OTC dancer requesting this, but since she's playing the role of hooker, I guess it's not entirely out of bounds.
Seems like you made the right call, but I'm a noob wrt this aspect of the hobby so maybe an expert would have been able to navigate it.
I will continue to play along and comment on your OTC Dinner discussion.
Yesterday you wrote, and I quote:
“We have to tomorrow locked in and she understands that I would like to spend some time with her after dinner.”
Then you mentioned:
“Some things that came up was her wanting me to verify my employment.”
I don’t understand how you said you were locked in for OTC Dinner if you were/are uncomfortable with her screening, asking to verify your employment.
Remember:
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained”
You decide how much time and effort you want to invest and how much risk you take on learning about OTC.
Again in my opinion you are overthinking the whole situation and self sabotaging the process.
Next time invest more time getting to know the girl ITC, and when you both feel you can trust each other, you can make the transition to OTC.
Remember that girls have to “kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince” and YOU have to “slay a few dragons before you get to your princess”
Don’t worry be happy…
:D
As far as specifically targeting a baby dancer, I'd recommend avoiding that if you're not very experienced with OTC. Neither party really having any experience has a high potential lead to undesirable outcomes. You don't have to go with a hardcore pro with a screening routine, there's plenty of middle ground of dancers who've done it before but don't necessarily earn the bulk of their living that way.