SC, strippers and voting

driver01
Florida
So I enter the local library the other day to do my civic duty. Early voting is available in my state. Surprisingly, the line was long. While INSIDE the voting room/area the guy in line behind me asks if I am voting on the Rep or Dem(my state is not an open primary)ballot. I politely ask why he wants to know- mistake. I then get 5 minutes and a flyer on why I should vote for candidate F that has absolutely no chance in hell. The lady behind him overhears and announces to the room that she too is voting for candidate F. Others in line start grumbling aloud that these two should not be "campaigning" inside the polling place as it is illegal and they should be ashamed of themselves, etc. It was annoying and kind of funny at the same time. I vote and they put this "I voted today" sticker on my jacket as I make my exit.

Strip Club time-- I enter familiar territory, nestle up to the bar and am joined shortly thereafter by a dancer I have enjoyed on previous occasions. She sees the sticker on my lapel(I had forgotten about it) and proceeds to tell me all about why she was going to vote for the same candidate F the polling place "lobbyists" were promoting to me earlier that day. Turns out she had never voted before and wasn't familiar with the concept of being registered to vote-lol. She was enthusiastic though in her support of her candidate- said the SC owner was supporting him and she liked the owner so it made sense to her to support candidate F- alrighty then. I mentioned that she was preaching to the wrong guy since my vote had already been cast.

As luck would have it, who walks into the club but the very same guy from the polling place. I'm thinking, what are the odds of this? He approaches the bar and recognizes me. Walks right up and starts in with how liberating the voting experience was, etc, etc. Not wanting to be rude and before he could get on another roll I took the opportunity to introduce voter of candidate F to dancer who is not registered to vote for candidate F. And that was all it took. I was able to slip to the other side of the bar and they didn't even notice-lol. Within 10 minutes, they were off to the VIP and I never saw either one of them again for the remaining 45 minutes I was there.

As I left, it dawned on me that the hottest dancer in the club was in the back with dorkiest guy in the club giving a whole new meaning to the expression that politics makes strange bedfellows--lol. Of course, as with politics, bringing some cash to the table helps:)

7 comments

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FONDL
17 years ago
Funny story, Driver. I don't think I've ever discussed politics in a strip club, nor do I want to. I have talked about religion though, or more accurately spirituality. That's a subjedct that my ATF and I often discuss. We share similar views so nobody's blood pressure ever rises, at least not from the discussion.
Philip A. Stein
17 years ago
Hey Driver, blog that, that's good stuff!
shadowcat
17 years ago
driver, that is an odd chain of events. Thanks for sharing. I have done a limited amount of politicking with my favorite dancers but the consensus is that if Hillary gets the Democratic ticket, all the GOP has to do to win is run PEE WEE Herman.
MisterGuy
17 years ago
In 2004, I went to put my ballot in the electronic ballot counter thingie that sucks your ballot into a bin and automatically counts your vote (I think it's one of those scantron ones). Well, the machine was jammed so it wouldn't go in at all. One the voting place ladies starts yelling, "Just put it in, put it in!!" & I'm like, "I think it's jammed...see?", pointing to the lil LED indicator that sez "jammed". So then there's this big commotion, all these people come over to see what's up, and there's a line forming behind me with voters trying to cast their ballots. Just as I'm thinking to myself, "This is it...it's 2000 all over again...let the fur fly at the polling place!", they fix the jam and everyone throttles back from Defcon One...funny... :)
Book Guy
17 years ago
Did I tell you about my experience with the Florida mailed ballot?

2000, I lived in Florida. Pinellas County ... as far as I know, they didn't count my vote.

By 2004 I'd moved to Mississippi, but I still voted absentee in Florida. I requested my ballot, it came to me about two weeks before the deadline. I filled it out, etc. It had all sorts of fancy arrangements, an envelope within an envelope to be signed, etc. The outer sheaf was a final envelope with nothing but the address of the registrar of voters in Pinellas County, Florida. NOTHING ELSE.

So, I fill it all out, put it in this proper and obvious outer sheaf, affix sufficient postage (at the counter, with a fellow in a USPS uniform weighing it for me), drop it off, away it goes.

Two days later it is IN MY PERSONAL MAILBOX.

Yup.

The USPS looked at it, said to themselves, "Hey, this looks like a voting ballot. We'd better open it up to see whose it is. Oh, it belongs to this dude who lives right here in Mississippi. Well, we'll make sure he gets it!"

They were supposed to (a) read the destination address on the exterior of the envelope, and (b) SEND IT THERE. Duh. Just as they do for every single other item of mail they ever encounter. But because it looked like, "Oh, this is voting, that's fancy," they WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY to screw it up.

Welcome to voting in America.

I took the tattered shreds and Fed Exed them to Florida at my own expense. I'm sure that the problems with the outer envelopes prevented my vote from being counted (though there's NO WAY TO FIND OUT). So, in 2000 they didn't count my vote, and in 2004 they didn't count my vote.
MisterGuy
17 years ago
My uncle was on the absentee vote count board in my home state while I was away at college & voting by absentee. Whenever he would hear my name at the count, he'd say, "That ballot is valid...he's my nephew...". Ah, nepotism... :)
MisterGuy
17 years ago
Did anyone have trouble voting in FL yesterday? I heard there was a some chaos at a few polling places down there with the machines.
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