What’s in a name?

I only need to know if I can CIM with her.

I agree with you. The transactions are what matter. It's fundamentally a business relationship if dancers want to leave it there. But I'd also be lying if I said that my enjoyment of the hobby didn't go way, way up once I allowed myself to be more open to the parts of their experience as entertainers which go beyond services rendered and paid for.

What messes this up for customers is when guys who can see a line and leave it alone have to contend with all the baggage and collateral damage the dudes who can't comprehend boundaries (or choose to ignore them) leave behind. Now when I see a dancer have a weird reaction I'm likely just to drop the whole thing because there's bunches of strippers who won't be a pain in the ass about a simple misunderstanding.

Realistically. I think all a pl is entitled to is the time they pay for. It's companionship and with that she's not obligated to say the truth about anything. And pls lie just as much. It's a momentary fantasy. The club is an escape. The club is just as much an escape for a lot of dancers as it is for customers.

But it can also be a harsh reality. The girl realizes she can't make money. She maybe can't compete with other girls. A younger prettier batch of dancers comes along.

A customer can easily feel empty alone and broke after a night. Or even if satisfied. Home alone saving uo for his next fix.

I think to really enjoy a club. Just stay in the moment and don't think about it. Fake it for what it is. And realize it's gone once you leave the club. Don't chase the dragon.

I met my ATF when she was 19 and knew her until 34. I know we grew up in the same town, in the same project, 25-30 years apart. I know what foods she liked and what she found fun. I don't and never knew anything about her romantic life. Strangely enough I know a lot about her family because we talked about a lot of things family and fun related and nothing romance, or sex related.

I don’t “need” to know anything personal, either; it’s ultimately just a commercial transaction. If they choose to share, I’ll listen & play along to be polite: plus, it can make them happy & more comfortable (& thus more accommodating). When I was first starting out & foolishly fell in PLuppy Love with my first “ATFs” (a term I soon learned was really “CF”), I was more interested. But over time I realized it leads nowhere, and especially nowhere good if they learn my personal info. I’m not looking for a GF in a strip club.

All I need to know about her is what her limits are, what her prices are and when she usually works in case I want to see her again (or want to avoid her) depending on how things go.

The only time I care about her husband/kids/vanilla job or most other aspects of her personal life is if we are going to be meeting up OTC on a regular basis since those things would have to be planned around.

If I am going to develop a longer term business relationship with her and plan to see her more than a few times it is nice to get to know each other. Building a good relationship where you both feel comfortable talking to each other can be nice during these longer term CF type situations.

Same. I don’t need to know real names or details but I won’t stop someone from sharing or sharing some of my own reality if I feel comfortable. I just go with the flow. The times it’s created issues have been misunderstandings on either my or the dancer’s part about where our ‘club relationship’ stood. When I’ve screwed up, it’s mostly been because I encouraged a dancer to seek dances from other dudes because I wasn’t ready. They were pissed and would’ve rather hung with me, at least on those occasions. Just a reminder to not try and do a dancer’s job for her. Most recently it went the other way where dancers wanted more ‘reality’ than I wanted to give. In navigating these situations, I just follow the First Commandment of Life: don’t be a dick.

Whodey ninja’ed me. My ‘Same’ was reacting to RiskA’s post.

I don’t need to know anything about a dancers personal life. I don’t need to know her real name. I respect the transactional nature of the experience.

I think that some customers try to find out so much, and I don’t think that is good for the customer or the dancer.

I love the dancer names they create to sound like high end products - Chanel, Ferrari, Maserati, Remy. They are amusing. Those names don’t make me interested. I usually forget dancer names anyway.

I've had a number of regulars. I don't know why but I like long term relationships. I've lived in the same city 66 years, worked at the same place for 40 years, and still have friends from high school and college. I never travel. You can probably divide people into the categories of those who like the familiar and those who like new experiences and I'm in the first.

I get to know my regulars very well and know all sorts of information about them like the name of their pet dog when they were a child. If you talk to someone over a period of a few years all sorts of subjects will eventually come up. I'm always unhappy when my strip club regulars leave. I accept, though, this isn't a lifetime career.

As I’ve often posted, I’m a variety-guy and when I hit the club I like to get w/ as many dancers as I can that are my type – I more enjoy myself in the club when I’m feeling up a dancer vs sitting around talking about life or whatever – when I’m in the club, my free-time not getting dances I rather be free and available to get dances with a dancer(s) I like, vs feeling locked-down conversing with a dancer and sorta cock-blocked from other dancers I wanna get with. I don’t mind talking for a bit, but it’s not what I go into the club looking for – I’d say most of the time I’m in the club and a dancer is chatting me up, it’s more common for me to want her to stop talking and give me dances (if she’s my type), or for her to just move-on so I can be available to get dances from other girls I wanna get dances from – rarely if ever do I crave for a dancer to just sit w/ me and talk.

Thus my SCing M.O. doesn’t lend itself to getting into personal convos too-often – and I gotta say most of the time that dancers start telling me about their personal lives; I wish I hadn’t gotten into those details – I’m one to avoid drama including hearing about it; but some guys seem to enjoy hearing about the crazy-lives some of these girls live.

I guess for the guys that are into faves and repeating w/ the same girls for months on-end every time they hit the club, I guess it’s more-common to get into non-SC related convos – but for me, strip-clubs have usually been about getting away from “real life” for a couple of hours and I really don’t have any desire to be talking about real-life when I’m in the club; thus I usually keep to plain convo often related to the club or strip-clubbing in general such as what clubs she’s danced at; how long she’s been a dancer; etc.

This is way too much thinking for me. I tend to be a "go with the flow" kinda guy, but my brand of clubbing does lead to a lot of girls sharing personal information with me. How much of it is real? I won't pretend to know for certain, but I suspect that it's a mix.

Like I always say on here, all intel is good intel. When a girl decides to share information about herself with you, whether real or not, almost everything she says tells you something about her and how she thinks.

For me building "relationships" is key to how I enjoy clubs, including my OTC adventures. I never probe or dig for personal details, but when you sit with a girl for a couple of hours - especially when the booze is flowing - it's amazing what some of them will share in the course of a natural conversation.

For you "fake name, rank and serial number" types I have no criticism whatsoever. Every grown gets to decide for himself how he spends his own time and money. But if my club experiences were really as sterile and "fantasy" driven as some describe on here (which they are not), I'd probably club a lot less.

It depends after a while I might be like “Am I still calling this girl Diamond?!?!?” I guess it doesn’t really matter but I know we’re always gonna have that screen door. I’m not saying we’re getting married but there’s just a comfort and openness that I think get lost in the sauce on here where it doesn’t have to be all black and white.

Not knowing a real name doesn't matter. Girls will call each other their stripper names or even ig names. It's dumb though. I'm seeing guys go by ig handles too

I like talking to dancers. Sometimes more on some nights (or with some dancers) than others. But I'll go with the flow and let them set the tone (and boundaries). I have a CF (that is probably at this point an ATF) with whom I sometimes have longer conversations about more serious / personal things. I have a couple of regulars, though, where the chit-chat is very light.

I don't need to know anything. I'm also not entitled to know anything. And the same applies to the dancer.

“Realistically. I think all a pl is entitled to is the time they pay for. It's companionship and with that she's not obligated to say the truth about anything. And pls lie just as much. It's a momentary fantasy. The club is an escape. The club is just as much an escape for a lot of dancers as it is for customers.”

This is just not true at all, this is how a ROB dancer would think and behave but ultimately a lapdance is not companionship, you cant take money from people then sit and talk and say you only paid for companionship. An escort can do that but even with an escort it’s considered a scam ethically even if she’s legally in the clear. Escorting is a legal loophole where people are officially paying for the escorts time, so she’s not obligated to do anything specific in that time besides spend it with you. But strippers aren’t escorts. They can have rules in their lapdances, but the lapdance still has to be performed. They aren’t selling companionship.


I dont give dancers my full name or real number, and I don’t expect them to give me their real information either. It’s the same with escorts. I don’t see why their real name would be needed for anything, unless someone wanted to try to stalk them or look up their social media. But lots of dancers also have instagrams which don’t have their real name and are public.

I assume we all understand that when we say "I know" we actually mean "I have been told" or "I believe" because none of us really "know" anything about the dancers we "know" in the sense we have personal knowledge, other than how they appear. We "know" they are hot because we see them. We know they have a sexy voice because we hear them. We "hope" what they "say" about their health is true, but we don't "know". If I wasn't aware of the fact that I am impervious to all bad things, I would never do what I do, and am truly amazed at what a lot of you do.

"...am truly amazed at what a lot of you do."

Nobody lives forever.

Maybe it means I'm broken somehow, but I don't need to fulfill my (limited) companionship desires and my sexual desires with the same person. Sex workers are generally interesting to me, as their lives are very different from mine. But I'll always pick the wanna dance dancer who makes me extra thirsty, not matter how untalkative she is. I'm willing to listen when my favs want to talk about things that are bothering them. I can only give them a limited amount of money, but I can throw in a sympathetic ear to bend if they are looking for that.

But if my club experiences were really as sterile and "fantasy" driven as some describe on here (which they are not), I'd probably club a lot less.

I agree with this. I like to chat with the dancers and at least ask basic questions to get them to talking. And they will share what they want you to hear because most people like to talk about themselves. I live in a major tourist/artsy town so almost no one you ever see are natives so I usually ask where they are from, how long they've lived here, why did they move here, etc. I'm not the best conversationalist going so it helps me mostly I guess break the ice with them then see where it goes. And I'm fine when the conversation lags and am more than ready for the "so do you want to get some dances?" But that's just me. I've known guys who will be in VIP within 3 minutes of entering the club and I'm sure they enjoy the experience as much as I do. Something for everyone I say.

Count me among those we tends to pick a fave, spend a lot of time with her, and it's pretty natural that we get to know each other past fake name. I don't "need" it, I don't ever ask for what her real name is, etc., but it comes out as we spend time ITC and OTC. Hell, I've had any number of CFs connect me with some of their social media (actual, not "stripper brand" social media), so even skibum's "we can't really be sure" doesn't always apply. Definitely part of the fun.