Barter for lap dances?

What do strippers want?

I read something once about slutty chimpanzees who exchanged sex for food. However, I don't think they usually carry around a lot of cash, so you we shouldn't judge.

2 fer $20: Who knows. They are so flighty.

Well, I have offered and used my computer skills from time to time.

Actually, this happened to me earlier this week. I was getting gas at a gas station located near a club I go to frequently, and near a club that I rarely go to. As I was pumping (gas, that is), a woman who was obviously a dancer asked me how far it was to a certain chain restaurant. She was hungry, had to be at work in a certain amount of time, and wanted a certain dish from that restaurant. Bottom line, she could never make it back and forth to that restaurant in time to get her food, and she did not want to order from the club's menu. So I volunteered to make the half hour trip to get her the food. When I got to the club, I got free cover (I'm not so nice that I would pay for the privilege of bringing her food), and she gave me three lap dances.

Cost of the food was $8.00. In exchange for that I got $100 worth of laps, and $7.00 cover into the club, which included a ticket I used for free admission to the club I had intended to go to. So, I netted $99.00 for 1/2 hour of time. Not what I charge professionally, but I also didn't have to deduct business overhead and taxes.

I had never seen the dancer before, and probably will not go into her club again. It was one of those strange episodes that life sometimes includes.

Hi chitownlawyer,

Sounds like you need to be reporting that "income." Seriously, if you don't pay more that means that I have to pay more! ;) Yes, I think it is an idiotic argument, but plenty of people buy into it.

Sounds like it was an excellent deal for you and a smart move for her. If her "free" samples would good enough, then maybe she could have earned herself a regular.

Chitown: did you know the IRS is considering requiring that employees include in-office coffee as a benefit on their tax returns?

"did you know the IRS is considering requiring that employees include in-office coffee as a benefit on their tax returns?"

Now that sounds about as enforcable as e-mail postage or a tax on LDs!!

I had a friend who is a recently retired plastic surgeon. He told me stories of what he used to get for discounted boob jobs. In fact one of the local strip clubs here used to be affectionately known as the house that @&#^$* built!

Shadowcat - Had you ever thought that this guy that buys lap dances with movie DVDs......... has probably stolen them from stores???

I ain't got nothin' to barter with dancers for dances except money and a good time!

Dancers are always looking for free legal advice. It's a great lead to laps, other dancers and home phone numbers, but be careful about malpractice, lying clients and taking on a case that will become the loss leader of the month.

I trade pics of former presidents and that usually works. It helps if it has some green and white around the edges. I like the way one of my favorites asked me for lap dances the other night. She said "you want to play with me?"

Bones: I am not sure where the original copies come from. I have been led to believe that he downloads them from the internet. I do. My son does.

casualguy: I have one favorite that always announces to others that "We are going to go play with my bobbies" . Another that says "Lets go play with your dick".

Have done a few trades over the years. As a salesman, I have often had samples that were very easy to give away. Some were more valuable than others. Never got full service in return, but had some fun.

Shadowcat, I can't believe that you're giving "Song of the South" to children. Don't you know that's one of the most politically-incorrect movies ever made? Are you trying to corrupt those poor kids? (I saw it in the theater - first time around no less - and look how I turned out.)

I haven't bartered for lap dances, but I have won them.

Last night, this tight, slinky 19yo ebony dancer I'm sitting with (and we've been getting along really well, have that good dancer-customer chemistry going on) says "let's play pool" (meaning literally, not figuratively LOL) so we go to the pool tables, and I jokingly say "so what do I get if I win" and she replies "two free dances". Now, I'm a good player, but there are some pool-shark strippers out there, but it turns out shes a newbie, and I win the first game easily.

"Double or nothing?" she asks, and I agree, and I win again.

And again, surely knowing she's going to lose, and I win again easily, and now am up 8 free dances. She offers to play again, but this time I insist "just for fun" (though I was tempted to go for a free VIP at this point hehe).

Interestingly the dances were even hotter than the ones I'd paid for earlier (and they were plenty hot) - funny how it works out that way.

O.

I used to be a regular at a club where I would always bring in coffee for the girls...it never really got me much of anything beside some good tips from the dancers (yes, I made a small amount of money on the deal). The best way to get free lap dances is to either become "real" friends with a dancer or turn them on sooo much that they lose an accurate dance count...both are kinda hard to do. I never try to talk a dancer down on her prices myself.