The "Condom Conversation"
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Her: Oh, I don't have a condom. Do you have one?
Me: No, I didn't really think ahead.
Her: Well I'm OK with it if you're clean. You are right?
Me: Of course I am. Are you?
Her: I'm clean.
Me: Alrighty then...
Of course this is with a first time girl. After the initial meeetup it never comes up again.
Anyone else have interesting condom conversations?
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Me: here, I have a condom in my wallet
Her: Trojan Magnum, that’s my brand!
Me: uhhhhh…
If it’s OTC, I always have condoms in my car.
If it’s ITC, I know dancers have condoms. If they don’t, I have them in my car.
That old “You’re clean, right?” thing can be too easy to yes my way through. It’s very difficult to say no, when my pants are about to come down, and a sexy half naked girl is in front of me.
Her: Oh, I don't have a condom. Do you have one?
Me: No, I didn't really think ahead.
Her: Well I'm OK with it if you're clean. You are right?
Me: Of course I am. Are you?
Her: I'm clean.
Me: Alrighty then...
Her: I mean everyone has herpes right?
There, I corrected it for you.
Her: Oh, I don't have a condom. Do you have one?
Me: No. and it doesn’t matter. My penile spines will shred it.
Her: Penile spines. What are those?
Me: Trust me, you’ll like ‘em. Do you have a female house cat as a friend you serve?
Her: I have a pet cat.
Me: No. Your pussy cat merely let’s you think she’s your pet. I mean really, you feed her and clean up her shit. Sounds like master and servant to me. I was going to recommend you ask your kitty friend about the profound delight of penile spines, but fuck it. I wanna fuck and I’m a frickin’ lion.
Her: Well okay…
Me: Good. How ‘bout I fuck your ass?
Works every time. Unless she’s keeps a frickin’ snake or bird as a friend at home. Those chicks are weirdos. ROAR!!!
Cash, I'd think twice about keeping condoms in your car. I don't know where you live, but in most places it gets pretty hot in there and unless you're going through them pretty frequently the odds of them failing go way up after they've been heated up a few times.
I had a roommate years ago, whose mother bought him condoms, so that he would never be without them (when the need arose). It was smart, as she knew young guys would stick it in anywhere - when given the opportunity. We would joke about his stock of condoms, but he was always prepared.
As an adult, a older adult, it’s a different type of uncomfortable situation when I buy condoms. But, it’s best to deal with the uncomfortable situation and purchase decent condoms. I keep a decent supply in my house, so I always can grab a few when I’m heading to an OTC date, or a strip club.
I doubt you've been with a woman, period.
Everyone else, ask if this is what we want on the board
https://www.stripclublist.com/world/Nort…
As @Muddy mentioned, just as scary as an STD is becoming a stripper’s babydaddy – I have no reason not to be snipped since I’m middle-age by now but have been too procrastinate about it.
SJG
Me: we didn’t use one last time
Her: ok then no problem
Me: not with me either. Can I unload in you
Her: sure
The rest is history
Me: do you have a condom?
Her: No, but we can get one.
Me: no need. I got a magnum in my pocket.
Her: shit this going to be a long night.
Do you think many strippers want baby daddies or want kids from clients? The hottest strippers i have met seem very clean and careful.