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Need a vax card but don’t want the vax? Phil is here to help!

DoctorPhil.
Space geneious and inventer of the grunges
Saturday, December 4, 2021 2:28 AM
You can use a little known Phil Phact(tm) to get the vax card without having the icky vax curdling your precious bodily fluids. What you do is this: 1) Get the vax. This will get you the card. Now you need to purge your body of the vax. 2) Prepare Phil’s Phabulous Phluid. If you use this fluid it will remove any magnetic microchips or genetically modified mRNA from your system. What is this phabulous phluid? Simply purée 3-4 habaneros with some horseradish and mix with vinegar and mustard. 3) Use the phabulous phluid as an enema. If it stings it means it is destroying the Bill Gates tracking chips, so just keep using the phluid ‘til it stops stinging. You can substitute scotch bonnets for the habaneros. Ideally you would use Dijon mustard, but yellow mustard is fine in a pinch. Avoid rice vinegar. You’re welcome.

12 comments

  • Tetradon
    •
    3 years ago
    LOL! One of your best, Phil.
  • BBBC
    •
    3 years ago
    i will give you an enima with my special fluids drphil 😉
  • RandomMember
    •
    3 years ago
    Borax works,too -- and it'll whiten your shirts.
  • grand1511
    •
    3 years ago
    Has Antonio Brown used your services?
  • jackslash
    •
    3 years ago
    You can just use good old fashioned bleach.
  • loper
    •
    3 years ago
    Nice Dr. Strangelove reference
  • shadowcat
    •
    3 years ago
    Or you could use a fake arm. [view link]
  • gSteph
    •
    3 years ago
    ^ yeah, I read about that, nurse should've given his somewhere special. 😬
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    3 years ago
    People in the UK have asked to be devaccinated. The death rate is higher for those vaccinated, and even though they have the highest vaccination rate, they have a huge number of new cases. SJG
  • DoctorPhil.
    •
    3 years ago
    ^ And that’s why... Hol up hol up... I’m just going to drop this one. Yanking Mr. San Jose’s chain for a reaction is pointless. Like shooting fish in a barrel. But using an RPG to asplode the barrel rather than using a gun. Shit, it’s even easier than watching a GEICO commercial. You be you Mr. San Jose.
  • nicespice
    •
    3 years ago
    LOL surprised there isn’t some type of assembly line facilities around that don’t even really vax and low key dispose of the product, but will fill out paperwork. Sort of like those mechanics who will pass everyone on a safety inspection when somebody needs their car registration renewed
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    3 years ago
    Hey, this is going to go on for generations. The losers do not get to write the history. The victims of that mRNA needle jab will need to be compensated. And there is no Statute of Limitations on Crimes Against Humanity. We will not forget. SJG PBS Newshour, today, still feeding the hysteria and calling for more needle jabs, and lowering the age limit for "boosters" [view link] Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (Live at Farm Aid 1986) [view link] Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (Live 2006) [view link]
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