Proper etiquette outside a club. And inside

avatar for MeNotYou2
MeNotYou2
So, what is the proper etiquette when encountering a dancer outside a club..

1) if you randomly encounter them by themselves (and you are alone as well)

2) you randomly encounter them and they are with someone (and you are alone).


Now let’s look at this the other way. You go to a club and encounter someone you know at said club

A). You encounter a guy you know from outside the club while at the club

B). You encounter a women you know from outside the club at the club (not dancing or working )

C). You encounter a woman you know from outside the club and she IS dancing.


I have had a few of these happen to me. Which is odd because I live a reasonably distant from the clubs I used to frequent (I was out of the game for several years due to family issues)

#1 at a restaurant (she was along at the next table
#2. Was at a Store she was with her daughter
B) i ran into a waitress i new (from a restaurant outside the club) and she was at the club with a large group of guys and gals
C) I encountered a girl I worked with sister dancing at a local club. We knew each other as she had been at the office several times and I had been at there apartment at least a dozen times (and yes we had been introduced and talked on multiple occasions). She pretended not to know me… but she avoided me completely every time I came in. This was at my favorite club. My ATF (of the moment and the dancer referred to in #2) noticed that she was avoiding me and would occasionally bring it up…
BTW did I mention the sisters were identical twins (auburn hair). And no I am not making this up. Sadly I never made it with either sister…. Sigh….


19 comments

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avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
In these situations I wait for the other person to acknowledge me before saying or doing anything that shows I recognize them.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
3 years ago
If I run into a dancer OTC, I leave it to her to make a move. ITC anything goes.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Situations 1 and 2: I won't show any sign of recognition unless they do something first, but usually they also won't acknowledge me for the same reason that I'm not acknowledging them ... privacy. Many customers and dancers keep a barrier between their club life and personal life. I would especially not do anything if they're with people or a kid.

There was a single time when I was sitting down for a coffee in a coffee shop. A dancer I knew came in, got a coffee and bagel, sat down, and then noticed me but didn't give anything away. She took out her phone and sent me a text: "Can I come over and say hi?" She handled that well.

Situations A, B, and C: Though there may be a few exceptions, I try to leave before they see me. I'm private about my clubbing. If it's a guy (or woman) who hasn't talked to me about liking strip clubs before that, then there's a good chance that they are also some degree of private about it. So, why take a chance on an awkward encounter? Also, there are other clubs.

Situation C ... Many years ago, I went to the Foxy Lady. A dancer touched my shoulder to ask me for a dance, and when I turned around I saw that she was a woman who worked at my day job. Literally two cubicles away from me. She was a complete wreck, even though I explained that I wouldn't tell anyone at work (and I didn't). She lasted at the day job for another week and then quit. It wasn't remotely my fault, but I still felt bad. She liked working there. If I'd seen her first, I would have bolted out of the club and not gone back for a good long time.

avatar for MeNotYou2
MeNotYou2
3 years ago
I mostly tried to ignore the sister at the club, but being as i was a regular well before she started dancing I figured that it was up to her what to do. Just because she wanted to dance there was not (imho) reason enough for me to stop going yo my favorite club.
Also by the time she was dancing at the club I was no longer working with her sister or really even talking with her.
And being a single guy I could care less who knows I go to the clubs. So I never had a worry about that.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
If she was cute you could've tried to smash the sister. There's a lot of pussy I passed on when I was younger I'd be glad to have now lol. Maybe. In the age of social media I'm not sure how I'd manage casual sex other than the hobby.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
I'm also single. But life situations vary. There are some single guys who can care less, and then there are single guys who still have to care. Perhaps a lot.
avatar for MeNotYou2
MeNotYou2
3 years ago
Yeah, I can see how things could very. And while I don’t advertise I don’t have to worry about fallout. My work and my family and friends would not be adversely effected. If anything it would maybe prove which side I play for… :)
And yes she was pretty hot. About 5-10. Curly auburn hair athletic figure. And the sister was pretty nice but the dancer was more ummmm. Bitchy. That was how I knew which was which. That being said I would have taken a ride if offered but she wanted to avoid me so I didn’t push it.
Oddly my ATF tried a couple times (I had hinted that I was acquainted with her, and apparently the dancer told my ATF that she new me OTC. And mrt ATF had a minor thing for girls e dry once in a while so so she wanted to get together just the three of us but that never happened.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
What's life without missed opportunity and regret lol? Just try to not to whiff on the big ones and it'll be fine.
avatar for MeNotYou2
MeNotYou2
3 years ago
Oh that was never an opritunity…. The regret was not hooking up with the sister but that was never an opritunity either. As we never were single at the same time.
No about the only regret I have goes a lot farther back and has to do with someone different…

Mostly I was just wondering what folks considered proper…. And I was curious to see if I could get a bit more activity going on the forums. Back in the day I used yo be active on a bee forums that have long since gone the way of the dodo. Ah good old twosheds….
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
A lot of the regular posters here don't talk much about clubs. Once you've knocked out a lot of the stripper bucket list there's not much to talk about it seems. The mechanics of how the hobby works are pretty basic. It's the uncomfortable shit left over that can get complicated, but apparently you can't bark like an alpha male and be a vulnerable person at the same time.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
3 years ago
I've never run into a stripper while just out and about, but if I did, I'd follow the "let her make the first move or not" path. I suppose the other situation is, I see her out, and I have her phone number -- and chances are if she's danced for me more than once, I do -- I imagine it'd be okay to send her a quick "nice to see you, I'm alone so you can say hi if you're free, otherwise see you back at the club". Or maybe I wouldn't, I dunno, but if I have her number and we're on a texting basis already, I'd consider using it
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
I've run into dancers in normal settings 3 times that I can remember and it was the same every time - I didn't acknowledge her and she didn't say anything to me. One was alone but sitting in the waiting area of a urgent care clinic (hopefully not for anything STD related lol), one had her hands full with 3 kids as she headed into a gas station and the last was in a mall with what looked like her SO.

I sometimes run into a club bouncer in my gym. We've said hi, but that's as far as it went. What happens in the club stays in the club.

I've never run into anyone I know from the outside world ITC, but given the circles I travel in (family and religious/charitable) I'm not shocked by that. But I'm sure it will happen some day and my approach will be the same - I won't throw it in his/her face by approaching him/her. If they approach me I'll deal with it, though I'd much rather be approached by a girl who is dancing than an acquaintance from my social circles who just happens to be in the club.
avatar for tempest666
tempest666
3 years ago
If they acknowledge me by themselves I'll smile. If they're with their family, I don't know em. Unfortunately this doesn't always work, particularly if they have small children adept at browsing through their parent's phone. I was recognized by a customer's OFFSPRING while shopping. He recognized my tattoos and pointed out to mommy "That's the lady on daddy's phone, but she didn't have clothes on."
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
3 years ago
Lol! One more reason not to have tattoos!
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
3 years ago
I will fuck them all. they all know I’m a whore.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
My wife was dating someone else when we got together for our one night stand that's been going on for more than three decades. I talk to strangers so I ended up meeting him at RI Dolls one day. Took less than 5 minutes to discover who he was and I still laugh at how disappointed he was that we were happy.
I also turned around in the courtroom while trying a case one day to see a dancer I had done rooms with sitting in the courtroom. She was so stoic that I actually decided it wasn't her, left, went back and asked. She said she wanted to be discrete. Very cool.
avatar for BilMorJr
BilMorJr
3 years ago
At most, I’d give a friendly smile/nod that could be construed as nothing more than a friendly stranger. And yes, if they’re with someone, I wouldn’t even do that unless they made eye-contact. People who work in clubs deserve to have whatever boundaries they want, and people who go to clubs often do so because they want whatever they get there without the emotional entanglements of real (non-commercial) relationships.

I once saw a local bikini barista (and sometimes dancer) I frequent entering her apartment and I turned before she saw me, because I figured there’s some chance it would cause her a lot of anxiety if she thought a customer knew where she lived.
avatar for Eltriste
Eltriste
3 years ago
It depends. I make eye contact and take it from there. If she's with a guy or kids then I don't bother.
avatar for LVclubber
LVclubber
3 years ago
Twice I have run into a stripper unplanned outside the club.

First time, at a shopping mall. I was solo and so was she. I was going into Macy's and she was leaving. I briefly made eye contact. She did the same but, I saw she was with a guy, so I walked on. She did the same. We talked about it later at the club and had a good laugh. The guy was her off and on boyfriend. On at the moment we saw each other in the mall. She was appreciative that I didn't say anything. I got a great VIP from her too.

Second time, I saw a stripper, we were both with our spouses. Traci (the stripper) and I were in the middle of a continuing affair, but we had not planned on meeting. It was a random thing at a movie theater. We both played it cool and I don't think either of our spouses was any the wiser. At any rate, we didn't cool the affair. For that matter we are still continuing affair even though she is divorced and remarried, unhappily. I am divorced, happily. We have since discussed what we would say if a chance encounter with spouses/significant others/kids happens again. We don't know each other, we don't speak, we don't even acknowledge each other. Text later.
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