tuscl

Helping a stripper through a mid-life crisis

Muddy
USA
I was recently hanging out with a stripper who is 19 and soon to turn 20. To say the least she is very upset about not being a teenager anymore and confided in me to cheer her up. If your asking me advice you already know the shit is fucked up, but I was proud and humbled despite being borderline retarded.

I said, and this goes for really all young strippers, look, you at least got until your 23 before your considered over the hill not to worry. Yeah you’ll probably die at 30 in some back alley from a heroine and/or meth overdose but that’s way off. 10 years is a long time, 10 years is a very long time. Girl you got a lot a life to still yet live.

20 comments

  • bigman226
    •
    3 years ago
    Pretty much what I would've said. You left out the multiple sex acts with random strangers yet to be endured.
  • shailynn
    •
    3 years ago
    did you type this when you were pooping? now I know why your username is muddy! LMAO!!!!!
  • gammanu95
    •
    3 years ago
    I love it when Gen Z and millenials bitch about life. I'm like, "Buckle up, buckaroo! Life hasn't even begun to fuck you yet!"
  • shailynn
    •
    3 years ago
    You want a good laugh read some of Muddys raviews. The titles he gives them are hilarious!
  • TheeOSU
    •
    3 years ago
    Yeah Muddy has a way with words.
  • MadMaXXXNYC
    •
    3 years ago
    I completely relate to this. I dunno why, but I seem to attract strippers that are rethinking all of their life choices. I'm a nice guy, but not an idiot, so I usually get my dance on before switching to the inevitable "dad" mode and dispensing advice. I often, as did Muddy, just let them know to YOLO while they can, then learn how to do something useful. Occasionally the chats get deeper and about 35 yrs ago ( yes, that hurt like a b@#$ch to even type that number ) a buddy and I were out together, wound up talking to this young dancer, she really wants to go back to school, etc. Turns out she was pretty sincere, and not too jaded yet. Long evening short: we wind up going to a pay phone ( google it, x-ers ), calling her mom, taking her to a nearby diner to meet her mom, making up some crazy story about we met her in the "store" she was working in, got her and her mom to hash out the petty shit that was between them. They left together, with plans for school I think. Now, Mind you, I'm not a fool: She was cute but not at all "hot" in the way dancers need to be to survive and thrive. The whole time you could tell she wanted out. Also: kept her number, and had a few OTCs before she moved back home :).
  • jackslash
    •
    3 years ago
    Isn't a stripper crisis your opportunity to swoop in and get OTC at a rock bottom price?
  • shailynn
    •
    3 years ago
    ^^^ okay Rick Dugan.
  • Mate27
    •
    3 years ago
    It’s a privilege to grow old. As they say, youth gets wasted by the young. I am grateful I didn’t make too stupid of decisions in my youth that permanently damaged me. My mistakes were small enough to make full recoveries, but this young stripper may realize the pitfalls she’s about to walk into. Proceed with caution.
  • Muddy
    •
    3 years ago
    Yeah shailynn I have some of my deepest thoughts on the bowl. Some people do meditation, some do yoga, deep breathing techniques forget all that I got Taco Bell diarrhea.

    And jack that’s a good point
  • nicespice
    •
    3 years ago
    Will start writing the will now.

    I leave Blah with all my knives 🔪
  • SirLapdancealot
    •
    3 years ago
    LMAO nicespice is over the hill in stripper years. 😂
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    Its a hustle to make a trick think she trusts him. It's a disarming strategy
  • gSteph
    •
    3 years ago
    I'd cross a lot of hills to see the 'over the hill' Nicespice hills.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    3 years ago
    A stripper with a will? Wtf? NiceSpice it might be time to turn in you g string and pleaser heels if you have more than a video game console, and a cracked phone to leave to someone! Just kidding!

    I used to be a horrible drunk. I would listen to strippers telling me their life story as I guzzled more swill. I think it may have been interesting. But it all ran together at one point. I couldn’t remember if big tits Madison wanted to go back to community college to study communications - or if tatted Trixie was the one who thought she could become the hairstylist to the stars!

    It’s obvious some dancers need a legitimately stable person in their lives - and they may heed the advice of a perverted stranger who may be looking to bareback her for $200. It might not be the best person to ask for advice - but there may be very few choices.

  • SirLapdancealot
    •
    3 years ago
    @gSteph ...

    ... there's gold in them there hills!!!
  • theeastcoast757
    •
    3 years ago
    “ Its a hustle to make a trick think she trusts him. It's a disarming strategy”

    This sounds more likely who the hell would care about not being a teen again when most can’t wait to turn 21.
  • blahblahblah23
    •
    3 years ago
    Nicespice is a great hill climber, of course she's over the hill, stupid.
  • blahblahblah23
    •
    3 years ago
    Just talking sht all day everyday, the stupid isn't aimed at anyone.
  • twentyfive
    •
    3 years ago
    I always thought it was the strippers that were helping me with my midlife crisis
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