Do you guys think that the role of wife is different in America than in LATM?

Beat100
I was talking with a friend let's call him Ricardo, he's as well-off latin American so he might not represent poorer Latin American, however, it's a start.

America (Historically and now currently imbalance)

Strict Monogamy:

Choice of mate: One man tries to find a woman for a "validational relationship" in principle this relationship is meant to be solely based on personality and mutual compatability. Sometimes economy stability might play a role but a woman might be seen as a "gold digger" if she is too interested in money. A successful relationship is one that last a long time(years or decades).

Relationship Duties: The man and woman are meant to raise their children together and even sacrifice their job if it help them raise their children. This behavior is seen throughout all social classes where even people like George Lucas or Stephanie Meyer take an active role in raising their children. Historically it was mostly women who did the domestic duties(cleaning, cooking,raising the children) while men focus on bringing money to the household. However, nowadays it seems both partners are trying to do both roles. Moreover, the parents will act as "Moral Guardians" to the children until they are adults at this point the children are expected to live their own lives.

Actual relationship: It seems to me that this type of relationships can be "too close for comfort" for people many people around the world. For instance, I've noticed that the wife will be overly involved in the husband's life. For instance, if the husband wants to go to a stripclub that wife will want to go as well. Or every decision the husband makes he has to run it to his wife. A astute commentator told me he saw American men being "deferential" to their wives. Moreover, now in the modern time if a man cheat then he'll be severely penalized due to the current law system.

LATM(Wealthy and even other countries around the world follow similar variations)

Choice of mate: I can't generalize for everyone in LATAM but at least in my friend's case, he comes from a wealthy family. High status men will seek up "trophy" wives. The relationships is much more transactional in nature. Women will not be penalized if they want to be gold diggers and men will not be penalized if they "bought" their wives."

Relationship Duties: The woman will be there with the man in social events as well as has children with him. However, they do not raise their children together. Rather they have domestic workers who will raise their children. For instance, my friend Ricardo was mostly raise by his nanny. Now some Americans might object to this. However, some nannies are highly trained and even much more capable of raising the children. Cleaning and cooking are delegated cooks and cleaners. You might think this lifestyle is incredibly expensive, however, its not necessarily the case the cost of living is way lower.

Actual relationship: It seems to me that both men and woman are better off under this system. For instance, the woman gets to enjoy life much more. My friend's mom had an active social life. She was doing Yoga and hanging out with her friends, living a more or less carefree lifestyle. In contrast, look at British singer Lily Allen she talks about 22-30 where she "forced" to give up her party lifestyle or even social life. For the man, I feel that as long as he is proving the lifestyle for his wife and children. He seems to get "off the hook" if he cheats on his wife. As long as he keeps it on the DL. His wife doesn't expect him to be neither emotionally nor physically exclusive to her.

What do you guys think?

27 comments

Latest

skibum609
4 years ago
The ramifications of committing adultery, unless you include your children in the affair, mean absolutely nothing in Massachusetts divorce cases. Less than nothing. Doesn't have any affect at all on alimony or property division. None. Zero. The best way to have a relationship is what works for you and your family. Children should be raised by their parents, not a nanny. As far as trophy wives? My brother married when he was 28. He was aa VP of a company his Wife a CPA. She quit work and has never worked in the past 30 years. He is now very wealthy and not mercedes wealthy, but more like own your own plane; 3 boats; house on the intercoastal highway wealthy. I asked him over cocktails (10) last summer when he was going to get a trophy wife. His response? I already have one. He gets it. Most don't.
Beat100
4 years ago
@skibum
I appreciate your response. At the same time, I think there's historical and cultural reasons why your brother thinks that way. I remember reading that Americans and Western Europeans are the groups most prone to monogamy. A chinese lord to could have many whites while a French king would have only one. There has also bee the role of the church which posed strong regulations.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Every latin American country is different and machismo and Catholic influence on relationships is generally considered anachronistic.

CD you think you need to control women to keep them from leaving you. Thats the surest way to assure that they do leave.
Sgtsnowman
4 years ago
If you don't understand that Americans had a common set of values that were based on a very conservative, religiously founded set of morals (Puritans/Protestants)you can psycho-babble all you want about validation, blah, blah, blah, but you're just nibbling around the edge of it.

While Catholic theology had very similar clauses, that belief system had the addition of a confessional that wiped away transgressions upon completion of the required penance. In the Puritan/Protestant system you didn't escape the judgements/social shunning of business associates and neighbors just because you confessed and said a few prayers.

The social and business ramifications that existed up through the 50's ensured that the vast majority of people stayed together regardless of what was going in inside the house. If you don't know an old timer who would sooner amputate a hand than have to break a handshake deal, or one of those guys who would beat a kid purple and black for sassing his mother you don't have a frame of reference for understanding the social forces that applied to the idea of getting a divorce or admitting that your marriage was the result of any other decision than to join in holy matrimony.
gSteph
4 years ago
Perhaps you're not ready to play the wife role. Or the other one.
skibum609
4 years ago
Sorry beat, but why would you assume that either of us is monogamous. I never mentioned it, because its not true for either of us. Add in the fact that neither of us has ever spent a single day on earth as a member of a church and you incorrectly made an assumption that involved monogamy. Almost 38 years of divorce practice confirms what I have always believed: Sexual jealousy is the true relationship killer in marriages. The divorce rate for both gay and straight couples fixated on monogamy is over 50%; while the divorce rate in more open types of marriages is closer to 10%. Marriage has been a romantic institution since the late 1800s and previously it was financially based.
chessmaster
4 years ago
Feminism is taking a strangle hold in the west, particularly in America. The women are still somewhat traditional in Latin America but feminism is slowly spreading and infecting the west beyond just America. Women now want to be married but don't want to be wives. They want kids but dont want to be mothers.
skibum609
4 years ago
My wife's self-imposed nickname is June Cleaver. I like being old.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Feminism is treating women as equals. It makes sex a lot easier to get and makes women more open. Some of the best and 1ildest sex ive had was with chicanx and latinx activists and womens studies majors
chessmaster
4 years ago
"Feminism is treating women as equals"

Its really not. Maybe first or second wave feminism, as in 50+ years ago. Now its simply about treating hoes like queens and most men like second class citizens. Youre right about sex being a lot easier though. We love to celebrate/worship hoes now.
Tetradon
4 years ago
I had amazing sex with a Planned Parenthood volunteer, and she wanted to get pregnant less than I wanted to get her pregnant. Win/win.

It was dealing with her daddy/men issues _outside_ the bedroom that was harrowing.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Theres nothing wrong with women beung sexually assertive.

Just coz you can't get laid doesn't mean society is at fault
Dave_Anderson
4 years ago
What is LATAM? Too many damn acronyms these days. Can't keep them straight.
Dave_Anderson
4 years ago
This Icee character is a fake characature, right?
Dave_Anderson
4 years ago
Latinas from rich families are bad news. Avoid like the plague, lol.
skibum609
4 years ago
Feminsim is everything about a radical, hate filled left wing agenda and nothing about women. According to gallup 41% of women are pro-life so to frame the killing of the unborn as a woman's right, is a fraud and a lie, since more than 4 out of 10 see it as a crime. Since the rise of feminism, the american family has been eradicated. Good show. While feminists crow about improvements in women's lives, they just mean liberal, elite coastal women. For other women, feminism has brought them lowering rates of longevity. Feminism as practiced today is anti-male bigotry based on gender. By the way Icee semen in your ass low life: No fucking man calls a woman a whore and claims to support feminism. Hope the fry-o-later splashed you today.
rickdugan
4 years ago
Wow this thread is way too much thinking for me.

Look, you pick the partner whose family values and life goals sync up with your own. Simple. There are plenty of women out there who still value quasi "traditional" relationships - you just have to be man enough to put the whole family on your back financially.

The original post struck me as a backdoor whining exercise, with the rosy assumption that somehow Latin American men have it better. The reality is that most of them have it far worse in many ways. In many of those countries both spouses have to do whatever they can just to survive unless one of them is a top percenter. In fact many of these families have to split up so that one spouse (usually the husband) can slip across the border here and send money back home to feed his family. The OP's Latin American character was able to maintain that type of dynamic precisely because he was wealthy, but it is not the customary relationship dynamic for most Latin American marriages.
sclvr5005
4 years ago
Lol some real antiquated outdated views in feminism here. Demonizing the left is another lame argument from from weak insecure men who are easily threatened by everything that isn't them running the show. True feminism is about equality. Unfortunately for women most men aren't willing to share the entitlement and perks that we have been given as a birthright.
skibum609
4 years ago
Calling people lame and insecure is merely an admission you are talking about yourself and are a weak, pathetic "victim". Antiquated thinking today from the viewpoint of the progressive: hard work; honesty; self- sufficiency; pride; thriftiness; family; religion. Birthright lol. Losers need a law proclaiming their equality because they aren't equal and never once worked on being equal because its hard work. Apparently whining and victimhood are the only 2 birthrights for progressives. Outdated lol. You mean the views that made us great are outdated. Agree its why we're becoming the shithole country progressives want to live in. Its why we have to import failures so progressives can at least be superior to someone.
Tetradon
4 years ago
All depends which wave of feminism we're talking about. Suffrage? Awesome. Reproductive rights? I'm generally pro-choice though I think elective abortion is morally wrong.

Gender studies, victimhood, critical theory? Out with it.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Every country us different. Treating Latin America as a single entity is like saying the US Zimbabwe and Dominica are the same because English is spoken and theres a common English colonial heritage.

CD all of your threads basically claim white American men are victims because American women have a choice in who they fuck and its not fair coz they don't choose you. You can't possibly be the problem so you blame society.


Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Skibum you have a martyr complex and your while identity on here is based on victimhood. You portray yourself as a victim of liberal America. Without the bigot vs progressive dichotomy you espouse youre left with nothing to say.
sclvr5005
4 years ago
Lmao awwwww so butthurt about "progressives". As an obvious "regressive" it's time to find something else to whine about.
Beat100
4 years ago
@2icee
I'm not advocating for white men, I'm advocating for American men. You need to see how many black men who are not tyrone and don't get anything. All I'm doing is trying to help American men evaluate their options and pursue better deals.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
CD your posts always hint of racism and yeah you advocate for incels.

Getting laid is easy. The problem isn't womens rights. Its social retardation
orionsmith
4 years ago
Toxic feminism has been teaching young women they can sleep around and find a guy later in life and treat Her Royal Highness Because Guys Are Thought Of And Treated Like Second Class Citizens The Only Group It Is Ok To Publically Ridicule And Treat Like Crap. Some Men Have Become Aware And Marriage Rates Are At 150 Year Lows In Almost All Westernized Countries And Birth Rates Are Dropping And Western Countries Are Projecting Population Decreases . The Situation Is Not Getting Better. Many Educated Women Focus On Career Bute If They Don't Find A Mate By Their Late 20's They Discover Later On The Men Treat Them Like They Treated The Men.
Icee Loco (asshole)
4 years ago
Women are desperate to get guys. Just ciz they don't want you doesn't mean they don't want men
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