Do you guys think that the role of wife is different in America than in LATM?
I was talking with a friend let's call him Ricardo, he's as well-off latin American so he might not represent poorer Latin American, however, it's a start.
America (Historically and now currently imbalance)
Strict Monogamy:
Choice of mate: One man tries to find a woman for a "validational relationship" in principle this relationship is meant to be solely based on personality and mutual compatability. Sometimes economy stability might play a role but a woman might be seen as a "gold digger" if she is too interested in money. A successful relationship is one that last a long time(years or decades).
Relationship Duties: The man and woman are meant to raise their children together and even sacrifice their job if it help them raise their children. This behavior is seen throughout all social classes where even people like George Lucas or Stephanie Meyer take an active role in raising their children. Historically it was mostly women who did the domestic duties(cleaning, cooking,raising the children) while men focus on bringing money to the household. However, nowadays it seems both partners are trying to do both roles. Moreover, the parents will act as "Moral Guardians" to the children until they are adults at this point the children are expected to live their own lives.
Actual relationship: It seems to me that this type of relationships can be "too close for comfort" for people many people around the world. For instance, I've noticed that the wife will be overly involved in the husband's life. For instance, if the husband wants to go to a stripclub that wife will want to go as well. Or every decision the husband makes he has to run it to his wife. A astute commentator told me he saw American men being "deferential" to their wives. Moreover, now in the modern time if a man cheat then he'll be severely penalized due to the current law system.
LATM(Wealthy and even other countries around the world follow similar variations)
Choice of mate: I can't generalize for everyone in LATAM but at least in my friend's case, he comes from a wealthy family. High status men will seek up "trophy" wives. The relationships is much more transactional in nature. Women will not be penalized if they want to be gold diggers and men will not be penalized if they "bought" their wives."
Relationship Duties: The woman will be there with the man in social events as well as has children with him. However, they do not raise their children together. Rather they have domestic workers who will raise their children. For instance, my friend Ricardo was mostly raise by his nanny. Now some Americans might object to this. However, some nannies are highly trained and even much more capable of raising the children. Cleaning and cooking are delegated cooks and cleaners. You might think this lifestyle is incredibly expensive, however, its not necessarily the case the cost of living is way lower.
Actual relationship: It seems to me that both men and woman are better off under this system. For instance, the woman gets to enjoy life much more. My friend's mom had an active social life. She was doing Yoga and hanging out with her friends, living a more or less carefree lifestyle. In contrast, look at British singer Lily Allen she talks about 22-30 where she "forced" to give up her party lifestyle or even social life. For the man, I feel that as long as he is proving the lifestyle for his wife and children. He seems to get "off the hook" if he cheats on his wife. As long as he keeps it on the DL. His wife doesn't expect him to be neither emotionally nor physically exclusive to her.
What do you guys think?
America (Historically and now currently imbalance)
Strict Monogamy:
Choice of mate: One man tries to find a woman for a "validational relationship" in principle this relationship is meant to be solely based on personality and mutual compatability. Sometimes economy stability might play a role but a woman might be seen as a "gold digger" if she is too interested in money. A successful relationship is one that last a long time(years or decades).
Relationship Duties: The man and woman are meant to raise their children together and even sacrifice their job if it help them raise their children. This behavior is seen throughout all social classes where even people like George Lucas or Stephanie Meyer take an active role in raising their children. Historically it was mostly women who did the domestic duties(cleaning, cooking,raising the children) while men focus on bringing money to the household. However, nowadays it seems both partners are trying to do both roles. Moreover, the parents will act as "Moral Guardians" to the children until they are adults at this point the children are expected to live their own lives.
Actual relationship: It seems to me that this type of relationships can be "too close for comfort" for people many people around the world. For instance, I've noticed that the wife will be overly involved in the husband's life. For instance, if the husband wants to go to a stripclub that wife will want to go as well. Or every decision the husband makes he has to run it to his wife. A astute commentator told me he saw American men being "deferential" to their wives. Moreover, now in the modern time if a man cheat then he'll be severely penalized due to the current law system.
LATM(Wealthy and even other countries around the world follow similar variations)
Choice of mate: I can't generalize for everyone in LATAM but at least in my friend's case, he comes from a wealthy family. High status men will seek up "trophy" wives. The relationships is much more transactional in nature. Women will not be penalized if they want to be gold diggers and men will not be penalized if they "bought" their wives."
Relationship Duties: The woman will be there with the man in social events as well as has children with him. However, they do not raise their children together. Rather they have domestic workers who will raise their children. For instance, my friend Ricardo was mostly raise by his nanny. Now some Americans might object to this. However, some nannies are highly trained and even much more capable of raising the children. Cleaning and cooking are delegated cooks and cleaners. You might think this lifestyle is incredibly expensive, however, its not necessarily the case the cost of living is way lower.
Actual relationship: It seems to me that both men and woman are better off under this system. For instance, the woman gets to enjoy life much more. My friend's mom had an active social life. She was doing Yoga and hanging out with her friends, living a more or less carefree lifestyle. In contrast, look at British singer Lily Allen she talks about 22-30 where she "forced" to give up her party lifestyle or even social life. For the man, I feel that as long as he is proving the lifestyle for his wife and children. He seems to get "off the hook" if he cheats on his wife. As long as he keeps it on the DL. His wife doesn't expect him to be neither emotionally nor physically exclusive to her.
What do you guys think?
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
27 comments
I appreciate your response. At the same time, I think there's historical and cultural reasons why your brother thinks that way. I remember reading that Americans and Western Europeans are the groups most prone to monogamy. A chinese lord to could have many whites while a French king would have only one. There has also bee the role of the church which posed strong regulations.
CD you think you need to control women to keep them from leaving you. Thats the surest way to assure that they do leave.
While Catholic theology had very similar clauses, that belief system had the addition of a confessional that wiped away transgressions upon completion of the required penance. In the Puritan/Protestant system you didn't escape the judgements/social shunning of business associates and neighbors just because you confessed and said a few prayers.
The social and business ramifications that existed up through the 50's ensured that the vast majority of people stayed together regardless of what was going in inside the house. If you don't know an old timer who would sooner amputate a hand than have to break a handshake deal, or one of those guys who would beat a kid purple and black for sassing his mother you don't have a frame of reference for understanding the social forces that applied to the idea of getting a divorce or admitting that your marriage was the result of any other decision than to join in holy matrimony.
Its really not. Maybe first or second wave feminism, as in 50+ years ago. Now its simply about treating hoes like queens and most men like second class citizens. Youre right about sex being a lot easier though. We love to celebrate/worship hoes now.
It was dealing with her daddy/men issues _outside_ the bedroom that was harrowing.
Just coz you can't get laid doesn't mean society is at fault
Look, you pick the partner whose family values and life goals sync up with your own. Simple. There are plenty of women out there who still value quasi "traditional" relationships - you just have to be man enough to put the whole family on your back financially.
The original post struck me as a backdoor whining exercise, with the rosy assumption that somehow Latin American men have it better. The reality is that most of them have it far worse in many ways. In many of those countries both spouses have to do whatever they can just to survive unless one of them is a top percenter. In fact many of these families have to split up so that one spouse (usually the husband) can slip across the border here and send money back home to feed his family. The OP's Latin American character was able to maintain that type of dynamic precisely because he was wealthy, but it is not the customary relationship dynamic for most Latin American marriages.
Gender studies, victimhood, critical theory? Out with it.
CD all of your threads basically claim white American men are victims because American women have a choice in who they fuck and its not fair coz they don't choose you. You can't possibly be the problem so you blame society.
I'm not advocating for white men, I'm advocating for American men. You need to see how many black men who are not tyrone and don't get anything. All I'm doing is trying to help American men evaluate their options and pursue better deals.
Getting laid is easy. The problem isn't womens rights. Its social retardation