Names - Cool or Not
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
Dale - I’ve never met anyone named Dale that was cool. Every Dale I’ve know has been super nerdy.
Kyle - I don’t think I’ve ever met a Kyle that wasn’t a douche.
Summer - I don’t think I’ve ever met a Summer that wasn’t a stripper or a check out girl at WalMart.
Bruce - even keeled, most likely an accountant, wears khakis and golf shirts, and his idea of a wild night is having a beer at Applebee’s.
Jennifer or Melissa. 75% of all girls I grew up with had one of these two names.
Stephanie - not the coolest name but off the top of my head every Stephanie I’ve met (I’m thinking of 7 right now) were all hot. Not just “alright” but “HOT”!!!
Kelly - just about every Kelly I’ve known is crazy.
John or Bill - about 1/3 of the guys I grew up with were named one of these two names.
Karissa - super sexy name. I’m biased my favorite girl I dated in high school had that name.
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Adams I've known have been nerdy.
Michael(s) I've run into have always been cool, but of course such a common name. Thankfully I never did meet Michael Myers. I heard that guy isn't exactly the friendliest person.
Jennifer, Jen, Jenny most common female name. My work had 5 of them between three teams (maybe 100 people total maybe even less) at one point.
Julie seems to be bitchy or drama queens (luckily this is from friends and relatives only, I've never met a Julie besides my friends or relatives knowing them)
Anyway, that lady was cool from what I remember but this was around 30 or so years ago! She was a friend of my parents and probably the only one I remember from way back then because the name was/is so rare-for a female.
Linda - Old, fat, miserable spinster that has given up on life, probably a cashier at Wal-Mart who reads romance novels on her lunch break. Hasn't had D in 20 years.
Tom - Dirt poor with a messed up life, will do embarrassing things for money, think Kenny McCormick in South Park.
Patricia - If white, another Linda; if Latin/Brazilian, super hot and crazy.
Holly/Molly - Blonde, friendly, conservative, likely religious and family-oriented.
Brian - Whip smart and cool. A couple of my best friends are Brian's.
Anyone who insists on their full name (James not Jim, Christopher not Chris, David not Dave, that type) - Uptight and unpleasant. Probably an overworked accountant, doctor, or lawyer who hates his life.
Patrick - A charismatic con artist. A few Patrick's have tried to enroll me in get-rich-quick schemes. I did not bite, and they all crashed and burned.
Any "creative" spelling of a common name - Has poor and stupid parents who don't realize they've consigned their children to a lifetime of confusion. The apple might not have fallen far from the tree.
Emily - Generic and forgettable as they come. I've known a million, two stand out to me for anything.
I agree about Kyle, known two and both douches.
The Bruces I have known were former military and functional alcoholics. No way I could keep up when they started to party.
In general, IME nick-name people (Bill, Bob, Jon) are more fun to be around than formal name people (William, Robert, Jonathan) and two name people are deviants (William Robert, Robert Jon, Billy Bob).
But that dude like takin’ up the ol’ Hershey highway. One time we were hanging out and he excused himself to use the can. Went by a the ‘fridge on the way to the can. A few minutes later I heard ABBA playing really loud and a squeal of pleasure. Crazy sumbitch shoved a frickin’ pineapple up his anus.
Fellas, if I can give you one piece of rickvice that you’ll take it is this: no 🍍 in the 🍑 ROAR!!!
What about those that use the moniker RickiBoi ? askin for a friend
Oh maybe an illegal immigrant former Calcutta back alley whore who snuck into Amderica and plies her trade from behind the 7/11 counter and the back alleys of Denver.
Guys named Apoopdeep tend to be hard workers - who don’t easily part with their money. They usually look for ultra low cost gang bangs.
I wish to have no issue with the council of ricks. But I find it odd when a guy named Richard asks to be called Dick.
And I generally agree that full names often go along with a bit of a prissy attitude.
Girl with names like Kathy or Ann - who will tell you they just took a big shit so it’s a good time to fuck her ass since it’s empty back there...
Matt – A total bro, does keg stands post-college and asks you how much you bench press. But might still be a cool guy.
Kevin – Like a preppy version of Matt, but more of a douche. Kind of guy who thinks he’s cooler than he actually is. May wear Vineyard Vines.
Eric/Erik – Complete malicious assface fuckstick who lacks redeeming qualities. Often a bully, until he gets smacked in the mouth.
Ryan – Half Matt, half Eric. You never know which side you’re going to get, especially drunk.
Roger – Mousy-looking nerd who walks around looking homeless.
Alan/Allen/Allan – Cooler nerdy guy, might be mousy but has his own sort of charisma.
Raj/Rajiv – Cool Indian guy, chill, laid back, and charismatic. Gets a ton of pussy.
Andrew – Socially awkward dork who looks at your feet when he is talking to you. Obsessive about his Dungeons and Dragons campaign, get him talking about it and he’ll ramble on for hours.
Ricky (not Rick or rick) – Flaming homosexual. Keep him away from aerosol cans and gas fumes.
Christina – Nice girl, may be hot and doesn’t realize it. Solid woman.
Chrissy – Like a Christina who might be a raging slut.
Amanda – Poor, but hot and knows it. Might be a sister to Tom, above. Party girl, might be a raging slut.
donna - all are hard to get cock teasers
kim - puts out to the hottest guy in the area
frankie - a dude who just says or does something that makes you uncontrollably laugh for 5 minutes
joe - most of these guys are a bunch of crazy motherfuckers
tony - volatile. can peak to violence. might have mafioso tendencies, even though not made guys
anthony - a way more subdued version of tony
john - a friend who you can always shoot the shit with
I agree with you on Frankie, every single one I knew of was a cutup. Franks on the other hand you got to watch out for.
Also completely agree with Raj, every single one I have met so far has ladies swooning after them, and on Monday looks like he has gone on a three day bender. His polar opposite is Pradeep.
Now here are a few of mine.
Richard - Often the designated driver in a group.
Rich - Often the one who needs the designated driver.
Dick - Never needs a designated driver, because he can drink everyone else under the table.
Brooke - Complete and utter air head.
Samantha - In strip clubs usually a good time. Any other place, boring.
Sam (female) Cool, usually a female version of Dick.
Sam (male) Not cool, but usually a stand up dude.
Unless she's Asian, then she's the exact opposite.
Parents can get a bit silly with names. Knew a guy who's initials were EDE, names Eddie. Another guy named Tom whose initials were TOM. Which made me remember another name non-cool name Orville. Only knew one guy named Orville, so can't really make any generalizations.