" . . . I got stabbed here. Would consider going back."

avatar for Eve
Eve
Where there's a hole, there's a way. [HIATUS]
Among other funny club 'reviews' here: https://twitter.com/strip_reviews

I know we get some bad submissions sometimes, but I got a laugh from some of these.

19 comments

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avatar for Muddy
Muddy
4 years ago
Typical Jags lol.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
4 years ago
Got stabbed, might go back

Damn, blablabla must be Fucking HOT 🔥
avatar for Eve
Eve
4 years ago
"they wont allow people to smoke heroin in the dressing room but they don't want to allow people to smoke medical marijuana"
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
4 years ago
Haha, I feel like somebody borrowed it from elsewhere:
https://ifunny.co/picture/i-got-stabbed-…
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
4 years ago
avatar for Eve
Eve
4 years ago
^ He'll try anything once.
avatar for pistola
pistola
4 years ago
Yelp and Google reviews of clubs can be highly entertaining as well.

This one sticks out when I did a bunch of research of FL clubs. Wackos from Yelp:

You want to spend no more than 9 dollars and feel the fresh c-section scar of a 38 year old Cuban immigrant dime piece? Look no further. Wackos is it. The best over the pants hj Jacksonville has to offer. The 1 am buffet left overs aren't half bad either. The real party starts in the parking lot when wackos closes. My man Chris won 5 hundo cash on an organized pit bull fight right outside. You know me I had to drop the top on these hoes. About 5 Dominican mamis hopped in the coupe and we took the party to Wawa afterwards. Would I go to wackos again? 100%

avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
4 years ago
If you let a little thing like a stabbing keep you from a strip-club then you're not a real man
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
4 years ago
I like the one that says, "Best place in the lower 48." As if Alaska and Hawaii are the hottest SC states in the country.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
4 years ago
Let’s think about the quality of the dancers at the club being reviewed. The girls must all be 10+ on the scale - to make a guy want to return after a stabbing!

A long time ago - when I was in my 20’s - I had gotten some stitches removed from my back. The bandage covering the wound leaked through my shirt - so I had a small blood stain - but I didn’t discover it until many hours later.

I had gone clubbing later that evening. I hit up two seedy clubs in the Newark area. I’m chatting with a dancer at the bar - and her dealer stops over to hand her a bag of coke.

When I got back home after the night I was thinking how does a guy in a blood stained shirt not raise any red flags in a club?

I think it is fully dependent on the club and location -
avatar for Eve
Eve
4 years ago
^ Maybe they just figured a girl started her period in the middle of a 'dance' you bought.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
4 years ago
Good point Eve. It’s probably happened before in clubs.
avatar for pistola
pistola
4 years ago
Tropical Lei, Yelp:

After basically being pressured into a lap dance the drunk whino then started to do her dance which was swaying my overall opinion of the place due to the curves she had, but just when I was thinking "well this isn't so bad" she bends over to put her legs on the sides of my head and their I saw what no man in no sexual situation wants to see.... a smear of shit on her ass cheek with a dingleberry hugging the thong followed by the stench of level 3 ass. I got up almost throwing her face first into the ground saying I had to leave, it was an emergency. I was so disgusted I threw up in the parking lot and couldn't forget the smell. I'm going tommorow to get checked for pinkeye cause I feel an itch coming on. Please go elsewhere.

Useful 10

Funny 82

Cool 4
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
4 years ago
^ I picked the wrong-time to read that post, I just literally finished dinner less than 5-minutes ago
avatar for Eve
Eve
4 years ago
And I just left iHOP.
I bet Pistola legit planned to share that right at dinner time.
avatar for WhiteyJackson
WhiteyJackson
4 years ago
^Thought didn’t cross my mind, but ‘Lulz’ that you think I would think like that.
avatar for WhiteyJackson
WhiteyJackson
4 years ago
Oops the jig is up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
avatar for Eve
Eve
4 years ago
𝗼𝗼𝗽𝘀.
avatar for DenimChicken
DenimChicken
4 years ago
Level 3 Ass
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