Help me process this...

32 comments

• Liwet

  •

  4 years ago

  She's rejected you 3 times so assume it's not going to happen. Wait for her to initiate next time.
• Richard_Head

  •

  4 years ago

  Lots of Covid flags, probably for the best.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Liwet, fully agree. That's how I left things. Richard, i certainly hope she's ok and not dealing with that craziness. Thanks for the input so far.
• whodey

  •

  4 years ago

  Seems like she might have found different way to make money and took that route instead of you. Pretty typical stripper behavior in my experience. A lot of strippers will string you along (along with other clients) and then choose their best option and ghost the rest until they need income again.
• TheElmerFudd

  •

  4 years ago

  It’s her and not you. More importantly... Dude you need to just move on. Don’t dwell on why a stripper ghosted you.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Thanks for the support everyone. Everything you're saying makes sense. I can think of little things that still dont fully make sense, but, the best advice is fuds...just move on. I shouldn't dwell on things like this. Always need to remember that.
• ime

  •

  4 years ago

  Classic stripper shit, dont think twice about it.
• Bavarian

  •

  4 years ago

  Maybe you were too eager. You care too much about her when y’all are not in a relationship. That scares women because they think you’re obsessing over them.
• misterorange

  •

  4 years ago

  I'll preface this by saying it's impossible to figure out why women do what they do, or how they interpret things one way or the other. For strippers that goes times 3 at least. So whether or not you ever learn the truth, don't beat yourself up over it. That said, one question would be about the girlfriend she brought along to your other meetings. What kind of vibe did you get from her? I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts she's filling your girl's head with negative shit and cock-blocking you.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Mister, the friend she brought is no longer friends with her. They had a falling out sometime in march I believe.
• misterorange

  •

  4 years ago

  Well that kinda shoots my theory. Lol.
• Cristobal

  •

  4 years ago

  @misterorange has it right, almost impossible to figure out women and that impossibility increases exponentially when it comes to strippers. I would move on but if she made an attempt to make it up (discount, more sessions, more time) I would hear her out and consider my options. That being said, I would not hold my breath waiting.
• IceyLoco

  •

  4 years ago

  She doesn't want to prostitute herself to you. Thats not something to be so upset about. There are plenty of hookers out there
• Muddy

  •

  4 years ago

  Strippers overall really just aren’t like us. When most of us say we are going to do something we do it. That’s not a thing in stripper land. That’s why it just pays to have more options, don’t be waited on baited breath for just one. That shit will probably fall through. But to be fair this is typical shit that we all see. I’m not saying never talk to her again but I wouldn’t plan nights around strippers. She’s just another option in your phone while your doing your thing clubbing. And don’t be booking no hotels till she’s actually with you. Fuck that.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Iceyloco, to be clear, sex of any kind was never on or expected to be on the table. If she thought it was, that's me fucking up.
• IceyLoco

  •

  4 years ago

  You were going to pay her to just dance?
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  And play with herself with a toy. But yes, I knew I was paying for an enhanced club experience and no sex. I know that's not the mo for most on here.
• IceyLoco

  •

  4 years ago

  That helps put it in perspective. I think that your past experiences with her out of thw club show shes a bit nervous and insecure with tye decision. Maybe she saw this as a precursor to you asking for sex and that made her too nervous. Most dancers aren't into seeing customers out of the club.
• IceyLoco

  •

  4 years ago

  Just back off and then text her asking how she is. That you haven't heard from her and are worried. Leave the line of communication open and leqve it like that
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  4 years ago

  I think you are looking at this thru civilian-goggles - you seem perplexed at a stripper flaking out - you should be perplexed if you find one that doesn't. To get to the crux of it - if she wanted to be-with/see you, she would - all these "emergencies" are typical SS (stripper shit) - for the most part if a stripper's lips are moving, you should assume she's lying. Most strippers hate what they have to do for $$$ and avoid it as much of it if they can - for her seeing a PL outside the club is not fun, it's work; and they rather not have to work "when not at the office". You haven't "messed up" - all this thinking that "you may have crossed some line" is a pointless exercise - you seem to be treating this like a civilian chick you are trying to court for a relationship - you say it's not that, but you are treating it that way. In reality the custy/dancer relationship is just business - so I don't see the point of inviting her on non-sex dates - again seems you are treating it like a civilian relationship which is not - the more accommodating one tries to be w/ a stripper by being Mr Chivalrous usually the more easy one makes it for them to string you along and u$e you till they don't have a use for you or the PL becomes more effort that he's worth. Just b/c a stripper does a good job of pretending to like you and "love your presence" in a strip-club, does not mean she wants to put in that amount of fake effort all the time especially outside the club, unless she's de$perate. It takes time to learn how to understand and deal with strippers - and even then it's often a crapshoot.
• Subraman

  •

  4 years ago

  " I really dont see where I committed such great sin that she would suddenly cut off all communication" Ha, you're making me nostalgic for my very first ATF. I remember being so confused whenever she would flake, I'd offer a supporting word and offer to reschedule, and she'd ghost. I'd learn over the years that that's just what strippers do when they don't want to do something. They send you an excuse, and if you are smart enough to realize that it's a bullshit excuse and just say "ok", that's great. If you're dumb enough to keep engaging even though she expected you to realize the excuse is bullshit, she just ghosts for a while. She'll return to communicating when enough time has passed (usually just days) that she doesn't think she'll have to deal with it anymore. Two excuses and a ghost is a crystal clear signal. You know it, too, you just don't want to admit it do yourself, because then you realize she just doesn't want to do this (at least right now). With the aforesaid first ATF, I'd see her out partying on her BFF's facebook page, so I knew she'd just gotten a better offer, is all.
• NAAAASTY

  •

  4 years ago

  "I get having cold feet with meeting up 1:1 and offered her that out. But she insisted she was all good" one of two things, she was being polite so as to not make it seem anything wrong about you or she WAS good... good at the time she said it. Closer it got to meetup, her anxiety kicked in. see where you stand. text her "what happened last night, is everything ok?" what and how long before she responds will say all you need. NAAAASTY lots of red flags. she did you a favor. whatever it was she wasn't into it that night. up to you how you want to handle it. do you want to deal with a flake (comes with the territory) or if you play your cards right, you get her to make it up to you.
• rickdugan

  •

  4 years ago

  Move on 'cause she had a change of heart. Maybe if you had just been clear that you wanted to get laid instead of being coy she might have showed up. You also over-pursued her based upon what I can glean, which also tends to make them skittish, especially with first time OTC. Chill dude. Just think of it like any work contract. Until it's signed on the dotted line it's not a done deal. Same with an OTC stripper, except replace "signed on the dotted line" with "naked in my hotel bed."
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Subraman's explanation honestly makes the most sense here. As it stands, I've told her I'd love to talk again but wont be reaching out myself to do so. I feel a little bad if she thought I was truly going to coerce her for sex, but, that's out of my control. I treated her respectfully, so no regrets there. Only thing I can control now is how I let this affect me. It shouldn't, as so many have said, so, it's time to brush it off my shoulder and keep my head up.
• Chilli_Powdurr

  •

  4 years ago

  Sounds like my ex wife 😔
• misterorange

  •

  4 years ago

  Dude, after you mentioned the nature of what this meeting was supposed to be, it got me wondering one thing. If you don't want to say, then just take this as a rhetorical question to reflect on. How much $$ was involved here? I mean, if you were expecting to pay the cost of what a few LDs would be at the club, that's not gonna cut it for OTC, with or without sex. I'm sure there's a rare exception, but generally a stripper who agrees to OTC couldn't care less if you fuck for an hour straight or she rubs her cunt while you jack off in a garbage can. You're paying for her time and all the preparation, travel time, etc.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Misterorange, in the past it had been 400 for 2 hours with a little social time. This also included food, drinks, and special gifts. Same was true here. As for desertscrub, I did end up sending cash for the vids. Also randomly sent some cash for provocative chats she offered up during quarantine. I'm pretty sure I treated her very fairly, was clear in my communication and expectations and left the door open for her to come back if she wishes. If not, life goes on.
• twentyfive

  •

  4 years ago

  This is getting stupid you have been told what’s up, I think you’re a troll that has posted several versions of this story go away please you are boring
• gobstopper007

  •

  4 years ago

  I admit to being a novice compared to most on here. Generally a stripper sees a customer as source of income. She will measure her investment to her return. Maybe she’d rather go with the guy who’s expecting sex but willing to pay a lot more or she doesn’t want a “relationship” with a customer. Despite the bs I get from dancers about how they love older guys I’m sure none would look twice at me if I wasn’t slipping $ in their garters.
• pistola

  •

  4 years ago

  Strippers are flaky? Gtfo. Next time be a pro, meet at a bar for drinks, THEN use Expedia to book a room.
• mhend69

  •

  4 years ago

  Yup, responses are getting trolly as well. Thanks for the honest support earlier in the thread. /endthread
• IceyLoco

  •

  4 years ago

  If every interaction is paid for then that one was just out of her comfort zone or she didn't think it was worth it.