Late to the game

gawker
Older than dirt
I was in my early 60’s when I started regular clubbing. I pretty quickly hooked up with my ATF and had a kind of SB/SD relationship for almost 10 years. She moved out of state and I spent about 6 months checking out other clubs and other dancers.
I’m now in my mid 70’s and am a widower. I was in a club that was new to me and saw a dancer I’d had a 6 month fling with when my ATF had been away. She got my contact info and I hers. Within a few days she sent me a video of herself in the bathtub with a note asking if I still liked chasing girls like her.
She’s got a couple of kids, is no longer comfortable dancing, but is still a damned good looking woman. I’ve had sex with her 4 or 5 times recently but she’s 47 years younger than I, smokes weed a lot ( which is legal for us), has another “customer” who she’s known for 4 or 5 years, and has spoken of customers (plural). Now my ATF was an extras girl with a capital E on extra. One time I told her it was the best blowjob I ever had and she said, “Oh, everybody says that.”
So with a new and younger dancer I don’t expect exclusivity, but I’d like to have some idea of how much she’s spreading it around to better understand how much I should be spending and to have a better idea as to what her availability should be. Is this a fair area for me to explore? So far she came to my house once and I’ve been to her apartment 5 or 6 times, a couple of them to visit with her babies, the other times for pleasure.
We need to have a conversation about money. To this point it’s been sending her money on CashApp when she asks and about every $300 we get together. Very hit or miss and imprecise. At times I don’t want to get to a point where I’m spending every free cent on one girl, but other times it’s so much better than trying to line up a dancer for OTC. I really am struggling with this issue. And then while writing this my ATF texted me saying she’s about 75% sure that she’s moving back. Maybe I’ll just try celibacy.

6 comments

  • herbtcat
    5 years ago
    Short answer: Your money, your dick. Spend it and stick it where and when you want to.

    Longer answer: Focus on what you want, not what she "needs." It's not your place or your job to help her pay her rent, or "save" her from having to fuck other guys. She's an adult (right?) and she's going to bang as many guys as she wants to for as much money as she can if that's how she wants to live her life.

    If it comes up, tell her what you want to offer, amount, locations, length and frequency and she can either accept, reject or make a counter offer. Then go back to step 1: What do you want?
  • shadowcat
    5 years ago
    I'm not surprised that Florida did not work out and you'll be right back where you were.
  • RTP
    5 years ago
    Gawker, sometimes I cannot even believe that you are real. You seem totally pathetic. Grow a set. You clearly are looking for love in all the wrong places. Find a nice divorcee or widow and live happily ever after. None of these young hustlers are gonna make you happy. I have certainly thought with the wrong head at times also, but you are just sad.
  • Jascoi
    5 years ago
    see if she’ll take $100.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    5 years ago
    I've found almost all conversations with a provider about other customers and relationships to be entirely unproductive. It's impossible to know if they're being honest with you or even with themselves. They also seem to resent those conversations to some small or great degree. So, I don't do that anymore.

    My philosophy is that I get to pay for and care about only the time we spend together. And that's all I can negotiate for in terms of the money I'm going to spend.

    Regarding the "imprecise" and "hit-or-miss" stuff, if you want a sex worker who shows up on time, then find a decent escort. Dancers and many sugar babies are mostly unreliable. I correct for this by being pretty strict about being blown off. I have no problem with "firing" a provider. I've also found that if a girl really believes that the money will stop, then she magically becomes more reliable.

    Your ATF... I don't know, man. I'm not going to say a lot because you've heard it before. Just don't. That relationship is poison. And I'm not ignoring the reality that you care about her. It's still poison.
  • max_starr
    5 years ago
    Hey gawker, you're still going at it I see. I think if you hang around with her enough, you'll find out how often she's banging other guys....You need to set a budget with this girl weekly....and stick to it....not sure what you can handle but $1000 sure seems reasonable....$1000 for 4 days, 8 fucks whatever....nothing in stone but generally turn it into a sugar daddy deal if you can...
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