How not to offend regular dancer. If you want to try others?

46 comments

• EndlessSummer

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  4 years ago

  It's your party when you walk in the club... Take control of your experience. Just politely tell her you'd like to sample other flavors... If she has a problem with it, then you just got rid of someone you're bored with. If she doesn't, then you can go back and forth and maybe find a new appreciation for her, as well as getting the variety you crave. As I often say to guys AND girls, variety is the spice of life! If she doesn't understand that, she's in the wrong business. Enjoy as much from the menu as you like! 🔆
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  4 years ago

  Walk into the club and start talking to another dancer. If / when your regular girl approaches you, explain politely that you want to spend time with other dancers for a while. You're not her boyfriend and you're also not the first regular that she has had "defect". I'm sure that she has picked up regulars from other dancers on occasion. Chances are that it won't be a big deal.
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  I think it depends on what sort of relationship you want to have with your regular. Women pretend they don't care when it is P4P. But this does not mean that they really don't care. SJG
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  4 years ago

  ^^^ Before you take advice from this lunatic, review his previous posting history.
• rickdugan

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  4 years ago

  You don't have any control over how she reacts. You will be giving money to another girl that she was hoping and possibly expecting to get. Some girls react decently in these situations and some don't. All you can do is be polite but firm and let the chips fall where they may. The firm part is particularly important in short circuiting any manufactured drama designed to pressure you to reconsider.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  To put it bluntly - she doesn't give a fuck about you - so if you're worried "you might hurt her feelings", then you have a lot to learn about strip-clubs - 99% chance that to her you are just an income-$tream and an ea$y-mark to "keep the honey flowing". 1) does she not see other custies other than you? (that was a rhetorical-question) 2) it's your $$$ for you to spend as you see fit (not up to anyone else) - you are there for your entertainment and to be catered to, vs catering to a dancer's wishes - that is why you are paying 3) when she's not with you, you are out-of-$ight out-of-mind - you don't meant shit to her other than a mean$ to and end; so you shouldn't care too-much about how she'll feel b/c she doesn't care about you other than your steady income You need to separate strip-club bizarro-world from the real-world - she's not a GF, she provides company for $$$ - it's busine$$; not dating.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ those were just the basics in case you needed the basics (or a refresher 😊) If the issue is that other dancers won't approach you b/c it's understood "you are her property in the strip-club"; then it's up to you to be proactive and approach other dancers and ask them for their company/dances - if it's you choosing, then that is different from the "stripper code of ethics" - if a dancer says something like "aren't you X's regular", then just tell her you like being w/ different dancers and would like her company - some may still not go thru w/ it, but it won't get better by itself if you just sit on your PL-hands and let things continue as if there's nothing you can do about it (that's kinda like being a whipped S.O. except you are paying to get whipped). Get a fucking backbone and do you.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  Dancers know that many custies wanna try other girls - but they will often manipulate weak and/or inexperienced PLs to keep them in line and keep the donation$ coming - some will pout and pretend to be "hurt", but it's just an act and they are just upset they are losing out on steady busine$$. If your dancer makes a beeline for you as soon as you walk in the club as if you were the last-man-on-earth, at some point you need to man-up and let her know you want to be-with/try other dancers - trust me, she knows the deal even if she tries to manipulate you into thinking you are doing her wrong in some way - it's part of the game and most vets have been there - and 99% of the time she'll be more than glad to receive your business in the future should you decide to come back even if it's not as a regular. I'm not saying all dancers are manipulative, but manipulation is def part of the SC-game - but if you don't say anything nor do anything, why would she stop taking your $$$ on a regular basis - you are the one paying for a service thus you should set the expectations of how it will be - it's up to her if she wants to follow/accept those expectations. What kinda ninja are you.
• Huntsman

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  4 years ago

  Dugan summed it up with “You don’t have any control over how she reacts. “. Just be prepared for one of three likely reactions. First, she’s cool with it and your good. Second, she fakes a drama response to try to put you on the defensive in the hopes of extracting more money from you. Third, drama happens and it’s nit fake. She is really pissed. You don’t get to choose which reaction comes out of her but as endlesssummer points out, you’ve just rid yourself of a problem if it’s reaction 2 or 3. So spend your money as you see fit and don’t worry about the reaction. Don’t be a prick about it but any other unpleasantness beyond that is on her.
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  I think the best is just to let things escalate as far as they can and as far as you want, with the first girl. Only engage with and give money to others, right under her nose, after you are done with the first. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  ^^^^^ Lots of strip club hounds use multiple metros, for business travels. And they have an OTC girl in each metro. I think it obvious that TUSCL is of most us to business travelers. SJG
• SirLapdancealot

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  4 years ago

  I am an extreme regular and have had numerous faves over the years. I don't switch faves at the same club much, but when I do I simply follow the first posts of EndlessSummer and Ishmael. Most strippers already know it's just business if you want to move on. Don't lose sleep over it.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  "... How not to offend regular dancer. If you want to try others ...." Give her $50,000 and tell her you won't be getting dances from her for a while - she "might" let you slide
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  OP, when you say not offend, do you mean you want to keep going what you have with her? Or do you just mean not hurt her feelings. That latter I would not worry about. But if it is the former, then I would say patronize her exclusively. SJG
• Subraman

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  4 years ago

  Years ago, I was a regular at a club, and whenever I was there I saw another regular. I knew this guy was a serial CFer, monopolizing a girl for a few days or weeks, then switching to another girl (often, whoever hte new hotness was).... and then, switching back to an old girl at his whim. I talked to my then-CF about him, and she was like, "yeah, we all know he just goes from girl to girl, no big deal." That PL actually taught me a lesson -- take control, be 100% confident and what the fuck you want. He didn't sneak around, he didn't purposely go when his CF wasn't working, nothing. I put this to work and never looked back. I do tend to stick with my ATFs for a long time, but if she's just a random current fave, at some point I move on. And when I do, I just walk in, smile, big hug, "hey Mercedes, I'm going to hang out with Amber today! Great seeing you!" and then go hang out with Amber. Nothing bad ever happens. If I want to go back to Mercedes, she takes me back. After a while, I pretty much internalized it, just go with who I want. I do think the passive aggressive guys who clearly sneak around, etc., the girls know it, they know you're scared and weak, and then you're a lot more likely to get some stripper drama.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  How could I forget: @ninja - read this article by Dr Subraman (Phd in HoOlogy): [view link]
• Heellover

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  4 years ago

  You are not doing anything wrong by going with other dancers at any time. One exception to this would be if she was going into work on a night she wasn't normally there to see you (big spender prearranged meeting kind of thing ie text or previous recent visit I guess-I don't do this, but it happens).
• boomer79

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  4 years ago

  The weirdest thing was I had one dancer who would encourage me to get dances from some girls and others would obviously bother her. She was my favorite but pushed variety but mostly her friends.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ I see that as her taking care of her friends at your expen$e - kinda using you as a mark really (but - I wasn't there)
• Subraman

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  4 years ago

  -->" One exception to this would be if she was going into work on a night she wasn't normally there to see you" The appointment is sacred, it's part of the code, man. If I make an appointment with her, all my wallet are belong to her.
• Cristobal

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  4 years ago

  While visiting SC I did not have this issue because I rarely repeated to develope a CF DS but with TJ BGs it was a different story. Overall, I was direct and polite letting them know I was seeing someone else or looking for someone new, since they know the business most understood and acted like nothing happened whenever I tried to set up a meet. However, I did have one BG who made plenty of drama when she new I was seeing someone else. It is all fun but remember you are the customer, so do not worry too much about her reaction.
• skibum609

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  4 years ago

  If you're her only customer; its a problem. If you are one of many, you are entitled to many as well. No matter where, but especially in the club,, always be ready to walk away with a smile.
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  Kcninja, its really what ever you want. You spoke of wanting to "try another". I'm just saying that going after a second will undermine what you might have been building with the first. Just because it is P4P, that does not mean that women are not women. Decide what you want. Lots of strip clubs in other cities. SJG
• rickdugan

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  4 years ago

  To boil down the 500 word essay that Papi wrote on here: Any emotional attachment she has to you is feigned. If she does get dramatic, it will be because of the hit to her income and maybe the blow to her pride when you redirect your payment stream to another girl. Welcome to the world of favorites/regulars. Again, be firm and you should be fine.
• Kcninja

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  4 years ago

  Oh i know its not real. I get a lot of mileage from her. Billy Joel is a favorite of hers. So i dont want to piss her off so her choice of music changes. Its more that all the other girls avoid me because they know i see her,. They literally see me and i can hear them say, oh hes here for Noelle.
• Jascoi

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  4 years ago

  my goodness. all my girls have seen me with others.
• SirLapdancealot

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  4 years ago

  @Kcninja I am the same way in that I'm already marked as "her regular" at my regular clubs. When that happens you have to go after the other stripper you want because it's already assumed you aren't there for her. My recommendation is to simply go to her as soon as she's available and tell her that you'd like to have fun together. And also when you see your fave you have to immediately go and let her know that today you want to get dances with someone else. She won't be happy but again she most likely knows it's just business. If it's just a one off thing she's likely not going to change her mileage and if you are bored of her and want to move on it won't matter that she changes it. Just be respectful as you talk to her.
• SirLapdancealot

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  4 years ago

  ^ Also It's not a guarantee but it actually might make your fave increase her mileage because she wants to keep you as a regular.
• Nidan111

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  4 years ago

  This is why I dance with a different girl every time. I get to know all of them and they get to know me. They always treat me good because they realize that I am going to spend money on them at some point in rotation. In addition, they all give me their version of extra fun from Billy Joel to Frank Sinatra. None seem to get upset when you are up front and honest about your fun.
• rickdugan

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  4 years ago

  ===> "Oh i know its not real. I get a lot of mileage from her. Billy Joel is a favorite of hers. So i dont want to piss her off so her choice of music changes." You have no control over this either. If it's a HM club with lots of willing girls then she's probably used to guys spreading it out and it likely won't impact much. if it's a lower mileage environment and this took time to work up to then it could indeed dry up as you become less valuable to her. Only you know the club and girl in question. But IMHO you shouldn't let the potential loss of services from one girl prevent you from exploring other options. Every one of these arrangements has a shelf life. I face the same dilemma in low mileage clubs where I've developed good OTC partners. Eventually I get the itch to diversify and sometimes, though not always, this costs me OTC with an existing favorite. So be it. The alternative is to treat a girl as my club wife, which I have no interest in doing.
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  Ask her what other girls you should take to VIP. Gives her a chance to at least do a favor for a friend. Have had girl point out sure thing FS strippers to take to VIP. That's how I got to meet her sisters and cousins.
• san_jose_guy

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  4 years ago

  Start seeing your girls outside, that way is better. SJG Gimme Shelter (studio) [view link]
• loper

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  4 years ago

  Most of my regulars seem to respect me more when I sample other wares. They're interested to know, though, who I've gotten with.
• Fun_Loving_Fella

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  4 years ago

  Easiest way to not offend is to start they conversation with “No offense, but...” This can be used for any situation, not just the one mentioned in op
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ or "don't take this personally but ...."
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^^ or the time-tested "It's not you it's me"
• BocaOnt2019

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  4 years ago

  Very interesting discussion. Good topic choice. Another solution that no one seems to have talked much about - and I guess it depends on city - is visit other clubs. For example there are currently 6 clubs in my city, so if I was tired of seeing a dancer at 1 club, simply frequenting another club(s) would solve that.
• SirLapdancealot

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  4 years ago

  @Relkin Agreed. Out here in Portland that's my solution as well. I have a fave at three different clubs. And I have a handful of other clubs where I could develop more faves or just see randoms.
• Member6532

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  4 years ago

  Just go when she isnt there, try a different club? Alot of girls in KC are psycho, alot more than any other place I feel and it can get ugly from time to time, but next time you come in she is still the same money grubbing whore that forgot about the last visit. Its January no club will be busy for a few months, she cant afford to stay mad this time if the year
• skibum609

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  4 years ago

  Ask your current favorite whom else to do dances with? The whole purpose of ghetting away from a favorite is to do dances with someone YOU want. If you need suggestions, why bother.
• georgmicrodong

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  4 years ago

  I guess I've bee fortunate. The majority of the girls I've ever called "favorite" have been reasonable. I once had four favorites all working in the same club, at the same time. Ironically, the smallest club in town at that time. :) One of them came up to me one night and said, "we all talked it over, and we like each other, so we're OK with you seeing all of us." I forbore from mentioning that this was a good attitude for them to have, as anyone who wasn't OK with it wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. :)
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ what a stud 👍
• MackTruck

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  4 years ago

  "One of them came up to me one night and said, "we all talked it over, and we like each other, so we're OK with you seeing all of us."" ^^^ translation, we are all fighting over who HAS to dance for you, not who GETS to dance for you
• MackTruck

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  4 years ago

  Translation contunued... we all like each other so we are drawing straws to see who HAS to dance for you, and being very supportive of the o e who draws the short straw
• georgmicrodong

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  4 years ago

  @Papi, I wish. :)
• Fun_Loving_Fella

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  4 years ago

  "we all talked it over, and we like each other, so we're OK with you seeing all of us." This would have irritated me. I’ve been a regular of multiple girls at the same club and they all knew to leave the details up to me.