tuscl

Dumbest thing you've ever done with a stripper/custie

Monday, September 30, 2019 6:52 AM
We've all let the head downstairs make the decisions with dancers before. We'll regret it later but it's hard to think straight with a fat ass in one and some nice tits in your mouth. So guys, what's the dumbest decision you ever made with a dancer? Dancers feel free to jump in with the dumbest shit you've done with a customer I'll start off: Waiting for the club to close and taking an ATF home then proceeding to fuck her in my car in her driveway while her abusive drug dealing boyfriend slept. Wasn't the best decision but hey youth is wasted on the young.

45 comments

  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    Early-on in my PL-career in the early 2000s I tried to be a Captn-Save-A-Ho - lost thousand$ and half my sanity trying to help her get her life together - thankfully I fully-recovered from that fiasco but it was an expensive-education
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ expensive monetarily and emotionally/psychologically
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Dumbest thing had to do with fucking one in VIP. Neither of us had a condom. She said that was no problem, she was on the pill. I had never met this girl before, had no idea if she actually was on the pill, and had no idea of how many other guys she has fucked bareback that day.
  • Uprightcitizen
    •
    5 years ago
    Went OTC with a dancer after she tried to lift my watch. Definitely a stupid move to ignore the red flags.
  • samiel
    •
    5 years ago
    Prepaid for dances.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    Dumbest thing I ever did with a stripper was with half of the strippers I enjoyed in Vegas... doing anything more than a simple lap dance. dang expensive! Oh yeah... also one time I pre-paid a dancer for OTC. and she didn't show up. (that was really stupid of me.)
  • Cristobal
    •
    5 years ago
    There have been a few very dumb things, I will start off with not discussing and agreeing to what was going to happen in the VIP room BEFORE paying for the room. It led to a pretty expensive HJ and she did not even get naked.
  • wiffle shwaffle
    •
    5 years ago
    Bbbj for a few seconds (more of a teasing lick up and down) to "convince" him into buying another dance. He didn't get off and I quit the bj play because I really just didn't want to go on stage and was using that song to not do so and be skipped by the DJ. I was new then and didn't know how to finesse my way into just getting another song without doing what I did.
  • shadowcat
    •
    5 years ago
    there she asked me to wait for her. WTF. I had just planned on dropping her off. After 5 minutes she came out of the run down trailer and asked me to drive her back to the hotel. Well at least it was on the way. As soon as we got on the interstate she pulls out a bag and starts snorting coke. Yeah. I had just taken her to her drug dealer. I figured she owed me for that and told her to suck my dick. So there I was doing 65mph on I-26 with illegal drugs in the car and a stripper giving me a BBBJ. Nothing more happened but I doubt that I will ever get conned like that again.
  • rickdugan
    •
    5 years ago
    This. [view link] More specifically, not realizing far earlier into the date that she had a drug problem and then getting the fuck outta' Dodge much earlier in the night.
  • DenimChicken
    •
    5 years ago
    That thread was wild, Rick. Pre-paid for dances is something I did as a rookie mistake a good 11 years ago. Girl went to the back and never came back. Bonus round was about a month later I went to the same club and was hanging out with a girl and she insistent I meet her friend because I was "so much fun and cool". No shocker who her friend was and how she had the deer in the headlights look when she sat down and saw me. The real thing that sticks out was about 4 years ago. I met this dancer that really fit my 'type' at the time. Over the night she started to tell me she was just getting through a divorce and was dancing as just a way to make some money and figure things out. Our dances started getting elevated in contact and some extras - all driven by her. She then gives me her phone number and tells me she likes me and really could use a new friend in this time. My brilliant self never called her.
  • RandomName111
    •
    5 years ago
    Many years ago I was visiting my hometown which has some epic high mileage clubs (if you know what you are doing and have the money for it). I met this new dancer who gave me a very hot lap dance and then took her to place where the magic happened... and the magic happened, and unfortunately popped without either of us realizing it, leading to the risk of some very different magic happening. That alone is bad enough but it struck me how she wasn’t worried when she mentioned it was okay and that she knew I was a good guy and if I said I was clean I was. I made some sort of comment that “that’s a lot of trust for someone you just met” and she seemed confused for a moment and then revealed that she was someone I used to babysit and didn’t realize I didn’t recognize her at all. Thankfully she was less pissed than amused, but yeah, accidentally fucked someone I used to babysit and came in her (a lot). Thankfully she didn’t end up pregnant and neither of us got herpagonariflaids. I don’t think I went to a club for 3 or 4 years after that. I definitely felt... weird.
  • PaulDrake
    •
    5 years ago
    I just had an orgasm. Wasn't thinking clearly. My money was all mixed up and I counted it out. Set the money to give her on one leg and the remainder on the other. Then I handed her the wrong pile. I think it was $360 instead of $60. Since then I only carry 20s, 5s, and 1s. Always organized the same way.
  • SirLapdancealot
    •
    5 years ago
    @Papi LMAO now I know why you're so jaded.
  • s275ironman
    •
    5 years ago
    I once went bareback with a stripper. She didn’t have a condom and just simply said, “Just pull out before you cum”. Getting ITC extras was still fairly new for me, and since then I made sure to bring my own condom just in case I find myself in that situation again. Thankfully STD tests came back negative, and even more thankfully I don’t have a stripper baby.
  • herbtcat
    •
    5 years ago
    Every piece of sage advice I present here is based on a dumb mistake I made in the past. Sometimes more than once. Every-fucking-one! For me the question isn't "what's the dumbest" it's "are there any mistakes left I haven't made"? Paid in advance and no show - done that. Forgot to negotiate what and how much - done that. Let a "troubled, down on her luck" stripper move in with me until she's back on her feet - done that. Didn't call BS when the promised BBBJ was just a wet HJ with her long hair covering up - done that. Invited her for OTC and found her snorting coke in my bathroom - don't that. Allowed her to upcharge me $$$ for more after a 30-second fake-BJ - done that. Believed that 20-ish looking hot TJ BG would look just as good arriba when that tight bustier came off, and she was really 40+ with saggy mom-boobs - done that. Handed a $20 (or $50) to the waitress/mesero and then never getting change back - done that. Speaking of mereros - handing him a $20 expecting $18 back for a $2 tip while the chica distracts me, then he taps my on my shoulder and sheepishly shows me a $1 bill. I think I'm an idiot and hand him another $20, because I am an idiot - done that. Speaking of chicas - allowing the hot one to distract me while her fugly friend picks my pocket with the stack of hundies - done that. Asking too aggressively/too soon for extras from a new girl only to find out she went in the back room and outed me to the rest of the dancers as a creep - done that. Ignoring or failing to do at least a cursory check for fresh breath/good hygiene before agreeing to a VIP - done that. Going to the ATM in TJ and thinking my B of A debit card would work, and when it doesn't a "helpful" local tries to help and ends up palming my card and giving me a stolen, bad card - done that. Using an ATM in the club - done that. Using my credit card in the club - Hell no! I'm not a fucking idiot! :p
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    The black dives I hit, one always gets a patdown at the door - circa 2005 at a black Ft Worth,TX dive while I lived and SCed Dallas - I had $200 in $20s in my left pocket for LDs and a bit of $$$ for the cover, drink, and some tipping, in my right pocket - big black doorguy pats me down, I pay my cover, sit in the main room, get my drink, and there's a sexy dark skinned curvy ebony-dancer in the satellite-stage right in front of me - she looks at me and rubs her tongue all around her lips and turns around to show me her award-winning derriere - I tip her a few bucks while I feel on her big-ole natural firm ass (stage was only about 2-ft off the ground and she was on-all-4s mesmerizing with her big round ass - she finishes her stage-set and asks me if I wanted some dances. We go to the open LD couch dance area off in a corner of the club - I get 3 $20 LDs from her - I reach into my left pocket where I had my $200 in $20s and my pocket is empty - I freak out and start looking in the sofa and in b/w the cushions - the dancer is helping me look and in my mind I'm thinking she snatched my $200 but I have no proof - in my mind I think she's playing along helping me look for my $$$ while I'm thinking she has it but again I can't prove it - I can't find the $$$ so I just accept the loss - I use the club's ATM and take out another $200 to pay her for the 3 $20-dances - I'm not sure if she snatched it or I just lost it (fell out of my pocket at some point?) - I don't accuse her of anything and just pay her. Spent about 2-hours in the club and had a good time. The next day at home I was trying to retrace my steps of the night b/f and that is when it hit me it had been the big black doorguy whom looked shady AF that likely snatched my $$$ bc he's the only one I recalled coming inro contact with my pocket - I was wearing loose sweatpants with shallow pockets which were not much of a challenge for an experienced thieve - the visit had been on a late Fr eve around 11pm after a very long week of work and I was kinda sleep-deprived from a long stressful week and paid no attention when I was being patted-down. Two weeks later I go back to the club and I'm telling another dancer what had happened to me and how I was pretty-sure it had been the doorman - she said "oh yeah doesn't surprise me, he got fired" - I didn't enquire as to why he got fired. After that incident I watch the doorman like a hawk when I'm getting patted-down in the clubs I hit.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ I remember that shit like it was yesterday - I was pretty-pissed
  • PaulDrake
    •
    5 years ago
    @papi - sometime you should tell your white knight story! I am sure it is an interesting one.
  • rh48hr
    •
    5 years ago
    Was doing a hot and heavy VIP and the dancer asked if I wanted more. I said yes but there was no talk of what "more" entailed. Next thing I knew she grabbed my dick and I was inside her, no warning. I pulled out before cumming but the fact I didn't pull out straight away was stupid.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    rh... 😝
  • PrimetimeSchein
    •
    5 years ago
    Looks like the bareback stripper story is pretty common. Thinking with the head downstairs and oddly enough dancers seem to be into it. Maybe it's the anonymity of it
  • Longislandnightmare
    •
    5 years ago
    I met a cute stripper one night. It was slow. We sat down and had a long conversation about life. Eventually, she asked for MY number. This turned out to be my first otc experience. We went on a few dates and things seemed to be oddly normal. About a week later she calls and wanted to go out to dinner. I picked her up and she seemed drunk. We get to Applebee’s and she starts snorting Xanax off the fucking table. I was freaking out. She kept assuring me it was no big deal even though there were plenty of people staring right at us. I convinced her we needed to leave before the cops showed up. We messed around in my car for a bit and then she asked me to drop her off at a “friend’s” house. Later that night I get another call saying she had to leave that place and to drop her off at another “friend’s” house. I’m so fucking naive and empathetic that I continue to do this stuff for her in different scenarios for the next week or so. She had sent me some nudes at one point that I decided to share with a friend of mine and he recognized her. He pulled up Babylon on his phone and showed me her escort adds with the same nude photos. So, after poorly explaining all of this to you guys, the conclusion is I ended up becoming a John for a train wreck for several weeks without ever realizing it until a friend pointed it out.
  • Longislandnightmare
    •
    5 years ago
    Ohhh.. and the time I got a bed dance from a hot Scandinavian stripper. She had a baby the year prior and was still lactating. She asked if I wanted to taste her breast milk. Caught up on the moment, I said “uhhhh okay”. That’s probably the dumbest shit I ever did. In my defense she was very dominant and kept bragging about having a Viking bloodline. I mean, who wouldn’t have done that!? Haha
  • rh48hr
    •
    5 years ago
    Great stories Longisland
  • Longislandnightmare
    •
    5 years ago
    I’m not proud of that stuff but worth sharing to make someone else feel better. Lmao
  • Huntsman
    •
    5 years ago
    Years ago, I paid a dancer quite a bit in the club for dances and agreed on continuing for OTC after. I paid her in the club for the later OTC. Of course, as you could’ve guessed, she was a no show back at my hotel room.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ nah - hard to imagine something like that could happen 😊
  • samiel
    •
    5 years ago
    ^In that case, you know where she works and could see her again probably. Would you confront her?
  • gawker
    •
    5 years ago
    Where do I start? I’ve got so many incidents to choose from probably the most expensive screwup in my long white Knight career was of course with my ATF. She, her father, and her brother were all heroin addicts. She was out of control and her brother had a friend in recovery with a place on the beach in Hawaii. Next door were a couple of lesbians in recovery & he offered to help her dry out. So I went to dinner at her mother’s house, met Mom, met brother, met her son and I agreed to buy her round trip ticket. I took her to the Hilton Hotel at the airport so she’d catch her 5:30 am flight. We went to bed and she wouldn’t have sex cuz she wanted her last fuck to have been with her boyfriend. So she blew me instead. She got to Hilo, met her brother’s friend and after 24 hours called me, said the guy was s sex maniac, his place on the beach was a tent, and he was drunk half the time. “Fuck this,” she said. I’m thumbing to the airport and coming home. Then I didn’t hear from her for a week when she called and said while thumbing, a native Hawaiian guy about her age picked her up, took her to his home with 4 generations of Hawaiians living there. He drove a forklift for Frito lay 25 or 30 hours a week. Then spear fishing, surfing, a little weed, ATV’s on the beach - put paradise & could you front me $200? I’ll pay you back with sex when I get home. Long story short - over the next month, I kept supporting her, she left paradise & met a kid from California who couldn’t leave the island cuz of outstanding warrants. They moved into a rooming house (together, I later learned) and she got a fast food job, but needed transportation.She called & said there was a $1500 motor bike she could get for $500 cuz the owner was going back to the mainland in the morning. So I Western Unioned her $500. After 3 months she came home with me having pre-paid $7000. At most I collected $2000 of that. That woman had me wrapped around her finger and it took years for me to see the folly of it.
  • gawker
    •
    5 years ago
    Oh, and when she started for her first day of work on the motor bike, she cut off a car, got tapped, went over, broke her ankle and the police recovered the stolen motor bike. She never worked, finally came home but required 3 ticket changes costing me $300.
  • wallanon
    •
    5 years ago
    "She asked if I wanted to taste her breast milk. Caught up on the moment, I said “uhhhh okay”. At least you had a choice. I usually find out by accident.
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    mmmmm..... her breast milk... 🤪
  • Longislandnightmare
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^ She straddled me and literally squirted her boob in my mouth. In moment, drunk me was like this is soooo hot. The next morning I said “What the Fuckkkk” about 500 times. Ughh..
  • PrimetimeSchein
    •
    5 years ago
    These are awesome keep them coming
  • Book Guy
    •
    5 years ago
    As a college-aged kid, got pick-pocketed in Amsterdam by window-girl's assistant while doing her. Then went back to her for a second night. And got pick-pocketed again. Genius! Drank almost an entire Fifth sized bottle of Jaegermeister on my own over the course of about four hours one evening, at (IIRC ...) Pink Pony in Memphis during its heyday (early 2000s, maybe 2004 or so?). That part wasn't SO dumb, though it wasn't very smart. Then, here's the dumb part: tried to drive myself back to the hotel. Drunk driving. Stupidest thing in the world. After the Jaeger Fifth, driving home, I feel asleep at the wheel, later woke up behind the wheel of my car when I heard the squealing of my tires as I spun out during a (probably) 360 or more degree spin. The car came to a stop facing the wrong way, at the curb-lane, on a generally abandoned six-lane suburban "major road" near the airport. Got out of the car, vomited all over it and myself and the curb and the road and myself some more, walked away from my car, slept in someone's nearby yard up against a tree, was awakened by a dog-walker yelling at me ("get the fuck up you loser!") at dawn, walked back to my car to find ... the door open, the lights on, the engine idling, the key in the ignition. Parked it. Thumbed a cab. Have never drunk Jaegermeister since. Yeah dumb. Should be dead, thank you very much. Dumb dumb dumb dumb ...
  • Jascoi
    •
    5 years ago
    but you survived for another day.
  • Book Guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Yes, boy what a headache I had that day. Not really something I did "with" a stripper, but it all stemmed from the strip-clubbing I did on that night, so I think it counts for this thread. Really liked the comment above by Herbtcat, done that done that done that but used a credit card at a strip club? HELL NO I AIN'T DUMB ... lol :)
  • Hank Moody
    •
    5 years ago
    Mine are boring. Besides being dumb. Prepaid for an OTC at CH3 in Vegas and had to use my credit card for funny money to do it. Got ghosted. Had a girl convince me at PH that because I had her stop a BJ twice I owed her for 3, then used my credit card to get enough cash to pay her. Yuck. Didn’t realize that a girl at CH3 during a pretty hot makeout and extras session on the main floor was COVERING my neck in hickeys. Thank god I had a business trip that week and didn’t have to go home until they faded. Had a girl at players in Baltimore tell me she wanted to fuck me. Thought she was kidding and didn’t follow up. Saw her three months later and she said “I haven’t seen you since that night I wanted to fuck you.” I tried to recover but she said the moment had passed.
  • Hank Moody
    •
    5 years ago
    ‘PH’ is penthouse Detroit.
  • Phandy
    •
    5 years ago
    Letting 2 live in my house. Was super fun until some dudes smashed their car window in my driveway and then while on a work trip they stole my car. Tracked them down, got it back but a very long story I will happily tell over beers someday.
  • PrimetimeSchein
    •
    5 years ago
    I look forward to that Phandy
  • Oliver_Clothesoff_66
    •
    5 years ago
    Many years ago I fell for the "I get my tip in advance" line at a club with pre-paid dances. So I was already out $250 with nothing to show for it.
  • loper
    •
    5 years ago
    I too drank stripper milk when offered. Guess I didn't realize the risk. Has anyone done that and gotten anything?
  • PrimetimeSchein
    •
    5 years ago
    You can catch a disease from breast milk?
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