New definition of hell:

herbtcat
Cool Cat in the Valley
Walking into a club when you haven’t been there for over a year.

Then having a dancer come up to you and start flirting with you because she thinks you got a dance with her last time you were there - but she’s really not hot enough for you to want to dance with - and she stays at the bar with you anyway because she thinks you’re funny.

After a while she tries to guess your name - and nails it. And then you both suddenly remember that you fucked her two years ago at your place after you met her using a different name at a different club where she asked you to take her to lunch and fuck her just because.

And after you fucked her you put her on ignore you until she stopped texting you 4 months later because you really weren’t into her in the first place.

So you both laugh and you make up an excuse for not talking to her and she asks you to buy her a shot at the bar. And you do, but you really just want to chew off your dick and/or wallet just to let you get away from her long enough to leave and drive home.

But before you can get away she tells you she wants to go to your place and give you a "wet, sloppy, deepthroat blowjob and swallow all your cum" so you won't forget her again. She asks for $200, you balk. She say's "Ok, $150". You defer. She says "I don't need any cash, just cock."

So you meet her in her civvies across the street at a gas station and take her home. She disappears in the bathroom for 15 minutes, comes out and as she starts to deliver, she insists you push her head down hard and call her Daddies' Little Whore until you splooge. She's a NSNQ kind of girl and as she takes down the last drop, she asks if you want a bump of coke, since she didn't finish her stash in your john. WTF?

So....no you don't want a bump. You watch her dress, driver her back to the club and after you drive away you text her and tell her you can't deal with her powder issue and ask her not to talk to you again.

Welcome to Hell.

22 comments

  • doctorevil
    5 years ago
    Great story. I guess you won’t be going back to that club for a while.
  • GoVikings
    5 years ago
    What does NSNQ stand for?
  • TxVegas
    5 years ago
    GoVikings
    No spit no quit
  • twentyfive
    5 years ago
    Cool story bro
  • rickdugan
    5 years ago
    Self made hell for sure, which was a direct result of your various weaknesses. If not for your initial fear of confrontation and then your capitulation in taking a girl OTC that you weren't really all that interested in, then you wouldn't have been in that situation.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    5 years ago
    NSNQ... 'no strings; no questions' is what I've heard. Both could be valid.

    It not really hell if you do it to yourself. My opinion, of course.
  • Lovelyeast
    5 years ago
    How is this hell? Send me pic of how you look so I can determine who it was actually hell for. Lol
  • flagooner
    5 years ago
    This thread is in the lead for "Humble Brag Of The Year"
  • Icey
    5 years ago
    She's a hooker you saw before.... she's not really upset, she's just trying to create banter and pretend like there's a human connection so you pay her again. You should just tell her to go away that you're not interested in hiring her again... Its not a big deal, its just a sales pitch she's giving you.
  • Cristobal
    5 years ago
    If that is the OP's definitivo of hell, what is his definitivo of heaven?

    While not a perfect time, doesn't sound like hell to me.

    By definition, a hellish experience should involve some suffering.
  • TheeOSU
    5 years ago
    A nicely written story but whether it's hellish or not is up for debate. Either way you let it happen and did it to yourself so just deal with it.
  • Jascoi
    5 years ago
    hell would be getting teased to the point of blue balls with no release.
  • herbtcat
    5 years ago
    Please note I do not claim that anyone other than me is responsible for my actions or this situation.

    And it's not a brag; I have dozens of better stories to brag about! (Ok, THAT sounded like a brag. :p )

    Heaven would have been found if she was a 19 year old Asian spinner who does not snort coke and who had a horny, bi, friend (or sister!) who insisted on joining the fun.

    I have already been back to that club. She was there but fortunately, she ignored me.

    Finally, I fully admit my weaknesses. Fortunately, some of those weaknesses often lead to DT BJ's at a generally reasonable cost, like it did yesterday at the club where I originally met the subject of my story.
  • Lovelyeast
    5 years ago
    So while she was gagging on your dick you was thinking that this is what fiery hell must feel like. I’m so confused. You’re a bit dramatic. Like, did you hold yourself and cry in the shower later.
  • MackTruck
    5 years ago
    ^^^^^^^lmao 😂😂😂😂
  • herbtcat
    5 years ago
    LOL @Bharlem81

    The initial hell was realizing I'm am asshole for not remembering a woman I fucked. (Not that there aren't many others aspects of my life that make me an asshole...)

    The final hell was realizing WHY I didn't want to remember.

    And to be fair, I wouldn't say she was "gagging". I have a fairly big ego, and an even bigger wallet. But... let's just say she had some unused capacity, but not too much. :p
  • Icey
    5 years ago
    Paying a hooker is nothing brag worthy... she'll take anyone's money lol

    But its stupid, you could have just sent her away. No point in talking to someone you don't want to talk to. Especially when its just a business transaction.
  • flagooner
    5 years ago
    It didn't sound like he paid for anything. Did you read the OP?
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    Great story!
  • Jascoi
    5 years ago
    hey. forgetting a previous fuck ain’t all that weird. i was balls deep in a hk girl before i realized that i had her before. (bareback.)... it happens.
  • gammanu95
    5 years ago
    Hell would have been her sandbagging you at the gas station with your 2-year old son. Hell is coming when she has the cover girl serve you with a summons for child support the next time you go tonthat club. Or, since she's been to your place twice, she can just send the process server straight to your front door.
  • herbtcat
    5 years ago
    @gammanu95 LOL!

    Can't argue with that! Fortunately, I have total confidence that if she did have (another) kid, it would not be mine. And I have my local DNA lab on speed dial, too.
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