Quickest Visit?

My fastest overall visit was to an ESL club where I cruised the floor once, saw nobody I wanted to spend time with, and left in a total of probably two minutes.

My fastest "good" overall visit was, strangely enough, to the same club. I paid my cover, walked two steps, and was accosted by a dancer who said, "Can I molest you?" I had had "dances" with this girl before, so I knew what this meant. We then went to the private area where she gave me a BBBJ. I pulled my clothes back together, and left by the same route I had entered about ten minutes earlier. No drink, no sitting at the bar bs-ing with the bartender, etc....Objective identified...objective sighted....objectuve accomplished--back to work.

It's not how I want every strip club visit to be, but it fit in well with my plans for that day.

I've gotten up and strode right straight out of some higher-pressure places several times. Especially when I ASK the girl, "Hey, just a minute, I'm doing fine alone right now" and yet SHE DOESN'T LEAVE. Generally that's when I say, "Fuck you" to her and let her manager know in no uncertain terms why I'm leaving. What are they gonna do, kick me out? It's nearly always because the girl is drunk / sticking her hands in my pockets / stealing my change from the bouncer or bartender because it's "fun" to tip someone with it. Fuck that shit. Goodbye.

Some guys like the adventure of finding new clubs in unfamiliar cities but I prefer sure bets.

About 7 or 8 years while I was in Providence on a business trip, I entered the first downtown club I saw. There was no one on stage and only two fuglies sitting at the bar. I ordered a drink, but was out of there before I finished it....less than 10 minutes.

At least then, Providence was a strange town for clubs. Within a few blocks, I found a bikini club, a topless club, and a nude club. I didn't understand the local ordinances.

I think the shortest visit ever was about 5 minutes, to a club in the Des Moines area. I was there, got a soda, the next minute they announced last call, even though it was early, drank my soda and left. That probably served me to remember that Mondays just suck. The shortest good visit to a club was about 20 minutes. I got to see my ATF right before she was ready to go. We got our dance, it was great as usual, she showed me her kitty, which was illegal there, and had a grand old time in 20 minutes or so.

I've entered a club and left in under a minute many times. If that doesn't qualify, pick any duration and I've probably done it - two min., three, four, etc. And an East St. Louis dive is probably where it happened.

I've posted before about my quickest good visit. About 10 years ago in San Francisco, I took a break from the Chez Paree to dash over to the Market Street Cinema with friends and catch a featurea act. I worked a dildo on her with my teeth to the applause of the assembled crowd and got a wall dance with a hot young thing on my way out, all within about 15-20 minutes' time.

My quickest was probably in a tiny dump in rural NY state. I went in, ordered a beer, said hello to an average looking dancer at the bar, aksed her if they had private dances, she said yes but she didn't do them I had do talk to the other girl, who then appeared onstage and immediately quoted me the price for every service possible. If she had been 20 years younger and had a few more teeth I might have continued the conversation but instead I left, total time about 10 minutes.

One other brief visit was actually one of my best. Nice place in rural PA in the Poconos, as soon as I walked throuth the door a girl grabbed my arm and said nobody has started watching the cameras yet (they had just pened) and if we went in back right away we could have fun, which we did and we did. About 20 minutes later I left, both me and my wallet exhausted.

Shortest Bad Visit - 10 minutes. I've tried to give my visits at least a little time before abandoning ship. I arrive in a club, sit down, order a beer. While waiting for the beer I take an inventory of the girls that I'm interested in. I also note how long it takes for my beer to be delivered. I've devised a little formula that I like to apply in making my go/stay decision. Incidentally, I devised my formula while NOT enjoying myself during a particularly bad club visit about three years ago.

([price of beer] + [beer delivery time]) < ([number of girls I'm hot for] + [avg. quality of talent level])

For example, a beer costs $4.50, it took 6 minutes to get my beer. I found 4 girls that I was interested in spending time with, and the avg "hotness" of the girls working was 7. (4.5 + 6 = 10.5) which is less than (4 + 7 = 11)... which means I am staying. If the first part is greater than the second part of the equation than I am leaving. Of course, if there are 1 or 2 girls that I can't live without playing with, I throw out my formula.

Shortest Good Visit - 45 minutes. I'm rarely satisfied with a short visit, though.

BookGuy, I am so in agreement with no one should touch your money, or feel they have the right to grab at pockets or wallets..I have worked with girls who are like this and find it just low class and disrespectful to someone..It would cause me to leave immediately..

I travel a lot, and I also check out new sc's in each new city. Ive become pretty good about figuring if I'll stay.

Worst I was in Philly, at a local club. Centerfolds I think. Saw a couple of heffers. Had to wait a while for my drink, and my feet stuck on the floor. Nothing happening, so I was out. Didn't even have to finish.

Never had a best quick leave.

I like Doug's rationale, but way too analytical. You must be an algebra teacher in real life!

Maybeenuf4u: Sorry, my formula was meant as "tongue in cheek". It was a futile attempt at off-beat humor... sorry.

Quickest (BAD) Visit? 10 minutes at an unfamiliar club during a road trip. Went in, order my longneck, looked around, departed drinking maybe 3 gulps. Fugly dancers if any at all!

Quickest (GOOD) Visit? Probably 30 minutes in a familiar club. Either ATF or REGULAR dancer was there greeting me at the front door, groping Mr Happy and the family jewels. She knew I was enroute & had my longneck ready. Went straight back to the wall couches (with the club completely empty) and...... the rest was history! :-)~