I wanna create a Crappiness Score for Strip Clubs. Throw in here stuff you don't like in a strip cub.
I'll start
Stinky sperm on seats
Poor selection of talent. Really, why else do we go?
Ugly women ?
Overbearing bouncers enforcing a no touch rule
DJ that won't shut up
ugly women or sub-par talent is a major fail. Assume dancers are decent (A-team, B-team, etc).
What petty annoyances - when they start adding up - can make you delete a club off your list.
Dancers sitting at a corner table texting on their phones
Ladies who sit with their regs and don’t mingle Cell phones on the floor Overly aggressive cocktail waitresses Nosy bouncers - I get it this isn’t an extras club you don’t have to peek on us every two minutes Clubs with low hiring standards - why is joe dirts hulkish cousin working here? Glitter Too many thugs No napkins in the VIP
Pistola in the club
^^ ;-)
"No napkins in the VIP"
+1
Cameras in VIP MALE bartender Dirty bathroom Dancers younger than 21; i like having drinks with dancers Room troll (aka bouncer at the door) Male patting me down; I generally pay the bouncer $5 to allow me to pay a dancer $10 to pay me down. Weak drinks. No touch rules. GPS Dancers.
and my fucking biggest peve. The fucking Sound system. turned up so fucking loud. especially the fucking bass.
License scan, lazy bartenders/waitresses, have to buy a bracelet, 2 for 1 specials that aren't 2 for 1, a dance is $20 but if you want to touch me it's $30. You came? that's $100 more, ugly girls that won't leave you alone.
Lack of diversity - zero black-chicks - or they are all skinny with implants
that’s a good one Chulo. A really good one.
Pay structures that don’t provide good comp and incentive to hustle for the dancers and/or don’t provide good value to the customers. Basically, the club taking so much of the cash that the dancers and customers both hate it.
I’ve never seen a male bartender in a strip club - that would be lame. Eye candy female bartenders are good for club vibe
@loper, you’ve really heard a stripper attempt to assess a $100 cumming surcharge? That’s a novel strippe approach, I wonder how many dumbass PLs have actually paid the surcharge.
ID scan is my biggest pet peeve.
Others have made good calls as well. Bracelets No touch rules
#3 is the only one on your list that annoys me. It gets annoying always seeing everyone except the actual dancers flying in front of my line of sight every minute. I can look at dancers all night, but get sick of looking at the waitresses and bouncers, some of whom hang around like a bad habit.
I also don’t like:
Dancers who are obnoxious on purpose. Like some of them just act out their nasty habits on full display and don’t even try to show class. Some guys don’t care, but I prefer women who act like they have some maturity.
Dancers who dance when they’re not on stage or giving a lap dance. You know who they are? They are always flailing their arms and swinging their hips in the middle of the club trying to be the center of attention because no one actually wants to get a dance from them.
Waitresses who never wait on anyone. I’ve seen full houses where waitresses just stand in a corner looking stupid or circle the entire club looking at tables of low or empty glasses and bottles.
Uncleanliness. Seen tables with spillage or crumbs on them never getting cleaned off all night. Maybe the waitresses could do THAT while they’re busy not serving customers.
Customers who act like they own the club. Loud, disgusting, too mobile, always in my line of sight because they can’t be still for 5 seconds and have to show the entire club they are really important and entertaining.
Anything which interferes with Front Room Makeout sessions.
Those makeout sessions are how you get a girl softened up and opened up. So with that, everything will work out.
So the rest of the posted complaints are irrelevant.
SJG
Stones, Gimme Shelter, Atlantic City 1989, early Lisa Fischer youtube.com
Wicked Lady youtube.com
Id scan is an absolute deal breaker. I will walk away. Dance bracelets are stupid, just raise the cover. No dancer is going to approach the guy without a bracelet. Allowing smoking without adequate ventilation. A personal pet peeve is smoke machines coming up from the stage floor. Obscuring the dancers is supposed to enhance the experience? Getting one dollar bills at a strip club should be quick and easy. Don't make me stand at a bar for 5 - 10 minutes. Don't give me $2 bills. I am not interested in buying your "club bucks".
Way past their prime dancers using the intimidation or mercy hustle to make a little money. I'll never understand why a club allows them to work.
^^^^^^ they set the example of going the extra distance. They are very important.
SJG
Tip parade
I wanna relax and not be having to tip a girl every 2-minutes even if I don't like her - you have ro either tip, or be having to shake your head no all night long and have them give you a dirty-look or insult you for not tipping them - it's especially bad in busy clubs with a tip-parade - in some Miami clubs you can have 4 or 5 girls approaching you for a tip in the course of one song bc many of the dancers milk the tip-parade and circulate the club all night long asking for tips (instead of just when they get off stage) - with so many inexperienced SCers that can't say no and not tip it means you not tipping is the "asshole" - and it seems the more you can't say no and tip the more you get hit-up - after an hour or so of you saying no eventually most of them just bypass you and don't come asking.
I have clubbed for a long time and have never seen a male bartender. I feel sorry for anyone who witneses this on a regular. At the clubs I go to the bartenders are usually retired dancers or dancers who only dance one day a week.
My list is *Past thier prime shot girls. They look at least 50 and want you to tip them *Clingers, especially the girls who cling extra hard when they notice you have an eye on another girl. I recently had a dancer eye fuck and pout in my direction while I was receiving an intense bar grind. It was kind of hot knowing she was jealous *Drink minimum when most customers are only there for extras *Clubs where dancers prefer to post enticing instagram videos to get people to visit instead of actually interacting with people in the bar.
Decline to State, I didn't even do it. I told her I had to stop because I would if I didn't, and all her stripper ears heard were "cum" and she immediately said that I owed her a hundred. Obviously I didn't pay.
$8 for required valet parking, $20 charge to sit at booth, required coat check, $12 drinks, $20 fee every time you do dances. Starting to sound like flight club!
If the talent is hot and the value is there, I don't care if the bartender has a penis.
Overall, talent trumps all but all things being equal, I dislike:
Extreme drink hustle Too much time between dancers on the stage Not enough dancers
Dancer drink hustle where dancers pester custies for drinks bc they get a cut
Girls that overpromise and underdeliver.
ID scan is a dealbreaker for me also. Only been denied entry once when ID scan demanded by door guy. A few times, slipping guy a $5 to look at ID but not scan it has worked.
—>@loper: "I told her I had to stop because I would if I didn't, and all her stripper ears heard were "cum" and she immediately said that I owed her a hundred.“
Was at a club this week getting some high friction dances from a new girl, and at dance #8 I was about to pop and wasn’t covered (I don’t like LDK in pants), and told her slow down a bit or I’m gonna pop. She then exclaimed “Baseball!,” “Double play!” and other sports terms - that cracked me up and so I played along and exclaimed a few sports terms of my own, and she said ya I used to do that to my boyfriend when we were fucking and I wanted him to continue riding me cuz I wasn’t done yet. Then she said I don’t mind if you cum it’s what you’re here for anyway so enjoy yourself.
The top two for me are ID scan and tip parade. I frequented a place with ID scan while I was in PA, but that place was pretty much the only game in town with what it offered...mainly, showing UFC fights. Places like BWW showed them, but charged the same cover so it made more sense to just go to the SC. I wouldn't go to a place with a scan again. Re: tip parade, that's why I won't go to any club in Miami other than Dean's or Tootsies. Most Miami clubs have girls I like, too. Oh well.
The drink hustle has only happened to me at Follies, although it hasn't been a problem the last few times I've gone.
The one thing I'll mention that I don't think anyone said is lack of seating at places other than the stage and/or bar. Black clubs tend to be most guilty of this...looking at you, Mint and Trap...but smaller mixed clubs have that problem too.
Everything else is specific to employees, as opposed to being club issues.
^ Any strip club that has you in it is gonna be crappy, fortunately you've never gone to a strip club.
^ sure you are I bet you’re as popular as chlamydia
Hate when the club tries to interject their way into negotiations between you and a dancer (such as VIP drinks).
If either SJG or IceyLoco was a patron in the club, that automatically makes it crappy.
When the club has dancers who think they are there to dance.
I want a club with whores who don’t care to pretend they are anything more...
decline to state, lol.
@meat72
SJG doesn't visit SCs or TJ, no worries about his presence making it crappy.
I'm not sure about IC but it sounds like he might visit SCs occasionally... Lol
no shitter paper
more ...