How do you know you’re becoming a RIL before it’s too late?

Is this your first fav or long term fav?

Even if you have feelings it isn't a big problem if you don't let it affect your spending.

Past that as a rule never spend money to try and buy love, friendship, affirmation or acceptance.

Boring Loser is in love with tittyfag

If you have to beg to pay for pussy, you're probably an RIL.

Strip clubbing is about enjoying oneself - if you enjoy yourself w/ her then no-harm no-foul as long as you see it and are aware of it for what it is

Just keep your wits about you and don’t fall down that hole. She might try to play your ass or string you along watch for that. Otherwise just have fun with that, I always got to watch for this shit too because I also get hooked on certain girls.

Read Gawker's stories and get scared straight.

RIL?

RIL = regular in love

Here's the TUSCL glossary:

tuscl.net

I haven't been a RIL in many many years. But:

"I look forward to clubbing specially because I’ll get to see her." ==> Same with my CF. In fact, I even make appointments with her to make 100% sure I'll get to see her.

" I get dances from other girls but" ==> I'll stop you right there. I don't get dances with any other girls when my CF is there. Why should I? I don't enjoy them as much, rather spend my $$$ where I'll get the most enjoyment.

"She’s done a few things that would have made me mad if she were a civie. I still go back. I just enjoy the ss. " ==> Okay, here we might part ways a bit, depending on what those "few things" are. If what's making you mad is run of the mill stripper flakiness and hustle, well, that's just part for the course. But beyond that, if it makes me feel disrespected, I'm bringing it up or moving on...

"Sometimes I feel like going out isn’t worth it if she’s not there but other times I have a blast with all the other girls." ==> Once I have a good CF, I'll typically try to only go when we have an appointment. She's my CF specifically because I have so much more fun with her than with any or all the other girls, and why should I blow this week's SC budget on less than an amazing time?

Anyway, the point is, I'm even more focused on a single stripper than you are, and nowhere near RIL territory ... I mean, I can't even see RIL territory from here. IMO, seeking out the girl who gives you the best time doesn't mean you're a RIL. Developing feelings is what makes you a RIL

@Subraman developing the wrong type of feelings it’s ok to have feelings just don’t allow those feelings to overwhelm your common sense.

Do you attempt to monopolize her entire shift, and attempt to tell her she can’t give dances to other customers? Despite only offering a low amount of money that day? And despite the fact she comes right back to you after she’s done?

^ good points.

Generally you don't realize it has happened until you are one.

I've been down this road once.....but I knew her before she became a stripper. Not that it matters in the end.

In a club if you keep in mind the main reason she is there is to make money and not to be your companion it keeps things in perspective. I've had dancers ask me if it is okay if they take the stage...or if they can go say hi to someone. I appreciate they asked but really they don't need to. If you come in my office and I get a client call I am going to excuse myself and take the call.......in reality that is all she is doing.....except with less clothing.

You become emotionally attached. You're spending more than your allowed budget. You start trying to get shit for free bc you think she likes you as much as you like her and fail to understand it's part of the sale. I can go on...

Basically, you lose sight of what the SC experience is and isn't.

-->"@Subraman developing the wrong type of feelings it’s ok to have feelings just don’t allow those feelings to overwhelm your common sense."

Agree... the thing is, people are different, and I do all those things I described without getting overly-attached, or even worrying about getting overly attached. If I came to tuscl to write a thread about it, that might be an indication that some small voice is telling me I'm getting overly-attached

^ you may be onto something there, if you’re writing a thread about it it’s prolly a good idea to step away.

It's natural to develop feelings, it's what you do with those feelings which is important.

When I start suspecting if I have feelings I simply try spending time with someone else, that usually cures the problem.

If you’re not going to strip club to jizz your pants or to locate hookers then why are you going there? A beloved stripper isn’t really a great way to fill the emptiness in your life but it’s a way and something, anything is probably better than nothing. Enjoy it, make the best of it or find other interests to pursue. Good luck.

If you're looking to fill that emotional void, a puppy could fill your life with warmth and happiness. Less expensive and more reliable than a stripper, too.

Another sure sign: If you're paying $1000 per meet, you've divorced your wife, and you write 5000-word erotic literature about her online, you've probably RIL.

TUSCL axiom:

"A strip club is not a girlfriend supermarket"

If a dancer treats you so wonderfully that you develop feelings for her and believe she has feelings for you, you need to understand that the only truith is that she is imply better at her job than you are used to. Everyone is a sucka at one point or another, but as long as you're not a money sucka its all good.

I don’t make arrangements to see her. We made plans once but she flaked, so I decided I’m gonna just do my thing and if I see her I see her.

If she gets to me as soon as I get there she’ll get all my money really quickly. Otherwise I’ll spend it here and there until she gets to me. There have been times that I’ve left without seeing her even though she was there.

When I do see her I don’t try to take up her whole shift, but she’ll will stick with me until I’m done spending on her.

So I guess I don’t have the possessive traits of a RIL, and she doesn’t get me to break my budget - just spend it quicker than I planned.

She does a good job of making me think she’s jealous of the other girls etc. Except that I frequently notice that she’s not really paying close attention to our conversation.

Despite all this I find myself thinking about her when I’m not at the club. This doesn’t happen with the other girls I’m a regular with. There you have it. That’s why I’m concerned about my RIL status.

Reverse the game spend some time and money on another girl it sounds to me like you’re allowed her to findon you.

BoringLoser said "She does a good job of making me think she’s jealous of the other girls etc."

She's not jealous, but territorial, rather.

"Except that I frequently notice that she’s not really paying close attention to our conversation."

Then she's sorta good at her job, but not very good at her job. If she was very good at her job, then she'd make you believe that she's hanging on every word.

Even if it's all bullshit.

She sounds like a special girl and it’s time to take her OTC. No games, no findon. Close the deal.

@25 "^ good points."

Were you referring to @nicespice's comment or her nipples?

^ both

So long as you don't consider spending 2 months wages on her in one swoop you're doing okay.

@25, did you mean findom like financial domination? Idk much about that but I don’t think so bc she doesn’t humiliate me or anything. There are at least 5 girls I regularly spend time with. She’s kinda tied with another girl for CF status and one of my backups is trying to get in the competition too. I even go to other clubs from time to time.

Yet she’s the one that gets stuck in my brain.

I’ve never done OTC, but I think if I did she would have me 100% hooked and you all would be calling me gawker jr by the end of the month.

Being an RIL is kinda like having a drinking problem.

If you think you might be one, there is a strong likelihood that you are. Most don't recognize that they are one, it often takes someone else to bring it to your attention. It is okay to be one so long as you are aware of it and can maintain control, not allowing it to cause you harm. If it reaches the level where you do lose control it is best to separate yourself from the object of your affection entirely lest you slip back to your pathetic condition.

Strip clubs are such bizrro-world that many PLs often blind themselves to the obvious and only learn their lesson after being burned (although that also applies to other non-SC things)

flagooner’s last bit of observations and advice are spot on

@BL if you conserve your money just on account of her or blow through it quick when you’re with her she not you is regulating how your cash is spent, so maybe there’s not an element of sexual thrill, but you are letting her control your behavior I just don’t think that’s very wise on your part, as the consumer of her services you should be determining the outcome not her, that’s also a form of findom.

^ yeah get a spine (or a fashionable backbace)

^you're just jealous of my sense of style ;)

:)

I knew I needed to ask for advice but didn’t really know why. I see a lot more of the picture now.

You're becoming a RIL and a PL if you keep coming back to see the girl, but always only in the club.

If you make a definite attempt to see her outside, then you are not a RIL or a PL. Either she will accept without too many other hurdles, and then the relationship will do what it is going to do, or she will refuse. You have called her out.

Most of the time, if not otherwise attached, the girl will whole heartedly accept.

If you are seeing her ITC only, why? If it is because there are problems in your outside life, and so you keep going to the strip club, then you are a PL, and you will become a RIL.

SJG

Jean Brady, James P. Johnson My Mellow Man youtube.com

There are always other strippers in the sea. Lots of them. I switched clubs I went to, went different times etc. met new girls etc

Best advice I received from a dancer:

Fall in love in the club and fall out of it when you leave.

-->"Fall in love in the club and fall out of it when you leave."

Heh, that's actually pretty good, "love" is perhaps a bit too strong a word lol, but I neither want to be a RIL, or one of those guys who basically feels nothing but sexual objectification towards my CF. I sexually objectify all my strippers, of course, but if she's a CF I enjoy her company beyond the sexual objectification; just not looking for that enjoyment to extend into romantic feelings.

@subraman

I agree "love" is too strong a word but the idea is correct, leave the feelings at the club because it's just a fantasy there.

Pick the girl you want and then get her OTC ASAP. That way you will not be a RIL or a PL.

But probably you will be kept busy with drama.

SJG

Does it have to be a girl SJG?

^ Homo

Typical flagooner, always jumping to conclusions

^LOL

@ BoringLoser

“It’s Never Too Late or Too Soon to Ask for Help”

To answer your question:

“How do you know you’re becoming a RIL before it’s too late?”

Nobody knows, is like the people that start doing drugs and think they can handle it and not become an addict.

And the people that drink and don’t realize when they are too drunk.

But if you are asking in this site, IMHO it is too late, you are already a RIL.

Like any addiction the first step is to recognize that you have a “Problem” and take conscious actions to get out of the situation.

In most cases it is the feelings and emotions that cause issues, like most here have mentioned if you see it as a business transition it is a good approach to not getting emotionally attached.

“Love addicts often pick partners who are emotionally unavailable because deep down, they don’t feel worthy of having a healthy, loving relationship.”

^ You are an ass hole

I can cut amd paste tag lines

If you keep seeing a girl ITC only, instead of taking her home with you and fucking her brains out, then you are a RIL.

SJG