What percentage of PLs do you think are married family men?
theDirkDiggler
Illinois
Why would a happily married man (or in a happy relationship) go to a strip club? I know there are a couple here. Skibum and Sirlapdancealot, but the first i believe might be in an open relationship, and the second i think might not be at his favorable frequency or something and needs something extra, npi. And the last i heard of him, he had retired from SCing so there's that. Are all the others basically just "cheaters" if extras are involved, and something a bit lighter if they aren't? In the few discussions i've seen relating to this somewhat, i've seen largely if not mostly negative views on marriage/relationships.
So no, i don't think there are too many PLs in the "happily attached" category. Yet there are quite a few that are married or in relationships. And if they have kids too, it just makes it all the harder to do this hobby or do it "right". You have to find time away from family without drawing suspicion as well as all the sneaking/lying, and hide the missing funds as well, funds that might already be very tight. I personally don't think this is the demographic (yet a very large demographic) that could really support SCs in this day and age, if ever. But you never know...
Now as a straight single red-blooded male, i am obdurately impenitent about this hobby. But the longer i do this, i tend to see monogamy as an illusion or a state of mind (i could probably write an entire article about that). So in a sense i may have answered my own question, or one of them anyway. Men do this (and cheating) because they can and often without real consequence. Simple as that.
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Interesting you brought up SirLap. He was always quick to bring up how awesome his wife is and how good the marriage was until his final thread.
He was an individual whose MO was LDKs, and I got the impression he did that as a loophole to cheating. At one point,he talked about a CF offering OTC. But he didn’t want to meet because of a slippery slope that led to FS.
But either way, the frequency of his visits were still became problem and he left the board to work on his marriage. Though searching his profile, it looks like he has logged on recently enough.
Source: https://www.tuscl.net/app/discussion.php…
I miss his posts here.
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a marriage counselor would be a better investment. or cosmetic procedures/surgery for the wife
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I remember one weekend a couple came in and I gave dances for both of them. Both were really enjoyable and fun.
A week later. I recognized him in the club again and said hi and asked how (insert wife name here) was doing. He said well. There wasn’t anything indicated that showed any problems.
We got a couple dances, then he had to leave to go to another club with somebody. But wanted to come back. So he left the club and came back a couple hours later. And we got a cabana. Which I didn’t sell, but he decided he wanted. (The prices for one of those in my area will range from a little under a grand up to $1500 btw)
And towards the end, he told me “if you were mine, you wouldn’t have to be here”...lol
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I mentioned my story to explain:
1. Some men use SC/etc because of a void. But also many would go nonetheless because of love of variety and there isn’t much wrong.
2. Men have biological wiring that makes them wish to “have” more than one woman, who is monogamous only to him. It doesn’t work out for most of them, but that is the MO
I’ve heard it described as the difference between men and women is much simpler than many of y’all make it out to be
Women usually look for one man to solve all of their problems
Men look for all women to solve their one problem.
Now there's a whole category of people that are "stuck" (again, maybe because of kids or no prenup) or "bored" and need this outlet. Again, it's easier/safer than cheating or "technically" not cheating.
The second assumption was that this group weren't largely hardcore PLs. Now i didn't say it like that, but DC's previously discussion lent itself to the consideration of this large demographic. I can definitely believe 30-50% of customers are married. Certainly not all of the members in the bachelor/birthday parties are single. But again, based on logistics, i don't particularly see this group as contributing a similar percentage of SC revenues or the repeat business. So i think they would tend to fall more in the casual, one off or maybe even a few times a year at best.
Now there could be conceivably be numerous TUSCLers that fall in this group (married, not casual PLs). I still think this site lends to selection bias. That is just because you really enjoy and frequent SCs and seemingly everyone else on this site does, it doesn't mean that such a large majority of the general population also does.
At any rate, thanks for the answers/guesses. Especially you, nicespice. I didn't even consider couples that go to SCs, although IME those are less, even significantly less than 10% of customers. And also something that i and probably many dancers don't understand. That is why anyone would go to a SC with his GF/wife unless they were actually swingers or freaky...
Oh I wouldn't judge SC demographics by this site....
I have an interesting story.... So one of my side bitches told me about how she once broke up a guy's marriage and he thanked her for it.
The guy was middle aged, well off, working in the entertainment industry...He was in a marriage where his wife refused to have sex with him for over three years. She claimed it was coz her father died and was in heaven watching down on her and she won't let him see her being a slut. She was apparently a prude before that as well... She was so bad she made this guy cry by yelling at him and calling him disgusting for getting hard ons. She accused him of "unnatural perversions" for jerking off to porn.
So apparently after a few months of building up the courage to go to a strip club, he finally did it. He started seeing my side bitch. The wife actually hired a private investigator to follow him to the club. She even had him try to interview the girl!
Then he disappeared... showed up after like 3 months and thanked her. Told her that getting his wife to kick him out was the best thing to happen to him. And that her just treating him like a man gave him the confidence to start feeling normal again.
Guys always want what they cant have. That is why plastic surgery would not help. They already have their wife
Married men can still love their wife's and visit a SC. Sex with the wife in their marriage could be non existent for a number of reasons. Having a opportunity such as a strip clubs can fill a void without getting into compromising relationships.
If you're talking about morality, married or not, it's wrong To have strip clubs. Many would call it exploitation of women. IMHO we are all adults. If women or men "choose" to work at a strip club they aren't being exploited.
If a dancer in the SC has a negative opinion on married guys coming there or other men dissing married men being at the club. One word comes to mind. Hypocrites.
- I find great pleasure in admiring and enjoying a hot woman's body, and it would not matter if I was already married to the hottest woman in the world. No single woman could ever make me not want to admire others. I love beautiful women and I think every woman has something beautiful about her to admire and appreciate. Some more than others. Strip clubs are designed to offer this.
- My (loving) wife was accepting of this activity on a limited basis and openly expressed this. She also understands that I have the higher sex drive between the two of us and knows that I "need" things like porn and checking out hot women. Her only major issue with me going to strip clubs was the frequency which took time and money away from our relationship.
- It was my mid-life crisis and stress relief. I was never a guy that slept around with a bunch of women and I wanted to enjoy the (simulated) life of a "player" before I got to be too old. I used the club as a fantasy escape to be as forward as I wanted to a hot woman where I would never be that way in real life.
These are my main reasons for going to strip clubs as a happily married man. The fact that my wife is hot and rocks my world in bed is completely irrelevant. No one woman would ever make me not want to admire and appreciate others. Women are just too beautiful to me and their varied beauty is part of it. (LMAO at the comments that counseling or plastic surgery are a "solution" - clueless!)
I have not been to a strip club since my wife recently busted me on it (per the link nicespice posted). I have been tempted a few times but I am resolved never to go again behind my wife's back. If I go again, it's going to be with full disclosure to my wife. In retrospect the deceit is the major issue with clubbing while married. Although I had some good times in clubs it is not worth living a lie to the woman I trust my life to. The lying and guilt are not fun and ate at me internally. If there is anything I can advise to a married monger this is it: don't live a lie.
Currently my wife is open to me still going and we have talked about it. Likely it will be when I'm on a business trip or if she goes out of town without me. And I didn't ask for this - she offered it as simply an acceptable scenario for us. I don't know if I would even take her up on it.
In my adventures I would guess that the percentage of married men going to clubs were below half but more than 20%. This is based on talking to strippers directly about it and just meeting dudes there.
Also hi nicespice! FYI I still lurk this site 'cause some posts and threads are still funny.
There are some bonafide idiots here that are best to avoid exchanging posts with.
@IceyLoco thanks too. I have clubbed at various ages and phases of my marriage and in other relationships, and I can tell you without a doubt my biggest regret is simply not being honest about it. Trust and honesty are foundational to a good marriage. When I come home to my wife now I can look her eye-to-eye and it feels good. In contrast, even though I would come home after leaving the club "happy", it was living in denied guilt and misery coming home and being with my wife but having to hide and avoid discussing where I was. In the moment I thought it was all "worth" it and fun, but it really wasn't mentally healthy for me. It was a spiral of negative behavior. And totally undeserving to a really good woman.
But I hear this area is more strict with scheduling anyways.And that night shifts in downtown clubs is where it would be worth it. So I have been taking a break.
I’ve been meaning to go to Acropolis as a customer, however, because I’ve heard they have really good steak.
I’m happy for you that you’re making it work. If you made a follow-up post in a few months from now, that would be really cool.
I’m going to use broad generalizations again. It seems like men get more easily satisfied in general about things.
I’ve read somewhere that it’s 70% of women who initiate divorce. Men are less apt to bail for some reason. My guess for the reason is because they are creatures of comfort and routine (moreso than women) Which a wife would provide.
If my guess is correct, strip clubs would be a safe zone for sure.
But since a lot of strip clubs also have a nightclub vibe, that could also be attracting the younger ones.
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Hmm, maybe I’ll go look for marriage stats later.
I’ve *think* I’ve read somewhere that the age of tying the knot has been creeping higher and higher, but the rate which people completely eschew marriage isn’t much higher.
Which could possibly impact the clubs as well.
And yeah I may post another follow up to my marriage situation in a while. Besides what I already mentioned, I went through a phase where my wife would back check my bank account and credit cards balance and also I would intentionally call and talk to her on the phone as I drove home from work to make sure she knew I wasn't going to clubs. This has all tapered off in the last month and she trusts me without constant assurance now.
I also talk more openly about what I'm feeling and admitted the times I was tempted to go to a club. She appreciates that I share it and it helps me get over cravings. (LOL also she now has no issues if I "escape" to my man-cave to watch some porn.)
Also enjoy your time visiting Portland. I am currently out of town. The Acrop is known as a cheap steak place that happens to have strippers. Customers actually go for the steak. I have been there but never tried it. But if you want the really good steak here (better than Ruth's Chris), then you should try El Gaucho. It's expensive but soooo good. Ringside is another great steak place. The cheaper but "Portland vibe" places like the Acrop are Sayler's Country Kitchen and Clyde's Prime Rib.
I’ll have to look into the other options you mentioned. xD
Women do it too. Simple as that as well.
So if you do want to get under her skin, then just tell her about yourself in a relaxed and matter of fact way, and make sure that she learns the answers to everything she would want to know.
SJG
I suspect that the conversation out here in the parking lot is much better than what they are talking about in the VIP Room.
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Something else related to this topic, is theres been a push for LGBT rights, then why is it odd for married men that cheat? people should just accept everyones sexual prefrence.
@Salty.Nutz I totally agree that as I got older and made more money, the more I "justified" going to clubs unbeknownst to my wife. I felt more entitled to it based on that I could more afford doing it and not impact our lifestyle.
And yeah, I think clubs enable a moderate way to relieve marriage stresses without going to extremes and totally wrecking it. As nicespice mentioned, I limited myself to LDKs and seeing strippers because it wasn't technically "cheating" (as per my and my wife's relationship definition). Had I found hot women to bang on Tinder or gone to a brothel or escort instead, I would be divorced right now and my wife would have moved on without me. To date, my wife still tells me she's glad it wasn't worse like seeing another woman. To her, a strip club is somewhat acceptable. (LOL in moderation in my case.)
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/facts-fo…
The reason a lot less men than women file for divorce is because they stand to lose half of their hard-earned assets and pay alimony on top of that. Also they are more likely to lose custody or get less custody of their kids. So divorce for them is often a worse option than staying in an unhappy (sexually unfulfilling or whatever) marriage. Although if a marriage has already gotten to that point, i guess a PL might not care so much about hiding SC funds (or feel untitled as Salty.Nutz stated) and if the wife finds out, the wife finds out. But who really knows...
@SirLapdancealot
Good to hear your alive and well. Didn't really mean to call you out like that. Or maybe i did. Hope it's still all good, either way...
i would also like to add that being married kinda of saves me from being destructive to myself. if i was single i would probably be getting shit faced twice a week instead of once every two weeks.
The assumption with divorces is archaic... that women are homemakers and need help re-entering the world. Most women work now a days and its easier for a woman to get a job than a man.
The premise that whatever you made during the marriage is common property and you're entitled to half of it, is fair, but divorce attorneys view men as cash cows... blame lawyers.
Also, when you fuck the same pussy for 8 years you get bored. Maybe you still like her and you have kids. But strippers won't try to call you at 2 am, etc.
I was at a club last night - one that I’ve not been to in awhile. I surveyed the pl’s - and I think the number is probably 60%. I was thinking it might be 90% - but I after surveying the customers - it would be a bit odd if anything over 60% could remain married.
If you were asking the percentage of mongers who get into it when they are married - I’d put the number at 90%. But I think that declines sharply after they continue to monger - and their wives understand that they aren’t stopping.
To Sir Lap: is good to hear your marriage is still sound and all.