What percentage of PLs do you think are married family men?

42 comments

• rickdugan

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  6 years ago

  Dirk, you're overthinking it. Also, I think DC is right about 40-50%. The reality is that married men are often more financially stable than single guys. Makes sense really since (1) many of them live in two income households; and (2) success in a career and success in marriage often require interpersonal skills that are not unrelated. It is only on this weird little bubble site that you find such a high % of guys without spouses but yet still with solid disposable income. That is one of the reasons I always say that this site represents the average customer about as much as stripperweb represents the average dancers, which is not much.
• Musterd21

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  6 years ago

  I would say 80% till their wife finds out then 50%.
• DeclineToState

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  6 years ago

  ^LOL
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Not married nor have an S.O., but as a non-married guy I think you are making too many assumptions
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  w.r.t. married SCers, seems many have been married for a good # of years and it stands to reason they wanna try something different - also their wives' looks may have declined with time or at least compared to early-20s hardbody strippers - there are also wives that lose interest in sex.
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  It probably depends on the type of club and the location. Overall, I'd say they're the majority, maybe 65%
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  I don’t really ask. For me, I’d guess 30-40% married. But I’ve been working in club environments that is “party” style. And I tailor my approaches to get quick dances from lots of men than VIP with fewer of them.
  ————
  Interesting you brought up SirLap. He was always quick to bring up how awesome his wife is and how good the marriage was until his final thread.
  
  He was an individual whose MO was LDKs, and I got the impression he did that as a loophole to cheating. At one point,he talked about a CF offering OTC. But he didn’t want to meet because of a slippery slope that led to FS.
  
  But either way, the frequency of his visits were still became problem and he left the board to work on his marriage. Though searching his profile, it looks like he has logged on recently enough.
  Source: https://www.tuscl.net/app/discussion.php…
  
  I miss his posts here.
  ———
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  There's no way it can be good for a marriage. What wife will accept her husband spending money she feels entitled to, on better looking younger women.
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  and what kind of guy in a happy marriage chooses to spend money on other women....
  
  a marriage counselor would be a better investment. or cosmetic procedures/surgery for the wife
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  I think men will seek out SC, or cheating in general, also out of a desire for variety. More than whatever day-to-day problems. I think they really do love their wives and plastic surgery will not make her more desirable for him personally after she has been “locked in”
  ———
  I remember one weekend a couple came in and I gave dances for both of them. Both were really enjoyable and fun.
  
  A week later. I recognized him in the club again and said hi and asked how (insert wife name here) was doing. He said well. There wasn’t anything indicated that showed any problems.
  
  We got a couple dances, then he had to leave to go to another club with somebody. But wanted to come back. So he left the club and came back a couple hours later. And we got a cabana. Which I didn’t sell, but he decided he wanted. (The prices for one of those in my area will range from a little under a grand up to $1500 btw)
  
  And towards the end, he told me “if you were mine, you wouldn’t have to be here”...lol
  ———
  I mentioned my story to explain:
  
  1. Some men use SC/etc because of a void. But also many would go nonetheless because of love of variety and there isn’t much wrong.
  2. Men have biological wiring that makes them wish to “have” more than one woman, who is monogamous only to him. It doesn’t work out for most of them, but that is the MO
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  I’m sure that most married men love their wives, I think it’s just what @nice spice said we’re wired differently.
  I’ve heard it described as the difference between men and women is much simpler than many of y’all make it out to be
  Women usually look for one man to solve all of their problems
  Men look for all women to solve their one problem.
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  I think i only really made two assumptions and i don't think they were too far off. Of course there's happily married and happily married. That is there are people that are committed to their marriage and there's no way they are leaving their wife but often it's because of their kids. Then there's the relative fewer guys who are still in love, even deeply so, with their partner. Or they say they are. Now that second category i would find out of place at the SC. I think he would feel guilty there. The first one, less so, but he probably wouldn't be comfortable there.
  
  Now there's a whole category of people that are "stuck" (again, maybe because of kids or no prenup) or "bored" and need this outlet. Again, it's easier/safer than cheating or "technically" not cheating.
  
  The second assumption was that this group weren't largely hardcore PLs. Now i didn't say it like that, but DC's previously discussion lent itself to the consideration of this large demographic. I can definitely believe 30-50% of customers are married. Certainly not all of the members in the bachelor/birthday parties are single. But again, based on logistics, i don't particularly see this group as contributing a similar percentage of SC revenues or the repeat business. So i think they would tend to fall more in the casual, one off or maybe even a few times a year at best.
  
  Now there could be conceivably be numerous TUSCLers that fall in this group (married, not casual PLs). I still think this site lends to selection bias. That is just because you really enjoy and frequent SCs and seemingly everyone else on this site does, it doesn't mean that such a large majority of the general population also does.
  
  At any rate, thanks for the answers/guesses. Especially you, nicespice. I didn't even consider couples that go to SCs, although IME those are less, even significantly less than 10% of customers. And also something that i and probably many dancers don't understand. That is why anyone would go to a SC with his GF/wife unless they were actually swingers or freaky...
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  I don't believe cheating is gendered, men and women both do it.
  
  Oh I wouldn't judge SC demographics by this site....
  
  I have an interesting story.... So one of my side bitches told me about how she once broke up a guy's marriage and he thanked her for it.
  
  The guy was middle aged, well off, working in the entertainment industry...He was in a marriage where his wife refused to have sex with him for over three years. She claimed it was coz her father died and was in heaven watching down on her and she won't let him see her being a slut. She was apparently a prude before that as well... She was so bad she made this guy cry by yelling at him and calling him disgusting for getting hard ons. She accused him of "unnatural perversions" for jerking off to porn.
  
  So apparently after a few months of building up the courage to go to a strip club, he finally did it. He started seeing my side bitch. The wife actually hired a private investigator to follow him to the club. She even had him try to interview the girl!
  
  Then he disappeared... showed up after like 3 months and thanked her. Told her that getting his wife to kick him out was the best thing to happen to him. And that her just treating him like a man gave him the confidence to start feeling normal again.
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  I think sometimes, people assume the proportion of married customers is higher coz most men are of the age where you'd expect them to be married. But that's pretty much just coz older men tend to have bigger incomes so they can afford it more.
• crazyjoe

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  6 years ago

  I like your style nicespice. I agree with what you said.
  
  Guys always want what they cant have. That is why plastic surgery would not help. They already have their wife
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Maybe you can create another thread polling who's married/has-S.O. and get a somewhat rough estimate
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  ^ The problem with that would it would basically be just a TUSCL poll so it would probably be on the rougher side of estimates. On further introspection, i could see that there could be a significant number of serious SC enthusiasts that are married. It's just a very large pool. But anecdotally, which doesn't really mean much statistically, when i visit clubs during the week/day shift which is where many of the regular repeat PLs visit, i don't feel that this is the group i see. They tend to skew considerably older (than one with young(er) kids would be) and seem to be "lonelier" or missing physical affection, although i could be projecting and i'm hardly accurate or scientific or even vigilant when it comes to PL watching. I'm pretty much in my own bizarro world...
• Skippy10

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  6 years ago

  I would say they're many reasons married men visit a SC. I try not to judge others for the reasons they do what they do. Many people, men and women do things in their lives that get them to the next day. There could be a variety of things they do that get them there. Most men are wired from a biological standpoint to look at women, if the situation presents itself from a mutual standpoint it goes from there.
  
  Married men can still love their wife's and visit a SC. Sex with the wife in their marriage could be non existent for a number of reasons. Having a opportunity such as a strip clubs can fill a void without getting into compromising relationships.
  
  If you're talking about morality, married or not, it's wrong To have strip clubs. Many would call it exploitation of women. IMHO we are all adults. If women or men "choose" to work at a strip club they aren't being exploited.
  
  If a dancer in the SC has a negative opinion on married guys coming there or other men dissing married men being at the club. One word comes to mind. Hypocrites.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  I am a happily married man and I used to go to strip clubs for various reasons:
  
  - I find great pleasure in admiring and enjoying a hot woman's body, and it would not matter if I was already married to the hottest woman in the world. No single woman could ever make me not want to admire others. I love beautiful women and I think every woman has something beautiful about her to admire and appreciate. Some more than others. Strip clubs are designed to offer this.
  
  - My (loving) wife was accepting of this activity on a limited basis and openly expressed this. She also understands that I have the higher sex drive between the two of us and knows that I "need" things like porn and checking out hot women. Her only major issue with me going to strip clubs was the frequency which took time and money away from our relationship.
  
  - It was my mid-life crisis and stress relief. I was never a guy that slept around with a bunch of women and I wanted to enjoy the (simulated) life of a "player" before I got to be too old. I used the club as a fantasy escape to be as forward as I wanted to a hot woman where I would never be that way in real life.
  
  These are my main reasons for going to strip clubs as a happily married man. The fact that my wife is hot and rocks my world in bed is completely irrelevant. No one woman would ever make me not want to admire and appreciate others. Women are just too beautiful to me and their varied beauty is part of it. (LMAO at the comments that counseling or plastic surgery are a "solution" - clueless!)
  
  I have not been to a strip club since my wife recently busted me on it (per the link nicespice posted). I have been tempted a few times but I am resolved never to go again behind my wife's back. If I go again, it's going to be with full disclosure to my wife. In retrospect the deceit is the major issue with clubbing while married. Although I had some good times in clubs it is not worth living a lie to the woman I trust my life to. The lying and guilt are not fun and ate at me internally. If there is anything I can advise to a married monger this is it: don't live a lie.
  
  Currently my wife is open to me still going and we have talked about it. Likely it will be when I'm on a business trip or if she goes out of town without me. And I didn't ask for this - she offered it as simply an acceptable scenario for us. I don't know if I would even take her up on it.
  
  In my adventures I would guess that the percentage of married men going to clubs were below half but more than 20%. This is based on talking to strippers directly about it and just meeting dudes there.
  
  Also hi nicespice! FYI I still lurk this site 'cause some posts and threads are still funny.
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  Sirlapdancealot, that's a really good perspective, something to learn from
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @DC9428 Thanks for the kind words. I always enjoyed your posts too. Since I don't club anymore I naturally have less to post. And although reading and lurking posts is fun to me, it actually is less fun to engage.
  There are some bonafide idiots here that are best to avoid exchanging posts with.
  
  @IceyLoco thanks too. I have clubbed at various ages and phases of my marriage and in other relationships, and I can tell you without a doubt my biggest regret is simply not being honest about it. Trust and honesty are foundational to a good marriage. When I come home to my wife now I can look her eye-to-eye and it feels good. In contrast, even though I would come home after leaving the club "happy", it was living in denied guilt and misery coming home and being with my wife but having to hide and avoid discussing where I was. In the moment I thought it was all "worth" it and fun, but it really wasn't mentally healthy for me. It was a spiral of negative behavior. And totally undeserving to a really good woman.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @sirlap It’s a shame that phase of your life is gone. I’m actually in Portland right now and will be here for another couple of weeks.
  
  But I hear this area is more strict with scheduling anyways.And that night shifts in downtown clubs is where it would be worth it. So I have been taking a break.
  
  I’ve been meaning to go to Acropolis as a customer, however, because I’ve heard they have really good steak.
  
  I’m happy for you that you’re making it work. If you made a follow-up post in a few months from now, that would be really cool.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @DirkDiggler “Now there's a whole category of people that are "stuck" (again, maybe because of kids or no prenup) or "bored" and need this outlet. Again, it's easier/safer than cheating or "technically" not cheating.”
  
  I’m going to use broad generalizations again. It seems like men get more easily satisfied in general about things.
  
  I’ve read somewhere that it’s 70% of women who initiate divorce. Men are less apt to bail for some reason. My guess for the reason is because they are creatures of comfort and routine (moreso than women) Which a wife would provide.
  
  If my guess is correct, strip clubs would be a safe zone for sure.
  
  But since a lot of strip clubs also have a nightclub vibe, that could also be attracting the younger ones.
  ———
  Hmm, maybe I’ll go look for marriage stats later.
  
  I’ve *think* I’ve read somewhere that the age of tying the knot has been creeping higher and higher, but the rate which people completely eschew marriage isn’t much higher.
  
  Which could possibly impact the clubs as well.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @nicespice it would have been nice to meet you as a PL. I will let you know if I ever get back into the game.
  
  And yeah I may post another follow up to my marriage situation in a while. Besides what I already mentioned, I went through a phase where my wife would back check my bank account and credit cards balance and also I would intentionally call and talk to her on the phone as I drove home from work to make sure she knew I wasn't going to clubs. This has all tapered off in the last month and she trusts me without constant assurance now.
  
  I also talk more openly about what I'm feeling and admitted the times I was tempted to go to a club. She appreciates that I share it and it helps me get over cravings. (LOL also she now has no issues if I "escape" to my man-cave to watch some porn.)
  
  Also enjoy your time visiting Portland. I am currently out of town. The Acrop is known as a cheap steak place that happens to have strippers. Customers actually go for the steak. I have been there but never tried it. But if you want the really good steak here (better than Ruth's Chris), then you should try El Gaucho. It's expensive but soooo good. Ringside is another great steak place. The cheaper but "Portland vibe" places like the Acrop are Sayler's Country Kitchen and Clyde's Prime Rib.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  I’ve been to Clyde’s before. I agree. The prime rib there was great. (Another menu item was not, but that’s irrelevant.)
  
  I’ll have to look into the other options you mentioned. xD
• lopaw

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  6 years ago

  " Men do this (and cheating) because they can and often without real consequence. Simple as that."
  
  Women do it too. Simple as that as well.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  As I have observed, in strip clubs and other P4P venues, the women know not to ask sensitive questions. So unless you are clearly trying to get under her skin, she won't broach such subjects.
  
  So if you do want to get under her skin, then just tell her about yourself in a relaxed and matter of fact way, and make sure that she learns the answers to everything she would want to know.
  
  SJG
  
  I suspect that the conversation out here in the parking lot is much better than what they are talking about in the VIP Room.
  
  Joe Bonamassa - "Midnight Blues" - Beacon Theatre - Live From New York
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z74lr3t…
  
  Sloe Gin
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  Brothers In Arms
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMRJT2eb…
  
  TJ Street Girls
  http://tjstreetgirls.blogspot.com/
  
  http://www.tijuanafaq.com/index.php
  
  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1449997066/?ta…
  
  Real TJ Street
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj0yKwFl…
  
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• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  Glad to see you're still alive sirLDK!
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  As a married guy, i think youre way off OP. i used to think that way but the more money i make, the more entitled i get. SCs are the safest way to let some bad out, without wrecking your marriage. Strippers and PL are both looking for discrection if they engage in extra curricular activities OTC. its a win win for both. As far as my wifes looks declining after our kids is furthest from the truth. my wife looks better then half the girls that work at bourbon, but you cant eat pizza everyday, no matter how much you love it.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I can eat pizza every day.
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  ^^^your favorite topping is probably sausage^^^
  
  Something else related to this topic, is theres been a push for LGBT rights, then why is it odd for married men that cheat? people should just accept everyones sexual prefrence.
• stanlee

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  6 years ago

  75% easy
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @PaulDrake thx, bro. Good to hear from you!
  
  @Salty.Nutz I totally agree that as I got older and made more money, the more I "justified" going to clubs unbeknownst to my wife. I felt more entitled to it based on that I could more afford doing it and not impact our lifestyle.
  
  And yeah, I think clubs enable a moderate way to relieve marriage stresses without going to extremes and totally wrecking it. As nicespice mentioned, I limited myself to LDKs and seeing strippers because it wasn't technically "cheating" (as per my and my wife's relationship definition). Had I found hot women to bang on Tinder or gone to a brothel or escort instead, I would be divorced right now and my wife would have moved on without me. To date, my wife still tells me she's glad it wasn't worse like seeing another woman. To her, a strip club is somewhat acceptable. (LOL in moderation in my case.)
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Per the link below ~50% of the adult population is unmarried - so maybe ~50% of PLs in the club are married?
  
  https://www.census.gov/newsroom/facts-fo…
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  @nicespice
  The reason a lot less men than women file for divorce is because they stand to lose half of their hard-earned assets and pay alimony on top of that. Also they are more likely to lose custody or get less custody of their kids. So divorce for them is often a worse option than staying in an unhappy (sexually unfulfilling or whatever) marriage. Although if a marriage has already gotten to that point, i guess a PL might not care so much about hiding SC funds (or feel untitled as Salty.Nutz stated) and if the wife finds out, the wife finds out. But who really knows...
  
  @SirLapdancealot
  Good to hear your alive and well. Didn't really mean to call you out like that. Or maybe i did. Hope it's still all good, either way...
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @theDirkDiggler it's all good. I never thought you were calling me out. And FWIW I just got done sharing this thread with my wife. It's helped me organize my thoughts about why I clubbed and what my marriage means to me. Also the points by other married PLs has helped her get more perspective on the matter too.
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  Another interesting point brought to light in this post is losing half your shit if you file for divorce. You would not have this problem if you married someone in your same social class.
  
  i would also like to add that being married kinda of saves me from being destructive to myself. if i was single i would probably be getting shit faced twice a week instead of once every two weeks.
• Icey

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  6 years ago

  I live with my chick and our diet consists of pizza, chicken wings, hot dogs and cheap Mexican food....
  
  The assumption with divorces is archaic... that women are homemakers and need help re-entering the world. Most women work now a days and its easier for a woman to get a job than a man.
  
  The premise that whatever you made during the marriage is common property and you're entitled to half of it, is fair, but divorce attorneys view men as cash cows... blame lawyers.
• JamesSD

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  6 years ago

  A lot of dayshift guys are 60+, and I imagine are either divorced or married to a post menopausal 60 year old woman.
  
  Also, when you fuck the same pussy for 8 years you get bored. Maybe you still like her and you have kids. But strippers won't try to call you at 2 am, etc.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  I’ve not looked around much itc - as the other customers aren’t of interest to me.
  
  I was at a club last night - one that I’ve not been to in awhile. I surveyed the pl’s - and I think the number is probably 60%. I was thinking it might be 90% - but I after surveying the customers - it would be a bit odd if anything over 60% could remain married.
  
  If you were asking the percentage of mongers who get into it when they are married - I’d put the number at 90%. But I think that declines sharply after they continue to monger - and their wives understand that they aren’t stopping.
• gSteph

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  6 years ago

  To the OP: I can only guess, I just know that I am among the % of married, happily in my case. I'm a relative newbie at this, even though I be in my mid 60s, and it's taken a few somewhat difficult conversations with wife to clear the air/set parameters. But so far, it's all fun and good.
  To Sir Lap: is good to hear your marriage is still sound and all.
• Tyrion_Lannister

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  6 years ago

  In Westeros, the vast majority of casual whoremongers are married men. Most of the hardcore whoremongers like me, however, are unmarried men with a lot of money and too much time on their hands.