When you know you’re not interested before she even says hi
BoringLoser
^ You are an ass hole
When a girl asks for a dance it works to say you just want to watch the stage for a minute or that you aren’t in the mood yet, but what do you say when you don’t want to wait for her to get to that point? Like when you literally want to spend exactly 0 seconds with her?
20 comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtAfQ5yP…
I’ll say hello, and I’ll chat a bit too. Sometimes, that is enough to change my view. However, if it remains a solid no, then I will say no thanks before she thinks I’m at all interested.
-->"Like when you literally want to spend exactly 0 seconds with her?"
At worst -- for some reason, I don't want to banter with her, etc. -- then just be a person, let her say hi, say "no thanks"... but if I'm otherwise not engaged, happy to banter for a moment. I've met some great stripper drinking partners that way
I will also use some version of "I don't want to waste your time. I'm not looking at buying dances now."
One time there was an exceptionally ugly dancer at a Portland club. It hurt your eyes to look at her. I closed my eyes when she went on stage. Extraordinarily, exceptionally, ugly.
So all night Mary Jane is praying that miss ugly doesn’t approach us. I work tirelessly to never have the slightest eye contact. But it doesn’t work. Nobody wants her so she circulates a lot. And eventually that leads her right to me.
What happened next was more instinct than anything else. As she was approaching my table, I held my hand out towards her, hand open, in a very clear “stop right there” gesture. To my shock, she stopped, turned around, and went to a losers table nearby. Never tried to approach again.
I should get in the habit of doing this even when I AM interested. Maybe especially then.
Granted sometimes if another girl 10 feet away asked me 1 second after the first girl leaves, I might totally get some dances. And if the first girl sees this and thinks I'm an asshole, i guess I'll just have to live with that while her hotter coworker grinds on my junk.
Best if you select and approach the girl youself.
If a girl approaches you, that can be good, but you have to decide up or down. Just how it goes.
Either way, Front Room Makeout Session.
SJG
Like many people, being completely direct does not come natural to me - I will never say I'm not interested in getting dances from *you*, and also often don't use "you're not my type" line either although I may use it once in a while - I will often use the less personal "I wanna chill by myself" or "I just wanna relax and watch the stage" - not direct but it makes it "feel" to me as I'm not telling her directly there's something wrong w/ her (hey I just wanna watch the stage, it's not you) - not saying this is the best-approach but one that I'm comfortable w/ vs being completely-direct and pretty-much works 99% of the time and the dancer realizes I'm just not interested for w/e reason.
+ if one is not good at being direct and just saying what's on your mind (e.g. "I don't wanna get any dances from you"), then one may be better-off brainstorming some canned responses ahead of time one can use in the club when approached by undesired dancers
+ being proactive about getting w/ the dancers one wants vs the ones that approach you - that way one does not spend half their visit turning down undesired dancers and instead spends that time w/ desired dancers
I like your suggestion to actually be the one approaching. I think I’ll give that a try.