When a girl asks for a dance it works to say you just want to watch the stage for a minute or that you aren’t in the mood yet, but what do you say when you don’t want to wait for her to get to that point? Like when you literally want to spend exactly 0 seconds with her?
I always told them I'm not interested as they walk up to me but one of the girls told me to just say no thank you because it keeps all my options open without actually rejecting any part of the girl. There's a subtle difference between the two. If she presses, you can continue to say no thank you.
It’s your money. Spend it any way that makes you happy. If you walk into a store and a salesperson tried to sell you something you don’t want do you find it difficult to say no thank you ?
I’m not going to be rude - even if I know she’s not my type during her walk over.
I’ll say hello, and I’ll chat a bit too. Sometimes, that is enough to change my view. However, if it remains a solid no, then I will say no thanks before she thinks I’m at all interested.
-->"Like when you literally want to spend exactly 0 seconds with her?"
At worst -- for some reason, I don't want to banter with her, etc. -- then just be a person, let her say hi, say "no thanks"... but if I'm otherwise not engaged, happy to banter for a moment. I've met some great stripper drinking partners that way
I'm with Cash & Subra. I try not to be rude, which I feel like shooting them down before they even say hello is. For the same reason though, I quickly take direction of the conversation and lead it to a conclusion. There's never a girl I want to spend 0 seconds with that could change my mind, so I'm not really going to chat much. There's plenty of girls on the border that I'll let come make a pitch and actually decide based on our interaction, but there's also plenty of girls I just don't care how good their game is I'm not interested.
Here’s how to spend zero seconds with a dancer that you’re not interested in and still get her to go away. No words required.
One time there was an exceptionally ugly dancer at a Portland club. It hurt your eyes to look at her. I closed my eyes when she went on stage. Extraordinarily, exceptionally, ugly.
So all night Mary Jane is praying that miss ugly doesn’t approach us. I work tirelessly to never have the slightest eye contact. But it doesn’t work. Nobody wants her so she circulates a lot. And eventually that leads her right to me.
What happened next was more instinct than anything else. As she was approaching my table, I held my hand out towards her, hand open, in a very clear “stop right there” gesture. To my shock, she stopped, turned around, and went to a losers table nearby. Never tried to approach again.
They're there to make money, so lately I've went with, "I'm not going to get any dances right now" even mid introduction. When they know they aren't going to make any money off me they move on pretty quick.
Granted sometimes if another girl 10 feet away asked me 1 second after the first girl leaves, I might totally get some dances. And if the first girl sees this and thinks I'm an asshole, i guess I'll just have to live with that while her hotter coworker grinds on my junk.
Being a variety-PL means I don't like having my time cockblocked by dancers I am not interested in (I's got bitches to grope) - as most people, I don't like to be rude, thus I will rarely cutoff a dancer as soon as she approaches me or as she approaches me - but I usually won't let the convo go on too-long b/f I let her know I'm not interested.
Like many people, being completely direct does not come natural to me - I will never say I'm not interested in getting dances from *you*, and also often don't use "you're not my type" line either although I may use it once in a while - I will often use the less personal "I wanna chill by myself" or "I just wanna relax and watch the stage" - not direct but it makes it "feel" to me as I'm not telling her directly there's something wrong w/ her (hey I just wanna watch the stage, it's not you) - not saying this is the best-approach but one that I'm comfortable w/ vs being completely-direct and pretty-much works 99% of the time and the dancer realizes I'm just not interested for w/e reason.
Dancers trying to engage you that one is not interested in are an inevitable part of the SC environment - one can't eliminate this - one can only come-up w/ a plan to not let it interfere w/ one's visit too negatively - e.g.:
+ if one is not good at being direct and just saying what's on your mind (e.g. "I don't wanna get any dances from you"), then one may be better-off brainstorming some canned responses ahead of time one can use in the club when approached by undesired dancers
+ being proactive about getting w/ the dancers one wants vs the ones that approach you - that way one does not spend half their visit turning down undesired dancers and instead spends that time w/ desired dancers
@papi Yeah I don’t directly say that she specifically is not attractive to me. If I were better at just saying what’s on my mind it would go something like “clearly there isn’t a connection between us, and we both know that can’t be faked.”
I like your suggestion to actually be the one approaching. I think I’ll give that a try.
20 comments
Latest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtAfQ5yP…
I’ll say hello, and I’ll chat a bit too. Sometimes, that is enough to change my view. However, if it remains a solid no, then I will say no thanks before she thinks I’m at all interested.
-->"Like when you literally want to spend exactly 0 seconds with her?"
At worst -- for some reason, I don't want to banter with her, etc. -- then just be a person, let her say hi, say "no thanks"... but if I'm otherwise not engaged, happy to banter for a moment. I've met some great stripper drinking partners that way
I will also use some version of "I don't want to waste your time. I'm not looking at buying dances now."
One time there was an exceptionally ugly dancer at a Portland club. It hurt your eyes to look at her. I closed my eyes when she went on stage. Extraordinarily, exceptionally, ugly.
So all night Mary Jane is praying that miss ugly doesn’t approach us. I work tirelessly to never have the slightest eye contact. But it doesn’t work. Nobody wants her so she circulates a lot. And eventually that leads her right to me.
What happened next was more instinct than anything else. As she was approaching my table, I held my hand out towards her, hand open, in a very clear “stop right there” gesture. To my shock, she stopped, turned around, and went to a losers table nearby. Never tried to approach again.
I should get in the habit of doing this even when I AM interested. Maybe especially then.
Granted sometimes if another girl 10 feet away asked me 1 second after the first girl leaves, I might totally get some dances. And if the first girl sees this and thinks I'm an asshole, i guess I'll just have to live with that while her hotter coworker grinds on my junk.
Best if you select and approach the girl youself.
If a girl approaches you, that can be good, but you have to decide up or down. Just how it goes.
Either way, Front Room Makeout Session.
SJG
Like many people, being completely direct does not come natural to me - I will never say I'm not interested in getting dances from *you*, and also often don't use "you're not my type" line either although I may use it once in a while - I will often use the less personal "I wanna chill by myself" or "I just wanna relax and watch the stage" - not direct but it makes it "feel" to me as I'm not telling her directly there's something wrong w/ her (hey I just wanna watch the stage, it's not you) - not saying this is the best-approach but one that I'm comfortable w/ vs being completely-direct and pretty-much works 99% of the time and the dancer realizes I'm just not interested for w/e reason.
+ if one is not good at being direct and just saying what's on your mind (e.g. "I don't wanna get any dances from you"), then one may be better-off brainstorming some canned responses ahead of time one can use in the club when approached by undesired dancers
+ being proactive about getting w/ the dancers one wants vs the ones that approach you - that way one does not spend half their visit turning down undesired dancers and instead spends that time w/ desired dancers
I like your suggestion to actually be the one approaching. I think I’ll give that a try.