Scary strip club parking lot stories
vajmon
Love Canal
Being Halloween... I was thinking of the scariest place that I know of. It's not a graveyard, haunted house or Halloween party with inebriated coworkers. The scariest place I know is a strip club parking lot at night! All kinds of crazy shit goes down like shootings, robberies, drug dealing, fights, etc. I've had too many crazy things happen to me personally to list all. Like beggars hitting me up for money, pushers trying to sell me drugs, witnessing brawls, fender benders and even hooking up with a stripper in my car. But some of the scariest shit that has happened to me over the years includes...
At a rural honky tonk...
When I arrived at the club and got out of my car I noticed a couple of dudes in a pickup truck watching me from across the lot. One guy gets out and starts walking in my direction. So I pick up the pace towards the door and see him in the corner of my eye turn back after I near the building. I didn't think too much about it and spent the next two plus hours enjoying T&A. So later I leave out the front door and can see my car in the distance down below in the lot. The lot is still pretty full and I notice that pickup is now parked closer to my car. Something doesn't smell right. So I follow the group of Indian dudes who happened to leave the building the same time as I did, then made a quick dash to my car. The dudes in the pickup notice me just before I reached my car. They cranked their truck's ignition very briefly. Then the driver jumps out and runs towards my car. By this time I'm already inside with the doors locked. Dude shouts through my closed window "hey man, my battery is dead. Can you give my truck a jump start?" Now I've had dead batteries before and when I went to start my car it sure as shit didn't sound like that! His truck cranked hard and didn't die out. He just intentionally didn't start it. Never mind this dude's truck miraculously moved about 300 feet across the lot on a dead battery. And who the fuck hangs out for over 2 hours in a strip club lot when you can enjoy boobs and beer inside while waiting for AAA? So my reply through my closed window was "sorry man I don't have jumper cables, can't help, sorry!" So then this dude is like "hey can you roll down your window... I just want to ask you something...." So at this point I see the other dude is out of the truck and heading my way and the dude by me starts trying to open my door, which luckily I had locked. My car was already in drive so I smoked the tires and got the fuck outta there! Both dudes were wearing wangster hats and hoodies and the dude outside my window had his whole neck tattooed. He also looked like he burnt his lips on a crack pipe. I wasn't about to find out what those douches wanted.
Another incident...at a downtown club-
I'm leaving the club around 1:30 in the morning. Most of the parking lot has emptied out and I'm walking toward my car at the far end away from the building. Out of the shadows I see some dude who looked like had been hanging out in the lot making his way in my direction. Just didn't look right. So I headed back to the building and stood outside by the door for a couple minutes. This dude goes to a car in the general vicinity of my car and stands there like it's his car and he's locked out or something. So I go inside and tell the doorman. Then me and the doorman and a bouncer (both big guys) go outside. This dude sees us and starts walking quickly away from the car towards the street. Bouncer yells to the dude and asks if he needs help or something. Dude doesn't answer and instead hightails it down the street. I noticed on my visits after that that the club had a security guy outside watching the lot all the time- summer/winter, rain or shine. Turns out somebody got mugged in the lot not long after my incident. I'm glad it wasn't me!
At another downtown club-
So I get out of my car and start walking towards the club. A SUV pulls up next to me. In the passenger seat is a white chick who is probably in her 20's but looks like a 50 year old druggy, like a heroin addict. Behind the wheel is a brutha. So she yells out to me "hey, do you want a blowjob?" I respond with a polite no thank you. She's not my type physically and besides she looked like a walking STD! So this ho and her spook won't take no for an answer and keep following me as I walk through the lot with her throwing out lower and lower prices and offering more services trying to entice me. Finally I get close to the building but their SUV is between me and the club. I'm thinking, shit, maybe I'll have to make a dash around them or something. Anyway, all a sudden I see the police detail that was at the club walking quickly in our direction. The SUV sees them too and without warning takes off like a bat outta hell, tires screeching! One cop runs like hell after them and the other is on his radio calling for backup and running for the cruiser! I was thinking "holy fucking shit!!!" I ran like hell into the club, quickly paid the cover and then did my best to act like nothing happened. Luckily for me the club was pretty packed inside so I felt confident that I blended right in. I sure as hell didn't want to get caught up as a witness or something to a police investigation, especially being at a strip club!
From these things I've learned a few lessons to live by:
1. I never leave the club alone when mongering solo. I wait until I see a group of people leaving, that's when I go out the door. Safety in numbers, even if it's a false sense! LOL
2. I always park my car so I can drive out, not back out. Never know when you need to make a quick escape.
3. Beware of anyone approaching you in a strip club parking lot and don't be too polite or talkative to them.
4. And never leave a strip club at closing time. That's when the real crazy shit goes down!
At a rural honky tonk...
When I arrived at the club and got out of my car I noticed a couple of dudes in a pickup truck watching me from across the lot. One guy gets out and starts walking in my direction. So I pick up the pace towards the door and see him in the corner of my eye turn back after I near the building. I didn't think too much about it and spent the next two plus hours enjoying T&A. So later I leave out the front door and can see my car in the distance down below in the lot. The lot is still pretty full and I notice that pickup is now parked closer to my car. Something doesn't smell right. So I follow the group of Indian dudes who happened to leave the building the same time as I did, then made a quick dash to my car. The dudes in the pickup notice me just before I reached my car. They cranked their truck's ignition very briefly. Then the driver jumps out and runs towards my car. By this time I'm already inside with the doors locked. Dude shouts through my closed window "hey man, my battery is dead. Can you give my truck a jump start?" Now I've had dead batteries before and when I went to start my car it sure as shit didn't sound like that! His truck cranked hard and didn't die out. He just intentionally didn't start it. Never mind this dude's truck miraculously moved about 300 feet across the lot on a dead battery. And who the fuck hangs out for over 2 hours in a strip club lot when you can enjoy boobs and beer inside while waiting for AAA? So my reply through my closed window was "sorry man I don't have jumper cables, can't help, sorry!" So then this dude is like "hey can you roll down your window... I just want to ask you something...." So at this point I see the other dude is out of the truck and heading my way and the dude by me starts trying to open my door, which luckily I had locked. My car was already in drive so I smoked the tires and got the fuck outta there! Both dudes were wearing wangster hats and hoodies and the dude outside my window had his whole neck tattooed. He also looked like he burnt his lips on a crack pipe. I wasn't about to find out what those douches wanted.
Another incident...at a downtown club-
I'm leaving the club around 1:30 in the morning. Most of the parking lot has emptied out and I'm walking toward my car at the far end away from the building. Out of the shadows I see some dude who looked like had been hanging out in the lot making his way in my direction. Just didn't look right. So I headed back to the building and stood outside by the door for a couple minutes. This dude goes to a car in the general vicinity of my car and stands there like it's his car and he's locked out or something. So I go inside and tell the doorman. Then me and the doorman and a bouncer (both big guys) go outside. This dude sees us and starts walking quickly away from the car towards the street. Bouncer yells to the dude and asks if he needs help or something. Dude doesn't answer and instead hightails it down the street. I noticed on my visits after that that the club had a security guy outside watching the lot all the time- summer/winter, rain or shine. Turns out somebody got mugged in the lot not long after my incident. I'm glad it wasn't me!
At another downtown club-
So I get out of my car and start walking towards the club. A SUV pulls up next to me. In the passenger seat is a white chick who is probably in her 20's but looks like a 50 year old druggy, like a heroin addict. Behind the wheel is a brutha. So she yells out to me "hey, do you want a blowjob?" I respond with a polite no thank you. She's not my type physically and besides she looked like a walking STD! So this ho and her spook won't take no for an answer and keep following me as I walk through the lot with her throwing out lower and lower prices and offering more services trying to entice me. Finally I get close to the building but their SUV is between me and the club. I'm thinking, shit, maybe I'll have to make a dash around them or something. Anyway, all a sudden I see the police detail that was at the club walking quickly in our direction. The SUV sees them too and without warning takes off like a bat outta hell, tires screeching! One cop runs like hell after them and the other is on his radio calling for backup and running for the cruiser! I was thinking "holy fucking shit!!!" I ran like hell into the club, quickly paid the cover and then did my best to act like nothing happened. Luckily for me the club was pretty packed inside so I felt confident that I blended right in. I sure as hell didn't want to get caught up as a witness or something to a police investigation, especially being at a strip club!
From these things I've learned a few lessons to live by:
1. I never leave the club alone when mongering solo. I wait until I see a group of people leaving, that's when I go out the door. Safety in numbers, even if it's a false sense! LOL
2. I always park my car so I can drive out, not back out. Never know when you need to make a quick escape.
3. Beware of anyone approaching you in a strip club parking lot and don't be too polite or talkative to them.
4. And never leave a strip club at closing time. That's when the real crazy shit goes down!
19 comments
Just get a gun dude. That big scary man won't seem so scary anymore when he's on the floor crying like a bitch and begging for his life.
However, I think that your supposition that “thugs are used to” might not be entirely accurate.
I know that I personally saved my ass on one occasion by pulling a gun on a ROB stripper’s bf/manager/whatever. He backed off *quickly*.
Two other times sitting in a strip club parking lot waiting for my evening’s entertainment, and once while sitting a a red light late at night, reaching down and putting my pistol on the dashboard was enough to convince some aggressive types to back off.
Another time, simply putting my hands in my jacket pocket while staring the guy right in the eye did the trick.
“Career” criminals, thugs or otherwise, want the quick, easy payoff. They don’t want hassle or to get hurt.
Now, if it was crime of the moment, or a drug fueled attack, it might be less of a deterrent. But you’ll still have something to protect yourself from irrational types.
You'd be doing a favor by ridding this world of thugs. Those guys don't deserve to live
5. The only people out after midnight are the law and the outlaw. Don’t be one of them.
2. Fantasia (north of Toronto), about 1995. Returned to my car (normal sized sedan) to find it smeared all over with those vendor-dogs that are all over Toronto and are really quite tasty. Meat, mustard, sauerkraut, bun, everything pressed very carefully into lots of the cracks and crevasses. Took it straight to the car-wash, left a note in the windshield, and parked it there overnight. Huge waste of high quality kielbasa.
3. Treasures (Houston), about 2006. VIP / valet parking is required. Drove up under the portico / awning to the front door area, gave my keys over to the valet guy, who looked and sounded vaguely Middle-Eastern, tipped him $5 (which was excessive, given that the valet CHARGE was also $5, IIRC), left him to it. Five seconds later I hear "screeeee ..." and turn around to see him trying to back it up over the kerb-type divider which separates the in-bound lane from the out-bound, but the rear bumper is low enough that it won't clear the top of the divider so he's jamming on the accelerator with the car in reverse just slamming that bumper harder and harder, thinking he's going to get the wheels eventually to clear the divider but, of course, the wheels are nowhere near the divider. Doorman and I watch, bemused. "Yo! Habib! (or whatever his name was) Stop you dumbass!" he finally yells. I call the rental car company. "Hi, umm, about your car ... can you come get the damn thing and replace it?" Went inside, enjoyed myself for about four hours, heard an announcement over the club's PA, "the customer with the rental car, please come to the front desk, Hertz (or whatever company) is here." The rental car people simply looked at it and then called a tow truck company, which, by the way, is another business run out of exactly the same parking lot where Treasures is located. I went back into the club and enjoyed myself some more. When I got back outside the car was gone, I took a cab to the hotel, I called the rental people, and they told me that their policy and mine would probably cover any problems, etc. etc.. Never heard back from them. Checked about two weeks later, was told I had no more responsibilities in the matter, got a refund on the cost of the rental car even! I suspect Treasures had paid cash to hush it up because Habib-what's-his-name was undocumented working illegally. No repercussions now more than a decade later.
Besides this something happened to me that could have happened in certain strip club parking lots. I temporarily parked in an isolated area in the suburbs. Someone came up to me asking for money, When I was taking a dollar out of my wallet he grabbed my wallet through the car window but I was able to keep my wallet by struggling with him. Got out of there fast.
Don't mind giving money to beggars if it's in a busy place. Lately a camp has built up in one of these busy areas near me, a camp that includes heroin users so that there are needles laying around. The police have been helping these heroin users with rehab but some still return.