I have a confession, Bros!

Bros, it is my fault San Jose Guy has been going around fucking goats.

Yo see bros, I live right next door to San Jose Guy’s mom. She pays me $100 to babysit him. She asked me to take him to the gym because she was concerned that he wasn’t getting enough exercise since he sits in the basement playing on the computer all day.

Well bros, I took him to the gym and after my workout, I noticed something missing from my gym bag. It was a testosterone supplement, which has a 1,000mg dose of horny goat weed. Now bros, if you are a normal person, HGW will make you horny, but you still have the desire to fuck female humans. Since San Jose Guy’s brain isn’t normal, it had a completely different effect on him.

As I was driving San Jose Guy back to his mom’s house, he kept asking me if I knew where he could find some goats. Long story short, bros, he wouldn’t stop begging to me take him somewhere that had goats. Since he wouldn’t shut the fuck up, I gave in and took him to a petting zoo. First goat he saw, he jumped the fence and started fucking it doggy-style.

So you see bros, I will take complete responsibility for San Jose Guy fucking goats. In the meantime, I need to go buy a new bottle of that testosterone supplement because all I recovered from San Jose Guy was an empty bottle.

• Bro!