Skipped my ATF for another dancer - how should I play it with her when I go back

22 comments

• skibum609

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  6 years ago

  Be "honest" and say "it was kind of nice to not be taken for granted for a change." That is assuming she comes over and doesn't ignore you.
• datinman

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  6 years ago

  I wouldn't overthink it. I have a feeling if you show up with money everything will work itself out. If there is too much drama, it's time to move on anyway.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  What JustInToLook said.
• K

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  6 years ago

  If she says anything, tell her the truth. You wanted variety.
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  she doesn’t own you.
  it’s good to have her realize that.
• Studme53

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  6 years ago

  I'm not worried - she'll come right over to me - she likes me (and my $) - just wondering how to play it To get her to expand her menu with me
• rockie

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  6 years ago

  Tell her that the club is like a buffet and your appetite spoke out! She can reset your appetite or not.
• rickdugan

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  6 years ago

  Dud53 posted: "just wondering how to play it To get her to expand her menu with me"
  
  You don't. Instead you act like you've been there before and don't try to strong arm her into doing something that she's not comfortable with. Don't be one of those creepy d-bags who says something like, "Well, Starlight did xyz with me." Just move on to the next girl instead.
  
  Oh, and ATF means All Time Favorite. If her menu is that limited, this girl probably doesn't belong in that category.
• justaguy79

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  6 years ago

  Agree w/@RD, just ask for what you want. Leading with, "Girl #2 sucked my dick, so... " is likely to backfire. Both because she probably knows better than you how many dicks girl#2 has sucked, and because it's a passive aggressive bitch negotiating style.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  I've found that being transparent and open keeps me insulated from most drama. What that translates to is, as rick said, don't "play it." I mean, if you want to start psychological warfare, by all means tell her you were trying to get her to up her game, if you're the type that thinks it's fun to deal with any ensuing drama. And, like Rick, I don't get how you can have an ATF whose menu is more limited than what you want. I act like I did nothing wrong -- which I did not. In fact, if you avoided your ATF that night, because you felt guilty, she noticed it, and that's her cue to go on the offensive. I would not have hid from her that night, when she saw me, big smile, I missed you tonight but want to catch you next time! (if that's what you want to do)
• larryfisherman

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  6 years ago

  JustinToLook +2
• future POTUS and Senator in training

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  6 years ago

  "Hot little babe"
  
  Umm..ok.
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  Never intentionally start drama with a CF/ATF.
• Studme53

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  6 years ago

  Was business as usual - no drama -usual good time - she's a very cool lady. And also really hot.
  So she's hot and cool...?
• Vantablack

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  6 years ago

  Just tell her you wanted to try something different. You guys don't have anything exclusive so it's not like you have to go see her everytime.
  
  Now if you set up an appointment to see your ATF that night and then end up blowing her off for another dancer then that's another story entirely...
• steeldog65

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  6 years ago

  Are you two married, dating, in a committed relationship, if not then just do what you want. You give her $$ for time, etc. That is all. Don't play it, just man up if she asks and say the other girl was cute and you were interested if you feel the need to explain. I would not.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  -->"Now if you set up an appointment to see your ATF that night and then end up blowing her off for another dancer then that's another story entirely.."
  
  Agree. The sanctity of the Appointment shall not be infringed. I don't care if you cheat on your wife and put your family at risk. But break the Appointment, and I shall judge ye
• NJBalla

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  6 years ago

  I'd be upfront if she asked. Tell her you thought she was "busy" and that you will remember next time. You should actually have a great experience as girls love mind games.
  
  However, Id caution against doing this a lot in the future. Personally, my ATF is my ATF for a reason. Its easy to get comfortable with her great lapdances and decide to take another girl in the sake of variety. However, you will often find your 2nd option to be the one who agressively pursues you on your next visit. This makes for an annoying experience for the three of you. If you ever feel like you need variety again id visit another club or stop by on a night your ATF isnt working.
• Studme53

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  6 years ago

  BTW - is there something "triggering" about referring to a dancer as a "hot little babe"?
• wallanon

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  6 years ago

  Fastest way to get fired by a dancer with options: Show up and tell her you're fucking around with "her" money to turn the situation into something other than what she wants.
• ei8ht_Ball

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  6 years ago

  Studme53 - Do you really want to be with your ATF instead of the hot little babe you got to mess around with? If so, ask yourself why. If it's because your ATF has good qualities that you like, then just tell her what those qualities are. She'll probably appreciate it.
  
  If she doesn't act upset then you don't have to bring it up. But if she is upset, tell her you didn't realize how good you had it with her until you got dances from some other girls. Don't bash the other girls or tell her what you didn't like about specific girls, just tell her it made you appreciate her more. And give her a good tip.
  
  Like others have said, don't try to play another girl in an attempt to expand the menu. My CF doesn't do everything I ask for, and I appreciate her being open about boundaries so that I know how to make her feel comfortable with me.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Have you considered submitting your question to Dear Abbey?
  
  What is it you are looking for with any of these girls?
  
  SJG