I know most of you guys go after strippers in hopes of having OTC fun. Would any of you guys ever settle for a platonic relationship with any of the girls you meet in the club? Or do you guys think that's a waste of time? And when I mean platonic I mean staying just friends with the girl knowing she'll never have sex or get intimate with you.
So you're asking if we've ever immediately friend zoned ourself to a dancer so we appear less threatening to her just so we could be somewhat close to her?
My former regular seems to have found a girlfriend, so he hasn’t been as...erm, sappy as he used to be.
But he snapchatted me not too long ago asking how I was, and when I mentioned my Dallas trip he says we should have met up. He’s been pitching me to buy any one of the varieties of drugs he has, but I’m not really a drug user myself.
Ooh yeah I just realized. I don’t see why not from a customer POV, assuming you’re not *too* hung up over this ATF.
That’s when you get invited to hang out and you can meet other dancers. In my experience, it’s usually a small core of dudes who seem to just date/hookup with multiple dancers. My ex boyfriend knows more dancers than I do, lol.
I am platonic friends with a few former dancers. Dancers are people and some are worth being friends with even if it doesn't lead to sex. Some started as a working relationship but transitioned to a friendship that continued after she left dancing.
I know one that can hold down a discussion on many of the classics. She brought up Lysistrata on one of our dates and how it related to the discussion we were having. She probably knows some Plato if she knows Aristophanes.
The best way to meet women is to not try to sleep with all of them. Having lots of women friends raises your value to other women. The whole social proof thing, and the best part is they'll think you're sleeping with at least some of them (as long as you carry yourself right) making them compete that much more for your attention.
So stripper or non-stripper I enjoy platonic relationships. Doesn't mean you got to be pussy whipped or BFFs.
Absolutely . . . there's no better way to get other girls out of the club for some OTC than to have one of their stripper friends vouch for how safe she'll be with you . . . that goes a long way . . .
But I'm not giving any money to the platonic friend. Period.
Friends can always happen but I am not going to a club just to make or see platonic club friends. Sometimes I would buy a drink for a girl I just get along with and chat but nothing more. I am on a mission for bigger and better things.
For those of you that have seen When Harry Met Sally there is no such thing. That said, do whatever feels right but if the platonic POT is a dancer, be careful, most dancers are a little cuckoo (and that's why I love em)
I was unaware that "when harry met sally" was a documentary on male/female relationships. I always thought of it as a comedy.
Some people mention paying for a platonic relationship. That is not a platonic relationship. While I would not do that, I will not criticize someone that does. To each his own
-->"Would any of you guys ever settle for a platonic relationship with any of the girls you meet in the club?"
It's the "settling" part that I trip on. It implies I badly want to have sex with her, but instead I'm going to bite my tongue and "settle" for being friendzoned, while pining away for her and fantasizing that she'll change her mind. This is crazytown -- no, out of the question.
If you remove the word settle and just ask, would I be friends with a stripper? Sure. Hell, I've even maintained friendships with strippers after they "Retired" and I was no longer interested in them sexually, but we stay in touch over social media, even go out for drinks occasionally. One thing about strippers, they're fun to hang out with and talk to (I realize opinions vary on this point, and some of you would rather get a sharp stick in the eye than just talk with a stripper), so sure, absolutely. Having young, fun, female friends is not a bad thing.
I’m platonic friends with lots of dancers. Many dancers are cool people. If you enjoy their company (and aren’t just using this as some sad attempt to get close to a person you wish you were fucking) why wouldn’t you want to be friends?
Pros:
- I get to hang out with cool people outside of the club for free.
- I get invited to parties with other dancers or similarly young, hot women.
- I invite dancer friends to my parties (which results in much better parties).
- When I’m in the club, they’ll chill with me for free, help me pick out other girls, give me discounts on dances, or generally work to make my experience better.
Cons:
- One won’t dance for me anymore because she gets self-conscious trying to pretend to be sexy in front of me.
- You have to be good with boundaries in the club so they don’t dampen your experience by unloading all their emotional baggage on you.
In my misspent youth I was friends without bennies with lots of strippers I even took a few for a whale watch, I was the go to guy when they did amateur nights, In the dawning age of the internet circa 2000 I was a bodyguard when girls did shoots for websites.
I liked my ATF for a while knowing something romantic between us cannot exist, so me and her are just going to be friends. It's probably better off this way
Something romantic isn't the same thing as something sexual... if you're talking about a platonic relationship, you mean something sexual can't exist between you, too, right?
I know, and regularly see, a couple of girls who won’t put out. However, they’re so pleasant to be around, so so undemanding, that I feel little need to pursue it any further.
However, as Subraman noted, I’m not convinced that “settling” is the right word for this. They are each good people, and the absence of sex isn’t a detriment at all.
Some Of y'all are delusional. If you can honestly look in the mirror and say that you'd be friends with a big ol 300 lb gal because she is cool, then I stand corrected. If you have ulterior motives for 'being friends' then that's not a friendship, that's using someone. Nothing wrong with being friends that way, but don't act like it's not self-serving and if it's self-serving it's not a true friendship.
"I have a platonic relationship with a girl I met in a club.
That said I'd love to sleep with her, it just hasn't really come up."
@jester214
Hey me too! Except I'm only stuck with platonic because that is as far as I can get right about now. Escalation to something more would be ideal, although very hard to achieve.
The problem with a platonic relationship with a stripper that you want to fuck is that you're always going to want to fuck her. So, the relationship isn't actually platonic; it's just blue-ball frustrating.
I'd never want that, but I'm not going to tell you that you're having fun wrong.
Personal opinion... leave this other dancer behind and go to another club where you can just have fun sans complexity.
I'm not not one to tell you that you're having fun wrong nor give unsolicited advice. But in general, someone in this predicament should stop trying to be friends with people you want to sleep with. That's the best advice I can give in one sentence.
@Vantablack posted: "Hey me too! Except I'm only stuck with platonic because that is as far as I can get right about now. Escalation to something more would be ideal, although very hard to achieve."
Why? I missed the part if you asked her out? Or the part where you asked to fuck her for money. And the part where she turned you down. It's probably too late to change things around for her, but really it's not very hard to achieve. Really it's not. It's not like men who date or prostitute (is that a verb?) women like your ATF are brainiacs or all that successful. So why it is hard to achieve? Think about it. All 15 y/os like yourself really ponder that.
In the mean time, try a new club and some new women like @Call.Me.Ishmael suggests.
Yep, to repeat -- I have no problem with platonic relationships with a stripper. Strippers are fun.
But if you're this guy https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/231624-f… then it can get to meme-level pathetic. It's that word "settle", that indicates that you badly want to sleep with her, but will settle for being friendzoned, that can lead to a lot of frustration or misery -- even if you're getting a little temporary high when she deigns to give you attention.
* Four of the 10 reasons why women won't date you
1. Lack of ambition
4. A slob (being out of shape, dressing poorly, or lack of style)
10. A bore
11. Lack of balance. A balanced person is someone who can juggle a lot of things and still give them proper time and attention.
*Four Reasons you can't stop thinking about that guy you just met (written by a woman)
1. He exudes confidence
2. He manspreads . . . sort of.
3. He is clummy with his guy friends.
4. He is calm.
^^I think a lot of guys (like fishsticks) haven't figured out on their own how to build lust in a women or how to use tension, particularly sexual tension, to flirt with a girl and pique her interest & curiosity. That's if you're slob appearance, not necessary good looks though that helps, doesn't make her run away at first. I'd wager 1&2 get her motor running and 3&4 let her know she won't have buyer's remorse (a/k/a social proof).
^^But really if I wanted to distill it down to the pure form.
1. She said she said yes because I was confident and she just HAD TO SEE (emphasis hers) out if I could back that up.
2. She said she was curious what Miss So-and-so had, because I was friends with or was dating her competition.
3. Not boring. She was looking to break out of a routine or boredom and I offered what they all want. Adventure, excitement, a day out. Either something novel, a break from comfort, or she trusted me enough to follow me and see where it might lead. She said you grabbed me but you looked like you knew what you were doing. Universally I'm told some of the best dates they had were (1) when I told her I was going to date her instead of asking as the confidence was intoxicating and (2) when we'd leave early morning before dawn to go do something, then she'd fully wake in the jeep or the truck on the way, seeing the fog settling, then I'd hand her a mcmuffin or croissant sandwich, eating it on the way. It didn't matter what activity I had planned (economizing by using the drive-thru), but the ride there was always memorizing for her.
Maybe what I wrote it helpful or maybe it's not. Once it dawned on me that football players and other cavemen were having better luck that me they weren't brainiacs, I turned my luck around. So where's the problem?
Right. Chances are if you are intoxicating fun to be around all you have to just is JUST ASK. They're people, too. Dating was simple once I figure that out.
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No, never done that.
But he snapchatted me not too long ago asking how I was, and when I mentioned my Dallas trip he says we should have met up. He’s been pitching me to buy any one of the varieties of drugs he has, but I’m not really a drug user myself.
So to answer your question...maybe?
That’s when you get invited to hang out and you can meet other dancers. In my experience, it’s usually a small core of dudes who seem to just date/hookup with multiple dancers. My ex boyfriend knows more dancers than I do, lol.
I know one that can hold down a discussion on many of the classics. She brought up Lysistrata on one of our dates and how it related to the discussion we were having. She probably knows some Plato if she knows Aristophanes.
So stripper or non-stripper I enjoy platonic relationships. Doesn't mean you got to be pussy whipped or BFFs.
But I'm not giving any money to the platonic friend. Period.
Some people mention paying for a platonic relationship. That is not a platonic relationship. While I would not do that, I will not criticize someone that does. To each his own
It's the "settling" part that I trip on. It implies I badly want to have sex with her, but instead I'm going to bite my tongue and "settle" for being friendzoned, while pining away for her and fantasizing that she'll change her mind. This is crazytown -- no, out of the question.
If you remove the word settle and just ask, would I be friends with a stripper? Sure. Hell, I've even maintained friendships with strippers after they "Retired" and I was no longer interested in them sexually, but we stay in touch over social media, even go out for drinks occasionally. One thing about strippers, they're fun to hang out with and talk to (I realize opinions vary on this point, and some of you would rather get a sharp stick in the eye than just talk with a stripper), so sure, absolutely. Having young, fun, female friends is not a bad thing.
Pros:
- I get to hang out with cool people outside of the club for free.
- I get invited to parties with other dancers or similarly young, hot women.
- I invite dancer friends to my parties (which results in much better parties).
- When I’m in the club, they’ll chill with me for free, help me pick out other girls, give me discounts on dances, or generally work to make my experience better.
Cons:
- One won’t dance for me anymore because she gets self-conscious trying to pretend to be sexy in front of me.
- You have to be good with boundaries in the club so they don’t dampen your experience by unloading all their emotional baggage on you.
@Subraman
I liked my ATF for a while knowing something romantic between us cannot exist, so me and her are just going to be friends. It's probably better off this way
Do I want a platonic friendship with my ATF, sure but just that and nothing more. Wouldn't want to marry her.
However, as Subraman noted, I’m not convinced that “settling” is the right word for this. They are each good people, and the absence of sex isn’t a detriment at all.
I have another girl I see at the club whenever my ATF isn't available. However I haven't seen that other girl in weeks
That said I'd love to sleep with her, it just hasn't really come up.
Are you starting your pimpin career? Just stay off my turf instead of trying to be like lil_balls ;)
That said I'd love to sleep with her, it just hasn't really come up."
@jester214
Hey me too! Except I'm only stuck with platonic because that is as far as I can get right about now. Escalation to something more would be ideal, although very hard to achieve.
I'd never want that, but I'm not going to tell you that you're having fun wrong.
Personal opinion... leave this other dancer behind and go to another club where you can just have fun sans complexity.
@Vantablack posted: "Hey me too! Except I'm only stuck with platonic because that is as far as I can get right about now. Escalation to something more would be ideal, although very hard to achieve."
Why? I missed the part if you asked her out? Or the part where you asked to fuck her for money. And the part where she turned you down. It's probably too late to change things around for her, but really it's not very hard to achieve. Really it's not. It's not like men who date or prostitute (is that a verb?) women like your ATF are brainiacs or all that successful. So why it is hard to achieve? Think about it. All 15 y/os like yourself really ponder that.
In the mean time, try a new club and some new women like @Call.Me.Ishmael suggests.
But if you're this guy https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/231624-f… then it can get to meme-level pathetic. It's that word "settle", that indicates that you badly want to sleep with her, but will settle for being friendzoned, that can lead to a lot of frustration or misery -- even if you're getting a little temporary high when she deigns to give you attention.
1. Lack of ambition
4. A slob (being out of shape, dressing poorly, or lack of style)
10. A bore
11. Lack of balance. A balanced person is someone who can juggle a lot of things and still give them proper time and attention.
*Four Reasons you can't stop thinking about that guy you just met (written by a woman)
1. He exudes confidence
2. He manspreads . . . sort of.
3. He is clummy with his guy friends.
4. He is calm.
^^I think a lot of guys (like fishsticks) haven't figured out on their own how to build lust in a women or how to use tension, particularly sexual tension, to flirt with a girl and pique her interest & curiosity. That's if you're slob appearance, not necessary good looks though that helps, doesn't make her run away at first. I'd wager 1&2 get her motor running and 3&4 let her know she won't have buyer's remorse (a/k/a social proof).
^^But really if I wanted to distill it down to the pure form.
1. She said she said yes because I was confident and she just HAD TO SEE (emphasis hers) out if I could back that up.
2. She said she was curious what Miss So-and-so had, because I was friends with or was dating her competition.
3. Not boring. She was looking to break out of a routine or boredom and I offered what they all want. Adventure, excitement, a day out. Either something novel, a break from comfort, or she trusted me enough to follow me and see where it might lead. She said you grabbed me but you looked like you knew what you were doing. Universally I'm told some of the best dates they had were (1) when I told her I was going to date her instead of asking as the confidence was intoxicating and (2) when we'd leave early morning before dawn to go do something, then she'd fully wake in the jeep or the truck on the way, seeing the fog settling, then I'd hand her a mcmuffin or croissant sandwich, eating it on the way. It didn't matter what activity I had planned (economizing by using the drive-thru), but the ride there was always memorizing for her.
Maybe what I wrote it helpful or maybe it's not. Once it dawned on me that football players and other cavemen were having better luck that me they weren't brainiacs, I turned my luck around. So where's the problem?
I just asked her and she seemed very open to the idea of spending time outside of the club. I'm gonna try to make it happen this weekend.