Strip club sadness

Remember when I said that you may not be built for strip clubs? I believe this more now.

If any part of strip clubbing is putting you in crisis and you can't fix that, then you should think about not going to strip clubs.

Well... sometimes I do things you’re not supposed to do in VIP. Often as soon as I finish up and hand over the money it makes me feel cheap and really dirty, so I usually leave.

For some reason when I get plain lapdamces I don’t feel that way.

No matter how much fun I have in a strip club, skiing, at the poker table, at a pats game, golfing etc. the first thing I do when I get in my car is call my wife and see if she wants me to take her to dinner. Look forward to seeing her all the time, so nope, I never get sad leaving the club. I just get high and happily return to real life.

God, I’m glad I’m not the only one. I sometimes ball my eyes out when I have to leave the club. It’s soooo depressing!

Sometimes it’s so bad that I’m tempted to drive into the other lane in front of a speeding semi!

It’s probably a good thing they didn’t let me keep my gun after the last time I had an “episode” and went to the hospital.

Sad or depressed? No. Do i sometimes wish i could stay longer? Yes. Consider talking to a professional if you do feel sad or depressed.

For some people, the strip club is an escape from the harsh reality.

Had a similar experience when I first started going to the club. Pretty much just pushed through it and kept going though. If it’s just about going out and having some fun and you’re not doing anything you feel you need to hide, then it shouldn’t cause any alienation.

I guess the real issue is that the strip club is just temporary happiness. Everytime I'm there it feels awesome because I'm with girls that are completely out of my league. In real life a girl like that and me wouldn't even cross paths. In the club all it takes is money and even though everything that happens in there isn't real; in the moment it feels real enough

Van. I feel your pain.

@Ishmael

Going to the strip club isn't ruining my finances and it isn't interfering with my daily responsibilities. It's just the post sadness that gets me everytime. It just feels like I always have to recreate that feeling of being wanted by a woman. And goddamn I sound like the biggest PL on earth right now, but that's how it truly is right now.

I'm sticking with my original assessment.

The only thing that makes me sad is the older I get the less I cum in there mouth

You either need to work on your personal life; or you're making/expecting strip-clubs to be something they are not or meant to be be - or both.

w.r.t. one's personal life - good times may not last forever but that can apply to bad times also - one's future is def not set in-stone based on one's past or present - most people go thru tough times and some people bloom later than others in that it takes them longer and more life-experience to get thru the rough-times - we can always learn and improve it's just that sometimes it takes longer than we would want/like.

w.r.t. strip-clubs - they are not a substitute for real-life - if one craves a real/meaningful relationship then you will be disappointed trying to find that in strip-clubs - strip-clubs should be seen as fun/relaxation/entertainment like playing golf, getting a good-massage, or going on vacation - strip-clubs are not meant to fix one's problems but perhaps just make them easier to get thru via some entertainment.

Honestly, no I don't feel depressed leaving a club. But that's usually because I already came and feel pretty satisfied. Sometimes I'll sit around and soak up the ambiance a little more. But once I leave there's really no other feeling besides, ok what's next? Either it's time to head home and hit the sack. Or if it was a daytime visit then it's on to the next venture.

It is like being the proverbial kid in a candy store. But you imbibe the aesthetic, and then find ways to recreate it in your own outside life.

Strip clubs are great, but they are not in my opinion a good way for getting regular sexual gratification.

SJG

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate

I think I'm trying to chase happiness in a place where nothing is real..... And I'm expecting something real to come out of it

speaking for myself... I want the fantasy to continue.

Strip clubs are more of a remedy than a cure - they don't solve the problem but alleviate the symptoms - in the absence of a cure alleviating the symptoms is usually a good way to go

@ Vantablack

"Everytime I'm there it feels awesome because I'm with girls that are completely out of my league."

Have you seen some of these girls' boyfriends? It may be more a question of compatibility or timing rather than being in or out of their league.

"In real life a girl like that and me wouldn't even cross paths. In the club all it takes is money and even though everything that happens in there isn't real; in the moment it feels real enough"

Here we get to the crux of the issue: your reality does not match your fantasy. The strip club gives you a taste of that fantasy, sweet and bitter in its ephemerality.

There are two ingredients necessary to turn a fantasy into reality: luck and hard work. You can't really control luck, but you can control how hard you work. It seems like your fantasy is to attract attractive women. I think there are four main ways to improve your attractiveness to women:

1) Your appearance.
2) Your personality.
3) Your status.
4) Your finances.

2-4 are not in my wheelhouse, but I can help you with #1 on my list. I was already thinking of creating an article/discussion on how men can improve their appearance. I might hop on it and chug out a rough draft when I have the free time. You're a young guy so you still have quite a lot of time to improve herself. Heck, there really isn't an age limit to self-improvement!

"In love with my ATF"

I think you need to stop torturing yourself and ask your ATF if she wants to take it to another level. You can take it a half-step and ask for OTC, or you can roll the dice and ask for a real date. Yes, there is a real risk that she will say no, but right now you're in limbo and you have to ask yourself if you are truly satisfied with what you have. If she says yes you will feel like King of the Mountain. If she says no you will probably feel like dirt. If she does say no, just remember that another beautiful and wonderful woman will come along. Your heart won't believe it at first, but if you keep telling yourself that eventually your heart will come around to that truth.

When I'm sad I like to listen to sad music. I find that it helps me. Here is a thread I created recently which has a list of sad music recommend by others and me: https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

@ MisterWonderful

When I'm not depressed I consider myself a cautiously optimistic realist. I know for a fact that genuine love matches between two people with wide disparities in looks, finances, and age do happen. They are relatively rare, but they definitely do happen. Look up YouTube and you will multiple examples.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz1ZE5qC…

Emo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB3ykawj…

No.

@EchoPizza

Thanks for that. I'm working on #1; I'm starting to go to the gym regularly. As for #4 I have my finances in a good spot as of currently. Status wise I have no idea where I stand; I think I'm just another average Joe. Personality-wise I try to be funny and witty, but whether I actually am to other people is something else entirely.

I've only had one girlfriend ever so my experience with girls is just as you'd expect....not good

@MisterWonderful

I don't think anyone wants the fantasy to end. It's too good to let go

Leaving TJ made me cry, from closing the hotel door to walking out, to driving home.

It's always hard to say goodbye

@Vantablack - You are undoubtedly seeing strippers in an idealized unrealistic way. A lot of them in street clothes are just average-ish girls. And they take nasty smelly shits in the bathroom just like you.

I would agree with callmeishmael that it sounds like you aren't cut out for this. I was pretty emotional like you but in different ways when I started but I have the financial resources to support the habit. And I know where I stand with women.

@ Vantaback

No problem. I think everyone on this site should be out to help one another. In the end, we are all here for the same thing: to find pleasure in the embrace of a beautiful woman. Also, to cum in our pants.

Working out is a great start. I have just started to work out myself. It's been painful, and I need to shake off a lot of the cobwebs. Gained a ridiculous amount of weight since I came back from Tijuana. I'll get to work on my rough draft and possibly post it in the next week or two.

You obviously have a passion of knowledge of cars. A lot of times personality attraction is about having things in common. If you could find a stripper or a girl who loves cars than you've got a foundation to build on right there.

Also, good on your for #4. That's probably what I need to work on the most for myself. Ha ha! Honestly, if you've got a nice car and decent money than you already have above-average status compared to a lot of guys in their early 20s. You certainly blow me away! I drive a boring sedan.

"I've only had one girlfriend ever so my experience with girls is just as you'd expect....not good"

One girlfriend is one more than some guys I know. Crazy, I know, but you would be surprised how many adult male virgins there are. You're going to get there. There are a lot of guys on this site who have decades of experience with women. You can learn from their mistakes and their successes. I certainly am.

I think many that become regular SCers probably felt that rush for a while when they first became SCers, kinda like they found nirvana - most of us evolve and adjust to the reality vs the fantasy/illusion - and TUSCL is a very good resource for keeping a PL in touch with reality (if the PL is willing to listen or when he's ready to listen).

Yo u gonna write a review or two or just keep posting novels on the board?

@PaulDrake

Yeah I created another thread a week ago about falling for my ATF. My problem is the thin fine line between fantasy and reality. I keep telling myself I'll separate the two, but it's easier said than done. Financially, the strip club hasn't ruined me and I don't think it will. I have plenty of self control when it comes to money. However in terms of emotion, the club will get me real happy and then real sad right afterwards. You said you got emotional when you started, but it was different. How was it different from what I'm feeling?

@EchoPizza

I'll try the mutual hobbies approach you mentioned. And the working out deal is all consistency!! The hardest part about working out is doing it regularly! I'm sure you'll get back into the pace in no time!


And as far as experience with women goes, I guess we could all learn something new everyday

I go through this every so often, maybe once or twice a year...well, without the loneliness/sadness part: relating more to the "coming down off a high" part. It's usually after a particularly good visit, but it's somewhat random. Went to Follies three times in less than a week last month (I don't live in Atlanta), didn't get it. Went to Tootsies two consecutive nights in June, didn't get it. Went to Savannah's a couple weeks ago - a place I've talked really badly about on here - and I got it.

The problem comes when you keep chasing said high, especially if you can't find that high anywhere else. Some balance/diversity in how you get those highs would seem to be in order - especially if they come from places where attractive civilians can notice (and become attracted to) you.

thank you echo pizza for your encouragement. I wasted a lot of money in the past. it was fun... but only 1/10 of what I enjoy now.

@ Vantablack

Yeah, getting back in the habit of exercising is the toughest part. It’s 80% mental. I jogged for 25 minutes and was hugging and puffing at the end of it.

@MisterWonderful

No problem friend. My philosophy is that life is tough and we should be looking out for each other. You seem to have found your adult wonderland with TJ, and the best part is you get to go so often. I’m legitimately jealous of you.