Going back in time to your first strip club expereince

other than the first girl i vip'd with I would totally leave vegas.

oh... I'd also include that awesome drunk chick at treasures. awesome lap dance right inside the main entrance.

I would do it all over again, I ran into a couple of things when I first began this hobby. I once spent $240 and didn't get any kouchie during a VIP Session. Another time I spent all my money at the dollar walk area and didnt get much dances.
One of the only "Mistakes" I made hobbying when I first started was giving girls money because they begged for it, you know the usual SS like 'Come on its my birthday' or 'Are you tipping', the girls get an attitude with you but you dont have to tip even at places like Fantasies in Baltimore when the girls do there dollar stroll you dont have to tip even if they kneel down and all that. I personally love the mistakes I made it helped me feel more relaxed whether Im at a massage parlor or a Strip club. I love mongering.

In my first true solo strip club experience I met a hot stripper that was drunk, and gave extras for free.

I would “tell myself” when I was leaving that night, do not go back, because next time she will be sober and won’t give extras, and go the speed limit when going home (got pulled over in a speed trap that night). Luckily I hadn’t had an ounce of alcohol so that wasn’t an issue!

See my article on visiting Tijuana back in 1961.

i read that before. awesome.

Lol! Looking back at my first experience, I would say to my self of the time, "For the love of all that is holy, don't go there!"

I had been talked into going to The Come Together Lounge (not kidding, that was the place's name) in Jacksonville, FL for lunch with a view. We got there and there was a single 4 dancing and a 9+ bartender who was fully clothed. We tried to get the bartender to strip, but she wasn't willing to wear one of those really skimpy outfits, let alone drop any pieces of them.

So ended my first foray into a strip club.

My second, for my bachelor party, was much better and I have fond mammaries, er, memories of that visit.

1. "Everything is negotiable."

2. "What the fuck are you doing in a strip club with only $30?"

I would tell my younger self - "go ahead and live-it-up bro, you really don't have too many better options"

I wish I could tell myself that everything that happens in the club isn't real....the girls just want your money not your feelings...

I would tell myself to go to Tijuana.

@Ishmael yeah, that would be me too. my first visit was actually very fun, but had no where near enough money to fully enjoy it

also, I would warn myself about all the BS strippers will say to convince you to go to VIP and to just ask them "are you gonna suck my dick in VIP?" and not go unless I got a convincing yes

The conversation would go something like this:

Older self: "Jack, you fucking moron, do you want to waste all your money looking at tits?
Younger self: "Yes."
Older self: "OK."

My first strip club visit was 8 years ago, so a commentary between me and “younger” me could be quite entertaining to hear. It may go something like this, assuming that “younger” me doesn’t freak out when he sees me.

Younger me: “What the fuck? You look exactly like me, but I don’t have a twin”

Me: “I am you at age 35”

Younger me: “Really? So you’re saying over the next 8 years my body will not age one bit? In fact, you actually look a lot healthier than me. You look a little bit thinner, and a little more muscular too”

Me: “Yes, I am you from the future. There are some things we need to talk about.”

Younger me: “Alright me from the future, I’m listening”

Me: “You’ve only got $60 in your wallet, and your night is going to be really fun. When you plan on doing this again, you will need more money than that. A lot more money, at least $200.”

Younger me: “$200? That’s a lot of money!”

Me: “It may sound like a lot of money right now, but when you’re in the moment, the little head will convince the big head to go use the club’s ATM to withdraw cash.”

Younger me: “I have very good control of my spending.”

Me: “Trust me when I am telling you this. You are very easily controlled by sexy girls in their underwear that aren’t afraid to let strangers pay to say them naked. Your boner will cause you to spend big amounts of money that you otherwise wouldn’t spend.”

Younger me: “Alright, I will try to do my best. Any other advise you’d like to share, older me?”

Me: “Yes. The strip clubs where you live completely suck. While the clubs do serve alcohol, and the girls get completely nude on stage, no touching is allowed.”

Younger me: “Isn’t it against the rules to touch strippers? I would think she would go tell a bouncer and then I would get thrown out of the club.”

Me: “Those rules are dependent on where you live. Where you live now, yes, you do have to follow those rules. But, there are other cities in the U.S. where not only are you allowed to touch strippers, but you are encouraged to.”

Younger me: “Where do I need to go if I want to touch some boobs?”

Me: “Just save your money and move to Detroit.”

For me it was simple. There were boobs everywhere. Boobs = brilliant!

Of course, I had no idea some of the crazy stories on here were true. Those crazy stories weren't even on my radar as possibilities.

Although I suspect some percentage of the crazy stories that get told on TUSCL are fiction at least some are plausible given my experiences and are no doubt true. To that I have on thing to say: ace! ;)

I should clarify that I have no direct experience of the rickdugan-style driving drunk with a stripper that has a warrant for her arrest crazy stories.

I'm extrapolating from occasional experiences in the club. I've seen enough to put the rickdugan-level craziness in the plausible zone.

But, for the record, the driving drunk part = not brilliant! My hat is off to the guy for his other craziness. ;)

Older Me: Hi, I’m you from the future.

Younger Me: Gah! What did I do to get so ugly?

OM: Take care of your back.

YM: Uh, ok.

OM: And this is gonna turn out way better than you ever thought.

YM: You mean my dick is gonna get bigger?

OM: Umm...

I'd tell my younger self not to waste my time or money in Chicago air dance clubs (sure, the Admiral Club has the hottest girls, but there's no reward), and to save up for trip to TJ.

This is a kind of funny discussion. I went to my first strip club when i was 21 and it was pre-recession. Even pre-dot-com bust. Given my location at the time, i don't think any of the better clubs now or even fairly recently were that good back then. Heck, my two favorite ones didn't even exist yet and i traveled over 2 hours to see some tits ass and pussy. And yes i did go with the expectation that i was just going to just be able to see and nothing else, so actually getting some boobie motorboating and light grinding was beyond my expectations even for $20 which was worth almost twice as much back then.

Also at that time, i had no money to invest, so even if my current favorite clubs magically poofed into existence back then, i wasn't going to be able to have any real fun in them, certainly not like now. So i would just let the younger me do it all over again. The current me wouldn't even bother going into that club. My how perspectives change...

If i had it to do over i would not have waited over 20 years to go back to tj!

Just because Howard Stern promoted it doesn't mean it's worth going to........

I don't even remember the first time, other than the location.

I wouldn’t have overtipped so much