My ramblings about SS
nicespice
During that time, I also wasn’t able to act the normal way I do when speaking with a customer. I was completely honest about myself, both personality wise and also my personal background.
After he went off somewhere (Wish I could have said goodbye properly, by the way), I spent the rest of the night stacking dances. What people here call “stripper shit” was back up in full force with topics like my personal background, etc.
I normally can lie pathologically no problem, but hearing my own bullshit was weird when this was directly after hanging out with a TUSCLer.
I don’t say “stripper shit” to patrons offensively. It’s defensive, because if I don’t, then I get stuck with time wasters instead of actual customers.
Which led me to thinking about dancers in general.
Almost no dancer wants to be viewed as a civilian girl. That’s someone who is incompetent at their job.
Which leads to dancers saying SS stuff at each other as well.
During one part of the conversation with Dr Evil, I said that I didn’t really notice that much hatred with SW. He begged to differ. And then I thought about it and I realized I’m probably desensitized because I spend enough time in club dressing rooms.
In my experience, in strip club dressing rooms, it’s acceptable to loudly brag about being a ROB. But only in some clubs is it okay to admit to do extras. And the ones who do admit to it are quick to tell you how they always break a grand or several.
The bravado can be a bit much and I don’t really befriend other dancers at work. I might just be too much of a goofball, lol. The dancer friends I do have, I didn’t meet them at work.
That being said, I don’t view Stripperweb/dressing room talk as hateful. It’s insecurity. Everyone has dealt with boundary pushing customers, both physically and emotionally. The attitude is also more defensive than offensive, in my opinion.
On the surface, it seems like the kind of customer who would write a review being blunt about extras would be more likely to be a boundary pushing asshole.
I assumed that as well. But after spending more time on the discussion board, I suspect now that it’s actually the reverse. It’s out of respect for consent that I think the most PLs try to find an option that is welcoming for himself.
It’s also what I think will keep the dancer directory limited. I believe that most dancers feel uncomfortable being rated and face the possibility of being viewed as something other than how she view herself. Controlling the narrative and all.
I do have to say, it was a welcome break from monotony that I spoke candidly without SS yesterday. But I don’t think I could do that all the time, lol.
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74 comments
- are you admitting that a lot of strippers run SS on their co-workers as well?
You've given me a new view on SS. You're saying SS is a stripper talking trash, maybe making up stuff or putting on a front to a customer to loosen his wallet. Like "you're so handsome" just so a guy will buy some dances, VIP, etc. To me that's just a standard part of the job, not SS.
To me (and I think many other PLs on here) SS is when you set an OTC date with a stripper and she flakes, or they miscount a song set, or they txt you to come see them at the club, then you txt them back and they never respond. That's true SS in my opinion.
But yes, nicespice's perspective is interesting and adds a bit more nuance to a term we like to toss around.
I thought it was interesting how you said you can usually lie pathologically but after hanging with Dr. E you starting actually catching your own SS. I always wondered if that's something that dancers just pick up from the job, lying a lot. Or do you just already have to be a great fibber to succeed as a dancer? I guess there's no such thing as an honest dancer. Seems all the dancers I get to know for more than just a set of dances blurts out lies like it's nothing. I mean sure it helps to lie to a customer about him being attractive, or his dick being he biggest you ever felt. But it seems like they lie about all other types of shit also.
So regardless of what actually constitutes SS, I don’t take much of anything in a club at face value and I don’t blame strippers for doing what they feel they need to do, consciously or unconsciously, to not become prey. We say on here that they are young ladies in their underwear. They either know that or sense that much better than we customers do.
As a customer, I’m sure I’m doing or saying what I need to in order to not get outmanuevered, whether I realize it or not. But I don’t work in a club and have to do that all the time. I would think it would be a damn tough place to work and keep one’s head screwed on straight if a stripper didn’t have quite a bit of emotional maturity and an meaningful outside life.
It seems to me that lying to customers is an essential part of a stripper's job. A dancer lies to make the customer feel good ("you're so handsome, smart, funny, interesting, attractive, etc."). A dancer also lies to make herself appealing and to protect herself. The lies go too far only when the dancer ROBs or harms or exploits a customer.
I think the glossary said “anything a stripper says to separate a PL from his money” or something.
@Zoey and @Ish Yep, I think so.
@Sirlap It might be your clear MO that helps counter it. It may be slightly different for another customer who wants a different fantasy.
@TFP I’d say for me, it’s definitely a pick up on the job thing. I remember not having a persona when I was a baby stripper and I wasted too much time with customers who took that as a weakness and dick me around on spending.
For example last night someone asked me “oh you got a boyfriend?”
I told him that I haven’t had a boyfriend in two years. I had a girlfriend in Austin but she gave me drama and kicked me out and that’s why I’m here in San Antonio.
And after all that drama I maaay wanna switch back to dick.
Couple minutes later, start giving five dances in a row.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iBgTqz_…
Thank you. It is very nice to hear an honest account from a dancer. Seeing things from your perspective and sharing your insights is much appreciated.
@Sirlap I like to minimize it when I can. But the SS is there when necessary.
Like for example, when I said how I lied about having a crazy ex girlfriend it’s because I’ve dealt that question plenty of times over and had trial and error.
Answer yes and you kill the fantasy and they spend less. (I was dumb enough to actually do this when I was new. The guy himself said I should have lied, lol)
Answer no and the customer often counters with the “What? A beautiful girl like you doesn’t have a boyfriend! That’s impossible!” And then proceeds to try to suck up time asking for OTC.
Nina did talk about how she was offered an internship because of someone she met. So there is definitely merit to being honest.
But I’m not too sure about that in my case. I actually did get honest about that with a regular that I was in school pursuing a degree, but when I answered honestly there was an awkward pause. Thinking back I should have said something like “Nursing.” It sounds more sweet and sexy than what I am actually going for.
I do hear a lot of this as well. I feel like strippers are insecure around other strippers and make shit up all the time as a result. It isn't just customers at the club that deal with stripper bullshit!
I’ve made the mistake of meeting with a friend and answering honestly when asked how much I made my last shift. Should have lied down, but I was tired. A couple minutes later, she tells me a number that’s $30 higher than me on her last shift.
But she was working in a downscale San Antonio club that offers $5 lapper specials while I was at an upscale Austin club. Like of course it would be easier for me to make money, it didn’t have to be a competition thing.
Being a ROB is being intentionally malicious and different from SS (e.g. "give me $200 now and I'll stop by your hotel later", etc).
And Nicespice, great discussion topic.
For me at first it was hard SW hate, but I have come to understand it as just necessary venting about customers who are nothing like me. Even my CF is a occasional harcore ROB and it can be uncomfortable listening to her brag about it. But again, none of that is directed towards me.
It makes me think of this portlandia skit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT-nzPyh…
For me at first it was hard to read SW hate
Sounds like the lying, exaggeration, bravado, deceit have very different goals depending on the audience.
The lying with customers is designed to string them along and make more money.
The lying with other strippers seems to have two functions-- to enhance status (I made more money than you did) and to avoid censure by your co workers (oh no, I'd never do extras in the club or agree to meet a customer for OTC).
And I agree with the ROB/aSstuff.
@PaulDrake Hehe yeah, maybe she is an occasional ROB bitch with asshole customers, though she seems very low in SS levels if she told you that.
@blahblah, lol nah if he went with you, then it’s all on him. The other one can quit her whining if she was doing that.
@electronman true
I separate things into harmless bullshit and harmful bullshit. I don’t fault anyone for the former and don’t condone the latter.
I think it’s a balancing act. Among strippers, most agree that the best earners are the ones who have been working for less than six months and also the ones who have perfected their technique to become really good at it.
It’s the intermediate levels of SS that tend to earn less.
@Mamisan SirLap is also Asian and he gives better massages than I would. ;)
And you already know I only massage women and leave the yanky wanky to myself. :p
Some of it is just being a fresh face, but I believe most customers do have a sixth sense when a dancer is truly new. I think it’s because new girls not only say less SS, but also express more genuine vulnerability.
@Sirlap :p
Remember, SS is mostly just insincere flattery, or some kinds of pleas for money or such.
That stops cold once you take the lead, she either gets real with you, or she is totally green light.
So select the girl you want to be walking up in the mornings with, approach her yourself and get a front room makeout session going. Invite her to the back room only when it is time for your own pants to come down, and then take her home with you and continue to see her regularly.
SJG
Giordano Bruno: Magician & Gnostic Saint
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEzNb1A1…
SJG
Giordano Bruno: Magician & Gnostic Saint
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEzNb1A1…
related extremely good book:
Hermetic Deleuze
https://www.amazon.com/Hermetic-Deleuze-…
@nicespice - "Genuine vulnerability" is a good way of describing it. For me with really experienced dancers they have stock answers for all of the normal top 100 questions. So it can feel like any conversation is almost like they are just reading off of a script.
@blahblahblah23 - Yeah the lack of veiled disdain is really nice to be around. Also personally I would say I am the opposite when it comes to new dancers. I am way more cautious around them and more likely to get verbal approval before trying anything.
SJG
san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is widely mocked and considered potentially mentally unstable, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate
SJG
That is smart of you.
SJG
Hey glad you had a great time and Drevil sounds like one of the cooler guys here, so cgrats and make sure to invite us to the wedding :P
As far as SS or BS it always comes from insecurity and doesn't apply to dancers but to custies as well. I see it as part of the act and as long as it doesn't interfere with my entertainment, blow right thru it or bust them right there (figuratively of course)
You may be right, stripfighter. I tend to get insecure when I make less than $200.
@sirlap hmm, aside from BSing about my job to some people, I don’t think it has affected me too much.
As an example yesterday I was with my ATF DS and at the same time another PL was with his ATF stripper who is an ITC friend of mine and always talks with me "platonically". With my ATF DS we don't talk a whole lot and our time together is a massage and some spooning to the music. We small talk with others at the bar and sometimes she shares what she's looking at on her phone (funny Instagrams and her own social media stuff). By contrast the other PL and his ATF are sitting side by side and he is always talking and talking to her and I always just see her staring at him and nodding her head. They have very limited physical interactions. Then I'll go get 2-3 dances with my ATF DS and he'll still be sitting there talking to his ATF when we are done. I see them that way for hours. And the stripper has confirmed to me when he is not around that he just wants to talk with her for hours 90% of the time. He compensates her well for the time.
So I guess now my question is, all other things equal (like the money and his looks/personality), would you prefer a low SS high physical interactions with a regular or high SS and conversation and limited physical interactions?
If you lead it, it will entail more money, but it can also mean getting more personal and involved with the girl, with a likely objective of GFE FS, followed by regular outside contact. In such a situation, SS is meaningless.
SJG
Bob Seger - Mainstreet , the Sunnyvale Hip Hugger was so much like this. So too was Sporty's Bar ( formerly Candid Club, formerly Richard's Lounge, didn't even have a stage back then ) I always listened to this song before I had ever been into any such places.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoVCxQtQ…
Outside of a narrow script, SS is no longer effective, it is not even possible to maintain.
SJG
With my high SS/emotional appeals, I have to deal with constantly churning regulars who start to annoy me. They always start out great until inevitably they start demanding more of my time for less money. I have one regular currently and judging by his text today I’m probably going to have to quit talking to him soon.
But to be fair, I’m probably making some errors. I was, for seven months, at a club where every night it was a new face and very few club regulars. (And those regulars were non-spenders.)
Originally, I had my stage name in the dancer directory but I took that out. I’m way too candid about myself on here.
It’s easy to SS at a stranger who knows nothing about me. But otherwise I couldn’t.
But yeah, I think you just come from a different place. You’re a happily married guy who LDKs as a loophole to cheating, so you don’t require much.
Most customers who become a regular are either single or unhappy in their relationship.
SJG
And my motivation if anything is more from being a naturally horny fucker that yeah doesn't want to "cheat" on her and it's also a bit of mid life crisis. Strip clubs have made me feel like a young stud again and which to me is the basic premise of them to begin with. And so yeah I think I do become an easy customer that really only wants and needs physical tease and only SS with respect to that is all that will "work" for me. Also I want to make a stripper feel beautiful and sexy the entire time as well. I want a mutually fun time together for the hour or so we have together and I think this is why I'm so easy to my faves. I think I could go the entire visit without talking with any of them at all and still have a good time.
And ultimately what happens with me over the long haul with my faves is that some of them end up opening up more to me than I do them. Like I won't share pics of my personal life but some will go though their social media with me. And it's not that they want to be my GF in doing it, it's only because they trust me not to take any of it the wrong way. And then the other types of faves I have will be like me and just talk minimally about SOs and personal issues.
From what I’ve heard, the Dallas area has better money making potential than the cities I work at. But I’m not going to criticize her hustle. Everyone works at the comfort level they like best, and maybe she is just comfortable with her earnings.
@Sirlap Maybe it’s the weed making them forget about the teasing :p