I got some advice from an old man about 15 years ago about getting married. He told me to pick a girl with big boobs. He told me to make sure I can stick her nipples in my ears so I could hear my gun go off.
When people insist on monogamy, then that one partner is always going to be seen as having deficiencies. Once you jettison monogamy, then both partners can just let go.
I have encountered relatively few happily married couples in my life, but from what I've observed a good marriage seems to have the following ingredients:
1. One partner submits. It goes against the whole "equality" and "50/50" thing we push for in the States, but in reality I feel like any successful relationship requires one partner taking the leadership position and the other partner conceding that to the other partner. It seems like the partner that concedes is usually the husband.
2. Having separate hobbies and making time for oneself. Again, fantasy says that a happy couple wants to spend every waking second with each other, but that sounds really suffocating. The happy couples I meet make sure to pursue their own hobbies and have built inactivities that leave some separation time from each other. Marriage doesn't mean a person stops being an individual.
3. Realistic expectations and similar goals. I have an older co-worker approaching retirement who seems genuinely happy to be married to his wife. He would tell me all the time how he used to make tons of money. Hearing this I assumed by "tons of money" he meant at least six figures, but it turns out in his previous job he was making mid-five figures. Not what I imagined in my head when I think of tons of money, but it was a lot to him and he was happy with what he once made. He talks a lot about retiring in a few years and getting an RV so he can drive across the country with his wife. He seemed genuinely happy about it even if his dreams are not as lofty as mine: millionaire athlete/entertainer jet-setting across the planet for pretty women to have sex with.
4. Sexual compatibility. Compatibility in general, but sex is a huge part of any relationship. If one partner feels frustrated long-term then that is a recipe for disaster. Maybe this sounds messed up, but I think once in awhile if one partner feels real horny and the other doesn't feel too excited they should still be willing to have sex to provide the partner a release. Sex can fix a lot of the frustrations and stress that comes with a relationship.
Those are just my brief thoughts and observations.
Just a thought on finding that one special girl in your life to have amazing compatible sex with. If you show me a really hot woman, I can find you someone tired of fucking her.
I'm sorry about that. I hope you guys can push through and figure something out. Have you two considered marriage counseling? I heard it can be great as long as you get the right counselor.
@ Meat72
Ha ha! Yeah, I imagine that's true for a lot of couples. I think the couples who make it work long term seem to make a concrete effort to spice up the bed as far as they can agree to, and also do a lot of fun activities outside of sex too. It's rare to find though.
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SJG
SJG
TJ Street
https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7290/96201…
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2879/9616…
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5494/96200…
https://farm8.static.flickr.com/7403/961…
http://i1107.photobucket.com/albums/h391…
1. One partner submits. It goes against the whole "equality" and "50/50" thing we push for in the States, but in reality I feel like any successful relationship requires one partner taking the leadership position and the other partner conceding that to the other partner. It seems like the partner that concedes is usually the husband.
2. Having separate hobbies and making time for oneself. Again, fantasy says that a happy couple wants to spend every waking second with each other, but that sounds really suffocating. The happy couples I meet make sure to pursue their own hobbies and have built inactivities that leave some separation time from each other. Marriage doesn't mean a person stops being an individual.
3. Realistic expectations and similar goals. I have an older co-worker approaching retirement who seems genuinely happy to be married to his wife. He would tell me all the time how he used to make tons of money. Hearing this I assumed by "tons of money" he meant at least six figures, but it turns out in his previous job he was making mid-five figures. Not what I imagined in my head when I think of tons of money, but it was a lot to him and he was happy with what he once made. He talks a lot about retiring in a few years and getting an RV so he can drive across the country with his wife. He seemed genuinely happy about it even if his dreams are not as lofty as mine: millionaire athlete/entertainer jet-setting across the planet for pretty women to have sex with.
4. Sexual compatibility. Compatibility in general, but sex is a huge part of any relationship. If one partner feels frustrated long-term then that is a recipe for disaster. Maybe this sounds messed up, but I think once in awhile if one partner feels real horny and the other doesn't feel too excited they should still be willing to have sex to provide the partner a release. Sex can fix a lot of the frustrations and stress that comes with a relationship.
Those are just my brief thoughts and observations.
SJG
Seymour Hersh
https://www.democracynow.org/shows/2018/…
TJ Street
Girl that knows how to dress to please!
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https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7290/96201…
DSPACE, the German Company I've seen lots of stuff from
https://www.dspace.com/en/inc/home.cfm
DSPACE, something totally different
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSpace
https://duraspace.org/dspace/
I'm sorry about that. I hope you guys can push through and figure something out. Have you two considered marriage counseling? I heard it can be great as long as you get the right counselor.
@ Meat72
Ha ha! Yeah, I imagine that's true for a lot of couples. I think the couples who make it work long term seem to make a concrete effort to spice up the bed as far as they can agree to, and also do a lot of fun activities outside of sex too. It's rare to find though.