Am I... are we all a bunch of sex addicts?

PaulDrake
Off again on again PL
So over the course of my life I have been someone who has really seriously struggled not to stare at women in public. I have learned to control it but the urge and thoughts are always there in a dramatically more intense way than any other man that I know.

Up until late last year I had never been to a strip club. Once I started one of the things that really surprised me is that spending time in the SC would almost eliminate the urge to stare and fantasize about every single random attractive women in public.

I felt like for the first time I was experiencing what normal was to most guys.

Now that I am 6 months in on going to strip clubs weekly I have given some deep introspection about myself. Before my now weekly SC habit I was definitely addicted to porn. Am I a sex addict? If I am one I am a highly functioning sex addict as my addiction hasn't caused much of any negative life impact.

Going to strip clubs regularly is definitely listed as a sign you are a sex addict. Do any of you guys feel you fall into that category?

37 comments

Latest

Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Are you a food addict bc you eat everyday or a sleep addict bc you sleep everyday?

Sex is a *biological* need that even cavemen sought to satisfy - your strong sexual desires are just a *normal* reaction to them not being satisfied like craving food or sleep when your body hasn't been satisfied with those.

America is too uptight about sex and this has bad side-effects - a healthy man craving sex is often made to feel like some kinda pervert when again it's a natural strong desire that even cavemen had and seeked to fulfill - nothing wrong with tending to one's needs and in fact it's more harmful not to.
Jascoi
6 years ago
yes.
twentyfive
6 years ago
As Papi said I wouldn’t call it addiction, having a healthy libido is a sign of health, not a sickness. I strongly disagree with your hypothesis.
Warrior15
6 years ago
I like to think I just have a large "appetite" for sexual activity.
Cashman1234
6 years ago
I think Papi offered a very good assessment of human needs for sex. If you don’t satisfy your needs - it can cause issues in other areas of life. So I think it’s natural - and you’ve found a way to handle your natural desires.
jackslash
6 years ago
I'm not a sex addict. I'm a sex aficionado.
Warrenboy75
6 years ago
I think when whatever you do becomes destructive to your well being, or impacts those around you in a negative way and you can't stop regardless then you need to step back.

With women and stripclubs, SA or any other type of P4P interaction I always feel it is about what part of your income and what percentage it accounts for your interaction with women. If either become excessive and you can't slow down then you need to consider if you have a problem.
ATACdawg
6 years ago
I could stop any time I wanted to ........
Huntsman
6 years ago
+1 to Papi’s comment
shailynn
6 years ago
What do we consider a sex addict? To me a sex addict is quite impressive, that means you’re probably bedding multiple partners and have sex on a daily basis.

Now, if you’re watching porn everyday or masturbating multiple times a day, I’m not so sure that’s labeled in the sex addict category. Are you addicted to porn? Addicted to masturbating? Now, those don’t sound as cool as a sex addict do they?
PaulDrake
6 years ago
@papi - Fair points. However just because we need to eat it wouldn't be normal or healthy behavior for someone to fantasize about food constantly all day long.
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Addiction is typically associated with destructive behaviors over which you have little or no control. Addiction is also associated with actions that are performed as a function of compulsion rather than enjoyment. So... it's a moving target, but I do think that sex addiction is a real thing.

It's also highly likely that this website has more sex addicts present than other forums by comparison. That said, I think it's far more likely that you're sex obsessed, rather than a sex addict. Call it 'sex addiction lite'.

I would be wary of the signs of addiction creeping into your obsession, but not worry too much about it.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
@Drake

Don't eat all day and see how much you start thinking about food especially if someone next to you is eating a delicious meal
flagooner
6 years ago
I'm hungry
GACA
6 years ago
You may be a sex addict. Doubtful but check into it.

That said addiction is usually associated with feelings of low self worth. The addict is trying to escape the painful emotional experience that is daily life through behavior and habits that usually lead to other parts of their lives falling apart. Constantly on the edge of their house of cards falling apart.

If you feel like this describes you get professional help before you end up in an endless cycle.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
If one is a healthy male, particularly if young, and one is not getting satisfying sex on a regular basis, then it'd probably be more concerning that he wasn't thinking about sex.
GACA
6 years ago
Then again, you could just be suffering from low impulse control issues. And in that case... Get a hold of yourself dammit
shailynn
6 years ago
Yeah, move a stripper in with you and that will set you straight real quick. All you’ll be thinking about is how to move her out.
GACA
6 years ago
^^^^ @Shy --- actually all you're thinking about is how long you can keep stalling the marriage proposal she been demanding since week 2 so you can squeeze as many of your truly deviant sexual fantasies in before that bubble bursts :)
Huntsman
6 years ago
I think sex addiction is probably a real thing but it’s become a popular issue, often self-diagnosed. In other words, it’s trendy. Kind of like lots of folks claiming gluten intolerance. It’s a real thing but not nearly as prevelant from a clinical standpoint as commonly thought.

If one is actually addicted, there is an inability or very little ability to control destructive behavior. In many of our tuscl cases of overdoing our mongering, GACA’s “get ahold of yourself dammit” should be sufficient.
flagooner
6 years ago
^ it's trendy, kinda like calling oneself a Libertarian.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
The manners of strip clubs, looking women over, will get you into trouble in many venues, but not in all.

But anyone who lives only for that endorphin rush of ejaculation, rather than actually wanting to know the women and fuck them until they are really emotionally effected by it, is definitely an addict.

Paying for ejaculation services just means that you live in the realm of the hungry ghosts.

https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghos…

SJG
Youre addicted to porn........cant the other men bedides urself commenting here tell that u are a sex addict..smh
I.used to.be addicted to porn (i am.queen of sex drive when im.not.happy) so im.not judging..lol.im.just telling u so u can six
mjx01
6 years ago
no. wanting to shag lots of women of prime fertility is normal.
Jascoi
6 years ago
i AM NOT AN ADDICT. i can quit anytime i want. for about three minutes.
JAprufrock
6 years ago
Papi nailed it. I think we'd be a happier society in the USA if sex were readily available for legal purchase, like it is in much of Europe and in Tijuana.
K
6 years ago
A few rambling thoughts while I enjoy my second cup of coffee

Much of the concept "sex addict" is rooted in the belief there Is something wrong with sex or multiple partners. Other than the possibility of disease, no one has ever been able to tell me what is wrong with frequent sex with a variety of partners. I've been told it is disgusting, not normal and many other judgmental opinions.
Our society has an unhealthy view of sex and sex workers. Many of the supposed problems with sex or sex workers comes from our prudish culture. People beat themselves up over guilt they should not feel. People pass judgement on others that make different choices.

If this aspect of your life is not getting in the way of other things you want and value, and you are not hurting those you care for, what is the problem?
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
^^^^ Not saying anything is wrong about sex. Actually, ejaculation occurs because you are lot letting it go deeper. That is, in both men and women, climax occurs when the sympathetic nervous system takes over from the para-sympathetic. It is when you try to regain control.

The issue is the ejaculation services, instead of getting the woman opened up so she just lets it happen.

SJG
PaulDrake
6 years ago
Interesting discussion guys!

I think Papi's point about sex being a driving natural need is totally true. But for sure some of us on this forum are sex addicts in an unhealthy way. A lot of guys here spend a vast sum of money and effort and basically their entire lives in the pursuit of paid sexual experience. I remember a few weeks ago there was a guy who was talking about practically starving himself to save up for a trip to Mexico. Some of this is clearly not healthy.

In my case I am a person that if I can identify and understand my weaknesses I can manage them. So I want to be full in touch with my weakness and unfulfilled needs in this arena.

I think to be a really good regular strip club connesiuer it helps to be "blissfully ignorant". It is one thing I have noticed a lot here with many forum members and maybe it applies to this as well.
JAprufrock
6 years ago
Good stuff, Paul. That guy who was practically starving himself (eating cereal for dinner or something like that) and canceled his gym membership could be a case study of going over the top with this hobby. Hopefully he took the advice myself and others gave him, that heath comes before mongering.
JAprufrock
6 years ago
Wait a minute, I just realized I'm commenting in a post about sex addition while using that guy's photo as my avatar. How fucking ironic.
lopaw
6 years ago
Going to stripclubs regularly did not make me a sex addict.
It was the whores and the masseuses that did that.
Cashman1234
6 years ago
JAPrufrock - that’s very ironic - lol!

I keep seeing this discussion pop up - and I think we are the wrong group to assess our possibility of being sex addicts.
HungryGiraffe
6 years ago
Agree with Papi’s first comment.

Monogamy is a great way of life, but it’s not right for everyone. I’m polygamous and don’t want to be limited to being intimate with a single woman for my lifetime. I don’t want to depend on the whims of one person for the natural intimacy I need.

I club because it’s a super easy way to fulfill my need for physical intimacy. Strip clubs provide convenient instant gratification. For a relatively cheap price, I can access the full spectrum of adult entertainment from just looking at tits, to sexy convo, to a traditional GF relationship. I don’t consider this lifestyle/ entertainment choice anywhere close to sexual addiction. Clubbing is an additional activity/hobby in my life that makes me happy.

Same with porn. Looking at porn regularly doesn’t make me a sex addict. The dominant culture in many countries restricting nudity is what’s unnatural.
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
I don't think using strip clubs or P4P or other forms of polygamy makes anyone a sex addict. Its when one does not want to know these other partners, and instead just want that endorphin rush which comes with ejaculation.

SJG

Hitler's Ratline & the Nazi Cult in Diaspora
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_op19M4f…
HungryGiraffe
6 years ago
Meant to type “polyamorous”.
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