Girls that don’t want your money?

larryfisherman
California
There was this beautiful girl at the strip club the other day that really caught my eye. The three hours I was at that club she was on stage four times, I was at the stage tipping her every single time she was on stage. I definitely wanted to get dances with her, and I was hoping she would get the clue with me tipping her every time. I was hoping she would ask if she could sit with me and get some drinks or something after her stageset, or ask if I want dances, she didn’t though. To be fair though I didn’t tell her I wanted dances and I didn’t ask her to sit by me. After her stagesets she would thank me for tipping her, and then she would sit with another customer.

Finally I decided I would take matters into my own hands. After her fourth stageset I asked her if I could get some dances. She said she was talking to another customer, so not now. She called her friend over to enertain me in the meantime. I waited another hour, after the first customer she was talking to after I asked her for dances, she moved to another customer, she didn’t get back to me. I finally decided to cut my losses and go home.

I figured she didn’t want or need my money.

With girls that don’t seem to want your money, but you really want them, do you keep asking them, or you just move on to the next girl?

In my mind I had done enough. I tipped her all four times she was on stage, I asked her for dances. I’m not gonna keep asking her like a desperate man.

67 comments

  • Bj99
    6 years ago
    Sounds like she had a line. The second customer was prolly a regular, or an appointment.
  • twentyfive
    6 years ago
    Try changing your underwear, might help.
  • Rickberge
    6 years ago
    No. Usually they will get the hint that you want them. If not, its probably that they made their money for tonight & dont want to put in the energy of entertaining a customer.

    Just charge it to the game.
  • K
    6 years ago
    Maybe if you had asked sooner, she would not have a line
  • PaulDrake
    6 years ago
    I generally ask more directly when tipping:
    "Hey I would love to get a few dances with you when you get off stage. Do you have anything lined up?" If she says she is free then "Awesome, I will wait on you then, it's a date!"
  • Salty.Nutz
    6 years ago
    This happens a lot more then we would like to admit, but we turn a blind eye. No more stage tipping for ME.
  • Dolfan
    6 years ago
    If I see a girl I like, I'll tip her on stage and make it clear I'd like to talk to her. Depending on the club, I may just ask if I can have a dance when she's free or I may ask her to come have a drink with me at my table. In any case, she'll know with absolute certainty that I'm interested in her and intend to spend money. If she responds positively, I'll generally wait for her to complete her set and maybe go in the dressing room and freshen up if its not an extended time period. By wait I mean I'll stay at the club and generally turn away other girls who approach. If her response is anything else, I move on immediately. By move on, I don't mean I write her off and harbor any sort of hard feelings or walk out with my tail between my legs. I just mean I go back to my seat and the bar for accepting the company of another stripper is much lower than it would be if I was waiting on her; and if I see something else I like I may pursue it. I leave when I stop having fun.

    I don't wait for dancers with other customers. I may stay at the club and have fun with another dancer, sit back and watch the stage for a while, chat with a bartender/manager type, or do whatever. But I'm not sitting there with the expectation or hope that she's going to come over, I'm just having a good time. If she comes by and I'm free later, that's fine. If I leave without seeing her, thats fine too.

    We go over this all the time. Its probably not accurate to say that they don't want my money, or yours. It's more likely they just have reason to think their best chance at the best money/effort ratio is with the other customer. Maybe they're regulars, guys who've tipped the manager to request them, or given the dancer some other reason to expect good results. It's possible they're actual friends or otherwise getting something beyond money, like food, drinks, drugs, rides, other favors, that skew them.

    I guess maybe they don't want your money. Maybe you come off as cheap, creepy, desperate, handsy, etc. The fact that you're thinking of it as she doesn't want your money probably doesn't help. Relax, have a good time. Stressing out over one particular stripper is unlikely to lead to a good time. I'm a one stripper man myself, but even then I don't get all butthurt if things don't work out. I certainly don't worry about her not wanting my money.
  • Darkblue999
    6 years ago
    Your mistake was not asking her phone number.Looks like she is the in demand girl we been discussing. She has regulars lined up. Next time get her number and tell her that you want to spend couple hours with her and mention that you will pay more if she is so busy.It s all money.
  • Darkblue999
    6 years ago
    Few days back I got a girl to spend with me whole night I was there.She kept on rejecting other guys.Same scenario happened with you.
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    Sorry if I want a girl I throw more money than average at it (premium money at it)

    Next time let her know it'd be worth her time.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Don't be so creepy.
  • Salty.Nutz
    6 years ago
    So whats a premium stage tip?
  • AnonymousJim
    6 years ago
    This happens to me occasionally, too.

    Could be a regular customer of hers.

    Could be a whale that bought her attention for the night.

    Could be she smells, rightly or wrongly, a better chance of doing a room with the other customer, or had already did one.

    Could be as described above: She had made her money for the night and just found one guy, maybe the one that did the trick, that she was into.

    She could be on club orders to entertain an important club investor or city official.

    She could just be more into the other guy than you. This could mean she's really into the other guy, or really doesn't like you.

    Could be just about anything. The good news is, there's always next time.
  • max_starr
    6 years ago
    how much did you tip her on stage...I find that 5's, 10's, and even 20's seem to help :)
  • max_starr
    6 years ago
    But no seriously like other people said, be more direct...tell her you want her and ask when she's available...I've learned over the years myself the more you communicate the better off you are...When I was a young lad, I'd just sit there and think they're going to come over and sweep me off my feed....Never gonna happen...
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    Fuck a premium stage tip...

    "Hey {girl's name} I wanna a few dances (notice more than 1 dance)

    I'll pay (whatever standard rate) plus provide a 5-10 dollar tip each song on top of it."


    That's what I call getting her attention. Next time she'll be running to you then you can have more negotiating leverage. But you niggas mess up tryna be cheap up front.

  • GACA
    6 years ago
    First impressions niggas. First impressions. Jeesh.
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    Guess being a man of color I always new I had to establish credibility up front before I'm able to take advantage of any situation. Jobs, relationships, etc.

  • GACA
    6 years ago
    I feel like white guys walk around with a ton of entitlement issues, which hilariously you say people of color have.

  • shailynn
    6 years ago
    Now strippers won’t even take money from Fishsticks!!!!
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    Oh fishsticks... Nigga get your act together brotha you embarrassing us.

  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Lol. Fishstix is black.
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    Sooooo... I take back my rant. It was Carlton fishsticks , no wonder they won't take his money.
  • K
    6 years ago
    ". Maybe you come off as cheap, creepy, desperate, handsy, etc. "
    I refuse to believe anyone posting here would come off as anything but confident, sophisticated and urbane.
  • larryfisherman
    6 years ago
    I probably tipped her average around $8 per stage set.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    6 years ago
    A dancer will never say "I don't have time for you tonight." or whatever. Dancers want all of our money, but the algorithm on what they're willing to do and for who is far more complex.

    It sounds like she was sticking to sure(r) things. We do that as well, sometimes.
  • Salty.Nutz
    6 years ago
    I thought you meant premium tip on stage...thanks for inputting something thats transparant and we can try and not some generalized theory that OP is desperate/creepy

    "Hey {girl's name} I wanna a few dances (notice more than 1 dance)

    I'll pay (whatever standard rate) plus provide a 5-10 dollar tip each song on top of it.
  • larryfisherman
    6 years ago
    @darkblue- I’m not gonna ask for her number when I’ve never had a dance or conversation or anything with her. High possibility she wouldn’t give her number if I asked her then.

    I don’t have a creepy vibe, and I’m not cheap. I could never get dances at the 5 buck Miami and Atlanta black spots. Way too cheap, I don’t feel good giving a girl 5 bucks for a lap dance.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    6 years ago
    $8 per set isn't what I call attention-getting.

    Personally, I'm not a fan of getting dances at stageside. If I want to get a dancers attention, I'll approach the stage, not sit down, tip $20,and tell her "I'd like to buy you a drink and get some dances if you're available." I get a variety of responses, but ultimately most will come see me after their set.

    If she doesn't or is wrapped up with regulars, I shrug it off. $20 is small money in a strip club. Also, I've had a dancer who couldn't be with me that night come directly to me on a different night.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    6 years ago
    $8 per set isn't what I call attention-getting.

    Personally, I'm not a fan of getting dances at stageside. If I want to get a dancers attention, I'll approach the stage, not sit down, tip $20,and tell her "I'd like to buy you a drink and get some dances if you're available." I get a variety of responses, but ultimately most will come see me after their set.

    If she doesn't or is wrapped up with regulars, I shrug it off. $20 is small money in a strip club. Also, I've had a dancer who couldn't be with me that night come directly to me on a different night.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    6 years ago
    Dammit. Sorry about the double post.
  • Countryman5434
    6 years ago
    I would wait forever to be bj99's atm! Make it rain for tge goddess of tuscl!
  • GACA
    6 years ago
    $8 per set on top of the standard dance rate ain't cheap either. Most girls do the math and will jump at it. They know it's $25 plus $30-$90 (depending on the club) in their pocket.

  • larryfisherman
    6 years ago
    I didn’t say $8 was attention getting, I said I was hoping she would get the clue I was into her because I tipped her on all four of her stage sets.

    In hindsight I should have been direct earlier.
  • skibum609
    6 years ago
    Where I club there is a dancer who, while not my type physically and a decidedly non-extras girl, is someone I want to get dances from. Tip her at the stage. Have asked her to sit with me. Always busy, always next time, I have given up and gone back to trying twice. Finally accepted that she simply didn't like me. Six months after I quit trying I was getting another dancer hi on the patio and the subject of why people click and why they don't came up and I used her as an example of someone just not liking me to the point where they didn't like my money either. She laughed, told me I was wrong and then told me that the first time I tipped her I had made the dancer I was going to get dances with wait, who I had a lot of experience with and figured she wouldn't mind (not my atf), and that she had "claimed" me as a customer and threatened the other dancer. Not being sure if its true or not I now get dances from neither and ignore them both. I still smoke with the other dancer, but that's just friendship.
  • max_starr
    6 years ago
    @Che I like your style....going to use that .... I think dollar bills on stage are insulting personally.
  • Jascoi
    6 years ago
    noticed that other double posts happening today.

    i was at a table in hk and a cute girl at another booth was looking at me occasionally during her time with a whale... they finally went arriba and when she returned to the floor she was heading my way... suddenly she saw another whale motion her over and... she did. didn’t see her again the rest of the nite. dang.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    Some girls are clueless. Who really knows what dancers are thinking? Maybe she thought you were just a stage tipper albeit generous, although some girls aren't even impressed with rain. Did she look impressed or appreciative of your stage tips? Sometimes you just have to be direct and tell her you would like to see her later or if she was available for dances than the ball is in her court.
  • Subraman
    6 years ago
    -->"Finally I decided I would take matters into my own hands. After her fourth stageset I asked her if I could get some dances. She said she was talking to another customer, so not now. She called her friend over to enertain me in the meantime"

    When I'm with my ATF, I'm the "another customer" ... and, contrary to some of the advice you're getting above, I once saw a guy tip her $100 at the stage and ask her for dances, and she came back to me anyway. The most I ever do when I'm the customer hoping to get a girl, is to catch her on stage and tell her "if you're not with another customer, I'm interested in dances"... and if she says she IS with another customer, I just move on and plan to catch her another day (apropos our "do you talk to staff" thread, I'll sometimes text the manager or bouncer to see if she's in, for next time). I don't think dropping big $ at stage is a good investment -- a girl with an appointment with her best regular, is not going to give up a steady $400 weekly (or whatever), just because a guy who might be a transient PL gives her $20 at stage; why throw away the money. Just tell her, you're interested in dances, and that's that.

    Of course, this is the perspective from a guy who specializes in trying to find the slowest, low-hustle dayshifts. I realize this might not work as well at a busy nightshift, but nevertheless, it's the same process I follow on busy nightshift, too
  • WillMunny
    6 years ago
    Let us all remember the wisdom of Lopaw:

    "I'll pay for pussy, and I'll beg for pussy, but I won't beg to pay for pussy."

    Show some self-respect and act like you been there before....
  • Subraman
    6 years ago
    BTW, I do think "girls who don't want your money" is the most butthurt, violation of rule #2 (don't be a little bitch) way of thinking about this. I just don't see how you can enjoy the SC if you take everything as a personal insult. Speaking generically, when a girl does this, it's just a girl who made a business decision for herself, almost certainly not personal towards you, right? I mean, I do think strippers sometimes have a personal reason for not dancing for you, but no reason to think that was the case here
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    'If she doesn't or is wrapped up with regulars, I shrug it off. $20 is small money in a strip club."

    I will try to explain my observations so it makes sense but that is not true at all, for me. Yes, $20 is "small money" but in my experience if a ho has made up her mind about you a 20 isnt going to change it. I dont think ben franklin could change some of their minds about you. With that said, if a hoe has time for you it shouldnt take any exorbitant amount of money to convince her to further still take more of your money. I personally am not a fan of giving a stripper big money, to prove i am "worthy" of giving her more money. So these days i wouldnt tip a stripper a $20 based on principle. If i had assurances she would make time for me, maybe. But in my experience, there are no assurances and so rather than give that $20 to one of those strippers(who would blow me off) I'd rather flush that $20 down the toilet. Just because i dont want her to have it.
  • JohnSmith69
    6 years ago
    The problem is not that she didn’t want your money. Rather the problem is that you didn’t know how to get her to play with you instead of the many other guys who wanted her pussy. I’d you want a girl like this on a busy night then you have to be aggressive.

    Real quick here’s how I would get her. No guarantee this would work but it’s got a lot better shot than the OP’s efforts. The first time she is on stage I would tip her generously and then have a little talk. I would tell her that I can see how popular she is but I have a lot more money to spend than these other losers and I want to spend it on her. I’d tell her that I have a big stack of Benjamins with her name on it and all she has to do to get them is come and play with me instead of them.

  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    I can guarantee she would have gladly taken your money if you made it rain $30K.
  • JohnSmith69
    6 years ago
    And I don’t beg for pussy. I just make it clear that if she wants money I’m the guy she should cum to. If she still rejects my offer then I just go play with another one. Or go to another club if I have to. But more often than not the object of my lust finds her way to my table pretty promptly.
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    In regards to OP, it could be any number of reasons as others have stated:

    -she has made her money and waiting to leave

    -she has a whale or regular(understandable)

    -could be something about you in particular

    -some strippers only see old white guys itc(so its not just you)

    -or any number of other reasons


    Dont obsess over it. Just cut your losses(if it is your loss, idk) and move on.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Don't most clubs have more than one dancer?
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    "Don't most clubs have more than one dancer?"

    Yes. Even better, most clubs have more than one dancer that will want your money.(anybody's money, unless you are that revolting)
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    Oops, i should have read all of the OP, but it seems longer on the phone, my bad. Maybe she was "tied" to a regular/whale. Did you notice any other PLs talking to her on stage, trying to get a dance with her? And at the end of her stage, if she didn't go straight to the dressing room, did she go straight to a particular customer every time or even after she came out of the dressing room? If she did, then there it is.

    The other thing to consider is that some dancers tend to gravitate toward certain "types" that they do well with. Now i know that individuals are too varied to group into types, but it's human nature or at least psychology/heuristics. For instance, i notice that most girls will avoid groups of Indians until the very last moment (all other PLs have been tried), and even then they won't try very hard. They may feel it's not worth it, or not all money is good money as one favorite told me about another PL when another dancer told her to go dance with him as he spent money, but the favorite didn't like dancing for him.

    The final thing (yay!) is i wouldn't spend much time or energy at all trying to get with a dancer that seemed to avoid me. Do you really expect to get a great dance from her? You might pleasantly surprise her, either with your remuneration or how you "dance" with her or how long you dance with her, which is also part of remuneration.
  • twentyfive
    6 years ago
    @che. I often do what you suggested get one of the other girls or the bartender to go up and tip the girl on stage and tell I’d like to hangout with her today, it has never failed me BTW it’s always a 10 to the girl and 5 to the one who did me the solid.
  • Cashman1234
    6 years ago
    If A dancer doesn’t appear to have time for a dance with me - I pull a rolled up $20 out of my shirt pocket - and a little baggie of baking soda.

    It’s not subtle - but it works every time...
  • twentyfive
    6 years ago
    ^LOL
  • larryfisherman
    6 years ago
    @johnsmith- the problem with that is I wasn’t going to spend a stack of Benjamins on her, so I’m not even going to put that in the air.
  • Warrenboy75
    6 years ago
    A bird in the hand.............................and in this case the bird in her hand is the regular guy who is in the club often and spending.

    I'll repeat something I have commented on before.....tip the bartender and then tell him/her you would like to meet her. This way your money has done you some good regardless of if she spends time with you that night or not.

    Trust me she wants your money just not at the expense of a known steady stream of the green coming from someone she knows

    I've been on both sides of this equation, oddly enough I was that guy at CH in Bedford Heights Ohio last Spring even though I was only in town a week a month and it ticked a few other guys off from some comments they made ....but I am also the guy who couldn't get the one he wanted at the same time @ Showcase in Beltsville.

    You roll with it and move on.
  • houjack
    6 years ago
    Your mistake was not communicating, giving stage tip doesn't communicate any information, use words. If you had asked the first time you stage tipped her you would have learned she was busy and could then make other plans.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Larry, why didn't you tell her you wanted her to come and sit with you so you two could get to know each other. You could give her an extra larger bill for that last stage side communication.

    But buying dances, that is for chumps. Front room makeout session, then you invite her to the back room when it is time for your own pants to come down, and then take her home with you to continue.

    SJG
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    ^ Listen to SJG.

    That's how you get DFK and GFE in the front room. Then when you are ready to take your pants down it is time to take her to the back or home for the night.

    Your first mistake was not treating her like a civvie.
  • georgmicrodong
    6 years ago
    I’ve never been a fan of the “let my money do all the talking” thing. Money and conversational skills are far better at making your intentions crystal clear and, as Subraman points out, is a tactic more likely to get you the information you need, i.e. will she dance for you, right away rather than stewing about it.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Glad people are finally starting to understand.

    Flagooner +5

    SJG
  • shadowcat
    6 years ago
    Everybody seems hung up on throwing money at them. Why not just ask "Wanna fuck?" I guarantee you will get their attention.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    ^^^^ Why not just be nice to her, and generous, and get a front room makeout session going. Then most always she will want to fuck.

    SJG
  • abqspencer
    6 years ago
    If I see a girl getting attention from others I’ll tip at the stage and flat out ask her is she’s locked up with the other guy or guys, and if not to come see me.
  • stripfighter
    6 years ago
    How do you figure she didn't want your money?? She made it perfectly clear that she was talking to another customer... just tipping on stage doesn't always mean "come sit with me afterwards" and as others have already said should have been direct from the get-go. Strike First ;)...
  • twentyfive
    6 years ago
    @flagooner How’s that SJG thing working out at the Inner Room ? ;)
  • lolruned
    6 years ago
    "With girls that don’t seem to want your money, but you really want them, do you keep asking them, or you just move on to the next girl?"

    I'd say you're overthinking it. Your looks, hygiene, ie is a possibility but I doubt it. It's a strong possibility she was waiting for her whale or appointment. If I was in that situation, I would have moved on to the next dancer
  • lolruned
    6 years ago
    Don't let a dancer affect your emotions or confidence. Just think that you're awesome and a normal patron that's just looking to get some attention. It's not like you were not spending in the SC
  • georgmicrodong
    6 years ago
    When I meet dancers who don’t want my money, I call the local insane asylum and have them committed. I mean, seriously.
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