FIRST SA DATE!...

Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
... was a total bust.

We met at a small bar. The problem wasn't that she was extremely dishonest about any one particular part of her profile. Rather, she was a little dishonest about *every single* part of her entire profile. By compilation of small/moderate lies (or delusions), she ultimately wasn't someone that I wanted to touch, or to touch me.

After the first drink, I told her that it wasn't going to work out. She was both extremely irritated and confused, and wanted to know why. I calmly told her (a) that she wasn't what I expected (true), and (b) that this sort of thing (SA) really wasn't for me (not true). I didn't want our rapid "break up" to turn into a loud spectacle, so I wanted to put some of the blame on myself and not make it all about her.

The other issue was that she had driven a fairly long distance through crap traffic to get to me. I offered to give her gas money plus some WA (walking away) money. $80 total. She wasn't happy with it, but I avoided a meltdown in a public place.

After that, I found a decent restaurant and had a good meal + beer.

I may give SA another shot, but I definitely need to refine my filters. That wasn't fun at all.

24 comments

Latest

twentyfive
7 years ago
To prevent that it is better to do coffee or drinks for the first meeting, with the understanding that you have other obligations (not necessarily true) so this is going to be short half to an hour max. If you find yourself hitting it off you can flatter her by blowing off your (presumed) other engagement and if it doesn’t work out there is no expectation or fuss to leave. Doing it this way prevents you from having to deal with a rejected woman and allows you to let her keep her dignity, and also keeps you from having to give her anything you don’t want to.
jackslash
7 years ago
The preferred method is to excuse yourself to go to the restroom and not come back, leaving her with the check.
Subraman
7 years ago
The main lie from SA girls seems to be lying with pictures. Curious about what else she might have lied about
max_starr
7 years ago
Not with an SA girl...but I have straight walked out on a date before we ordered anything.....Now that I'm older and kinder, I'd probably do the walking away money...I mean shit I have given strippers money for just gathering intel for me lol.
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
@twentyfive ... That's good advice for the future. I'm also going to stick to women who are geographically close to me.
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Prescreening with something like Snapchat, Whatsapp, Kik...helps prevent this situation. I have done distance SA relationships and will only go that route for an exceptional girl. Its a pain in the ass when there are plenty of local options. Present girl is like 10 minutes from work and life is super easy.
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
@Subraman ... I guess it could be argued that a lot of it did come back to appearance/pictures, ultimately.

That said, she made herself out to be someone who was perfectly willing to make me happy, but *also* wanted to hang out, talk, and socialize. She REALLY didn't, and what I think she actually was is a refugee BP girl trying to steer clear of SA's not wanting her doing business on their site.

Also, she claimed to be a college student, but when I asked what she was studying she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She also reeked of cigarettes, yet her profile said she was a non-smoker.

Also, when we met:

SA GIRL: "I've been looking forward to this all day, Jeff."

ISHMAEL: "I'm not Jeff."

SA GIRL: "Oh God! Joe!"

ISHMAEL: "Nope."

SA GIRL: "It starts with a 'J', right?"

ISHMAEL: "No..."

SA GIRL: [biting lip] "Whoopsies."

Which was fine. I already knew that I was going to use the escape hatch on this one.
sinclair
7 years ago
It sounds like you made the right decision. She was either a pro or an UTR.

The worst is when she says she has no kids on her SA profile. Then when you are in the hotel room peeling each other's clothes off, you find out she was lying about the whole kid thing. Yuck.
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
I would not be that nice if she was that full of shit. You made it easy for her and you. But then again one of my pet peeves is someone wasting my time or late/ no show.
Warrenboy75
7 years ago
I've only had one really bad in terms of not looking anything like her pictures but I have heard some horror stories.

ISHMAEL I'm not one for a lot of back and forth before I meet someone but I do ask some basic questions to weed out the pros and the scammers. If I get one or two word answers or a press right off the bat about money I simply excuse myself and move on.

I'm meeting my regular SA ( been seeing her whenever I am in one part of the country since January.) tonight and possibly Friday before I leave the area.

There are good ones out there--she's a grad student which for me at least is the right age and the right reason for her to be on SA.
stripfighter
7 years ago
25 has great advice. Give yourself an out even before it starts.
abqspencer
7 years ago
Sucks man. Keep trying!

I’m 50% positive with mine so far. Although this one hit 18 year old I’ve banged a few times tells me she hates sucking dick and charged her last arrangement extra to do it. She’s gonna be on the back burner from now on with that attitude

I’m actually waiting to meet another right now! :)

I’m juggling texts with about 8 or so. One wants to fly in to meet and wouldn’t let me get her a ticket, wants to pay for it herself. Refreshing.
Ch3ll
7 years ago
I looked in the glossary but didn't see a reference for it. What is SA?
abqspencer
7 years ago
Seeking Arrangement

Sugar Daddy/ Sugar Baby site
abqspencer
7 years ago
My meet n greet went well. She's cute. Taller than I've ever been with (5'11"), but looks great. She had to go to a friend from work's going away party, so just had beers and went on our separate ways.

But instantly texted me after and wants to meet up again.

She told me some stories of the other guys she's met on SA. Some weirdos out there! LOL! You know who you are! :D
JAprufrock
7 years ago
@jacklash "The preferred method is to excuse yourself to go to the restroom and not come back, leaving her with the check."

I laughed. Then I remembered doing something similar about 30 years ago after meeting a gal through some telephone hook-up line. I went to her apartment to pick her up for a night out. She was dressed up and ready to. I didn't like what I saw. I told her I parked far away and would pull up the car. I didn't return. I was young and selfish and had absolutely no conscience. No way I could pull that kind of stunt now and not feel guilty as fuck.
orionsmith
7 years ago
Sharing instant pics or have a FaceTime chat sounds like an option to see her before getting stuck together somewhere.
Mate27
7 years ago
Wait a minute, isnt this the reason why we go to strip clubs?

This is a strip club website, right? I guess you’ve helped make our point.
Warrenboy75
7 years ago
Meat72---an added bonus to SA is many strippers have accounts there as well. Subraman can share with you how he brings it into the conversation when he is at the club. It brings down the walls to finding out if OTC activity is available.

Over the years a lot of what I do depends on my mood and where I am located at the time. Stripclubs for me are more of a spontaneous decision---I'm not doing anything so I'll go to the club. SA, at least for me, is a more planned out undertaking.
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Sucks to hear your first SA date didn’t work out. Those things would turn me off too.

There must be quite a few backpage girls struggling to find places to advertise. SA might be a natural spot for some. However, it seems that it’s not a fit for this girl. Remembering names is important in the SA world. For a backpage whore - names aren’t as important.
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
@Meat72... I'm not always in the mood for a strip club visit. Also, I like to try different things.
Mate27
7 years ago
I like seeing people’s accounts from their SA arrangement, either good or bad. I know some have shared successes, too.
joc13
7 years ago
My SB is the best strip club wing man I've ever had. We've done an OTC threesome with two different strippers with much better results than any OTCs I've tried to arrange on my own.
RandomMember
7 years ago
@Warrenboy: " Stripclubs for me are more of a spontaneous decision---I'm not doing anything so I'll go to the club. SA, at least for me, is a more planned out undertaking."
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^^ This is the best description I've seen. SA reaches the demographic I'm looking for, but it can take several weeks to find the right match.
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