Stripper Boyfriend

impala
The People's Republic of Pennsylvania
I wanna become a stripper's boyfriend so I can quit my job, sleep till 3, play bass in a rock band, drink all day, wreck her car, slap her and her kids around, & go to the club and fuck all her friends in the VIP (and have her pay for it).

25 comments

  • ATACdawg
    7 years ago
    Sorry, impala. I already snagged that job (?).

    Better luck next time, lol!
  • Warrenboy75
    7 years ago
    You have to play video games impala and a good supply of weed or coke.
  • impala
    7 years ago
    Your right, how did I forgot about the video games and weed/coke.
  • impala
    7 years ago
    I just don't understand these girls. I know a lot of them come from screwed up pasts, but what they will put up with and stand by these losers when they treat them like shit
  • PaulDrake
    7 years ago
    In some cases their father was a shitbag so they are attracted to shitbags.
  • Dominic77
    7 years ago
    Do you know Mrs. 77's ex-husband? That's what he did! Started going to strip clubs, smoking weed or lost his job next I forget the order, started smoking weed with dancers ITC and hanging out OTC and having sex after her shift. Then the divorced early 20s. Now the -ex and his dancer (who looks sort of like Mrs 77) got married and live in a trailer in Ohio. It's almost textbook cliche.
  • impala
    7 years ago
    PaulDrake, I know. Was recently at a club where a shitbag boyfriend showed up with his "posse" (after drinking at home all day), had her pay for their drinks, got money from her to pay for lap dances, and when they left took her car and left her to find her own way home afterwards. I talked to the poor girl after they left and she told me he was out of work (again) but him and his "posse" had formed a band but nobody would hire them to play.
  • shailynn
    7 years ago
    We’ve been over this before - I think we all want that job.

    And FYI like said above you HAVE to play lots of video games and if you’re going to be in a band you h e to be the drummer. The drummer is always the biggest binge drinker and the wildest. Just ask Tommy Lee!!!
  • impala
    7 years ago
    Yeah, but what's a bass player say when he does have a job...."your pizza's here"
  • shadowcat
    7 years ago
    I was going to just settle for gigolo but there are too many guys giving it away for free. :)
  • Cashman1234
    7 years ago
    Impala’s description of a stripper boyfriend is spot on. His follow up description of what happened when a strippers boyfriend came to the club with his posse confirms that reality is stranger than fiction.

    I know - I couldn’t do those things! I’ve tried to be unemployed - and it was brutal! I couldn’t sleep when I was unemployed. I also don’t have a band. I don’t do drugs either.

    Is it possible to fail at being a total failure?
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    ^^^;))))
  • Warrenboy75
    7 years ago
    Is it possible to fail at being a total failure?---Instagram is full of them ....they are the motivational guru's spouting out wisdom for likes...
  • max_starr
    7 years ago
    I need to start a deadbeat stripper boyfriend training school for PL's
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    Yes, sorry, but JS69 is already ahead of you inline for that.

    SJG

    Old Style Pulp Sci-Fi Mags
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c…

    Ray Bradbury
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTXckvj7…
  • bang69
    7 years ago
    I've been a strippers bf. Trust me its not worth it
  • s88
    7 years ago
    How to date a stripper or pornstar:

    Get job in

    A. smoke shop
    B. weed dispensary
    C. tattoo parlor

    and just wait and in no time your will be a stripper's BF. You can't meet them at their work, you gotta meet them as a civie. And they always work friday and saturday nights so you cna't bump into them at a dance club or bottle club. But those 3 places are only civie places they go other than jail and rehab.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    But I do have to say, most of the girl in our local strip clubs are not like that.

    SJG
  • jackslash
    7 years ago
    Q. Why did the stripper's boyfriend break up with her?
    A. He wanted to beat other women.
  • Subraman
    7 years ago
    I'm hoping impala becomes a stripper's boyfriend, so I can come on here and tell everyone I fucked impala's girl and then came in her hair.

    #YoGirlGaveMeChlamydia
  • Subraman
    7 years ago
    Me and impala can fuck his girl at the same time

    #ImpalaMadeEyeContact

    #IThinkOurBallsTouched
  • orionsmith
    7 years ago
    I'm very good at video games. However I haven't had anything to drink in days. Drugs and doctors I stay away from. I think I saw a doctor 2 or 3 years ago just for a physical just because I was worried I wasn't going to have a doctor if I hadn't visited for several years. Probably not even considered a patient if I haven't visited in 2 or 3 years. Decided to lose weight and get in better shape two days ago. I plan on losing 1 to 2 pounds average a week. Gained 6 pounds over last several months. I might have already lost 2 pounds in 2 days so that is probably too fast. Losing weight is simple math if your metabolism works ok.
    Probably not stripper BF material after all. I don't touch drugs. I don't even like people smoking in the same house.
  • Cashman1234
    7 years ago
    Max_starr - I added an appropriate ending to your post - lol!

    I need to start a deadbeat stripper boyfriend training school - but I just don’t have the motivation to get off the sofa...
  • ATACdawg
    7 years ago
    Ding, ding, ding, DING? Cash just graduated Cum Loudly ;-D
  • Huntsman
    7 years ago
    Yep, Cashman shoots and scores! Funny thread.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion