Spent the weekend with a dancer

I hear wedding bells in the background, the marriage hustle claims it’s newest victim.

Jokes on her. I'm already married! Though, my wife has full knowledge and approves of my activities. Hell, for that matter, the dancer knows that too.

Well good luck.

Sounds like you had a good time and it didn't cost much. Congrats. But are you SURE your wife doesn't care ????

Very sure. So long as I'm open about what I do, and I don't feel guilty doing it, I can do whatever I want. She's a stay at home mom living very comfortably, driving a brand new car, doing whatever she wants all day. She's no longer capable of being intimate due to post-partum issues, and it makes her happy when I'm happy. So, she supports whatever I want to do, so long as I'm safe about it.

Enjoy it for however long it lasts. Congrats. Do not assume this will last a long time. But enjoy it while it does.

Lucky man then, seems like you got yourself something good going.

Thanks. Definitely won't last too long. My job keeps me moving around often. Next move is expected in just over a year. So, enjoy while I can, right?

Sounds like a great time. Get it while the getting good.

How close in age are you to the dancer? Sounds like she's genuinely into you, but feel sorry for your wife.

I am in the same situation...my wife not interested in sex for the last five years.

She's 23, I'm 29. I think she said it best when she told me "I think I actually kinda like you." It was very spur of the moment and sweet.

My wife wants me to invite her to spend some time at our house. She would get the spare room. It's an odd situation, but my wife really is ok with the whole deal.

Sounds like your wife is cool with everything, and that’s great. Even better (for now) that the stripper is fucking you for free and you’re having fun. But what do you intend for all this down the road? When your wife is past the post-partum and wants you back in her saddle or if she wants her time to fuck someone else, how do you think that will work? And since the stripper is apparently fucking you for free, what is she going to want over time? I’m glad you’re having fun right now but keep in mind the notion of TANSTAFL There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

If you’re able to enjoy all this right now with the realization that it’s temporary and you are as sure as you can be that you won’t crash and burn, good for you. But I hope you and your wife and you and the stripper are all on the same page as far as the end game.

It would be a shock if my wife ever decided to give it a go again sexually. It's been 4 years with no change already. If she does, I have no issues with an open relationship.

As for the dancer, all I asked of her is that when I'm around, we hang out. When I'm not, she does whatever. I'm not trying to set up anything permanent or serious. Just friends having fun, which is what she told me she's looking for too.

How did you start the initial conversation with your wife? How did you navigate that?

Keep an eye on the headlines. This sounds like it could go viral when shit hits the fan.

Have fun out there, don’t get in it too deep.

You’re pretty close to her age, she might actually like you for you.

I didn't start the conversation with my wife. She told me I needed to get out there and find someone that I can be physical with and have fun. She's a unique woman that has really helped me with her openness

The hustle will come soon. She will need help and you are her hero. The only one she can depend on. You can save her. Watch the drama/problem slowly begin to appear and she will need your help.

The long hustle always starts cheap or free. The first time I hit up my ATF, it was cheap and bb. Then the hustle and her problems begin. I can afford it, so I don’t care.

"My wife wants me to invite her to spend some time at our house. She would get the spare room. It's an odd situation, but my wife really is ok with the whole deal."

@Titus - does your wife watch a lot of lesbian porn?

A stripper may not seem like a gold digger, but if you check her pickup truck you'll find a pick and shovel.

It's *possible* that you're on to a good thing. But, just because the hustle doesn't come immediately, it doesn't mean that it isn't coming. A few strippers play the long game quite well.

Have your fun but remain wary.

@Dougster, my wife is bisexual yes, but no, she doesn't watch porn. I know the dancer is bi as well. Got to witness that firsthand last weekend in an impromptu MFF.

^ that doesn't mean she is bi. It just means she was having fun or just wanting to please.

She was definitely having fun, though also pretty drunk. Maybe she's bi when she's drunk lol.

In a couple of decades strip clubbing I’ve only once had a stripper who was genuinely interested in having dates with me and fucking without payment. So it does happen but it’s very rare if you are older. Have fun but be very careful.

sounds super fun.

OP, with your wife having postpartum issues for 4 years, I suspect you've got a 4 year in the house. If the stripper is batshit crazy or drugged out, ya might wanna consider shielding your child from the influence. sorry to go there but young children = very impressionable.

@decline, she doesn't do any drugs as she has a daughter born a month before my son and is very dedicated to raising her right. She does drink quite a bit and can get rowdy, but I've learned some tricks for that.

Regardless, it'll be a while before she ever comes down I'm sure, so we've got time to figure it out.

I’ve seen some of your posts on SW and I think you’re leaving a lot of that out on this site. You’ve already spent a couple grand on this girl so the hustle is real. She’s seen that you have the money so don’t assume this isn’t a long con. Also, you already mentioned the drama she caused when she called you wanting to die and had you drive an hour to pick her up only to have already left (without telling you). My point is that this isn’t the rainbows and sunshine “she likes me for me” situation you’re making it out to be. Either that or, since you also stated that you are very new to strip clubs, you just don’t realize it yet. Tread carefully. The signs are there you just seem a little too willing to hope for the best right now. At the very least you should be highly concerned about bringing this person into your home life with a young child around regardless of whether your wife approves.

@skin, yes, when I spent my birthday with her, I did spend quite a bit, combined with my first visit. Not much since then though. One of the most telling things for me was when I paid for her car to get fixed last weekend. And then she paid me back the full $400.

As for the call I got, come to find out she was there, just sleeping off a lot of alcohol. I've witnessed firsthand that she should never have shots. Beer and mixed drinks are fine, but keep the shots away or she gets nuts. And once she's asleep, she's down for 12+ hours.

I'm not thinking that I have some long, perfect relationship ahead of me. I'm just hopeful that while it lasts, I have a legit connection with a beautiful woman that enjoys my time as much as I enjoy hers.

"she called you wanting to die and had you drive an hour to pick her up only to have already left (without telling you)."
___________
Yep, that sure does cast a different light on the whole thread. I would keep this dancer *away* from your house and your kid.

You post on Stripperweb? Ha, at least I have some reading material now. Wonder what them girls over there are saying about this situation?

And yeah the new info provided makes this whole story sound dramatically different.

Wow this story has just done a 180.

Yes, I post on both sites, as they offer different perspectives that I find valuable.

Also, Skin's description of events is less than complete. She was drunk, abandoned by the guy she was hanging out with, and called me for help. She was super depressed and expressed a willingness to wander off and let whatever happens happen. We talked for a bit, I got her talking about how she wanted to live for her daughter, and then I drove out to pick her up. I got to the house she was at, and the person that met me at the front door didn't recognize her dancer name. I know her real name now, but at the time did not. She was in the house at the time, a friend of her family's, but she was sound asleep and wouldn't wake up for about 18 hours or so. Having just spent a weekend with her, that's not far-fetched at all. This girl sleeps hard.

She admits to having some issues, and there is no doubt about that. But, when she's sober, she's one of the sweetest, most genuine women I've ever met. I don't drink, and this past weekend, when I asked her to stay sober for an evening, she did so without a complaint.

Like I said before, I'm not jumping in with two feet, but am cautiously optimistic.

Sounds like the plot from “Three Faces of Eve”

Just read the wiki article, and yah, she's definitely very different when drinking, and yes, it stems from trauma that she's opened up to me about. Maybe that's why I'm more forgiving of it. I've lived through my own pain, and at her age, I wasn't fully adjusted yet. It took until I was about 26 before I came to terms with what happened. She's still processing, and right now, that involves overindulging in alcohol. Maybe I can share some of what worked for me and help her heal a bit faster.

I’d bail buddy you aren’t equipped to deal with this, and even if you were there’s nothing in this for you. You stick and it’s gonna cost you, prolly a whole bunch more than you are able to afford.

Haven't jumped in with two feet yet? Ya right. Sounds like you're both knees deep in drama already.

I mean, let's be honest, the sex was fucking phenomenal. If that's a recurring theme of our encounters, that alone is worth dealing with a bit of drama. Add in the way she is when she's sober, and I can deal with it once a month for a year or so.

at least you'll have some gawker worth stories to entertain us with soon

Hahaha. I don't have that guy's cash reserves to ever get that crazy. And like I said earlier, this is lasting a year max. After that, I won't be in the country anymore.

Just scanned a few of your threads over there. The length of some of those posts you have over there would make even SJG jealous. Damn!

Anyway, seems you post a lot more over there then here. Too bad as we could have warned you before you got so deep into this. Not that the dancers there didn't warn you but from the tone of their posts it feels like a more 'another one of these types' and 'not gonna ruin the hustle for another fellow dancer' so they just tell you to have fun and watch your step. From the posts there it looks like you spent a couple thousand even before having any sexual contact with the chick. I don't know man, you seem to be one of those types that latches on real quick. I don't know you besides what I see posted so I could easily be wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

Back to SW for more reading lol.

Titus I didn’t mean that to come across as an attack so glad you took it for what it was meant. The point I was making is the same as what others here have mentioned. Take this for what it is and nothing more. You say you aren’t jumping in with two feet but these girls, with their combination of beauty and drama, have a way of sucking certain personality types in without you even realizing it. You have already spent a couple grand (money can be replaced to a certain extent), spent a night worrying about her well being, posted mutiple threads on multiple sites trying to comprehend what is happening and now are discussing her living arrangements with your family. These girls can develop some feelings for a guy that “takes care” of them but the hustle is always a factor. Be prepared for it and it will help you recognize it when it comes.

Eventually you'll see a conversation I had with a guy over there about why I spent so much. Bottom line up front, I don't go to clubs for sex or extras. I go to spend time with beautiful women, and to pay them for it. If I was looking for p4p, I'd get an escort. I have a budget that can afford once monthly high expenditure visits to the club.

It just happens that the first dancer I met and I hit it off pretty well, and have since spent time together. I still plan on going back to the club, and I plan to spend time with some of the other dancers I met there as well. At the end of the night though, the plan is to take my friend back to the hotel. Win/win all around.

Skin, I want to clarify the living arrangement thing, because I can fully understand how that might scream warning. She's not moving in with me, ever. But, there's a country music concert in June that has one of her favorite bands playing, and it's five minutes from my front door. I might invite her down for the weekend for that. But, that's it. Hell, I'll probably see if my wife wants to go visit her family that weekend with my boy.

Wow. This took a turn. Have to admit when I first started reading this topic I was thinking "way too good to be true". Don't take this.as a dig OP. We all have to lie to ourselves a little bit in this hobby. Good luck.

Let’s clarify that Fri 10 to Sat 10 is not a whole weekend.

You’ve heard that crack dealers sometimes provide free samples - so the addict gets hooked. This dancer friend knows how to put the hook in hooker....

She’s giving you a taste and making future plans with you. Then - when she says she wants some $$$ to make it happen - it will seem like she just needs a little cash to hold her over. Then if you slip her some money - she will know that she’s got you...

It’s always about the money in the long run. Even with a real GF and wife. So just remember that and you will never be disappointed. I’ve had real Girlfriends who would not be in the mood and when I say let’s go shopping at a place she likes, the gates magically spread open with the quickness.

Gato, you're spot on, and that's why I don't mind a few incidental costs. Everytime I've dated a woman for a minute, I've bought her clothes, jewelry, paid a phone bill or whatever. Haven't gotten there yet with this girl, but if it gets to that point where I want to do that, then sure why not.

I like helping the people in my life. I like being a provider, so why the hell not? Now, am I going to hand her lump sums of cash in exchange for sex? Nope. But I sure as shit will buy her a sexy ass dress, take her to a concert and a fancy restaurant, then back to the suite I've rented. I'm not cheap with my dates. Civilian or otherwise.

Nothing wrong with spending money like that as long as you understand that’s what she’s there for. Not every hustle is about cleaning you out. If you’re good with it just enjoy it but be ready for the drama and demands to increase. You mention that you like to be a provider. That is exactly the type of personality that I was talking about before. There are girls that just want someone who will “take care” of them in that way and are happy to have you spend money on them in the club or otc in return for company and sex. The problems only come up when the provider feels he has earned more and doesn’t need to provide as much or when the girl starts wanting more. You should have the full understanding of what this relationship probably is though and not assume it’s just a friends with benefits deal. Even if you end up friends with benefits with no cash exchanging hands the drama that comes with most of these girls will make you wish you just coughed up the cash and left it as business.