So I was thinking about heading to my regular club today but I think I want some variety and to get a dance from someone other than my regular dancer. What is the most tactful way to say that?
What I would really love to ask her is "who else does dances like you?" But I am guessing due to the competitive nature of stripping that probably wouldn't work well to ask directly.
There is no tactful way, nor does there need to be. This is s business arrangement not a relationship. You are the customer and deserve to get what you want to pay for. I had “strip club wife” situation for awhile that caused me to avoid my favorite club until I decided (with some encouragement from Papi) to man up and simply tell her that I “wanted to do someone else tonight”. It had the expected result; she got pissed off, and pouted. But I just had to remind myself that I really shouldn’t care about her feelings because she doesn’t give a shit about me - only my money. I use this same mindset to tell girls I’m not attracted to to “keep moving” when they ask to sit with me. This is a business arrangement, not a relationship.
Just tell her that you want to see what other options might be available to you. Accomplishes a couple of things: you're being to the point and honest, and it POSSIBLY (not likely, but possible) stirs up a bit of jealousy in the stripper, which in club terms could be good for you going forward in getting more action.
Never underestimate the powerful force that is inherent female jealousy. Often a pain in the ass for us guys in life, but a jealous stripper is a benefit for you and I.
^ w some girls that might be the only option, but some guys would also like to keep their regular. New girls quit a lot, or get crazy fast, and a favorite is hard for some guys to find. A little thought in how to handle it might mean that he can try new girls, and still enjoy his stand by.
I love you bj
Fuzzy dog....so your favorite was visibly upset the night you told her you wanted to try another girl? Interesting. I guess that makes sense though. Dancers probably like their regulars—it makes it less of a guessing game as far as which customers like them
My philosophy:
youre screwed, no tactfully way to do this. its over when she says its over. next time shoot way above your league, so she can break up with you.
Have you tried saying , sorry but tonight i was hoping to get a dance with a blonde. What do you know about aspen
Wow, we are really PL's. How do you get in the situation where you don't feel comfortable getting a dance from another stripper in a club? This is not your wife, it is a stripper you are paying for her dances.
My ex fav stopped talking to me so I'm not the right person to give advice here.
But since when has that stopped me.
It's your money and your time so spend both in a way that will make you happy.
Man up, dude! It’s your (bit)coin, spend it how you want. Tell that bitch to take a hike, you want some strange pussy. That’s what I would do.
Then again, I’m a single loser who's never had a meaningful relationship with a woman, so maybe you should listen to Bj99 instead.
Over time I've noticed two types of "regulars." First type is a regular of one particular girl, and comes in just to see and get dances from her. In that case, she may feel obligated to spend all her time with you while you're there. She could even be turning down dance offers from other guys that approach her on stage. Other dancers know you there just for her so they don't bother approaching you.
Second type is being a regular of the club. You spread your time and money among several girls in the club, will often sit with and buy drinks for 2-3 dancers, so it's more of a party atmosphere, and catch as catch can as far as getting dances. Your favs know they are free to take a better offer (for dances, VIP, etc.) from other customers and you're free to tip and chat with other dancers.
Sounds like you want to transition to the second type of regular. Some possible steps you could take: If you see a dancer on stage you're interested in, give you dancer some 1's and ask her to tip the other girl and invite her to join you at your table after her set. Buy drinks and chat up both girls. If dances aren't too expensive, you can do some double dancers with both girls. If you see guys tipping your dancer on stage and they look interested, let her know she's free to "make some money". You may have to spend some extra cash, but over time you should be able to transition gracefully.
It depends on your read of you favorite. Is she a jealous type? Has she turned down others for you. Is she new or more experienced? I think all of BJ's questions are relevent as well.
But at the end of the day it is a woman and depending on her mood it could swing either way.
"You pays your money and you takes your chances"
Just do the same as they do, tell her you'll be right back ! LOL
You could try using what I’ve used in the past, “If my wife can handle me having sex with other women, so can you.”
I ask my CF to recommend a back-up for when she’s not there. The problem is, she just tells me who not to get dances with and she gives me all the reasons why. Other CF’s I’ve had in the past would actually make suggestions.
Actually, I think the current CF has a thing for me whereas previous CF’s were more businesslike about it.
This is actually a predicament i may eventually face. For the most part i was never a onegina PL, so i was never latched onto just one dancer and didn't ever really have this issue, or it was just one-way (her perception). Now i have an ATF like no other before, so right now i don't mind and even immensely enjoy just dancing with her. But yet still i would like to dance with some old favorites and some hot new blood every now and then. I guess the good news is that the ATF doesn't strike me as particularly jealous and she'd probably not rather put all of her eggs in one PL basket on any given night.
So besides coming in on a day that she doesn't work because there is pretty much no way that i'm not hitting her up when she's working, i might actually have to beeline right to another girl i'm interested in first when i go to the club or be proactive about who you dance with. Or not hold her seat before she joins you or if she does join you and when she takes any type of break (bathroom, DJ, whatever) from front room action and another girl (hopefully a girl you're interested in) joins you. If she does get to you eventually, and at this point you still enjoy getting dances with her, throw her a few bones and get some dances, just quite a few less than you normally would. There's no need to shut her down completely, unless you don't care if you ever see her again at least in the intermediate term. She should definitely notice, but just tell her you're taking a bit of a break for now. When she walks you back, tell her that she doesn't have to be stuck with you and if she falls in to a rut, she can always find you again. In the meantime she can try working the rest of the floor or any other regulars and you might do the same.
No, there's no easy way to do this, but just remember that as overstated as it is, it is just business to you and her. No need to get emotions, real or whatever, involved in this. She'll get over it sooner or later, and most experienced dancers can figure out where this is going (a clear and definite change in your "relationship"). Just don't ever feel guilted into doing something you don't want to do, especially when you have done nothing wrong, for real.
You could ask your Regular girl who she would invite over for a 3-some !
Like everything else I'm an ass about it... but a playful one ;)
I tell her to introduce me to some of her friends, and point out specifically who I want. If the current dancer says they're not friends, I tell them they should introduce themselves, bury the hatchet, have me play mediator, or w/e.
Control the frame and as long as it's playful, I get away with talking about almost anything. Sure, some dancers are so dense they won't get it or are easily offended. They're the same type no matter what happens will eventually get offended one way or another so best move is Move On.
I've found a $20 tip and an apology that I can't be with her this time works wonders. Twenty is enough that she'll be happy she made cash and doesn't have to do any work.
Don’t be a jerk about it but don’t worry about it either. You don’t control her emotions.
I have this problem a lot. One of my regulars is real good; she sits with me a lot but asks if I want dance with other girls she sees I might like. Another is the opposite. One night I spent $800 on her and on way out saw another girl and had 1 $20 dance before I left, and was an asshole. I love them all, and regularly go to 3 bars so my solution so far is 1 regular at each bar. Still like to see both of the ones mentioned above though.
Dancers know that they have competition and that custies often would like to play the field - they are only "upset" at losing a sell (losing your $$$), and IMO they'll gladly take it (your $$$) back again if you decide to come back to them - it's basically selfishne$$, greed, and manipulation - dancers are there to please us, not the other way around.
Having established a "home" club now, my CF there has latched on to me. In order to get the situation under control, because I like to play the field, I had to cut down the amount of consecutive dances that she expected to sell me and tell her on certain visits that I would hit her up last after I got dances from other first. She pouted many a times, but accepted it (I think) because we are still tight and she intends to give me her card next time I'm at the club. Fortunately, my situation will be helped a bit because she only works M-F day shift and my ability to get over there during that time will be very limited.
When I discovered my 2nd and 4th favorite girls at this club (on the same day no less), after doing two dance sessions with each of them, I let them know I intended to make them primary girls for when I come into the club on Saturdays. I told them each who the other girl is, but to only expect me to hit up each of them 40% of the time each, which leaves me every fifth visit to mix it up. They both reacted positively to this, so I got the situation under control from the get-go.
My 3rd favorite girl has such a contradictory schedule to mine, that I doubt I'll see her much at all. Sad face.
If you know her schedule, don't go then. Go other times. Get to know other dancers. They change shifts. When they are both there together and you arrive, they'll "sort it out". :)
"she intends to give me her card next time I'm at the club"
@orange - you mean like a business card?
There is no good answer to this question. As soon as a stripper sees her money going somewhere else, she's gonna be trouble, either directly or indirectly. Don't kid yourself that they are jealous over losing you....they are jealous over losing access to your wallet. This is just one of a hundred reasons that I don't do the fave thing anymore. The only thing you can really do if you don;t want a confrontation is to go to her club when she's not there. Or try a different club for a while.
Yeah, territorial is probably a better word than jealous. They want to keep your money away from other girls. Although some girls will play games to seem like they are actually "jealous" to get in your head.
Well, for me the biggest thing is that my customer not mistakenly encourage cut throat behavior, and let some bitch think her hustle displaced me.
At one time I had 3 favorites at the club. I would visit a different one each time. Luckily, they were all really cool about it, so no drama. If any of them did create drama, I would have dropped them.
2 have moved on and I have been limited to 1 CF for a while.
Thinking about finding another and my CF knows it and has pointed out a few dancers she thinks I would like.
Its just business, be upfront and honest about what you want.
If she starts being a bitch about it, time to move on anyway.
There shouldn’t be an issue with moving around to other strippers. You must remember - it’s your money - and she’s only with you because of your money.
It sounds like a dick comment - but it’s the truth. She wouldn’t hang with you if you had no money for her. Try coming in one night and saying you are broke - and see how that goes. So spread your money around - and enjoy some variety.
I have only had a long term "regular dancer" I would go to see 3 or 4 times in my clubbing career and only one was an issue. That is not to say I have not has favoites here and there. The rest understood that I liked to play the field and were ok with that as long as I did not spend to much on an enemy. The one that was a problem I simply changed clubs and stopped seeing her. It has always been a self eliminating problem for me because I move to a different city when my contract work I was in town for ends and I move on. If the girl has been fun and not possessive I make sure to tell her I am leaving town and tip her appropriately is she has become too possessive I simply leave. I never make any promises I won't keep and ALWAYS pay as I go.
What I do: (smile and big hug) "Hi Porsche! You look great! Hey, I'm making today a variety day to get dances with lots of girls (or, I'm hanging out with Mocha today, or whatever), but have a great day and I'm looking forward to hanging out again soon!"
That's it. Friendly, smiling, act like it's the most natural and reasonable thing in the world (because it is!). I realize strippers can be crazy and get mad at almost anything, but so far, to my knowledge, this has worked beautifully and always allowed me to return to Porsche next time, with no penalties.
I advocate for being transparent and direct and polite, and against bitch moves. Examples of you being a little bitch:
Note, I do realize that sometimes (rarely), you run into a stripper who is so fucking crazy that you might have to consider just not being there... I haven't run into that yet, but have heard stories. 99.9% of the time, just avoid bitch moves and be confident & direct
^ and hand her some money, if you still want her to approach you. Even 10. I have a customer who does this someomes, nd he will hand me 50. He says he still wants me to come right up to him when I see him. Honestly, I wouldn’t believe he really wants me to if he didn’t tip me.
Just let her know politely that you’re gonna try out some dances from other girls tonight, and that you’ll catch up with her next time.
I agree with Bj99. This can be very tricky. Not only does it involve the dynamic between you and your favorite, it also involves the dynamic between her and the other dancers. For example in the club where my CF dances I am known to be her regular by most all the girls that dance there. When come in almost before I can get a drink she is at my side greeting me. Rarely when I have been there and I can get set down a new dancer may come sit with me but never a dancer who knows me. And within a min or two my CF shows up with a hey baby and kiss and the other girl disappears like a puff of smoke
^ yes, that’s bc they know you are her customer, and she has some respect around there. If a non new girl sat w one of my customers and didn’t vanish when I walked past, I’d reciprocate the favor, and she wouldn’t want that. Plus, chances are we’d bounce to the dance area and leave her sitting there anyways.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Strippers are only into you for your money. Don't be so emotionally attached to their feelings, because they don't think about you after you leave the club. Even if you piss her off on one visit, odds are she won't remember the next time you walking in with a fresh stack of papers
That said, there are a couple of ways to play it to your advantage:
^ @BJ... That is precisely why I changed favs.
I enjoy spend a good amount of time with my fav and compensate her quite fairly for it. But I also like to have a bit of variety during my visits.
I let it be known that I'm not going to monopolize her time and encourage her to hustle. At the same time I let her know that she is welcome to join me whenever she want.
I was told by other dancers that she had told them that I was her regular. That was why other dancers would not come by to spend time with me.
I let her know that was unacceptable and she got pissed. I don't have to deal with that so I now have a new fav.
A dancer shouldn’t really have to tell other girls a guy is her regular, unless it’s to smooth over something like you blowing off the other girl for her. My best regular let’s me know whether he wants to monopolize my time, or if he’s going to being there for awhile and is feeling chill. In that case, I’ll get my other dances, and he’ll sometimes grab a girl for a few.
Another great option, tell her "it's not you, it's me" ;)
That can be tricky, and it depends. Does she spend all of her time w you while you are there? How much do you give her? Do you text and set up an appointment w her? Do you text for just fun, or see her outside at all?