Etiquette While Sitting With a Dancer

26 comments

• JackScott

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  6 years ago

  It's much like allowing a door-to-door salesman into your home. She sits with you to sell herself to you. So really you are granting her the courtesy of allowing her to sit with you while you decide whether you want a dance. Sometimes I'll give her a few dollars if I like her and want her to come back another time. Also if she approaches me in a way that I find to be impressive I'll give her a tip. But at the same time I have to be careful not to blow the money for 2 dances on dancers that I am not going to get a dance with.
• PeterEaster

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  6 years ago

  Just my opinions: Are you expected to buy her a drink when the waitress comes for your order? May be the expectation of the club, but it's your choice, and you shouldn't feel pressured to do so. Should you tip her a few dollars every so often for her time (she is there to make money) or is it acceptable to just sit and talk with her and pay her only for lap dances? If I'm leaning towards getting a dance from her, I will just wait and pay her for the dances only. If it's a girl I'm really not interested in and I know I'm not getting a dance, I will tell her up front so she doesn't waste her time. Sometimes they'll sit and chat with you anyway, especially if there are only a few customers in the club.
• ppwh

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  6 years ago

  I try to tip her off early so she can continue to circulate. If she still wants to stick around, it's up to her. If it's a really slow day and a dancer hangs out for 20 minutes or so and is reasonably entertaining to talk to, I might tip her $10 when one of us gets up to leave. Obviously, if you make a habit of tipping dancers as an alternative to just letting on that you're not interested, you can end up spending your budget on stuff you're not interested in. As for drinks, sometimes they want one anyway, especially at the start of a shift, so that could be a reasonable compensation for sitting with you in a situation like while it's still early and slow. On the other hand, if the club is packed and the waitress asks if the dancer who just sat down wants a drink and you're not interested in dances, turn the waitress down and let the dancer go on her way. In that context, a drink would have put her in a position of wasting 20-30 minutes of prime earning time just because of a customer's misguided sense of politeness.
• thedude111222

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  6 years ago

  it's a strip club, girls are there to take your money and the fact that you have a dick and they have tits means they aren't playing by the same rules... -If you don't like a girl, tell her you are not interested in a dance from her. If someone in the club catches your eye, tell the girl that you were kind of hoping to meet that girl. Worst case she leaves and doesn't say anything, but odds are she'll at least mention to the other girl. -talking doesn't deserve a tip...it's her job to drum up her own business. If a girl talks to you for a while and you kind of enjoy her company but don't want a dance, walk up to the tip rail during her stage show and tip a couple of bucks. -don't fall for the drink hustle. don't buy a girl a $15 coke when it costs a PL $5.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  I’d only sit with a dancer who I intend to buy dances from. I’m clubbing to buy dances - not to sit and chat - not to buy drinks. If a dancer sits with me - and we chat a bit - it’s going to be talk about what she does in vip. That’s a relatively quick negotiation.
• TheDude954

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  6 years ago

  I like your style, thedude111222 - LOL
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  To me the etiquette is to let her know fairly quickly that you have other plans other than getting dances with her. As soon as the initial meet and greet small talk is over and there is a lull in the conversation, you should tell her thanks for stopping by but you are really waiting on someone else or that you just want to sit and observe on your own for a while. If a waitress comes to offer drinks for her I will decline it and use that as the opportunity to (politely and tactfully) tell the stripper that I have other immediate plans and thank her for stopping by. I also don't tip a stripper for just sitting with me uninvited. Not my problem and I certainly didn't invite her to sit down so I'm under no obligation to tip. But I also won't string her along for long. I've asked this question to over half my CFs/ATFs and all of them said that when they first sit down with a customer they do want to know where they stand fairly quickly. And when she can't take a hint and leave I will just start ignoring her until she gets a clue and excuses herself because the conversation goes nowhere. Now if I want her to sit with me it is a different story. For sure I will buy her a drink if she wants one and if she starts flirting and giving me some GFE tease, I will tip her more later, after our future dances.
• gammanu95

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  6 years ago

  Ignoring her until she gets a clue and leaves is always so painfully awkward. I do it, when all else fails, but it I hate having to do it.
• beekers

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  6 years ago

  I don't tip for talking if she invited herself to my table - but I'll tip after the dances, if it goes that far. I don't want talk to drag on if I have no interest in getting dances, so I let her know. I don't buy drinks for dancers on the first encounter unless she's got my motor running.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  Following my usual M.O.: - Just say what you want, don't be intimidated by the girls - Be fair and have some basic empathy for the girls By the time a stripper has been at my table for a minute or two, I'll pretty much know if I'm definitely not getting dances from her. And if that's the case, I just tell her. She does NOT get a tip just for coming by uninvited and hustling me for 2 minutes. But, I do think I owe it to her to let her know I"m not doing dances (if I like her company, I may tell her that I"m not doing dances with her, but would be happy to buy her a drink if she'd like to hang out). ***Thus endeth any obligations I have towards her. If she chooses to sit there and keep selling me anyway despite my clear statement that I'm not buying dances from her, that's on her. *** If I'm not sure whether or not I'd like to do dances with her, and after those first few minutes I do not give her the "I'm not doing dances, thanks anyway", I feel that's on me. There's no universal "etiquette" on this, it's just the way I personally feel is fair to both of us, and a different person might come to other conclusions. If, 20 minutes later I finally decide I'm not doing dances with her, I'll give her a small tip and send her on her way. In any case, I'll always buy a drink for a girl who is sitting with me for a long time. In short, once I know I'm not doing dances with her, I use my words. Once I do that, I have no obligations towards her. Until I do that, I'm mindful of her time ... first few minutes of initial hustle is on her, but if I let her sit there for 30 minutes without clearly communicating to her that I don't want a dance, I owe her a little something.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I'll nominally tip for her time if I ask her to come over, but no way if she invites herself.
• jester214

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  6 years ago

  I'm not one to tip for "time" but then I don't usually sit there with them for hours on end. I also mostly quit buying drinks after I got fucked a couple of times.
• Dolfan

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  6 years ago

  My MO is similar to Subras. If I know I'm not interested, I make it clear as soon as I can and don't tip. If I'm not sure, or would like her to hang around, I'll offer to buy her a drink and or eat. I rarely, almost never, will tip beyond that for just hanging out. I do make an exception for a girl I have previously spent on, who usually hangs out with me for a while first. If she puts in the time as usual and I've developed an expectation that she'll recover her time then I decide not to spend, I'll give her something. I'll sit with girls for quite some time, before or after spending on dances/rooms. I don't pay for that time. I don't demand it either, but I'm much more likely to spend on girls who do that sort of thing. I think its important to note, I'm mostly a daytime or at least off peak nighttime customer.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  Do what you want there is no etiquette involved whatsoever it’s just a grown man acting like a pussy being intimidated by a young girl in her underwear.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  I always try to remind myself that a strip-club visit is about me - I'm there to relax/unwind/have-a-good-time; not there to please the dancers and bend over backwards to make them happy; IMO they are there to make *me* happy and tend to *me*, not the other way around. It's business for them, yet too-many PLs treat it as if it was something else (courting or some shit) - the only reason they approach you is for your $$$, but it's up to you and only you how you spend *your* $$$ - the reality is that you are just a wallet to them, a mean$ to and end - being Mr Chivalrous/White-Knight in a strip club often leads a PL to getting fleeced or getting pennies for their dollar.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  I'm cognizant dancers are there to make $$$, thus I don't try to waste/milk their time - if a dancer I'm not interested in approaches me I usually cut it off within a few-seconds to maybe a minute or 2 max, but usually under 30-seconds - her time is valuable but so is mine and I don't wanna spend half my visit w/ dancers I'm not interested in talking me up wasting my time and theirs. I rarely tip or buy drinks - sometimes I'm feeling more benevolent and will buy a drink here and there or tip here and there - but I also don't monopolize their time for free - if I do enjoy their time w/ me I don't have an issue buying them a drink(s) or tipping them if I don't decide to get dances from them - but tipping or buying drinks just b/c she asks/approaches, "hell to the PL no". Plus it can set a bad precedent - in the Latina clubs in Miami tip-parades are common - but the Cuban dancers take it to the extreme to where they feel entitle for tips just b/c they ask and many will circle the club all night long asking for tips for doing nothing (asking for tips even though they haven't been on stage for an hour+) - many PLs feel "bad" about not tipping them when they ask and this only emboldens them to do it more and more to where it's often unbeareable.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  Amen @Papi! I couldn't give a rat's ass about a stripper that sits down with me uninvited and then feels awkward when I ignore her and look at my phone instead of talking to her because I'm not interested. Not my issue.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  -->"if I do enjoy their time w/ me I don't have an issue buying them a drink(s) or tipping them if I don't decide to get dances from them - but tipping or buying drinks just b/c she asks/approaches, "hell to the PL no"." Papi and I have different styles in the club, but overall, I agree with this. No tipping or drinks as a "reward" for her coming over uninvited to hustle me, no exceptions. If she sits with me a long time, because I wanted her to (or I didn't indicate to her I wasn't buying dances, which I'll always do once I"ve made up my mind), I'll compensate her in some way I think is fair, buying dances, a tip, etc.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  If she sits with you for more than 10 minutes it's an invite to take your dick out.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  The most skillful will be the one who is able to deflect dance offers and instead get a front room makeout session going. Now yes you should be handing her money, and it helps if you approached her first, with an eye to finding the girl you want to be waking up in the mornings with. More than anything it depends on how you are talking to her, and on what you are talking about. Then when it gets to where it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room. SJG In China they have a book known as the Art of War, written by Tun Szu. [view link] [view link] Jefferson Airplane, Rooftop [view link] Fat Angel [view link] Rev William Barber, and on Christian Hate, used to maintain White Supremacy [view link] [view link]
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  If you want a dance, but not from her, you can always excuse yourself and go sit at the stage until you see someone you like. If you don’t want dances at all, just tell her so. If you want dances from her later, tell her and offer her a drink, so that she knows you aren’t lying. If you don’t mind her making money until then, let her know, and give her the look when you are ready.
• Warrior15

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  6 years ago

  If I'm not interested in the girl, I will be polite and courteous. But fairly early on, I will say something like " I waiting on someone else ". I actually don't want her to sit and talk if I"m not interested. That perfect girl might walk right by me because she thinks I'm occupied.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  No real rule on this but I believe if one is to have a rule I would be nice enough to let the girls know if you will be buying tonight or not. The rest is just an honest reflexion on what kind of client you desire to be Once I gave deep reflexion upon this I myself became a more generous client because I wanted the girl's to view my image as a man that had the money to pamper a girl if I chose to. So me personally I will buy a dance or tip under the table the value of a dance every twenty minutes or so...I will also buy drinks and food if they so desire. I do so because I'm scouting for a paid GF...usually this is a great strategy to prove that I have the cash flow to support one. In my twenties I was dead broke and was good at getting a lot of table time, talk and snuggling for free or damn close to it It honestly depends on you, the image you desire to reflect in relation to the game you desire to run to fulfilling of your goals
• larryfisherman

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  6 years ago

  If I was thinking of getting a dance from her I’d probably buy her a drink, but I wouldn’t tip. I know they are there to make money, but maybe after 10 min of chatting I’ll let her know I’m not gonna do dances at this moment, but maybe later. I’m basically indirectly telling her to walk the floor and come back to me later. Some of them choose to stay with me because it’s slow, or they don’t feel like walking the floor, or whatever reason.
• Clubber

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  6 years ago

  Let's cut to the chase. It's YOUR time and YOUR money to do with as you wish. It's HER time to invest on you should she wish. Done!
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Better not to take up their time unless you plan on giving them money one way or another. SJG Ever seen anything like this, alligators frozen in ice, hibernating, North Carolina: [view link] MLK Anti-Vietnam War Speech This is not the South, its NYC. [view link] [view link]