tuscl

How Much Millennial Flakiness Do You Guys Tolerate?

Saturday, December 30, 2017 11:14 AM
Hi all, I have read some of the past posts about texting strippers/CFs, and the associated flakiness and slow response etc. But I'm still not sure myself how much to tolerate, and because of this, in general, when a stripper gives me a number, I have in the past never bothered to call or text. However, my current CF (probably in her early to mid 20s) of 6 months and I have been missing each other often in the club , so we decided to exchange numbers purely for the sake of coordinating days to meet ITC. First attempt at coordinating - I let her know of a day I planned to go in. She said she was not scheduled to work but would add in that night. This was set up 2 days prior to the night, and confirmed by text enthusiastically by her. Then at 5PM of the planned night, she texts that something has come up and she can't go in. At least it was an apologetically written text. Since I had planned to go in anyway, I did, and had fun dances with other dancers. Question is what do I do with this, either: 1) the 51 year old in me sees this as a weak, last minute cancellation/flake and wants to consider demoting her off the CF position.....and picking a new CF.... While I suppose something better than working truly may have come up, it still seems flaky to me to cancel a set plan. 2) Should I see this as typical millennial flakiness that may happen more often than not, and give her a break? T her credit, she did text me to notify, and at least it was a few hours prior, and was apologetic. Some millennials might have just not showed up, with no text or call at all.... Perhaps I should just let it slide, and just go back to meeting up with her ITC when we both happen to be there, without trying to coordinate..... 3) or something in between? I have seen some guys comment that they "make it known" to the stripper that if she flakes, his money IS going to be spent on others.... how exactly do you do that?! Regardless, I think I'm going to go back to avoiding texting as a general principle!! thanks for any thoughts!

46 comments

  • flagooner
    •
    7 years ago
    Fucking Millenials
  • wallanon
    •
    7 years ago
    "But I'm still not sure myself how much to tolerate" There isn't a correct answer on this. Each guy is going to have his own threshold. If she's your favorite, that's what she is. If it's about whether or not you want to punish her for a perceived slight, those are two different things.
  • bubba267
    •
    7 years ago
    Better question may be how much flakiness we tolerate from a zero review poster. In all seriousness, you haven’t been doing this very long if you get butt hurt by a girl not coming in when she wasn’t scheduled to work. Most of the guys who write about “firing” their CF over little stuff like this have either power/control issues, or they way over estimate the importance of their money and patronage in the eye’s of these girls. My suggestion is to not sweat the small stuff....and write some reviews.
  • shadowcat
    •
    7 years ago
    It depends on how good the pussy is! :)
  • Rickberge
    •
    7 years ago
    Flakiness is apart of the game. The day your mad at a stripper is the day you need to stop going to the strip club.
  • joewebber
    •
    7 years ago
    first world problems. they don't care about you...probably not even your money for the most part, unless rent it due. have fun when she's there. find someone else when she's not. you cannot depend on anyone working in a strip club, period.
  • jaredlucas
    •
    7 years ago
    It may help to know that I found my CF after similarly getting stood up - in your case (and mine) our then CF ladies texted their expected absence so that's a plus. Shows they care to nurture the custy - dancer relationship. For that reason I wasn't bent - especially after meeting my Present day CF as a result. After a couple of years of regular hobbling I have learned that There are plenty of fresh ladies coming to work everyday if you ever tire of your CF behaviors. Lastly, like it it not , texting or snapchat is how millenials typically communicate.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    It's the nature of the beast - it's like getting a dog then complaining that it barks. Stripper flakiness is like snow in Canada - if you don't like snow, then don't move there. IMO too many-guys try to apply real-world logic to strip-club bizarro-world - when dealing w/ strippers is not like one is doing business w/ Amazon or IBM, so stop expecting the same type of customer-service. Many of these girls get burned-out w/ dancing - most of us would get burned out too being there multiple days per week even though we are there for enjoyment vs work - many work as much, or more precisely, as little as they need to and only crank it up when seriously hard for cash - i.e. if they are doing pretty-well w/ their current work-load, many don't feel like going the extra-mile/working-extra. Again stripper flakiness is a common issue *even* when they are in the club (i.e. in many clubs dancers hide in the dressing-room for extended periods of time or just stare at their phones or just sit and talk w/ other dancers - it is what it is) - but of course nothing is universal and not all dancers are the same and why many SCers will stick to a fave-dancer once they find one that's somewhat reliable - and also many guys w/ faves probably see her fairly often; not just ping her once in a blue-moon when in the mood. You are better off working around her schedule than yours - i.e. agree to meet on days she's scheduled to work vs on the days you pick - many of these girls often have complicated lives outside the SC that severely affects their reliability - again it's the nature of the beast.
  • Warrior15
    •
    7 years ago
    Nature of the beast. I would do something close to your #3. Let her know what she missed out on. And also look for something or someone else. There are too many pretty girls out there that will do the same thing.
  • Rick999
    •
    7 years ago
    I'm generation X and I get along with millenials just fine. As far as flakiness, I see it as more stripper related than age related.
  • Corvus
    •
    7 years ago
    It sounds like she at least let you know ahead of time she couldn't make it. That's better than most. Keep trying if she is truly the girl you want to see. Or you can always respond to her cancellation text with one of your own asking who she recommends you spend your $500 on that night? These girls are motivated by money above just about anything else.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    Text her a pic of your bare-erection w/ the caption "look at what you missed"
  • JohnTitor
    •
    7 years ago
    The WORST thing you can do with a stripper is make an issue out of mundane matters. Chill out.
  • McNaffles
    •
    7 years ago
    Well, you have communication working. That's a good thing! She's chosen to do something else. Fine and pretty normal. I'd text back for sure, though I'd have done it before I went out ... hmm you've known this girl 6 months? but this is the first semi-flake? I guess the real decision was heading to the club anyways rather than postponing.
  • rh48hr
    •
    7 years ago
    Flakiness is the nature of the stripper beast. Papi put it best, don't try to apply real world principles to strip club dynamics. You will drive yourself mad attempting to do so. With that said, if it becomes a consistent issue you can't allow them to take advantage either. If it happens again make your expectations known. Especially if you are spending good money on her ($500+) per visit. Otherwise she may not care.
  • Huntsman
    •
    7 years ago
    I think the answer to your post is the same as if you’d fallen in love with a stripper. Don’t let yourself get too caught up with any given stripper. There are others out there.
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    If she texted you to let you know about changed plans, that's well above average for strippers. FWIW, I have dealt with non-stripper Millennials who were more reliable than the average Baby Boomer. I try to have compassion for non-genXers in general for missing out and being corralled into a conformist herd.
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    > Its honestly a challenge trying to set anything up with a millennial civvie girl. Soy boy!
  • timothyjames55
    •
    7 years ago
    Where I've gone wrong, and what I wish I could change is that I simply have cared too much about all this in the past. It's fun to have pretty little 20 somethings texting you sweet nothings and then having a good time in the club with them (and outside as well), but I'm trying to remind myself more than I used to that it is all fake. I've even built what I would consider to be the damn near closest thing you could possibly have to a "friendship" with a few strippers, and even still I constantly remind myself that it is all fake. Yes, they are people, they have real lives, real friends, real relationships. I learn intimate things about their lives that turn out to be true, but still, I take everything with a grain of salt. Unfortunately it did take one very bad experience for me to get my head on straighter, but now I see it all for what it is. I've got a couple different strippers that I sometimes meet up with when I go to Las Vegas. We will go to lunch or dinner. No expectations, no money paid for time (other than buying a meal, like I might do for a number of friends), no OTC. I may or may not see them in the club later that night. That's why I loosely use the term "friendship". I'm not entirely sure if they actually do enjoy my company and it's fun to get out once in a while (only about a 10 year age gap), or if they are just masters of their craft and know how to play the long game, and small investments of time out to dinner can add up to continuing to see them ITC. Lord knows I do spend a pretty penny on them when I go in.
  • Jascoi
    •
    7 years ago
    leave the Millennials for me. flakes are everywhere.
  • Rickberge
    •
    7 years ago
    Some real good advice in this thread. Two main things I got is dont push it and dont be needy.
  • FTS
    •
    7 years ago
    Why is flakiness associated with an entire generation? Stupid Gen X-ers...
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    > Why is flakiness associated with an entire generation? Stupid Gen X-ers... DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DICKS MY GF HAD TO SUCK TO PAY FOR THIS LAWN? OFF!!! I thought it was more of a Boomer thing to whine about Millenials. Back in the day, they called Gen X slackers when the economy was down. FWIW, Gen X women were just as flaky when they were that age. It's a beautiful young woman with unlimited options thing, not a generational thing.
  • scgato
    •
    7 years ago
    Your lucky she text you to let you know she wasn’t going. That’s almost a keeper lol. The only way to make her reliable is to throw some stacks her way. Then she’ll do whatever u want. Money talks. That’s the game.
  • tristanJ
    •
    7 years ago
    Thanks all. All great comments and thoughts. Bubba267 - I just recently discovered TUSCL. Wish I had discovered it long ago! SC life would have been so much better and I could have gotten out of the newbie level faster! I will start posting reviews!! Rick999, ppwh and futuretrackstar - I think that it was unfair of me to put "millennial" in the title. The flakiness may largely be something that is more common in the young (regardless of generation), and particularly strippers? When in college 30 years ago, I didn't have enough money for SClubs so can't comment on strippers at the time. But the young girls in college at the time- they sure did have ways of being flaky. They just didn't have phones and texting to do it, but there were still ways to flake. I think that texting and cell phone reliance just makes it easier to be a flake?. Corvus and ppwh and scgato - sounds like by getting replies and apologetic cancellation message - I am actually in pretty good shape. While sometimes my club visits could be as long as one month apart, my spending has been repeatedly good, and that is probably the reason I am in good shape... jaredlucas - actually, on the night I went in, got some dances from a new young stripper to the club who I had not seen before, who has some good potential and worth repeating... dc9428 - that's a very good point too. On the rare occasion that I go out to a nightclub with younger single guy friends or colleagues , I see how low their yield is from phone numbers exchanged and texts. 10 phone numbers attained and exchanged texts can quite often yield no results in the end! And as a I mentioned, girls 30 years ago also had ways of flaking out, just no texting to do it with! For those who were SClubbing 30 years ago, I wonder if there was there stripper flakiness back then too?
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    > Corvus and ppwh and scgato - sounds like by getting replies and apologetic cancellation message - I am actually in pretty good shape. While sometimes my club visits could be as long as one month apart, my spending has been repeatedly good, and that is probably the reason I am in good shape... Agreed. It can be surprising how much a small differential in spending can affect her attitude. The other part is having a chill attitude around her. I disagree with those who recommended passive aggressive ways of getting back at her. Whether stripper or civvie, I have always had better luck letting stuff go. In other words, allow her cancelling to be a kind gesture, because it is. I have had CFs who couldn't keep a schedule but would text me about their change of plans who were awesome once we actually did connect. I would never trade those memories for getting even with them over not keeping the original schedule.
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    Also, I have found that when dealing with young women, planning more than 18 hours in advance can have a pretty high failure rate until you have been interacting with them for a few months. As far as I can tell, anything more than 18 hours ahead feels like more of an obligation instead of going with the flow.
  • Subraman
    •
    7 years ago
    ppwh-->"Also, I have found that when dealing with young women, planning more than 18 hours in advance can have a pretty high failure rate until you have been interacting with them for a few months. As far as I can tell, anything more than 18 hours ahead feels like more of an obligation instead of going with the flow." Absolutely, positively agree. It's a pretty common view among strippers. Of course, the problem here is: many of us have families and jobs, and other obligations that make it difficult to be very spontaneous. -->"The other part is having a chill attitude around her. I disagree with those who recommended passive aggressive ways of getting back at her. " Agree a thousand percent on this. In fact, if you feel like getting back at her seems like a great idea -- go to the club, make her jealous by being with another girl, say -- that's a fantastic reason to re-examine your mental health and whether this is for you.
  • Subraman
    •
    7 years ago
    Some good advice above. Flakiness & passive aggressiveness are a guarantee with strippers. If you're not willing to accept some of this, then you're better off going with a more reliable professional (e.g., an escort) or trying to find a responsible college girl type on SA -- I agree with others that this is a stripper issue, not a millennial issue. That said, some guys seem to use this to let the strippers absolutely shit on them and disrespect them. You'll have to decide for yourself where the line is for you. I do NOT excuse any behavior, no matter how outrageous; but I do expect there will be flakiness and lack of communication at times. When it gets to the point that it's more trouble, and leaves me more irritated, than the sex with her is worth, that's the signal to move on
  • scgato
    •
    7 years ago
    It’s all business for them. The only thing they need to know is that they lost out on money. Also never plan anything more than a day in advance. I told my ATF why did u ignore my text and calls in the beginning and she said I didn’t think you where serious. So when she started making stacks from me, all that changed.
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    > I agree with others that this is a stripper issue, not a millennial issue. That said, some guys seem to use this to let the strippers absolutely shit on them and disrespect them. You'll have to decide for yourself where the line is for you. I think of this as The Middle Way of not being an asshole while also not being a little bitch. I find it helpful to meditate on koans such as "What is the sound of one hand fapping" and "Is it better to have a bird in hand or a finger in the bush"
  • Subraman
    •
    7 years ago
    Ha ha, the asshole/little-bitch rule is applicable all over the place, evidently :)
  • tristanJ
    •
    7 years ago
    Subraman --> "Agree a thousand percent on this. In fact, if you feel like getting back at her seems like a great idea -- go to the club, make her jealous by being with another girl, say -- that's a fantastic reason to re-examine your mental health and whether this is for you." This is a very good point, agree. Indeed, to try to go in to the club and get dances with another dancer in front of the CF's face in order to spite her would be a totally insane and totally counterproductive thing to do! Even to go in on a night when CF is not there and get dances with another dancer could in general be tricky, (even if one has innocent intentions), especially in a club like this in which the culture seems to be that a new dancer sometimes asks "Are you someone's regular? is it ok with you and her if I dance for you?" (another strip club "bizzaro world" concept that I don't understand....).... so actually, when CF is not working, it might actually be better to go get dances with other girls at another club in town just to avoid any possibility of getting intertwined in needless drama? ppwh--> "I think of this as The Middle Way of not being an asshole while also not being a little bitch." I guess this is the essence of my question and the essence of the answer to it is to find that middle ground....
  • ppwh
    •
    7 years ago
    > I guess this is the essence of my question and the essence of the answer to it is to find that middle ground.... @tristanJ, This is the article that breaks it down: [view link]
  • scgato
    •
    7 years ago
    Getting back at a stripper you really like is counterproductive. If she is hot and young, there are plenty of people willing to throw down some money. Their life is already a mess. They don’t need more drama. It’s best to just tell her so she knows next time. My ATF would turn down rooms for $500-$1k if she knows I will be there. It’s a respect thing. She don’t want me to be second lol.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    Being afraid to touch another dancer b/c of how another dancer that you are PAYING $$$ to will react is over-placating if not basically handing the fave one's balls along with one's wallet
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    Having to head to a club across town even on a fave's day off is beyond PLish and IMO kinda a clear example one does not really understand nor know the strip club game as well as one needs to
  • JamesSD
    •
    7 years ago
    She cancelled a few hours ahead of time with an apology. I would stock with her, but you can put her on "probation " in your head if you like.
  • Rickberge
    •
    7 years ago
    "Having to head to a club across town even on a fave's day off is beyond PLish and IMO kinda a clear example one does not really understand nor know the strip club game as well as one needs to" Damn so you got people going to different clubs to get dances because their favorite is not working at the club; to avoid stripper-custie drama? Lol... smh
  • Subraman
    •
    7 years ago
    tristanJ-->"This is a very good point, agree. Indeed, to try to go in to the club and get dances with another dancer in front of the CF's face in order to spite her would be a totally insane and totally counterproductive thing to do!" right. But it's all about motivation, IMO. If you go there and get dances with other strippers in order to make her "jealous" or teach her a lesson or whatever, that's a problem. If you've decided that you have fallen out of lust with her and want a new CF, damn straight you should go when you want and get dances with whoever you want... if it's not about petty "make her jealous", but you've decided to move on, then that's different. Although I really think in this case her transgression was pretty slight -- she cancelled with a few hours notice, with an apologetically written text -- so for me this would not be a big deal. If she had a long history of doing this, I might think otherwise. -->"Even to go in on a night when CF is not there and get dances with another dancer could in general be tricky, " That's where you lost all of us here :) Of course you can go when she isn't there and get a dance with whoever you want. If you feel like you might get in trouble, that's your inner bitch speaking (it's okay, we all have one). If the girls think you're weak, they'll manipulate you with these ownership games; if you just stay above-board and act like you're doing nothing wrong (which you are NOT), without any hiding or passive-aggressive behavior, you'll find it's all just accepted. This doesn't only go for when she's not in the club; if my now-fired CF is in the club and I'm there to see someone else, I greet her warmly, tell her "great to see you! I'm here to Porsche today, but I hope you have a great day!" and move on, drama-free
  • tristanJ
    •
    7 years ago
    I see you guys' point now - going to choice B club just to avoid trouble/drama would be pretty beyond -PL , and inner bitch taking over:) I just read your linked thread on ""I think of this as The Middle Way of not being an asshole while also not being a little bitch." - great stuff! indeed your thoughts on that thread apply to many aspects of life beyond just SCing.!
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    Dancers well know many custies often like to play the field and know there's competition in the club, but many manipulate custies making them think they'll get jealous when in fact it's just about the $$$ - hell often times RILs start getting taken for granted b/c the dancer has hin so wrapped around her finger and playing the field often puts her back on track
  • tristanJ
    •
    7 years ago
    i will add that my CF has in no way tried any ownership stuff, if anything is very easy going. However some of the brand new dancers seem extremely scared to dance with a custie who may be someone's regular and tread on toes. I guess certain aggressive/ownership type dancers have given the newbie dancers a threatening lecture or something....
  • Subraman
    •
    7 years ago
    -->"Dancers well know many custies often like to play the field and know there's competition in the club, but many manipulate custies making them think they'll get jealous when in fact it's just about the $$$" Papi shooting a bullseye on the correct. It's hard to blame the girls. Many times, the girls will just use rhetoric that they CAN claim is just joking and flirty, but they know can manipulate weak customers. If she saw you talking to another stripper, "Oh, you're cheating on me!"; it's part joke, but she knows very well that there's some false-teaming that can go on in his head, if he WANTS to believe that she cares for him beyond being a customer, well, now she's used words that are usually only applied to couples.
  • rogertex
    •
    7 years ago
    Papi - "Stripper flakiness is like snow in Canada - if you don't like snow, then don't move there." Another classic by Papi! In fact this thread is full of good advice. Keep in mind - you are free to be flaky too. Trust me - your fave is likely not gonna be butt-hurt if you enjoy other dancers. That's a big freedom for little annoyance.
  • tristanJ
    •
    7 years ago
    wow the advice on this thread is incredibly good. Thanks.
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