Is this a real thing, or just great acting/flirtation? How would i describe this? In general, more physical affection, she responds more favorably/predictably to your touch/contact, and well the sparks are flying of course, largely from your end, but it does seem like there are definitely some on her end as well. In my experience, i tend to notice this more (two-way chemistry) with the slightly less attractive (she still has to be attractive if not very attractive for ANY sparks to fly), usually a bit thicker dancers.
Nah I've experienced this before. When it's real you know it. Maybe it's the liquor talking from that time but man we we're both really into her dances and that lead into some hot DFK and a GFE that I wasn't even looking for. Been quite a while since I had one of those memorable experiences where you're just like wow. But they do happen
Bigfoot is real !!! I know it. Analysis of the latest set of prints found in its' forest show genetic markers for txtittydumbass/Douchester in the pool of shit they took when they saw him !! LMAO
I think I once had some positive chemistry with an old atf. However, I’m pretty sure it was my perception of her attraction to the contents of my wallet.
They might find Bigfoot - and Jimmy Hoffa before they find a stripper who has legitimate chemistry with a pl.
I don’t think I’d even notice real chemistry bc I’m so preoccupied with faking it and making the customer happy. Even if I’m actully enjoying the lap dances, it still feels like something I’m trying to do well, so that he will give me money, so I’m guarded in a way without even meaning to be.
This might not be the case with some girls, but I think it’s partly what makes me good at dances. I have just enough distance mentally, that I’m able to connect and get close physically. The physical closeness probably feels like chemistry to the customer tho. Stuff like responding to his slight signals with my own slight signals. It could be a type of chemistry, but for me it’s more like the chemistry experienced while playing spades, or some other partner thing.
I once had a dancer who seemed legitimately happy to see me in the club. I had gotten dances from her once previously - she had just gotten to the club - she came to me to say hi - her shift hadn’t yet started - and she asked the manager if she could come and hang with me before hitting the stage. She sat with me - we chatted a bit - and I took her to vip after a few minutes. She made it seem like chemistry - and it worked for me - as I was happy to spend time and money on her.
However, if she came to me with a big smile - and I told her my pockets were empty - I doubt the smile or chemistry - would have lasted!
There’s lots of customers I enjoy as friends. I’m sure I like a lot more of my customers as friends, than they do me. I wouldn’t even hang out w my boyfriend, or best friend, at work for free tho.
I have thought about this as well. I always thought it was bs pl's tell themselves to feel special. But there is a connection with certain strippers, some more than others. Of course its mostly an act, as there is no real chemistry, but even still i think a certain level of "chemistry" is required to keep up the "act".
I think there are a few times that the stripper is genuinely attracted to a customer. I think Poledancer83 may have said something like that, but i might be thinking of someone else. It would be a very rare occasion for that customer to be me. I generally consider myself just average at best, maybe above average but nothing remarkable. But one dancer did tell me i was exactly or mostly her type and danced in a way for me to believe it; i miss that girl. Also some girls may have a particular physical fetish (and i'm not talking about BBC) that a few PLs might meet. There was another girl that gave me her number and kept asking me when i saw her again why i never called her. I had a feeling i might be able to do her for free, because she seemed like she just wanted a really good lay with me. I guess i was just too picky about her to take her up on on it, and then find out that she wanted to get paid.
Also i think that there is a reason that usually the younger strippers, particularly the babies, gravitate toward customers closer to their age. They may not spend much, may actually be assholes or douches (and a lot of girls, especially strippers, seem attracted to this type or something like it, for whatever reason) but the strippers seem like they would rather dance for them for whatever reason. My ATF actually seems to be able to actually extract a decent amount of money from younger customers where most dancers really struggle with this type.
There was another dancer that i remembered a ways back, that said i was pushing all of her buttons right, and even seemed a little uncomfortable as if she didn't want to fully enjoy herself or get turned on and actually ended the dances before i wanted to despite usually having no problem milking PLs for whatever they had. I've also had much longer sessions with her previously. She kept on saying, not here not here, not ITC, so she wasn't interested into moving it to a room. She asked me how long i could last in sex, which was a strange question to me to ask during a dance. Maybe some of these girls just get a little horny every now and then. She actually did slip me her number rather surreptitiously, but then she quit the club and i don't even know if that number works anymore. Dang, lost OTC opportunity and i miss that girl too.
If a guy can masterbate on a pillow and enjoy it, surely a stripper can enjoy a live, warm, customer! Doesn't mean she is going to change her life over a PL, just knows toowhen the experience is getting good.
@Bj99
Even though you're faking and trying to make your customer happy, i don't think you're engaging in hot and heavy makeout sessions and actively trying to get yourself off. I'm not saying all the "chemistry" strippers do this (many don't IME), but chemistry is definitely easiest to tell and hardest to fake during kissing, but i don't doubt that some strippers could fake even this.
Just like women can fake orgasms, they can surely fake "chemistry" - she's just doing her job similar to how one may have "chemistry" with their boss but at the end of the day it's a business relationship.
I'm a glass-half-empty PL and in my PL-mind I don't put much stock as to the genuiness of a paid relationship, I enjoy it for what it is (she pretends to like me amd I pretend to believe her)
I don't think the Venn Diagram should be one in which we use male definitions of attraction as though they were synonymous with female definitions of attraction. "Is that person acting like he or she likes me, or does he or she really like me?" is a question which makes sense when asked of typical heterosexual males only. For other categories, including for younger hot-looking females who are currently choosing to behave as heterosexual strippers, the "acting" as opposed to "really" segments don't produce as much of a distinction. "I'm behaving like I like him because he and I are in the zone in which I behave that way" is the answer to whether or not she "likes" you.
To some extent. Sure, some other parts of it are simply, she's good at the performance in a manner that makes her seem (to the customer) appealing. The degree to which it is a CYNICAL performance as opposed to an honest or sincere performance? Dunno. How sincere are you when you kiss your wife?
Trying to figure out stripper chemistry is like doing chinese arithmetic. It can be done but you'll fuck up your brain trying.
But it may not be that complicated. If she wants to hang out/ have sex with you without any money being exchanged then thats a pretty good indicator that there is chemistry.
Another possible indicator is if she tongue kisses you for more than 10 seconds. For whatever reason, a stripper can give a bbbj and swallow your cum but she wont even come close to kissing your ass lol
I suppose one can find out by asking for free “chemistry” when that seems to be happening. You’ll find out in a hurry how real it is.
Strippers are human and can certainly get horny or feel chemistry. They can also be friends. I just don’t think sexual chemistry applies to customers. At least almost never. Like BJ said, they’re working and their mindset is not the same as ours.
Select the girl yourself, and you lead it, and in the front room. Get your girl off script, learn how to come on to them verbally, and with escalating contact. Feed her money as a show of respect. Get a front room intense makeout session going. Only after you have this going and are really getting close with her and it is time for your own pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room.
Remember after to take her home with you to continue and to keep on seeing her regularly.
I'd like to think that any "chemistry" is that although they find me disgusting, they find me less disgusting than other customers and so they gravitate towards me.
chemistry between dancers and customers does happen occasionally. from my own experience i would say the most typical or usual giveaway is that she consistently goes above and beyond what is necessary from a purely transactional perspective. for example, she'll spend much more time chatting with me than necessary. even return to me again and again in between dancing for other customers. telling me that I don't have to buy dances and she is serious.
some are good actresses, yes. but in my case, i can use dancers I got to know outside of clubs as reference points, and think back to how they behaved in the club before we started getting together outside the club
I believe that chemistry is possible. I tend to latch on to girls for whatever reason, and I nurture that relationship. The girls are working, but it doesn't mean they don't play favorites or have certain guys they prefer to see.
I'll put this into perspective. It's just like any other service industry. When I used to install alarm systems and cable TV there were some customers that I could really connect with. We had good conversations, had a few laughs, and occasionally I'd be offered a hotdog on the grill while I was there working. For the short time that I was there in the customer's house, I was essentially their new friend. But as soon as I was finished with the work and the paperwork was signed, I was gone.
So to answer the OP's question, I'd say YES that the chemistry is real. But it's not quite the "I'll call you later" real. I've been in the club with dancers that just felt like a mechanical bull. And then there are others that just felt like the perfect fit. She felt good, smelled good, and her body wrapped perfectly around mine. I've had some dancers talk dirty in my ear as part of the "act" while others get their arms around me and exhale in my ear as to say, "I don't want this moment to end." But unless you have more money to spend, this is where it will have to end. The chemistry is real but the money getting from my pocket to her pocket is what it's really about.
this is why people should have some actual experience with strip clubs and strippers before coming onto a site like this. there's a lot of posing and closed minds and misinformation and just bad advice given here that makes it impossible to actually try to connect with dancers as real people. i feel sorry for the guys like larry fishsticks whose info about clubbing begins and ends with tuscl.
It’s sometimes real and sometimes acting. BookGuy is right, “chemistry” doesn’t mean the same thing to a stripper as it does to us.
My ATF and I seem to have chemistry from both our perspectives. She can turn me on just by looking at me, and she tells me that the fact that I’ll do damn near anything she wants in bed without complaining makes her wet. She’s fallen asleep on my chest more than once, all cuddled up. There’s an emotional bond that makes the physical one even more intense.
The MILF and I have a different sort of chemistry. We talk. A lot. We fuck. When we’re together, she’s entirely in the moment, focused and obviously enjoying herself. It’s not the same sort of wanton abandonment my ATF gives me, but she’s definitely a different person with a dick or tongue in her than she is in the club.
Sure if the definition of chemistry means she enjoys giving you dances vs. others with some mutual attraction, clicking personalities or even just comfort with each other. Any dancer is gonna have preferences and maybe get off a bit on some customers. But as BJ says its mostly acting and especially the pros are gonna have their routine to simulate this to extract more out of their customer.
Chemistry as a physical thing can happen. I'm often showing up places I've never been, and to me it's been an advantage. If you think strippers don't get bored with the same faces and places, ask yourself how you look at your favs after you've gone around the barn a few times and seen all their tricks. Yes, strippers have game. Lots of game. So do we. I don't care if it's in or out of character, but sometimes something just clicks with a dancer and you can name it what you want but I'll call it chemistry.
I also get that somed folks who post here have created meaningful long term relationships with strippers. That happens, too, but it's not my thing. My ATF is my ATF because I thought the walls would melt every time we got things going well. That was it and one day it was over.
I know some of my regulars like me better than others; it's obvious. But unless they're fucking you for free, they don't really "like" you. They just hate you less than some other PL's.
It’s very difficult to determine if there is chemistry with a dancer - unless you have met her otc. I think the itc environment is designed to make you think there is an attraction - or chemistry. The social interaction and conversations - can be minimal - and it’s easier to act attracted when a dancer is in the familiar area of her home club.
When you meet up otc - in the harsh light of day - and you need to fill gaps in conversation - and you see real body language - that’s where you can see if there is chemistry - or if she’s just looking for $$$.
"It’s very difficult to determine if there is chemistry with a dancer" Didn't say it wasn't. But after many opportunities to see how things go, I'm ok with my thoughts on the topic.
Of course sometimes its real. Often? Fuck no. Occasionally? Probably not. Sometimes, as in not never? Absolutely.
As others have said, it's a grayscale phenomena not a black and white thing. Sometimes its just enough to find me less repulsive than another particularly unappealing customer. Sometimes its enough to hang out for days. Sometimes its physical, sometimes its not. Strippers are people too. I'm sure BJ's comment hold true for her and likely others; as I'm sure I've mistaken real chemistry for a what I'll call work ethic as a result. I'm sure I've also been jaded and mistaken genuine affection for simple stripper shit.
I'll end with this, if you have to ask if its ever real in a place like this, you probably are better off just assuming its never real. The likelihood of it being real is very small & the consequences of thinking its real when it isn't can be quite severe.
I might be skeptical regarding real chemistry with strippers - but in my opinion - I prefer to simply enjoy the feeling of a connection/chemistry. I don’t want to overthink it. I’m paying the dancer - and she’s acting interested - and I’m enjoying it. I know it won’t continue out of the club (unless on an otc date) - and I’m happy to enjoy the attention while it lasts.
^ I’m not actully saying it’s never real, but I just can’t tell while working bc the fact that I’m earning money creates a little distance, even if it’s only bc I’m earning money. It’s not unlike how role playing can create a little distance (which makes it sexy) for actual partners. I hate to say it, but I’d have to go on a real date to tell, and even that could feel like an extension of the club, if the guy is still a potential customers. The best way around that is to give me the idea that you would still come give me money at work, for fun, regardless, so that I could relax a little. It’s not perfect either.
I’ve heard guys say that if you want to date a stripper, never give her money, but I don’t think that works on the good earners bc we won’t give a guy who doesn’t give us money the time of day, so there’s no making friends to start with.
^ I’m perfectly ok with it being what it is. I’m not going to rethink the experience after. I enjoy the club experience with a dancer. I enjoy the interaction - and I enjoy it when a dancer appears to enjoy my company.
In my view - I simply want to enjoy the experience - and not think about whether there’s more to it.
I'm not asking if what i felt with a few dancers (but more than a handful or two) was chemistry. Only i and she can really answer that question. But more of how common it was for others. Apparently, very uncommon, and this doesn't surprise me. Chemistry takes two, and yes there are different levels of chemistry from just simple mutual attraction/connection to actual emotional feelings (this almost always tends to be much worse on the PL side).
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Hahahahaha! Oh man, that's a good one! 'Is it real?' Ha!
I think it's possible, though. That said, I also hold out hope that Bigfoot is a real thing.
They might find Bigfoot - and Jimmy Hoffa before they find a stripper who has legitimate chemistry with a pl.
This might not be the case with some girls, but I think it’s partly what makes me good at dances. I have just enough distance mentally, that I’m able to connect and get close physically. The physical closeness probably feels like chemistry to the customer tho. Stuff like responding to his slight signals with my own slight signals. It could be a type of chemistry, but for me it’s more like the chemistry experienced while playing spades, or some other partner thing.
However, if she came to me with a big smile - and I told her my pockets were empty - I doubt the smile or chemistry - would have lasted!
I have thought about this as well. I always thought it was bs pl's tell themselves to feel special. But there is a connection with certain strippers, some more than others. Of course its mostly an act, as there is no real chemistry, but even still i think a certain level of "chemistry" is required to keep up the "act".
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Pretty funny there -- but I think that's an example alchemy, not chemistry.
Even though you're faking and trying to make your customer happy, i don't think you're engaging in hot and heavy makeout sessions and actively trying to get yourself off. I'm not saying all the "chemistry" strippers do this (many don't IME), but chemistry is definitely easiest to tell and hardest to fake during kissing, but i don't doubt that some strippers could fake even this.
I'm a glass-half-empty PL and in my PL-mind I don't put much stock as to the genuiness of a paid relationship, I enjoy it for what it is (she pretends to like me amd I pretend to believe her)
To some extent. Sure, some other parts of it are simply, she's good at the performance in a manner that makes her seem (to the customer) appealing. The degree to which it is a CYNICAL performance as opposed to an honest or sincere performance? Dunno. How sincere are you when you kiss your wife?
But it may not be that complicated. If she wants to hang out/ have sex with you without any money being exchanged then thats a pretty good indicator that there is chemistry.
Another possible indicator is if she tongue kisses you for more than 10 seconds. For whatever reason, a stripper can give a bbbj and swallow your cum but she wont even come close to kissing your ass lol
Strippers are human and can certainly get horny or feel chemistry. They can also be friends. I just don’t think sexual chemistry applies to customers. At least almost never. Like BJ said, they’re working and their mindset is not the same as ours.
Remember after to take her home with you to continue and to keep on seeing her regularly.
SJG
Marx, biography:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joql2JbD…
Stalinism is the deformity of Communism.
Fascism is the deformity of Capitalism.
And I add, "Neoliberalism is Neofascism."
My feeling? If its just an act, I still enjoy it. See how far it goes and take it as far as you can.
So to answer the OP's question, I'd say YES that the chemistry is real. But it's not quite the "I'll call you later" real. I've been in the club with dancers that just felt like a mechanical bull. And then there are others that just felt like the perfect fit. She felt good, smelled good, and her body wrapped perfectly around mine. I've had some dancers talk dirty in my ear as part of the "act" while others get their arms around me and exhale in my ear as to say, "I don't want this moment to end." But unless you have more money to spend, this is where it will have to end. The chemistry is real but the money getting from my pocket to her pocket is what it's really about.
My ATF and I seem to have chemistry from both our perspectives. She can turn me on just by looking at me, and she tells me that the fact that I’ll do damn near anything she wants in bed without complaining makes her wet. She’s fallen asleep on my chest more than once, all cuddled up. There’s an emotional bond that makes the physical one even more intense.
The MILF and I have a different sort of chemistry. We talk. A lot. We fuck. When we’re together, she’s entirely in the moment, focused and obviously enjoying herself. It’s not the same sort of wanton abandonment my ATF gives me, but she’s definitely a different person with a dick or tongue in her than she is in the club.
When you meet up otc - in the harsh light of day - and you need to fill gaps in conversation - and you see real body language - that’s where you can see if there is chemistry - or if she’s just looking for $$$.
As others have said, it's a grayscale phenomena not a black and white thing. Sometimes its just enough to find me less repulsive than another particularly unappealing customer. Sometimes its enough to hang out for days. Sometimes its physical, sometimes its not. Strippers are people too. I'm sure BJ's comment hold true for her and likely others; as I'm sure I've mistaken real chemistry for a what I'll call work ethic as a result. I'm sure I've also been jaded and mistaken genuine affection for simple stripper shit.
I'll end with this, if you have to ask if its ever real in a place like this, you probably are better off just assuming its never real. The likelihood of it being real is very small & the consequences of thinking its real when it isn't can be quite severe.
I’ve heard guys say that if you want to date a stripper, never give her money, but I don’t think that works on the good earners bc we won’t give a guy who doesn’t give us money the time of day, so there’s no making friends to start with.
In my view - I simply want to enjoy the experience - and not think about whether there’s more to it.
SJG