They're gone. They're all gone.

Hey guys. I hope you are having a good holiday season. As the sun sets on 2006, I can't help but be wistful about what's happened to be me, stripper-wise, this year. It's not all good. Not at all. It hit me a while ago, in fact, that many of the dancers I consider my favorites I no longer see, and I don't know where they are.

It started out with Cali from the King of Diamonds here in the Twin Cities. I always had great dancers (albeit table) from her, and we would always chat about whether she's going to pursue her MBA and whether she was moving to the Southwest or not. Then in my trips earlier this year, she became distant, almost bitchy. The VIP she always disappeared to didn't help. Then one day late in the summer, she was gone. None of the girls I talked to knows where she went.

Jade from Hollywood Show Club in East St. Louis came next. We last spoke to each other in the spring. Then, I IM'd her repeatedly, telling her I was going back down in the early fall, but she never replied. I went into HSC; wasn't there. Finally, I had the nerve to finally call her, only to get a voicemail message from a girl not named, er, "Jade." Then why did you call me?

Worst yet was Zoe from Dreamgirls. She gave the best bed dances of anybody in Minneapolis-St. Paul, hands down. Last time I saw her was in the spring. I wanted to see her around Labor Day so I called ahead, and the guy said Zoe doesn't work anymore. Not at Dreamgirls; she quit the "life." When I went to the club the head man, Zoe's friend, said she's left and plans to never come back. So far, she hasn't.

And finally, there's Ivy at BJ's. She rocked my world every time we got a dance even though they're out in the open. She has a message line announcing her schedule. Well, one day I call and I hear Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On." Oh-oh. So I go into BJ's and someone tells me she quit and moved back up to Northern Minnesota. And I thought we had a connection.

Look, I know all you guys will say that these are strippers, don't get too attached because they don't give a shit about you and their lives are probably fucked up anyway, why do you care? Well, I'm sorry, but I get a little attached, and when I don't see an ATF anymore I have to question again why do I even go to these places.

The litany of girls, by the way, doesn't stop with those three. Niko at Whispers. Honey at the old 418. Tre with the Partytime Agency. Chloe at Choice. Angel and Janessa at the KoD. Dakota at DG's. Tara at Deja Vu. Haven't seen any of them in a long time. This is futile, but if anyone of you know their whereabouts, please let me know. And if you can, tell them I say hi.

Another reason I'm in a depressed mood is that there are big changes ahead of me, profession-wise, in the near future. I don't know if I'll have enough money for me to keep up the output of reviews I've started. I have a trip to Dallas lined up, but after that I have to save my money. Yet, hopefully, I'll be able to go out clubbin' once in a blue moon. And also hopefully, my remaining ATF's will still be around. Because if Claudia at the KoD or Remy at 22 ever leave, I don't know if I can cope.

Brothers, thanks for the companionship this year. Hope you had a Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year. And next time you see her, give your ATF a hug and tell her I say hello.