tuscl

Aging

DougS
Florida
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:50 AM
I've been noticing over the last few years that the older I get, the more "girl crazy" I've become. I attribute it to getting older, and have confirmed such feelings with my buddies, but I'm not so sure... maybe it's a more of a mental problem. I find myself always on the lookout for a hot girl... driving down the road, I'm checking out cars around me for women to make eye contact with (or more). I've also found myself being drawn more to the younger girls... (not YOUNG in the really sick way, but young in the not-quite-so-sick-late-teen way) It doesn't help that due to my son being in HS, and active in sports, I'm almost constantly at the HS or sporting events. Of course, when I'm there, I'm checking out the beavage... Am I sick or what? Any one else experiencing this? Of course it explains why I'm drawn more and more to the early-twenty-somethings for dances and OTC fun. Maybe the question I need to be asking is, "can anyone recommend a good therapist?"

46 comments

  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    Not long ago I got to thinking about the benefits of aging, and was somewhat surprised to find how long a list I could make. I want to share one of them whith you younger guys: I used to wonder what it would be like to be a dirty old man, now I know. It's fun.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    My previous post got me to wondering if there's any cardiovascular benefit to lap dances. I'd say yes if it's a good one. Maybe that's why you see so many old guys in strip clubs, the cardio benefit keeps them living longer. Which further leads me to wonder if I should adopt a new cardio routine. But it might be hard (no pun intended) for me to keep it up (pun intended) for the necessary 30 minutes or so. Maybe I need those little pills after all.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    Being sexually active does have an anti-aging effect on your body chemistry. So if you tell your SO that you're going to the health club when you're actually going to a stip club, maybe you're telling the truth. But I don't think your insurance will cover it.
  • casualguy
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    17 years ago
    I remember reading somewhere that watching boobs has an anti-aging effect. I guess if we look a lot younger than we actually are, someone might figure out what we've been busy watching. :)
  • casualguy
    •
    17 years ago
    hmmm, I wonder if anyone is going to do a study to see if watching pussy has an anti-aging effect as well. I bet it does too.
  • FONDL
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    17 years ago
    BookGuy, I agree with you, I was referring to how MEN are treated in a strip club. I know all about feeling invisible among some people, just try walking through the gangs of teenagers at the mall sometime, they don't even know you're there. But as far as I'm concerned I figure that's a sign of maturity or stupidity, and it's their problem not mine. My friends don't treat me that way and that's all I care about. How people treat you usually tells you a lot more about them than it does about you, and can very very enlightening. Igiveup, I've had the same thing happen to me many times both in and out of clubs. But inside of clubs I think it's partly the lack of lighting. The last time a stripper guessed my age she missed it by more than 20 years, and I knew her well enough that I think she was being fairly honest. I have a fair complexion and most of my hair, so I do look younger. But in a club where they can't see you all that well they have no choice but to judge you by your behavior and I refuse to act my age, whatever that is. You're as young as you feel, and I like to feel young girls.
  • shadowcat
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    17 years ago
    I always get ID'd by the strippers. "No way are you 65". Bones always gets ID'd too. With that purple thong that he wears, they want to make sure that he is old enough to even be in the club.
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    "My experience has been that people are less likely to be judged by their chronological age in strip clubs than in many other places, nobody cares how old you are." I'd have to rephrase that, to state that MEN are less likely to be judged by their chronological age in strip clubs. WOMEN who look older are probably even MORE undesirable in a strip club than in other more "normal" walks of life. As my mom ages, she finds that she grows "invisible," as she puts it. Her opinion on good schooling for the neighborhood children is ignored by the prissy sprightly young mothers, wives of doctors and lawyers. Never mind that my mom spent thirty years as an educational administrator and school teacher, the girlies think they can invent a better wheel than the one that already rolls. And she says her hands became invisible first -- she reached out in an offer to hold something, but the other person wouldn't give it to her, as though she might drop it. Soon her voice, face, body were all invisible. Sounds sad. But as much as I feel for my mom's plight, I'm frankly not interested at all in receiving a lap dance from someone who looks like her. Nor is anyone else on this board, I'd guess.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    Some people are clearly more age-conscious than are others. In general I think our society separates people according to age probably a lot more so than do some other societies in the world. Witness the rapid growth here of 55+ communities. Personally I'd hate to live like that, I think such segmentation is unnatural and unhealthy. My ATF is probably closer to her grandparents than she is to her parents, which is maybe why she always seems very comfortable around much older people. She used to have another older customer of whom she was quite fond, and was very upset when she moved away and he didn't stay in touch with her. I've also found that once you get to know someone fairly well you tend to forget their age. Many years ago I knew a guy at my gym who swam a mile or so every day. He was as agile and interesting as anyone I've ever met. I was shocked one day when he said he was 90 - I never thought of him as being old because he didn't act old. One of the things I've always liked about strip clubs is that, unlike many other places, there are always girls there who go out of their way to make an older guy feel welcome. My experience has been that people are less likely to be judged by their chronological age in strip clubs than in many other places, nobody cares how old you are. I'd never approach a 20-something girl in a regular bar but have no problems doing so in a strip cub. Or being welcomed by one.
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    I'd take a 22-y.o. stepmother ... :) There's an episode of "Friends" in which one of the twenty-something females is dating a guy who is recently divorced. At a party, the guy is derided by the girl's father for having a "little piece on the side" until dad finds out it's his own daughter.
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    I think women are capable of thinking of "older" men as sexy, whereas men are less into "older" women. I think it's merely biological. Note the fact that Sean Connery remained a sex symbol well into his retirement age, while Judi Dench and Helen Mirrim are considered troglodytes after 40 or so. I don't think it's JUST the "material wellbeing" clause in the male-sexiness contract, that makes younger women attracted to older men. I think it goes beyond such Machiavellian scheming on the girls' parts (although such scheming is always a potential factor, regardless of age!). I think it's ingrained in them -- perhaps because of the consciousness of potential for material support many a generation ago, but now it's not about anything conscious at all. For this I am eternally grateful. I am one of those people who has lived his life "too slowly." I am only now (at 41) coming to realize what kind of career I might like, or who I am as a worker and as a participant in our society, or what kinds of girls turn me on, or even the fact that I can develop and learn social skills that will get me "in" with chicks whether or not I have buff abs. If I had been a female and come to these realizations, I would have no option but to be a disgruntled older matron who, at 41, finally figured out what I SHOULD have done at 17 years old. But since I'm male, I can actually capitalize on these realizations! My hope now, is to finally begin to be able to live something similart to the "Mister Big" lifestyle (cf. "Sex and the City") that I've always envied and craved. And it might actually be a possibility! Thank goodness I'm an ageing male!
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    "Crazy as it sounds, I've actually left clubs ... and written down notes about what a particular girl told me ..." I don't think it's crazy at all, I've done the same thing. "... people can often be more apt, not less, to open up about deeply personal stuff to others of a different age or background ..." I agree completely, it's one of the joys of spending time with young strippers. I also think that today's young people in general are more prone to talk to strangers about highly personal stuff, they've grown up with TV shows where people do that all the time so they think it's normal. The thing that has surprised me most about aging is that I don't feel older, partly because I take pretty good care of myself and have remained healthy and active. I'm probably in better shape now than I was 40 years ago. In my mind I'm still about 35. I'm also happier and more at peace than I used to be because I no longer feel compelled to prove anything to anyone, and I think others tend to associate that kind of positive attitude with youth. I know it sounds crazy but I'm absolutely certain that my ATF doesn't think of me as old, probably because I don't either. We go jogging or work out together fairly often and, unlike her BF, I have no trouble keeping up with her in either activity. I think your energy and fitness level have a lot to do with how old you feel and act. And as in so many areas of life, people tend to treat you the way you treat yourself. If you look and act fairly young, people will think of you that way.
  • chandler
    •
    17 years ago
    Like any other change in life, I'm sure a 40-year age difference seems unimaginable until you arrive there year by year. Then it just seems unreal. Make no mistake - to a young stripper, a guy 20-plus years older is OLD. What difference does another 20 years make? Also, people can often be more apt, not less, to open up about deeply personal stuff to others of a different age or background than they would with their peers. It takes the pressure off, because approval doesn't matter as much.
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    I think it would be hard to relate to a fav that was 40 years younger than me. It would also be REALLY hard to keep "the fantasy" alive in my mind. Even though having that fantasy isn't the end-all when clubbing, to me it sure makes it more fun, and exciting. My ATF is now 22 years younger than me, but I don't have any problem relating with her, so maybe if the age difference was doubled, it wouldn't be a problem... I'd like to think so. I also am not having any trouble keeping the fantasy - probably because I'm not convinced that it IS a fantasy (but logic says that it is). Casualguy: Being closer in age, in my experience, doesn't mean that you will experience an "interview like" feeling more frequently, when establishing a rapport with the dancers. It depends on the comfort level the girl is feeling with you, and also on how good of a listener you are. I started clubbing when I was nearly the same age as the dancers - even younger than some. Now, as I mentioned above, there is a pretty large age difference. Throughout the years, the majority of the girls that I've danced with - and ALL of the girls that I've gotten to know well - have divulged a vast amount of very personal information about themselves. Crazy as it sounds, I've actually left clubs and/or OTCs, and written down notes about what a particular girl told me while together, so that I can remember the tidbits and keep straight who said what. It's sometimes amazing how impressed the girls are when you can remember little items that they've shared with you - it shows that you are a good listener and are interested in what they say.
  • casualguy
    •
    17 years ago
    That would be scary to think I could have an ATF 40 years younger than me. That would mean as of now, she wouldn't even be born yet. Being a closer age to many dancers means sometimes at least for me, I feel like I'm getting interviewed for a possible date instead of dance. I've even occasionally had new dancers start telling all about their personal life from the get go. One new dancer told me she was just recently divorced, had 3 kids ages 3, 5, 7 for example and she kept going on and on.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    "I've always been afraid that there will come a day in the future that I'll be getting old enough that I will feel completely out of place in the club, and will look like a total perv." Not to worry, DougS, it won't happen. In fact quite the opposite, one of the attractions of strip clubs for me is that they're just about the only places where attractive young girls don't give a damn how old you are. And a lot of them seem to actually prefer us older guys, probably because we treat them better than younger guys do and we're more easily satisfied. My ATF is nearly 40 years younger than me, but when we're together I don't think either one of us is the least bit aware of it. If it weren't for her I'd still be going to clubs regularly. But one attractive young woman like her is all I need.
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    BG: I think a lot of us here desire the same type of girls. When you said that you and I should never visit the same club at the same time, I thought you were going to mention my "whaling" / "hogging" tendancies. For the time being, everyone is safe here... as long I'm with my ATF, I don't foresee stepping foot in a club.
  • shadowcat
    •
    17 years ago
    I always said that when I got too old for sex, that I was going to build a model rail road. Well this 12 ft by 12 ft Ho guage RR has been sitting here for 2 years. Waiting for me to work on it...
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm afraid DougS and I can never visit the same strip club at the same time. We each seem to prefer the same types of women, and seem to enact the same types of interpersonal relations and age-defying appearance. In fact, I have never seen him and me in the same room ANYWHERE at the same time. :)
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    Fondl: Yes attitude has a lot to do with it, but I just like 'em young... late teens, early twenties. I like the thin, supple girls, with the long, straight hair... seems like they are always the young ones that have those qualities. Actually, I think the perfect age is between 20 and 25. Even though I'm pretty much twice that age, I haven't really had too much problem relating to them. It probably helps that I never divulge my true age, and I THINK I pass for mid- to late-thirties. I've always been afraid that there will come a day in the future that I'll be getting old enough that I will feel completely out of place in the club, and will look like a total perv. Hearing about some of the older guys on this site, it gives me hope that I have at least 15 years left in me...
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    For me it's a question of attitude more than looks. Which is to some extent a function of the type of place - smaller more casual clubs are often friendlier places and seem to have fewer girls with unpleasant or phony attitudes than do the bigger fancier places. Surprisingly my experience has been that I generally enjoy the company of either the very young ones (under 23 or so) and the older ones (35+) more so than the ones in between. Perhaps the young ones haven't yet become jaded, while older ones have learned to be more appreciative. I don't do it consciously but I find that I'm usually least interested in the experienced dancers who appear to be late 20s to 30 or so.
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    Young is a difficult balancing act. I want her body to be lithe, supple, and generally youngER looking (like, for example, nearly all the models on [view link]). And I want her to tend toward sprightly and happy about life. But I also want her to have her head screwed on tight, which often comes with age and experience. I want her head tight enough, that she knows a guy wants DIRECT stimulation, knows that it's pay-for-play and not some kind of fantasy world, and knows what "good customer service" entails. This doesn't require that she be a full-service girl but it does require a certain sense of "fair" exchange of service-for-money. Younger girls don't always "get" that concept, or think they're giving you "service" and good effort merely because they're sitting next to you on a couch.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    I don't consciously look for the youngest girls in a strip club and have had some very fun times with older dancers. But I usually end up with the youngest ones because I avoid the girls with attitudes, which I've found often (but not always) comes with dancing experience. The ones who are most likely to treat me as a real person, which is what I like, always seem to be the least experienced and youngest ones.
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    I'll tell 'ya what, if I'm in a club and a I see a girl that I think is hot and I want to get a dance from, even if she appears to be too young, I'm not going to ask her for her ID before I let her climb on board. I don't think I could get into trouble (ie a statutory charge) if caught with such a girl. If she's dancing there, I think it's an implied ok, that she's legal to give me a dance. It's up to the club she's working at to verify her age. If she's not of age, it's the club that take the fall for that, not me.
  • Darkwolf
    •
    17 years ago
    Well, the legal question is one that could be debated depending on your area. I know that one could get somewhat by with the paying for time rather than services rendered arguement when doing things in the VIP. Of course that means that there is no up-charging or discussing of activities explicitly or implicitly. I look at a VIP in a strip club just like a VIP in any other club. You pay in some way to be able to be there... you are with someone who you have hooked up with (contracted for time allotment or just talked a good game with) and both of you do whatever you feel comfortable doing within the confines of the room. As far as age thing goes... well there is that line that says do I want to get arrested for a misdemeanor charge of public indecency or statutory rape.... I'll stick with keeping my name off a national registry of sex offenders because I didn't choose to think with the right head.
  • casualguy
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm older than Darkwolf. It's nice to know I'm not the youngest one on here. I've noticed some people just slightly older than me look 30 years older than me. I seem to always have people guess my age at 8 to 15 years younger than actual. I'm probably thinking it seems nice when I don't have to pull out my ID for proof of age. Maybe the older guys have to do that too all the time but I don't know.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    As far as strip clubs go, I think the biggest change in me over the years is that I enjoy sitting and talking with an attractive young lady much more than I used to, and I'm less interested in the nudity and private dances unless I really like the girl. Intimacy with a girl I hardly know just doesn't interest me much anymore, I guess the novelty has worn off.
  • Darkwolf
    •
    17 years ago
    Hell I am not far into my 30's but I have always been attracted to younger women - of course I add to that the very short and petite as well. Not sure why that is, but it has become more and more as of late. I still am completely attracted to the female form when it is in good shape - whether it be 18 or 40. Beauty is just that... the only constant is that they have to be legal for me to pursue.
  • shadowcat
    •
    17 years ago
    Come on guys. Don't try to bafflle me with bull shit. We like 18 yo's because they are young and beautiful. Pink nipples and no streatch marks...Y
  • Yoda
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm gladly tip the cute teenage girls who towel off my truck at the car wash (Brazilian, of course) but when it comes to dancers -and escorts-my preferences are for ladies a little older. Late twenties and up does it for me.
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    "... they appeal to my sense of nostalgia for my lost youth ..." I actually think that's the main reason why us older guys admire young women, in fact I've always thought that was the main attraction of strip clubs for older guys. But I also think a lot of young women are more attractive today than they were in my day, or maybe I just get to see a lot more of them because of the way they dress (or lack thereof.) Another story that I think illustrates how different things are today. When I was in high school a popular teacher was asked to resign because he was having sex with a student. Nothing ever appeared in the local paper about it - such stories were considered unseemly and unfit for a family newspaper. Today such stories are front page news. I don't know which approach is better but they sure are different.
  • chitownlawyer
    •
    17 years ago
    As I settle into my mid 40s, I can think of another reason why I find younger girls attractive...they appeal to my sense of nostalgia for my lost youth by reminding of girls I knew when I was young. Once I saw a checkout girl in the supermarket who looked like one of my high school girlfriends. I thought to myself whether it actually could have been my high school girlfriend, then it occurred to me...you dope, she's 30 years older than that....just like you are. Frequently I'll see a dancer and think how much she looks like a girl I knew in high school, college or law school.
  • Book Guy
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm a horny old duck, too. I sometimes am quite lonely because of it. For example, today I walked in the "March against Crime" thing here in New Orleans. Around me were lots of attractive, younger women -- college kids have mid-day off, more likely, than do secretaries. I saw what I couldn't touch. Makes me feel desperate, lonely, lame. I see hippie dudes with weird dredlocks and pink eyebrows, and the mere sight of their girlfriends gives me a boner. I mentally compare girls I've fucked as girlfriends, people I've kissed and held hands with, to the girls I see on the streets doing the same with other dudes, and the comparison is never flattering to my real experiences. :(
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    Fondl: Never heard of girls basketball rules like that. What's girls basketball with out being able to watch them bounce .. err dribble down the court? My son is on the HS swim team, and it's quite entertaining when I pick him up... there's always a girls basketball practice or game going on, cheerleaders, students, plus the girls swim team in their suits, etc. It's difficult to keep an eye on all the sights without looking like the biggest perv around (hopefully I'm discreet enough that it's not TOO obvious). Can you say "eye strain"?
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    DougS, there are good reasons why you think about sex and find young girls more attractive than you used to. I think we all do for at least the following reasons. Sex is everywhere today, much more so than in the past. You can't pick up a magazine or newspaper or watch TV or a movie without being bombarded with sex today. Our media is obsessed with sex. So how can anyone not think about sex much of the time? It wasn't like that when we were young. And there are at least 4 reasons that I can think of why we find teenaged girls more attractive then we used to: (1) young girls today mature physically at an earlier age than they used to; (2) they are much more sexually aware than they used to be, and have been taught almost since birth how to act sexy and have been encouraged to do so byour media; (3) they dress much more provacatively than they used to (which maybe explains why so many girls are willing to be strippers - they're used to walking around half naked in public); and (4) a lot of young girls play competitive sports today which means there are a lot of really fit young girls out there. A funny story about that last point - when I was in high school we had a girls' basketball team but the rules were different than for the boys. There were six girls on a team, 3 on offense and 3 on defense, and nobody was allowed to cross the midcourt line. That was because running was considered to be inappropriate for young girls. Can you imagine that today?
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    I should add here, especially in light of my off-track comment earlier, that when I said I might be tempted to give in to the urges if I knew I wouldn't be caught... even if that were the case, the chances that one of those girls would actually have an interest in me is awfully slim, and since she would have to be a willing participant... well, I have a better chance of Bill Gates giving me all of his money, just 'cause I'm a nice guy...
  • shadowcat
    •
    17 years ago
    Art Linkletter has always been thought of as a "G" rated entertainer but he did a stag show for us military men in Japan back in 64 or 65 that was hardly suitable for children. Talk about raunchy. Even women were not admitted that night.
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    Fondl: I know how you felt coaching that girl... I would never act on those urges - guys almost always get caught doing that; it's in the news every day. Plus, I wouldn't risk the embarassment to me and my family. (of course, if I knew I wasn't going to be caught... [wink]) Back when I was that age, girls sure didn't look like they do now. They all look and act older than what they are...
  • DougS
    •
    17 years ago
    please excuse this quick, off-topic ramble... The word "therapist" has been used several times in this thread... everytime I see that word, it reminds me of a hilarious Benny Hill skit. He's painting a sign on the outside of an office... looking at a paper that has a doctor's name on it, then painting the name on the sign. After the name, there's a comma, then a title. On the paper it says ", Therapist", however he puts too big of a space between two of the letters and it comes out as ", The rapist".
  • nj_pete
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm 50 Doug, and agree with your thoughts, but its normal! Whats that expression, I wonlt stop looking till I'm dead? Something like that, enjoy it!
  • shadowcat
    •
    17 years ago
    I am going to be 65 on Saturday. Even my ex wife says that I look 15-20 years younger. Everybody says that you are only as old as you act. I am sitting here discarding christmas cards. 2 of them have pictures of young couples apparently in love. I know them and I know that it is real. I am jealous. I wish that I could be young and in love again. But I am what I am. I really feel for Bones. 60 years old and missing his deceased wife. I couldn't wait to divorce mine. Strip clubs and strippers provide a temporlity relief. Perhaps a mutual understanding. She provides what I need and she gets what she needed. Money. Some times these situations get out of control. You get too close to the flame and you get burned. It has happended to me twice. Yet, I will continue to follow my path of stuipidy because I still love them. The kinder and more gentel, shadowcat....
  • DailyGrind
    •
    17 years ago
    [re: Am I sick or what?] Only if you *stop* thinking like this. But look who (collectively) you're asking. The Christian Mothers of Teen Daughters forum down the hall, for example, might not show quite the same empathy. BTW, hot dancers *are* my best therapists. DG
  • FONDL
    •
    17 years ago
    I'm the oldest guy here and I've never stopped admiring attractive young girls. If all you do is fantacize, you're normal. If you start thinking about acting out those fantasies, get help. The fantasy is always better than the reality. Many years ago I used to coach youth sports, and one year I found myself coaching a girl's team. One of the girls on this team was incredibly hot, one of the best looking girls I've ever laid eyes on, and incredibly sexy in her innocence. She was 13. I never coached a girls team again. Looking and thinking is normal, acting on those thoughts isn't.
  • chandler
    •
    17 years ago
    Yeah, maybe the question should be why were you ever not girl crazy?
  • alabamascott
    •
    17 years ago
    That's funny! But I think it's normal dude. I've been that way all my life.
  • shadowcat
    •
    17 years ago
    casualguy: I'm 65 today but I always get ID'd at the Kroger grocery where I shop. Seems pretty stupid to me. The licquor stores around town don't. Last year I even got ID'd for buying a pack of cigarettes at a gas station in Agusta GA. No common sense. When I was 21 and my best friend turned 21, His father took us both to LAS to celebrate. My friend was only 5'4" and barely looked 16. We never got ID'd for drinks or entrance. But when my friend scored a major payoff on the slot machines. You know that he got ID'd. People on here are always stressing that they make sure their dancers are at least 18. Is this a legal or moral issue? What some dancers do is by law illegal but that doesn't seem to stop us. So why should under 18 stop us? I have no conception of age When it comes to beautiful women. I have seen 14YO's that looked 25 and 27YO's that looked 16. I'm not going to check ID's. Am I more guilty getting a HJ from a 16 yo than an 18yo? When I was 18, me and 10 or 12 other teens were on a dove hunting trip in the Southern California desert. We all had shot guns and license's to hunt be none of us were legallly old enough to buy booze (21) in CA. It was 100+ degrees outside and I got stuck with making a beer run. I went to a convience store out in the middle of know where, that actually doubled as a post office. I put 3 cases of beer up on the counter. She asked to see my ID. I showed her my drivers license that clearly showed that I was only 18. She handed it back and said " Sorry I has to ask" giving me head motions to the postal clerk on duty. Whats moral vs illegal is sometimes had to define...
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