Family friend came into my club tonight.

avatar for Eve
Eve
Where there's a hole, there's a way. [HIATUS]
And I still don't know who the hell the guy is. I imagine he either goes to the same church my folks go to, or plays music/works with my gramps.

I'm talking to the manager casually, but I can see him staring and grinning at me from a mile away. Eventually, I approach, because I take this as potential interest. Introducing myself, he has no complaints about letting me sit with him. Greetings and initial topic start off casual and pretty normal before he begins asking me a series of VERY personal questions, because I appear 'very familiar' to him. And I mean, very personal. This guy was definitely on to me.

"Did you go to school in the (county) area?"
"Were your grandparents (religious affiliation)??"
"IS YOUR MOM'S NAME (name)?!?"

A few more questions followed, and he asked this as casually as casual can be, almost as if he didn't really care if I was who he suspected I was. What made it worse was that the club was kind of quiet. The music was loud and the room was full of people, but NO ONE was talking. People within a couple feet distance could probably hear what he was saying. I pretty much fibbed my entire way through his interrogation, and he took my word for it - or at least he acted like he did. We had a normal conversation after that, and just to humor myself, I offered him a dance before he had to leave. He declined and said "No way. You're way too beautiful. I don't think I could handle even one song."

Yep. That's totally the reason. I don't even know if I should be worried about this guy or not. It didn't even cross my mind to just cut and run to the dressing room like most of the girls do when they spot someone they personally know in the bar (but they hide before the people can see them and figure out who they are.), cause that would be an instant giveaway, but I have a slight hunch he could see through my ruse regardless.

Maybe this has been asked here before, but it does raise the question in my head. Have any of you mongers spotted an acquaintance/friend/relative/etc dancing at your local clubs? And if you have, would you find it socially acceptable to just blurt out a million life story questions to her for all within radius to hear to confirm who they are?

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avatar for jackslash
jackslash
7 years ago
This guy was way out of line. I think your best bet is to ignore him if he comes back. I don't think he will out you because he would be admitting he was in a strip club himself.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
7 years ago
Eve,what ever you do, never ever volunteer information.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
This guy sounds creepy I’d avoid any contact with him.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
7 years ago
Send him to the head transplant doctor
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
7 years ago
No. If I saw a girl I knew from the outside dancing, I would avoid her as much as I could.

And I certainly wouldn’t have asked all those questions. That’s very strange behavior and I’d be very cautious if he ever comes in again if I was you.
avatar for hassenpfeffer65
hassenpfeffer65
7 years ago
I agree that he sounds like a real douchebag. There are so many other ways he could have handled the situation that would have been non threatening.
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
He should have been direct, if he thinks he knows you, and wanted to find out. I wouldn’t answer any creepy searching questions. Follow your gut on these things.
avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
7 years ago
I suspect the was just clueless and harmless, but that was seriously non-brilliant behavior.

If he comes back you should tell him that you went to school in a Pakistani madrassa but your grandparents were actually Satanists. You have returned to America because you want to learn human sacrifice. Then ask him if you can use him for practice!

I bet you'll get an ace reaction! ;)
avatar for beekers
beekers
7 years ago
His intentions could have been totally harmless and innocent, but you have no way of knowing that. Politely break off the conversation and move on.
avatar for s275ironman
s275ironman
7 years ago
That guy does sound creepy, and it was out of line for him to ask you those questions. He could've handled the situation a lot better. He should have pretended he didn't recognize you at all. Even though a person may recognize another person as someone they may know, it does not always mean that the other person will also recognize them.

As others have already said, just avoid this guy if he does return to your club. Hopefully he will get the hint and leave you alone. If he stops in regularly and ignoring him doesn't work, I would tell club management.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
7 years ago
Who cares what anyone else thinks, since it's totally subjective do what you feel is best in that moment and move on. You'd be right no matter what approach taken outside of breaking the law.
avatar for sp
sp
7 years ago
I'm pretty sure he knew exactly who you were and he was just testing you to see how much you would tell him. He is not going to say anything about you outside of the club as he wouldn't want you coming up to him and saying "Hi" at the local grocery store. he will probably come in to see you just to continue his "game". And yes, my female friend of 30 years has a daughter that dances/danced at my local club. I avoided the club for awhile because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable that I was there but then my work friend spoke with her about it and she finally said it wouldn't bother her if I came in and if I didn't say anything to her mom. Once I did, it ended up being a fun game. Either sitting at the stage with a huge tip in front of me and she would laugh, point and say "get out of here" until she saw how much cash was there and come over to see me. We would "fight" about doing dances together(we never did) and then play with the bartender and customers at the bar. She would get all of their attention and say "do you find it odd that this guy used to change my diapers?" or " yeah we have known each other forever, I used to babysit his kids." I still laugh just thinking about it. One bartender went nuts, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the other end of the bar. LOL!
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
the one time i saw someone i knew in a club she was actually on stage and had nowhere to run, however she was cool with me and so we went off to a private area to talk. I did not pester her with a million personal questions, and no one cared about our conversation except for this one psychotic dancer who got extremely offended that I wouldn't get any dancers from her because I preferred to spend my time with my cute red-headed lil spinner friend - but that's another story

i will throw this out for what it's worth, i once was friends with a certain dancer, our friendship went "bad" because i was being a douchebag by doing quesionable things like genuinely caring about her and warning her against hard drugs, etc, again another story, but the thing is, every time i went into the club and she was there, she would run to the dressing room and then send her buxom blonde friend out to greet me in the hopes of rushing me off to VIP, draining my wallet, and then rushing me out of the club. i never bit, but if that guy ever returns you might want to ask a friend to run similar interference for you
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
In this day of technology why wold you assume he "knew" you, when all the information could be mined on the internet just by knowing your real name, which he could have gotten from others at the club?
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
7 years ago
I suggest you have him killed, before he fucks up you life.
avatar for eyeofodin
eyeofodin
7 years ago
"Maybe this has been asked here before, but it does raise the question in my head. Have any of you mongers spotted an acquaintance/friend/relative/etc dancing at your local clubs? "

Friend's daughter (3)-crazy horse, brass ass, and flight club
Frat brother's wife - juicy lucy's
High school friend (2)- christies, deja vu Indiana
University friend (4)- PT memphis, christies, brass ass, some local club in vegas
GF's fellow worker (GF with me - both elementary school teacher) some dump in Newport KY
Friend's sister in law - Columbus gold
Friend's cousin - Hustler
My doctor's nurse - Cheerleaders
Sister's neighbor - Alcatraz

There maybe more but that's all that stick out.

It;s creepy to bring up personal questions in a SC within ear shot of others.

One time was talking with one of the University friend and her uncle came in and was acting creepy like your family friend - her family knows what she did for a living so she told him to stop being a jackass ( well not that politely). I always said hi to the ones I knew from outside the SCs and never made a big deal out of seeing them or them seeing me.

Like BJ99 said if he cannot be direct avoid answering/contact with him.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
What BJ99 said.
avatar for Eve
Eve
7 years ago
Like majority of you had said, and just as I thought, it is super fucking weird and just rude to play a guessing game like that with me. I've talked to plenty of customers in the past on this particular topic that they were leave the club ASAP if they saw someone they knew personally outside the bar, or at least stay away from them to avoid an awkward encounter.

I had no telling what was going through this guy's mind when he first saw me though. He seemed pretty humored by my company. But I'll spare him that if he happens to come in again.
avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL
7 years ago
I have run into a daughter of people I know twice. Discussed both here on tuscl.

The first girl, I pretended not to know her and got serious shit on this board for taking her to VIP without identifying myself. Ironically, she knew who I was and did not ID herself out of fear she would lose the VIP $$!

The second girl looked just like her mother. I asked if the person I knew was her mother. When she said yes I introduced myself.

Saw both of them OTC multiple times.
avatar for rockie
rockie
7 years ago
In general people suck, but when he suggests that you dance - he opens the door to he clubs. That might not be something he wants his social circle to ponder!

avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL
7 years ago
@OP, It sounds like he knew exactly who you were and it was almost like he was trying to torture you. Just mental "I know you know I know who you are, but I'm not going to say I know who you are. I'm just going to keep saying stuff to reinforce the fact that I know who you are."

For me, an odd effect of seeing someone is I will avoid a customer I recognize to the point of leaving the club. I think it is because I want to keep my clubbing life separate from the real world life. I don't need some guy telling everybody he saw me coming out of VIP at a strip club.

But if I see a dancer I recognize, well we are both in the same situation as far as she probably does not want the real world side of her life to know and neither do I. I trust a dancer I know to be discreet ten times more than I trust another guy.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
this situation i have yet to experience. butt if it happens and i am attracted to her... i'm going full throttle. after all... if she sees me she allready knows i love pretty women...
avatar for joc13
joc13
7 years ago
@gold dude, you are the king of winners when it comes to running into a dancer you know in the club. Even if she has become a full-time escort and put you on the "when I need that last $200 in a hurry list". ;-)

I agree with you though. I trust a dancer not to out me more than I trust a guy. Especially if the guy is a mouthy drunk, and would likely keep it in til he's drunk at a neighborhood or office party.
avatar for Daddillac
Daddillac
7 years ago
I have seen girls from high school in the club years ago.... I just went up and talked to them. I also told them I would not mention I saw them if they would not mention they saw me.... worked out fine and ended up fucking one of them in the VIP.

I was in a regular bar shooting pool when my younger very religious cousin showed up on stage for a wet t shirt contest. I again approached her directly and have never mentioned it to others
avatar for VeryBigDawg
VeryBigDawg
7 years ago
Eeeks!!! .......... Time to get your arse to an Atlanta club.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
Yeah, the dude has no tact or enough intelligence - he either should have been direct as BJ99 mentioned, or not say anything at all.

I have never ran into a dancer I had previously known outside the club and only recall running into a former male college classmate from 15+ years prior
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
When it happened to me, the dancer came over, addressed me by name and was super nice. I saw her several times in the club to the point of being a regular - she had a great presence. She got a different job within a few months, though.

Years before, I had seen a girl from my social circle on a cam site and got a private show with her. I told her at the end of the show who I was, and she freaked out a little bit at being unexpectedly recognized, but we kept doing private cam shows and met up for coffee at one point. She said the show wasn't all that big of a deal to her since she had pulled me into "the room" at a party once where she had made herself the main attraction.

Bringing up personal/family stuff sounds pretty weird to me, too. A dancer told me a story once about a guy who was a friend of her grandparents and still expected to do her after using her real name to ask if it was her once they were in the VIP (she hadn't recognized him before). As she told it, he blew it using that approach.
avatar for DisRuptive1
DisRuptive1
7 years ago
I'd pretend to be someone else. It's dark in strip clubs and with makeup on you likely look a whole lot different than if he saw you in person in the light. I'd ignore him too if he's not going to spend money on you.
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