Best ways to butter up a stripper?

recently a favorite dancer of mine was complaning about how her feet hurt from wearing those 6 inch heels. I said that I sympathized with her and wish the club management would let the dancers wear tennis shoes. They would look more like the girl next door. She replied "I don't want to look like the girl next door". So I just live with my Sandra Bullock lood alike and her natural 36C's. Tough...

Try offering FIVE DOLLARS for a lap dance

Well, I happen to enjoy looking at a stripper's naked body. It is a big deal for me, so maybe they take it differently. I think they are flattered when I give them admiring looks from the neck down as well as into their eyes.

Telling a stripper she looks like a certain star can be touchy. You can't always be sure she will take it as a compliment. Tabloids turn yesterday's sex symbol into today's laughing stock. Two or three years ago, I wouldn't hesitate to tell a girl she looked like Britney Spears. Not any longer.

I'm constantly thinking about similarities, and sometimes I blurt them out against my better judgement. I once told a fave she reminded me of Tippi Hedren, blonde startlet of Hitchcock films of the 1960s. Not that I expected her to know anything about what I was saying. She asked me what movies she was in, and I mentioned 'The Birds' (where crows rip Tippi's designer clothes to shreds). The next time I saw her, she said she had rented 'The Birds'. Enjoyed the movie, but thought I was out of my mind to say she looked like her.

Maybeenuf4u: I do the eye contact thing all the time - looking into her eyes, whiile she's showing and playing with her tits, or doing the "panties rub", etc. What the heck, I've seen a LOT of girls rubbing themselves through their panties, and not being a breastman, breasts aren't that big of a deal to look at (and I can caress them just by feel, 'cause I know where they are [wink]).... I'd much rather look into her sexy eyes and watch HER get turned on (or pretend to, as the case may be). Actually, during dances (and sex) eyes are extremely sexy and also can communicate a lot. Simply by looking into her eyes, you can tell if she likes something that you do, or REALLY likes something...

I love Helen Hunt, she is so hot in twister... Ok I'm done sorry..LOL

I don't think Ive seen this one. I try to think of a movie star they look like, if possible. Then tell them. They do seem to like that, and its def original.

Otherwise, try this. Stare into her eyes while shes showing you her cookie. It freaks some out, but then tell them they have beautiful eyes. Both seem to work pretty well.

magicrat and I both agree that one of my favorite dancers looks like Sandra Bullock from the neck up. Below that, my other favorite dancers wins. My former ATF looks like Helen Hunt.I hve been told that I look like Alan Alda of "Mash fame"

I don't see it as wicked, I would just like to think that someone is telling me what honestly turns them on about me, and or what it is that caught thier eye..
All dancers love to hear compliments and such, I just like the truth, even if I am not what ya want (just be nice if I am not..LOL)

I asked about buttering up in the sense of "charm someone with flattery". It could have a sinister motive, but I see no reason it has to. T'would be a mighty brutal life, IMO, if saying something nice and being treated nice in return was always an act of corruption and wickedness.

Evilcyn: I can't speak for every guy, but I don't look at giving dancers compliments as "buttering them up" - that's got kind of a negative connotation, as if we are complimenting them to get something.

I also don't think that was the mindset when this topic was posted. I DO tell the dancers what I like about them, not just what I think they want to hear.

I hadn't thought of your angle before, though, that you can "cater" to our likes and dislikes better, knowing what first attracted us to you. That makes a lot of sense. And probably means that I should be even more complimentary than I am.

For instance, I love the long hair, and maybe by pointing that out to a dancer, she could do things like burrying my face with her hair, etc.

I might have to try and get to the Cleveland area sometime... small and flexible sounds inviting...

If you have other dancer friends, please encourage them to post on her. It really is refreshing and eye opening to hear the dancer's side of things.

In fact, a few years, I don't know if anyone else here remembers it, but there used to be a link on TUSCL to a dancer that would answer questions from us guys on here. It was something that I found really interesting, but for some reason it stopped. I would love to see something like that again.

Every dancer is going to want to hear different things..
I don't want to be buttered up though..
If there is something you truely like about one, just tell her..
Regardless of what it is..
Do I like to hear I have a nice ass, hell yea, nice eyes, smile ect..

Yes we like to hear it all at one time or another...Some guys like how little and flexable I am.
For some its the seductiveness I dance with...
One guy might legs, and the next 10 like something else..
Just concentrate on what caught you eye, or got your attention in the first place..It also gives us an idea of what your tastes are, and can cater to you better..

Keelmm: Until about 2 years ago, all three worked at the world famous Hip Hugger in Kokomo, IN. I believe there is just one still working there now. If the truth be known... only one of the three appealed to me, and that one happened to be my prev ATF. The other two, just weren't my type.

Dougs Where do those three stripper sisters live/work. On-going fantasy regarding sisters...

"Strippers love to be told they look innocent." If I'm spending time and money on her, it's almost certainly true. If they don't have that innocent girl-next-door look I'm rarely going to be interested. So I tell them. And as Chandler says, they often tell you stories to prove otherwise.

Strippers love to be told they look innocent. There has to be a kernel of truth in it, and I do tend to favor the type, but really, how innocent can a half naked girl look while she's grinding on my dick? I think they like to believe that their innocent side remains intact to all appearances even as they behave otherwise. The great thing about telling them this is how often it leads to some very funny and revealing talk about the depraved freak behind her innocent exterior. Talk that leads to action.

More likely you show her your purple thong and she laughes her ass off silly...

I guess it can get easy to take a dancer for granted even though she's young and pretty and has a big smile on her face when she sees you and says "hi sexy!" as you go to the stage to tip her. I guess she has buttered me up already and my smile seems to be my return butter up effect. Not counting possible tips and dances.

Interesting thread here... I thought I'd throw my two cents in. I believe the key to "buttering up a stripper" is no different than buttering up any woman. True, strippers usually do have self-esteem problems and also come from broken homes and all the other things mentioned above. Also, someone mentioned making a stripper laugh butters her up. The problem I think, is maybe you're trying too hard. The key to strippers (and women) is to make them feel comfortable and safe. Indeed strippers remove their cloths for a living, but I know that each and every one of those women are scared to death, even though they don't show it.

Overall - Treat a stripper like you would treat any other woman you would take out on a first date. Be respectful, compliment her and relax. If she's smiling, maybe it's not because you're telling funny jokes, maybe it's because she's comfortable spending time with you... (and quite possibly she likes you, which leads to great mileage.)

But, that's just my observations...

Bah! Crudeness can be humorous, too. Sure, lots of idiots turn off strippers by acting like a strip club gives them license to be obnoxious Howard Stern wannabes. But that doesn't mean I have to always tiptoe around like I'm in a convent. It is a strip club afterall. To try to hold my tongue when it's obvious to both of us what I'm thinking doesn't break the ice for me.

I agree it's OK to make comments to girls about how sexy they look, especially after you've gotten to know them a little or if they bring it up first. But I think it's usually best to do it in a humorous way and not be at all crude about it. My ATF used to talk about her small boobs fairly regularly and we've had some very interesting discussions on the topic. But I've learned (the hard way) to wait for her to raise such subjects first - she has to be in the right mood.

I've found that sooner or later most girls in a club will eventually raise the subject of their body (they all seem to have something that they're not happy about), so I wait for them to bring it up. Which can often lead to more intimacy than might otherwise be the case.

It's ok to say sexual things to strippers especially when they start it. However you may want to be careful about this. Sometimes a dancer will say sexual things because she has an interest in you and if you start kidding around she may think you are serious. Some dancers aren't at all interested in talking about sexual things. Others seem like they would love to jump your bones if you were alone with them for a single second. I don't know, maybe the wild and crazy girls are attracted to me. Sometimes I wonder what can make a girl or dancer who seems calm and rational one moment suddenly seem so sexually hungry and aggressive like someone flipped a switch.

Compliments about their body must be one of those things that's all in the way you say it. I'm always reading that whatever you do, you should never say anything remotely sexual to a stripper, because they get that all the time. What I think they get weary of must be the clumsy, humorless way it's usually said. By the same token, strippers can get creeped out by guys who think they'll get farther by pretending to be above the obvious even as they drool over them. I don't see a problem with being candid about my sexual interest in a woman who is trying to appeal to it.

One of the best ways to prove you're talking to someone whom you consider a "real person" when in the stripper context, I've found, is to talk about her ongoing education. You have to be careful about this, because you may find something that she is insecure about -- not having finished high school, etc., she may not want to blurt out what she wants to study for. But if a customer suggests, "Hey, you're smart enough for that! I'm sure you'd be a good ..." fill in the blank with nurse, lawyer, whatever her dreams seem likely to be, she'll realize you VALUE her capacity to contribute. Most strippers like that a lot.

In fact, most GIRLS like that a lot.

At least, that's the way it looks, from my vantage point of having watched a lot of girls like it from me, and like it from the abusive biker dude who said the same things and then they went home with him. I got close enough to watch, though. Great vantage point. :) ... eh ... :(

Fondl: EXACTLY!

One thing that I've discovered (or knew and have had proven to be correct many times over), 90% of the dancers have a self-esteem problem, and thrive on attention and compiments, and someone that can show interest in THEM, definitely is appreciated.

It's sad, but most dancers have had a hard life and a vast majority come from broken, dysfunctional homes. Additionally, a large portion have been victims of molestation and/or rape. The last item is probably why those dancers that purposely take advantage of and mislead men can do so, without having any remorse. It's also why a pretty large group of them are bi or are lesbians - because they can't trust and can't relate to men any more.

Sorry to get a tad off subject. I've mentioned one particular dancer that has two dancing sisters... three dancers in one family. It's textbook; their step-father molested them when they were young.

Anyhow, I those attention-starved, esteem-challenged dancers respond very well to compliments, and interest in them, and thus the buttering up usually pays great dividends.

I do three things: first I'm very polite; second I try to compliment them in some different and non-sexual way such as remarking on how much I like their hair style or their smile; and third I show interest in them as a person by listening to what they say and asking appropriate questions to keep them talking, especially about themselves. In other words I treat them the same way I would treat any woman anywhere who interests me. I never treat them as a stripper unless they do something to annoy me, I treat them as a real person who just happens to be working as a dancer to earn a living, which is how most of them view themselves.

Chandler: it's always a subtle balancing act, with women. Every bit of advice that guys could give can be taken wrong, to such an extent that it actually harms rather than enhances your chances. "Make her laugh" and I turn it into making myself a hysterical moron a la Jerry Lewis. "Compliment her" and I turn myself into the leering lecher who can only ogle her breasts. "Be stable and financially secure" and I turn myself into a boring accountant. "Be exciting" and I turn myself into the abusive dude they think is trying to prove too much. "Be yourself" and I go and make the mistake of acting like ME ...

Apply butter and spread evenly. If she's hot, it should melt and then you can spread it around with your hands. Then tell her you would just love to eat her because she smells so good. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt this serious discussion. Maybe I drank one too many.

Book Guy: When girls say they want "a guy with a sense of humor", they don't necessarily mean a comedian. It's more about not taking everything too seriously, especially yourself. As for complimenting a stripper, I think just listening and appreciating her sense of humor counts for something.

Make them laugh, make them feel comfortable. Don't ask too many questions. As far as compliments I've found that the girls I tend to like really enjoy it when you compliment their eyes or their smile. Boob and ass compliments get old quickly with women who have a functioning brain. Of course, if that's not a requirement "Nice Ass Baby" will often work....

Make 'em laugh and make 'em breakfast.

Funny thing is, I'm a very humorous guy, everyone I know laughs along with me. But I still don't "get the girls." They laugh with me and go home with some taller, better-looking dude. Or their drug dealer, if you're talking about strippers ...

jimmyblong: You have found the secrete. I discovered it many years ago. Make them laugh. And they will love you.

Making them laugh. Every playmate centerfold turn on I've ever read said 'guys with a sense of humor" If you can get a dancer or any woman laughing you're on your way to removing their panties. Be yourself and dont force things or you'll look like a dork. remeber that they're people too and want to have fun while their working whenever possible.

I've found that dancers (and yes, this works on "regular girls", too) respond best to "off the wall" compliments. If she's drop-dead gorgeous, when you tell her that she's pretty, it doesn't really mean much because she hears it all the time, AND she knows it, anyhow.

Also, I've found that tell her she has great tits and/or a nice ass doesn't go very far either, 'cause then you start sounding like a pervert - of course we ARE perverts or we wouldn't be at the club in the first place.

Also, if you heap compliments on them, you start sounding like a loser that's trying to "butter her up". Plus, they will know that they've got you and may not have to try hard to keep you.

Sooo... usually, I since it's one of the first things I notice about a girl anyhow, I'll tell her that she has beautiful hair. I try to keep my compliments to a minimum, but after establishing a rapport with a girl ... after spending a lot of time with her, THEN I will probably start complimenting her more. Also, I will have noticed a lot more of her charms that deserve to be complimented on.

Vodka shooters and $100 bills.


*prefers to be the one being buttered*
DG

This is a somewhat long-term strategy, but what has worked for me is remembering things she has mentioned about herself, and bringing them up...kids, pets, etc.

For myself, when a dancer I wish to be with approaches me or I approach one myself, I often used the "I love the exotic look, and you are beautiful." Or refer to their accent as exotic. Also at times, I do not even refer to their looks, but how they smell. Might seem nuts, but I just get close to their hair and say, "My you smell wonderful.” or something to that effect.