Big Spender or Cautious?

I don't cultivate the image of a big spender. I DO spend on the girls that I like and they know it.

...and I question whether it preserves any image of you as a big spender.

Just joking about the unstable cocktail of stripper+ATM+your card.

Heh. :) I never found it a problem ... it demonstrates me as "desirous" of her, without actually spending any money. If that's a pair of agendas you wish to follow, then it's a decent tactic. I suppose you're hinting, Chandler, that you might get tempted too much, and would actually withdraw cash you hadn't intended to spend? That's not really a problem for me -- haven't found myself tempted thusly ever.

"you can actually walk over with her to the ATM"

Never a good idea.

Another trick to not spending too much, is to pretend the ATM "doesn't work with my card." So if a girl says "You can just get more!" (whee! like it grows on trees!) or "We have an ATM" you can either explain to her it doesn't work with your card, or you can actually walk over with her to the ATM, punch in an incorrect PIN, and then DEMONSTRATE that your card isn't working. Either way, you end up not "having to" spend any more than you would choose. It's just a good little ruse to use sometimes, keeps the social wheels greased so you don't have to be as direct with your rejection.

We've got it rough in Chicago with the best clubs charging either 3 for $55 or 2 for $60. It makes managing your cash so very important. I usually only bring into the club what I can afford to spend. That way it is predetermined how much the evening will cost. I wont use the club ATM's cause they're way too expensive and leaving the club does in fact clear my head and let reality set back in. I do use the different bills in different pocket technique so as not to accidently tip a 5 or 10 when I meant to tip a 1. Spending money is our role in this business so I dont feel bad about supporting the industry.

I've seen all kinds of ploys to seperate me from my cash and I'm pretty jaded to all the lines. My latest favorite is "My shift is almost over would you like a dance before I go" and then seeing them in the club hours later still hustling. In E. St. Louis I saw a guy flipping singles crazily onto the stage trying to encourage other guys sitting there to do the same. Later it turns out the guy was the dancer's boyfriend...talk about recycling...

I thought a couple of times if only the manager of one club knew how much money I have spent in a different club on lap dances while I haven't bought a single lap dance in his club because the prices are set too high in my opinion even on their two for one special. Unfortunately a bunch of dancers found out when they saw me at the other club. I managed to give a reasonable explanation why I wasn't getting any dances from them.

I think dancers would have to charge me only $5 or less per lap dance if I got lap dances from everyone who asked. One nude club I occasionally visit charges two for $40 and I never bought one of those. Used to in their old club all the time at 2 for $30. Yes you can say I'm stubborn but so is the club management. status quo for the last few years.

I'm gonna start rifling through the contents of cars in the parking lots at clubs where you dudes are partying ...

Bones, I actually used a similar strategy for a while, keeping extra cash in my car. What I do now works fine. I carry about $100-200, depending on the club, in my front pockets with extra hundreds tucked away in a back pocket with my ID. Breaking any of the hundreds warns me. But mostly, the skepticism I've acquired over the years keeps me in check.

Book Guy, I used to try to manage my spending by limiting what I carry, but it didn't work for me. I always found a way to get more cash when I wanted it badly enough. Or, I would go through $100 too easily at a mediocre club and feel bad afterwards about how little I got for it. Now, I always carry way more than I could ever go through. Changing my attitude about spending has made the difference. But all that is a slightly different issue than the image you want dancers to have of your spending.

The time to consider your spending, is when you re-fill your wallet. Before or during a clubbing trip, I feel the best form of money management is to know how much you brought with you, and be willing to spend it all if it's worth it. And then, to know how much you're willing to withdraw at an ATM. It makes much more sense to work it this way, than to try to "limit" your expenditures on the fly, by saying to yourself "OK, I have $50 to spend on strippers" even though your wallet contains $225. If you only want to spend $50, leave the remainder at home. The fist-full of cash IS your stack.

I enjoy my time in the club better if I'm not always thinking about how much I'm spending. For me, that means being a little bit cautious, so that I know I'm not being too foolish. I don't think being careless about spending means having more fun or getting better treatment from dancers.

I believe in being generous enough to be considered a good customer but sufficiently cautious not to be considered an idiot or an easy mark. Clubbing is an expensive hobby, and dancing is a dangerous and difficult occupation. If you can't or aren't willing to be reasonably generous with the girls, you should find another hobby.

Depends on the club. I want ladies to know that I DO have the money, but I also want it to be clear that I'm not an easy mark. So it's a subtle balancing act. Usually, for me, it involves breaking a $100 at the bar if necessary, or having a fist-full or a thick money clip, if I want people to see it. And I'm always dressed better than merely casual -- in jeans I don't go to a strip club, nor in athletic cross-trainer shoes, and I smoke a tobacco pipe sometimes, and have very nice jackets. This displays the "I have money" part. Then there is the "it depends on what you do for me" part.

Basically, humans know instinctively, that rich people got that way by getting what they should for their money, not by throwing it away. Act like a rich person.

Depends on the club. I want ladies to know that I DO have the money, but I also want it to be clear that I'm not an easy mark. So it's a subtle balancing act. Usually, for me, it involves breaking a $100 at the bar if necessary, or having a fist-full or a thick money clip, if I want people to see it. And I'm always dressed better than merely casual -- in jeans I don't go to a strip club, nor in athletic cross-trainer shoes, and I smoke a tobacco pipe sometimes, and have very nice jackets. This displays the "I have money" part. Then there is the "it depends on what you do for me" part.

Basically, humans know instinctively, that rich people got that way by getting what they should for their money, not by throwing it away. Act like a rich person.

I forgot to add, the fella that was throwing the money around never once tried to get a dance. He was just doing it for show I guess. He didn't seem interested in any personal attention and just walked away after dropping the money... I guess there are people who watch MTV and BET still :)

I think that any customer that flashes big bucks or tries to impress them with expensive clothes is a fool. You are only saying "rip me off". I am probabbly the most casual dresser at strip clubs than anyone else on this board. Bones and several other have seen me. Even in winter I wear nylon shorts and a funny t-shirt and go comando. I wear the funny t-shirts to make them laugh. I wear the shorts for easy access. Those dancers that do not want easy access avoid me. That is fine. Saves me time and money. I always spend a lot but I am cautious. It's been a long long time since any stripper fleeced me.

If dance prices are negotiable, getting the best value for your money is always in the interest of the customer. For me I see little benefit in throwing money on a stage. So what if some big spender blows a wad and he gets the first dance from a dancer? If you routinely visit a strip club, it's no big deal. I tend to spend a lot more money when dances are two for $20. less at 2 for $30, and almost never at 2 for $40. Never paid 2 for $50 in my life even though some dancers are asking that. I'll sit at the stage and watch them if they are that good and tip them one or two dollars instead of $50. Meanwhile the girl charging me 2 for $20 lap dances may get most of my cash.

Dancers will often go by appearance as to how big of a score you are. If you are all dressed up and spending a little bit of money, they probably think that guy has a lot more money to spend than some guy wearing casual clothes and only tipping a dollar than a guy wearing a suit and tie and tipping 5's. They're probably right but the suit and tie guy might be a flash in the pan so to speak while the casual guy might be a regular. The regulars are actually spending a lot more money in the strip clubs unless that suit and tie guy is spending mega bucks. I guess if the regular is not ever buying dances, he may not be spending that much. Dancers will often go for the quick buck first. Sometimes though they just want to visit with a familiar face.

I think it is a hit or miss situation no matter what. I have been into a club where I was planning on dropping some serious money and never given the opportunity. I too won't just go for any dance any time. I have given several new people the opportunity to earn my return visits and money but, I don't just get dances at random... unless I am really being adventurous.
I do however tip almost everyone at some point - if they are working it. I still don't know why several patrons shy away from tipping at the stage. It seems like a lost thing. Most people seem to use it for a 'hey come see me later' or a cheap thrill. I always had this motto... if I found myself watching the dancer on stage for a certain amount of time then I tip. If I don't then I don't.
I reviewed one of the Atlanta clubs where I spoke of being in a club where a guy was throwing money around like crazy (taking 50.00 stacks of ones) by throwing it all on stage at one time. He was looking for the 'big baller' effect and even told me that's what he was doing. He was in fact a big baller - playing arena football as his career path - and wanted to make a statement. It didn't make him have any better of a time than I did - though his asking for my contact information as a possible future client was a nice bonus.
All in all, I think it depends on the dancer. If the dancer is looking to make that quick buck she will do so and will usually miss out on the long term big payout. Most dancers don't realize what a little talking and hanging out will do for them - even what a free dance will do on occassion.

I think that I am seen, in the club where I am a regular, as generous to my girl of that night. I typically spend time with two or four girls during an evening, but only have extended VIP sessions with one or two. So, if a dancer can get my interest, she will be on her way to having a reasonably good night....but I'm not throwing money at every girl in the club.

This thread (or at least my response to it) sort of dovetails into a topic I raised a couple of weeks ago. I think that, if you want to guarantee that, whenever you go into a club, you will get the quick attention of at least a couple of girls who appeal to you, you do need to be known for spending a little bit of money. As much as I see myself as a scintillating conversationalist in the best tradition of the Algonquin Club and William F. Buckley, that's not why the girls are there.

I think it's best to be seen as generous, within reasonable limits. Spending past a certain point, although they'll take the money, seems to work against you with strippers in my experience. If you are generous without being excessive you seem to be saying I value you or I think you deserve it, if you throw out too much money it seems to be either an attempt to impress with money or akin to saying "I can buy you". Being a cautions spender never seems to help from what I've seen.

This is were I have the advantage over the rest of you in my favorite club. I refuse to accept dances for more than 2 for $20. Do I spend less? Hell no. My favorite dancers know that I will buy multiple dances from them. They know that 2 for $20 will become 6 for $60. Better than 1 for $25 and then spending the next hour hunting down a next customer. If more dancers could understand this, they could make more money...