When you've said no to requests for help....

55 comments

• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  GF's do that. Sometimes the reason for it is just to make the BF make shows of commitment. So if anyone asks you for such help, it may or may not be practical for you to provide it. Professional shops are usually faster for getting cars repaired. Depends on your own life too. Some guys keep their women out of town too. So you just have to decide what is right for you and your situation. She will have to understand. No other choice. Now if she stops being what you want, then you can try and talk to her, but mostly you've just got to cut back on seeing her and wait until such time that there might be something positive coming from her. That's just how it is. But compared to a real GF, and the legal shackling to a wife, what you are describing is nothing. SJG
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  In my "glass half empty" rmind I'm of the believe that the more you give the less you get and the bitches then feel all they have to do is ask w/o providing anything/much in return since she's used to the PL coming thru for her just b/c she asks - I think the hardasses actually get better treatment from the hos b/c the hos know they can't manipulate the hardasses and thus the hos work harder to get what they need from the hardasses.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Helping them out IMO is a one way ticket to chumpsville
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Prerty soon they start expecting you will bail them out of every bad situation
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I'm sure it depends on the girl, and the type you go for. I really appreciate anything extra my customers do for me, like giving me extra so that I can leave early when it's snowing, or getting extra dances when they can tell I've had a bad day. I meet them for dinner, and really do think of them more, and like them better.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  You have to keep emotional distance, otherwise just by continuing to placate them, you will end up married to them. I know. But this does not say that you need to be mean or indifferent. SJG
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  ^@bj99 There is a difference between giving a little extra because you want to out of appreciation and giving because she asks for it.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  I'm with both Papi & Flagooner on this one I'm generous sometimes to a fault but when they call out of the blue, because they can't manage their own lives I have little sympathy and very often my inclination is to dump them because I don't care to be their fall back position.
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  @25 yep, me too. The girls that win the joc13 lottery are the ones who can manage to make me aware of a problem, do something to make me feel spectacular, and then let my natural generosity take over. When they come right out and beg for something, it ruins the illusion.
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  I must look like I don't have any money because I've really never been hit up for any significant amount of money. I can remember a couple of times being asked for less than $20 so that they can make tip out and leave, etc.
• HungryGiraffe

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  7 years ago

  Last month I was testing a new SB. After a couple OTC sessions she hit me up is text for some unspecified amount of cash to be directly deposited in her bank acct to help with a trip. I wrote back and told her I wasn't an ATM. That was the beginning of the end of the SB trial. After turning down the request she stopped texting and claimed she thought I was upset with her. I called off OTCing this week. Besides, the sex was meh. Turns out she was too controlling, greedy and a cock-blocker in the club. Just learned about the downside becoming a dancer's regular. This chick flipped out seeing me chat up another dancer. A number of people have commented recently in another thread about not becoming any dancer's regular if OTC is your game. I agree!
• HungryGiraffe

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  7 years ago

  via text
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  @ flagooner, but I did ask for extra to go home early, and I even had the money! It's just hard for me to leave early if someone doesn't give me money just for that. It's not that much, but I don't do extras, so things are relative. The thing is, I really appreciate those little things, and he does get better service from me now.
• grand1511

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  7 years ago

  What's the down side to pissing a stripper off who's asking for money? If you piss her off enough, she'll stop asking for money. There's always a younger, nicer model coming along. They have much more to lose in cutting off contact to a potential gravy train.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  @Bj99 I'm not trying to be disrespectful but you do seem like a nice level headed girl and from your avatar you look like someone whom I probably would be attracted to, but I don't understand how someone who on the surface appears levelheaded, and obviously makes a decent amount of money would need to ask for a handout, to leave early, Why in the name of god do you not have a backup stash, of whatever your minimum tip-out is hidden in a shoe or someplace available for you to access if the need arises? This is not about extras, or any of that other bullshit this is about you being in control of your own life, instead of depending on some other person to take pity on you. BTW there are more than a few girls that I hang out with regularly that don't do extras and that in not a naive PL making that statement, but experienced monger who knows what he is talking about.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  Oh I know! I do have plenty of money, and I don't ask for money for phone bills and crap like that. Plus, even that one guy gives me a couple hundred. I rarely makes less than 500 in a day. It's a mental thing. If he didn't give me the money just to leave early, I wouldn't. I think I have some ocpd. It's not a pitty thing. It's a caring understanding thing, and it's makes me more caring in return.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  ^^^I don't see it the same way as you do sorry, you have $500. in your pocket and you are asking for a handout, with me it's a self respect thing, but you just confirmed why I don't agree to give panhandlers money.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  But I do give him more for it, like him more, and really appreciate it. I don't need it, and he knows that.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  He's been sick lately bc of medicine, and I offered to drive to where he lives to have lunch for him, but he's really not feeling well. I worry ab him bc he's been caring towards me. Also, some days, I've been distracted, and he's been understanding.
• Lone_Wolf

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  7 years ago

  Interrupting to do some quick math here too calculate Bj99's annual income. 52 weeks X 4 days a week X 600 a day = $124,800 (tax free!!) What a great country we live in.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  ;). But, I only work 3-5 days a week, and sometimes I take off for a few weeks to obsessively bleach my house, and reorganize my closet.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  Oh, my overall average is 550.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  "But, I only work 3-5 days a week, and sometimes I take off for a few weeks to obsessively bleach my house, and reorganize my closet." I am not looking to pile on here, but that type of behavior is why the guys here get bent out of shape when you girls are so greedy it's just obscene. You mean to say you earn approx. 125k a year, and this guy who probably works at some job, making way less than that kind of scratch, is giving you money to cover your expenses that you incurred because he helps you to bank, wow he is a real sucker I guess.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  The question in concern is whether you get more for giving a stripper extra money, not whether she truly needs it (tho I dont lie ab it. I don't need the money) I only say that I do genuinely appreciate it, and give better service in return.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  Well here's the thing @Bj99 why don't you show that guy this thread and see if he doesn't get pissed off. I bet if he see's this thread, he doesn't continue to be so generous.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I don't see why. He knows how much I make. I wouldn't show him this stuff for other reasons, but I don't think anything on this thread would hurt his feelings. What would you find so offensive if you were him? Besides, who cares as long as you do get better service?
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  Haven't you ever given a gift to someone that they can afford themselves? It's like that.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  Sure I have given a plenty of gifts to lots of people, not because they asked me for a gift, and certainly not because they didn't feel like working, and were too cheap to reach into their own pocket and take care of their own expenses, especially after I had paid them for their time maybe even tipped them, and then on top of that you asked him for a handout, that ain't in the category of a gift, because I suspect that you ask this guy for stuff all of the time, and he is too much of a pussy to refuse, you put him in the friend zone, knowing full well that isn't what he wants from you, and now you are playing the string for as much as you can get. Like I said earlier on this thread baby doll, I am not even a little bit naive, you are chatting with an experienced monger, I was playing this game before you were born.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I don't ask for anything. I've only asked for a drink sometimes, and money to leave early. I have no reason to lie.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  You have no reason to lie to me, but you are lying to yourself, just think on it a bit, if you don't get it we can chat another time, it's late and I am getting tired, thank god tomorrow is a day off I need it.
• Cowboy12

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  7 years ago

  I have paid strippers extra money 2 times, they were favorites, at that time. Neither instance lead to any extra benefit to me, although they did treat me very well. I have turned down a few requests to pay for phone bills or help with rent, with no negative impact from the dancer.(not favorites though) Just a game to some of them to see if they can get something for nothing.
• HarryJones

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  7 years ago

  I paid for her dog's operation because the dog was visibly in a lot of pain and she couldnt afford it that week. The next week when she could...she paid me back. And she has leant me money in the past. We are friends anyway, shit like that brought us closer together. Certainly built a lot of trust.....and the dog wont leave my alone when I hangout at her place
• HarryJones

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  7 years ago

  Lol its crazy to see people on here mentioning 5 maybe 600 a night. In my little British town my girl gets like £120 on a peak Friday night recently and thats without the fee to even work there. Obviously there are good nights but the night life here that exists has certainly died since Christmas, the club is often dead or filled with idiots who literally drink all night with zero interest of buying a dance...and we dont do tips to the pole girl here
• impala

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  7 years ago

  Their strippers, and cash is king. They know what they can do to make cash, so if they are hitting you up and don't expect you to think your gonna want anything in return means she thinks your a chump. Most have no problem making more than enough money, but put it up their nose, in their arm, drink it, spend well beyond their means on stupid shit, or their dead beat boyfriend/husband need a new drum set for their band.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  The problem with helping out many a stripper is that it is not the end of it, it's often the beginning of a future of requests/"emergencies"
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  When I did it for my atf she always made up for it and eventually led to a fwb relationship. So it built a lot of trust.
• houjack

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  7 years ago

  I've done it before, the "give me a little more so I can leave earlier" or "how about a little more so I can...." whatever. It didn't lead to better service.
• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  "Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones - with ingratitude."--Ben Franklin I have given money and other help to some strippers I know well--especially my ATF. Have I received anything in return? Not much. These girls quickly forget how you bailed them out (literally or figuratively), and they never pay back loans. However, I'm not really unhappy that I've helped strippers in various ways. I enjoy hanging out with hot young women even though they take advantage of me. I can afford the money I've spent on them.
• Rickberge

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  7 years ago

  Why the fuck would any of you give money to a stripper to help her out?? Please tell me you getting something out of the deal and not just hoping you do. Its like what Chris Rock said, anytime a man is nice to a woman, he's offering her some dick! Lol... These strippers definetly know that shit.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Damn, I didn't realize I lit a fuse and then went to bed just before the fireworks started on this thread. I have a feeling I might rival SJG or Book Guy on this one, but at least I will break it up into paragraphs. When I wrote my comment about it giving unsolicited money (tips) to a dancer being different than giving it to her after explicitly asking for money I had misread bj99’s previous comment. I read it as though the customer volunteered to give her the tip out money so she could leave early, I didn’t know that she asked him for the money so she could leave early. In my opinion that is predatory. I don’t take offense though because it’s what strippers do. Strippers will be strippers. It’s kinda like the scorpion and the frog fable. This is a classic “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game” scenario. We all know it’s all about the money. It’s rule number 1, so I expect it and try not to take it personally. We all know that dancers wouldn’t be dancing if it wasn’t for the money. When I get that treatment I just laugh and let her know that she could have at least been a little less lazy and come up with some creative SS. I may give her a chance to earn it with a few dances, but I’m not about to just give money to a dancer that asks for it (unless I have hit RIL status that night, but then I’d regret it the next day). The same as I don’t tip during tip walks. I could forgive a favorite asking for a freebie the first time but if she tried again, she probably wouldn’t last on my favorites list very long. To me, this type of behavior is risking a long term income stream for immediate return. Also not uncommon for a stripper. I would be good with a dancer saying something like, “I would love to be able to get out of here early because of the weather, but I need another $50 for the payout before I go (whether that’s true or not). How about we do a couple of dances that I am sure you will enjoy?” If he says yes, it’s a win-win. If he just wants to give her the money without the dances that is his prerogative and another win-win because she gets her money and he gets a bit of an ego boost or a good “Captain Save A Ho” feeling. If he says no, you could excuse yourself saying that you have to earn, but that you will come by to say goodnight before leaving. This at least shows respect for the customer instead of just exploiting his RIL nature. A few questions for bj99 to think about. They are rhetorical questions. You wrote that you really do think of them more and like them better. Do you really like the guy more or do you just like that he gave you a lot of money? Do you give him better service because you like him more, or is it because he pays you better and you want that steady income stream? When you ask for a freebie, do you feel at all like you are taking advantage of the customer? You also asked, “Don’t you ever give a gift to someone that they can afford themselves?” Sure I do, quite often. But I don’t buy gifts for someone who asks me to buy them one, especially if they can afford it themselves. I try not to be a chump, sometimes more effectively than others. I respect the honesty in your posts, and you provide a perspective that is very valuable to all of us PLs. We learn a lot from you, and hopefully our posts allow you to get insights into how we customers think. I think you already realize that we don’t all think the same way just as not all dancers do. I just hope you use your learnings for good and not evil. ;-)
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ yeah, what he said! (I appreciate you, too, bj99!)
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  Don't think for a minute that I don't like @Bj99 I like her tremendously but I disagree with her thinking on this thread.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  ^ I never thought that. We all disagree about things all the time without carrying grudges. I respect everyone's right to their opinion no matter how wrong they are.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  "... Don't think for a minute that I don't like @Bj99 I like her tremendously but I disagree with her thinking on this thread ..." IMO, it's rare dancers and custies will see most things the same way particularly w.r.t. $$$ (hell that applies to all men and women in general not just dancers/custies)
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Dancers asking cusites for $$$ just b/c I think is her taking advantage of the situation, just my opinion. Stripper's don't do shit for free - thus the the reverse should also apply - i.e. dancers should not ask for $$$ for not doing nothing - that's kinda being a ROB IMO - it'd be like a custy asking a dancer for free dances. I assume some of our more "enlightened" PLs on here will come out with, "hey nothing wrong with a dancer asking for $$$ for nothing, it's up to the PL ..."
• day_trader

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  7 years ago

  I haven't been asked that much, when I was asked to help I didn't, and service remained pretty much the same. I'm not against helping out. It would have to be with someone I've already seen on the outside. If it's a small amount like a cell phone bill I would probably do that. I wouldn't expect to see it back. For higher amounts I might say yeah hun drop by in a bit, have a bite to eat, hang out, watch a movie or whatever. So indirectly saying she can earn it but I'm going to get something out of it.
• day_trader

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  7 years ago

  "Turns out she was too controlling, greedy and a cock-blocker in the club. Just learned about the downside becoming a dancer's regular. This chick flipped out seeing me chat up another dancer. A number of people have commented recently in another thread about not becoming any dancer's regular if OTC is your game. I agree!" This reminds me of my CF who dumped my ass this week, last night as a matter of fact. Things were going great with the CF until she suggested that I should start tipping her more, I didn't and service went downhill after that. Earlier in the week she tried to do a quick sell on dances which I didn't go for. I got accused of seeing another dancer, there was no other dancer, lol. She yells over from another table and says oh I'm better then her. I didn't stay too long after that, outside I saw her smoking up with some old dude, wished each other a good night and carried on. Early a.m. she sends me a text pic of her in her panties and asks is everything alright babe? lol. I didn't respond back till the next day, she wasn't very chatty. Last night she didn't even acknowledge me at all, I was there most of the night so she knows I was there. I'm starting to think this chick is kinda crazy.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  "... I'm starting to think this chick is kinda crazy ..." Now is when you realize this about many a stripper :)
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  I had a dancer ask me for money today. I was at my favorite club and she came up to me in her street clothes and said " XXXX my wallet got stolen at school yesterday. Can you give me $40 to pay my tip out? I'll give you the money back after I earn it today or I can dance for you". I said "OK but they better be good dances". 10 minutes later she came out of the dressing room totally nude and gave me 4 great dances. I didn't feel like she took advantage of me. :)
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  Shocking shocking 25 is arguing with someone! Like Mr. Deuce eloquently said 25 just likes to pick fights, the only problem is he can never finish them LMAO.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  Little fishy go make it rain 30 K someplace you are an idiot.
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  @shadowcat yep, had one make the same request recently, and she followed through. Moved her way up the CF list.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  @ shadowcat, I still don't understand why she didn't give you the dances first, then get paid, then pay tip out. Also, your example is a bit different. In your case it was just paying up front as she said she would give you dances for it. That's a bit different than if she asked for money out of the blue without giving any indication that it would be compensated.
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  flagooner - At Follies the dancers must pay the club their tip out before they can start working. Some times they come to the club broke. Of course my example was different!
• jaredlucas

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  7 years ago

  Ive said yes a couple times - $300 once and $150 once ... Dumb thing to do. Each girl showed little appreciation in return. Now i just say Sorry Hun. I wont do that, but Id be happy to have you over to my place to earn it if you would like. About half the time they go for it. Today got a text from a former favorite who has since moved away. Asking to send her $150 for stage fee and a room to stay at tonite. I said sorry Hun. Look me up when you get back in town... well have some fun . Second time in two weeks she has asked for $150. ... I think she is on drugs... Who knows - something is going on. She used to a top earner when she was local to me.