How often do you usually go? I'm pretty loyal to one club only, I like it that way. But I've thought about cutting it back to once a week but then my ATF bugs me to come in. And is it ok to be a rock some nights if you're on a budget?
Twice a week is not excessive as long as you can afford it. If you only have enough of a budget for once a week I would suggest cutting your typical spending in half for each visit. If your budget is so tight that cutting it in half wouldn't leave you enough to have fun each night cut back to once a week.
Remember this is just a hobby so don't let yourself get caught up in it to the point you are spending more than your budget allows.
I go as much as I can afford and my work/family schedule allows rather than on how often a dancer wants me to come in. Sometimes that's a week, sometimes its once every otger month. Don't let your ATF dictate how often you go. You should dictate that, most certainly if you're on a budget.
Even your ATF could care less about the fact that coming in so often may not be fiscally reasonable for you. Matter of fact, she probably is sending a bunch of guys the "I'm working today, hun! Come see me!" as well as the "Aw, but I really wanted to see you today, baby :(" reply when you initially say you can't. If you let those cattle calls have an impact on you even a quarter of the time it gets sent, you've made yourself ine helluva mark for her (i.e. she knows you're a beta who can't say no or a RIL).
How many times a week isn't how you should be judging whether it's a problem. The fact that you're obviously going more than you're comfortable with, because your ATF bugs you -- THAT is a big fucking problem. So yes, you have a problem, that has nothing to do with the fact that you're going twice a week
Thanks for the points, these help. I think I'm letting myself get swept up into it too fast. I've got to cut it back to once a week because I'm finding myself spending almost 100 bucks each of the two consecutive nights..I'm
a sucker for the attention her and this other one lavish on me, and they're pretty hot. Too afraid of driving her away though. But the other night I became a rock and spent only 30 BUT she was off that night, ugh
I actually suggest going in less, and spending more, if you don't mind going less. This way it's a bigger deal for her to give you the attention you want, bc the stakes are higher. For me, once a week is perfect. If a customer comes in more than that, I don't feel like it's a big deal to miss him bc he will be back so soon. If a customer comes in less than once a week, I don't give them any additional priority, and maybe even less. Once a week feels like a regular date or something.
Once a week it is now for me or I'll destroy myself. Probably impossible to answer this, but if I go once a week, it's so hard to choose between one girl or the other to spend the time with although I was able to split the time once and it didn't seem they cared
If you're a rock on some visits, you can expect approaches to start drying up in that club to the point where you might have to start approaching dancers to ask for a dance. Even then they will likely put in the minimum effort because they perceive that the upside is limited. I had a CF once who avoided a particular customer since he would only get one dance from her on any visit and was annoyed that he would wait around for her all night.
You can be sure that when your ATF texts you to come in, it's because she wants you to spend at least what you have on past visits. From your last post, it sounds like even that isn't holding her interest too well if she doesn't come say hi when she's already with a customer. Visiting half as often with twice the budget per visit is much more likely to lead to a good result.
I don't think two weeks is excessive. When I first started going went anywhere from 2 - 4 times a week. Now I seem to go once or twice a month.
Like others have said let it be you who determines how often you go. And definitely have your set amount. If you're worried about your fav just know you'll find another fav along the road if you continue SCing long enough.
Twice a week isn't excessive if you have the time and moolah. I averaged twice a week for a few years through last November but have cut back this year to once a week -- usually. However, I've been on vacation in Austin the last two weeks and have hit the clubs 5 times. Now my wallet and my willy need a break for a week :)
Btw, if you're regularly getting cattle calls from your favorite, that would be an opportune time to make a counteroffer for a different day and time. She might have just texted the last 20 guys who bought a dance from her and will probably cater to any who show up in the order of who has been the biggest spender.
If you tell her you can't make it tonight, but ask if she would have time to sit for a bit then and then do dances on e.g., Wednesday at 8pm, chances of a good visit will likely improve. Then, on Wednesday at 9pm, she can text the rest of her contact list. If she still finds a way to make it lame, that is another sign to move on.
As a counterexample, in the same timeframe I had the CF who was annoyed with the guy who would only get one dance per visit, a different dancer would always offer me a two-for-one dance on each visit (on her own initiative and timing, not the DJ's) She was low mileage, but exactly my type and fun to sit with and talk to, so I would always take her up on it. After several months of that, her dances started improving and she became my new CF and is easily the dancer I spent the most money on at a club. It wasn't because of large per-visit spends, but because she would make a visit into a good visit.
I'm going against the current. Being that regular puts a dancer too at ease with you. You become regular income to them and the can put less effort in.
Strippers can often be a crapshoot - they can be "ecstatic" to see you one-day and be meh or take you for granted another - i.e. just as PLs may get tired of their CF, CFs can IMO often get tired of their reg (or take them for granted) - so there could be a bit of "familiarity breeds contempt" when seeing a fave too-often - not to say it happens every time and often times how good a time you have depends on how proactive you are about making sure you have a good time vs just sitting back and letting things happen according to the dancers' own devices (i.e. letting her call all the shots and dictate 100% how things will occur).
"... I've got to cut it back to once a week because I'm finding myself spending almost 100 bucks each of the two consecutive nights. ..."
If this is the case then you def need to cut back - IMO 100 bucks is chump change if one wants to have a good time ITC beyond just tipping on stage and buying some drinks - in some clubs that may be ok $$$ but that is about the bare-minimum in most decent clubs - at $100/visit don't expect to be too-high on a fave's totum-pole unless she does not get much biz/dances or it's a very divey club.
Agree with Papi - I would even say depending on the club you may want to even consider going once every other week so you have more money for a better time. When you do go. If you go too often you'll get burned out.
Also -make sure to sample other girls when you do go and don't go in when she sends you a message unless you were already planning to go. You don't want to be that RIL who she can count on every time her funds are low.
Any time someone else is driving the decision to go to a club is "one time too much." You and your wallet should be the only determinants of frequency of club visits.
I understand..the one I go to is a dive but it's a good place, 10 dollar dances, 20 for VIP..I just think I may be tipping too much, I usually tip 10 bucks for a dance
I'm working on it, it's tougher than I thought but I'll get it done. I just go to one here in Tucson, I like to stay loyal to it and I think it makes the experience better
You are probably tipping over the club norm, $10 on a $10 or $20 dance sounds like a lot. A more normal-sounding tip to me would be like $10 for 3 $20 VIP dances or maybe more depending on effort. I have had dancers ask me to tip up to our normal level after fewer than normal dances and was fine with it. I have also had them keep dancing for free when our usual dollar amount had been reached and it was my last 20.
In other words, total level of spending is probably the bigger issue compared to how much is spent on dances vs. tips. In my experience, dancers tend to care more about $ per customer and use that to decide who to talk to and to set their mileage levels. She would probably rather put in an extra 2.5 minutes of effort than have her pay cut in half because of slightly less dance time. Also, If she happens to put in an extra little bit of effort to see if it might get the dollar needle to budge and that's the night you decide to cut back on tips without mentioning anything up-front, from that day onward, she might only talk to you on the nights when she is in danger of not making the house fee. ;)
Anyway, in this case checking your wallet and saying "I wanna get 3 today, but I wouldn't have any left over for tip" might do the trick. She might come back with OK, but we can't do X, or she might say it's OK, we can do 3 dances without a tip. Either way, there wouldn't be unpleasant surprises.
$$$ count not the visits........no matter what level you spend it has to be comfortable for you, otherwise why do it. This is an enjoyable pastime supposedly, and as I referenced in another conversation we are the customer after all.
Twice a week need not be excessive, depending on your own capacity to spend money on those occasions. The original post-er replied, that he's disappointed that he's spending as much as $100 per visit? That's DEFINITELY not excessive, IMO. If you're up to $200 per week total, at 2 visits total, then my guess is, you're well below the average for most people who consider themselves "strip club goers". I can spend $500 per night of strip clubbing easily; and I really would consider any night upon which I didn't spend any more than $100, to be a failure of a night. I'd be happy to save the money for another occasion, but I'd also know, that if I only spent $100, I didn't find any girls who interested me.
Another thought. If you are worried about crossing the threshold which BJ99 suggests -- of going in so often that the girl starts to expect your presence, and therefore she does not maximize her attention to you when you are there -- try this: spend subsequent visits at different strip clubs that have different stables of girls. If you're in a large enough metro area, you could go to Pink Panty Party and Purple Pony Palace on Friday night, go out with the wifey on Saturday, then on Tuesday go to Green Go-Go Girls and Golden Giggly Gazungas. That way, your ATF at the PPP will try to milk you for all you're worth, you'll love it, she'll focus on you whenever you are there, and you won't tip her off to the fact that you are really likely to go clubbing again the next night, thus minimizing the risk of the BJ99 worry.
IMO, this need for alternative clubs (to depart from one bad scene, to get started in a new scene, and enjoy it before it goes bad, for whatever reason) is why there's a "critical mass" to the great North American strip clubbing cities. Some cities are quite famous for nightlife, but have very little adult entertainment. Other cities somehow manage to attract girlie-bars just right, because one great girle-bar begets another, begets asnother. Think, for example, of Detroit, not known for its classy entertainment districts, but definitely replete with high-service strip-club opportunities. San Francisco and Tampa both rate high on the strip club meter. New York City does not. It's not the overall metro population; it's the nature of the geography, the links among strip clubs and young female employees in need of income, etc. etc.. Tampa hits the proper critical mass, but is only barely big enough or "urban" enough to cause it, IMO. Tampa's success is about the begetting -- one club's excitement causes other clubs to happen nearby. New Orleans, to the contrary fails miserably, much too small to engender adequate strip club excitement, despite the city being supposedly "famous" for adult outings.
Going to the same club more than once a week gets old pretty quick. I club anywhere between 0-4 times a month, on average I would say twice a month. Also I go when I want, not when someone asks me to come in. Sure it's okay to be a rock every now and then, especially if you do not see anyone you are interested in.
Twice a week is pretty normal on tuscl. Back before I got a DC and was fucking every 18 year old I could get my hands on, I was going 3-4 times a week. That can't last but it was a lot of fun.
If you have to ask, then the answer is probably "yes", especially when you add in a question about whether it's ok to just take up space during some of those visits. Now philosophies differ on this, but I just don't find club visits much fun if I has to stress over what I am spending. Better IMHO to reduce the number of visits to whatever frequency allows you to get the most out of each trip.
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Remember this is just a hobby so don't let yourself get caught up in it to the point you are spending more than your budget allows.
It's ok to be a rock.
Even your ATF could care less about the fact that coming in so often may not be fiscally reasonable for you. Matter of fact, she probably is sending a bunch of guys the "I'm working today, hun! Come see me!" as well as the "Aw, but I really wanted to see you today, baby :(" reply when you initially say you can't. If you let those cattle calls have an impact on you even a quarter of the time it gets sent, you've made yourself ine helluva mark for her (i.e. she knows you're a beta who can't say no or a RIL).
a sucker for the attention her and this other one lavish on me, and they're pretty hot. Too afraid of driving her away though. But the other night I became a rock and spent only 30 BUT she was off that night, ugh
If a customer is coming in once or twice a week, I'd expect all trips to be appointment-based, so there's no missing each other...
You can be sure that when your ATF texts you to come in, it's because she wants you to spend at least what you have on past visits. From your last post, it sounds like even that isn't holding her interest too well if she doesn't come say hi when she's already with a customer. Visiting half as often with twice the budget per visit is much more likely to lead to a good result.
Like others have said let it be you who determines how often you go. And definitely have your set amount. If you're worried about your fav just know you'll find another fav along the road if you continue SCing long enough.
If you tell her you can't make it tonight, but ask if she would have time to sit for a bit then and then do dances on e.g., Wednesday at 8pm, chances of a good visit will likely improve. Then, on Wednesday at 9pm, she can text the rest of her contact list. If she still finds a way to make it lame, that is another sign to move on.
"... I've got to cut it back to once a week because I'm finding myself spending almost 100 bucks each of the two consecutive nights. ..."
If this is the case then you def need to cut back - IMO 100 bucks is chump change if one wants to have a good time ITC beyond just tipping on stage and buying some drinks - in some clubs that may be ok $$$ but that is about the bare-minimum in most decent clubs - at $100/visit don't expect to be too-high on a fave's totum-pole unless she does not get much biz/dances or it's a very divey club.
At $100/visit you may just be a goldfish :)
Also -make sure to sample other girls when you do go and don't go in when she sends you a message unless you were already planning to go. You don't want to be that RIL who she can count on every time her funds are low.
In other words, total level of spending is probably the bigger issue compared to how much is spent on dances vs. tips. In my experience, dancers tend to care more about $ per customer and use that to decide who to talk to and to set their mileage levels. She would probably rather put in an extra 2.5 minutes of effort than have her pay cut in half because of slightly less dance time. Also, If she happens to put in an extra little bit of effort to see if it might get the dollar needle to budge and that's the night you decide to cut back on tips without mentioning anything up-front, from that day onward, she might only talk to you on the nights when she is in danger of not making the house fee. ;)
Anyway, in this case checking your wallet and saying "I wanna get 3 today, but I wouldn't have any left over for tip" might do the trick. She might come back with OK, but we can't do X, or she might say it's OK, we can do 3 dances without a tip. Either way, there wouldn't be unpleasant surprises.
Can you afford it?
Are you having fun?
If yes to both then it is not excessive. It's just brilliant! ;)
Another thought. If you are worried about crossing the threshold which BJ99 suggests -- of going in so often that the girl starts to expect your presence, and therefore she does not maximize her attention to you when you are there -- try this: spend subsequent visits at different strip clubs that have different stables of girls. If you're in a large enough metro area, you could go to Pink Panty Party and Purple Pony Palace on Friday night, go out with the wifey on Saturday, then on Tuesday go to Green Go-Go Girls and Golden Giggly Gazungas. That way, your ATF at the PPP will try to milk you for all you're worth, you'll love it, she'll focus on you whenever you are there, and you won't tip her off to the fact that you are really likely to go clubbing again the next night, thus minimizing the risk of the BJ99 worry.
IMO, this need for alternative clubs (to depart from one bad scene, to get started in a new scene, and enjoy it before it goes bad, for whatever reason) is why there's a "critical mass" to the great North American strip clubbing cities. Some cities are quite famous for nightlife, but have very little adult entertainment. Other cities somehow manage to attract girlie-bars just right, because one great girle-bar begets another, begets asnother. Think, for example, of Detroit, not known for its classy entertainment districts, but definitely replete with high-service strip-club opportunities. San Francisco and Tampa both rate high on the strip club meter. New York City does not. It's not the overall metro population; it's the nature of the geography, the links among strip clubs and young female employees in need of income, etc. etc.. Tampa hits the proper critical mass, but is only barely big enough or "urban" enough to cause it, IMO. Tampa's success is about the begetting -- one club's excitement causes other clubs to happen nearby. New Orleans, to the contrary fails miserably, much too small to engender adequate strip club excitement, despite the city being supposedly "famous" for adult outings.