Dealing with declining service

Style-wise, I'm usually not the passive-aggressive type, it comes off as gutless to me and can often kick off other negative responses, which beget more negative responses, etc. Or, in other words, "stop tipping until service improves" usually isn't the tact I take, unless for some reason I think it will send a clear, full message. It may or may not get you to where you want to go; it may make things worse.

I am also neither angry nor incapable of basic human communication and empathy, so I'm not going to "confront" a stripper over marginally lower service.

What that leaves is: being a person, and treating her like one, too. A light, friendly, "Hey, things have changed a bit and I"d like to understand why, and what's happened", in a way that indicates I know something is going on but I'm not angry and that this is a safe space to discuss it. Then I listen to her, with an ear towards "she's feeding me a line of bullshit -- time to cut bait" or "understandable issue -- I'll work with her to address it". And, during this whole thing, I'm always looking for an angle for myself ... management coming down on you for too much touching, you say? Oh that sucks, we'll just have to go OTC :)

As usual, I think Subra's given sage advice. Passive aggression & confrontation are unlikely to achieve the desired results. If moving on to greener pastures isn't an option, or you think its worth trying to get better service, have a conversation about it.

Keep in mind this happens. Dancers push the limits to get regulars, then become complacent and service drops. I'd usually just move on, but you seem to think she's worth the hassle.

Subraman, you really should run a school for PLs who want to improve their mongering skills :)

I agree: If she's the best of a bad lot, have a casual but frank conversation and see if the situation can be improved. My first VIP with a then-favorite last summer was surprisingly vanilla, in a club whose VIP room is known for its extras. I didn't say anything that time, but when I saw her a couple of weeks later and she proposed going to VIP, I simply said "I'm hoping for a somewhat more intimate experience this time". That's all it took to make her a regular BJQ from then on.

Yes, good advice there. I've usually experienced the complacency situation kick in sooner than this so I hadn't really considered it. When that has happened in the past I typically did move on. This time I was hopeful the situation would lead to better things. I'll see if it can be salvaged still.

She's clearly not a DS, so I don't buy the notion that there are no alternatives. Thinking that there is no other option is just an excuse for accepting the unacceptable. You can try a girl who is slightly less attractive, or you can wait for the revolving door of newbies, or you can try a new club. There are always options.

That's a tough one because it sounds like your 'into her', more so than other dancers there. If after 3 or 4 dances(at different visits) and the dances still suck, I would honetly move on from her. You may have caught her on an 'off day' where she allowed a lot of roaming and didn't feel like saying anything or she may have gotten distracted and allowed a lot of roaming without realizing it. What your getting now maybe the 'real her' in terms of how much roaming she allows.

Another thing I wanted to add is how many dances are you getting from her each visit? She may allow more roaming if your buying more dances vs getting only 1 or 2 dances each time. It could simply be you get what you pay for too.

I imagine a legit good dancer who is on top of her shit and knows her value will treat guys who only buy 1 dances from her differently (less roaming) than guys who buys 4 dances from her (more roaming) in the grand scheme of things. If not, then she is just a tacky bitch.

Don't keep seeing girls in the strip club. Treat them like civilians and see them outside.

SJG

Golden Dawn Tarot youtube.com

Get dances from another dancer and if the current one asks why you stopped, just be honest and tell her that when any relationship is new, here or anywhere else, things are great. Sadly that leads to people being taken for granted and the other person begins to think that time/money and loyalty are an inherent right instead of something to be earned.Had a similar conversation with my ATF and I simply told her that if I wanted emotionless, mechanical, interaction I might as well go with whomever was available when I first walked in and cheaper instead of waiting for her. People taking each other for grated is the foundation of my business.

Another thing I wanted to add is 2 months is not a large enough sample size to know how someone truly is....6 months of seeing a dancer consistently is a better indicator of her personality/services over time.

The worst sort of PL is the Regular In Love.

See the girl outside, fuck her in your own bed.

SJG

In any "relationship" communication is key - IMO more often than not PLs don't get what they want in clubs b/c they don't say anything and just sit there like logs and take w/e the dancer decides she wants to give - if you don't say anything about diminishing service and still pay her and tip her the same why will she change and put in more effort.

Yeah; there "could be" a legitimate reason why she's giving less mileage (management; her having personal issues; or maybe a new BF thus she does not like getting as intimate w/ her custies) - but most of the time it seems that dancers just get complaisant (I imagine it's not easy for many of them to be "in character" all the time and pretend and make us feel like we're the best thing since sliced-bread) - and many dancers wanna get the most-$$$ while doing the least work and at times they feel they can get away w/ this w/ regulars.

If she's not doing what you like; fucking tell her - you are not paying her for her to do what she likes but what you like; that's the harsh truth/reality - if you want to suck on her tits then ask her to turn-around or put herself in a position to do so - and if she's still hesitant ask her why - and if she's not down w/ doing what you like that is her right but IMO no sense you keeping spending $$$ on her if you are not getting what you like (she has a right not to do it and you have a right to find someone who will) - I'd be frank w/ her and if she doesn't budge and you don't wanna give her up then you're putting yourself into a corner and may only be left w/ accepting how she's treating you.

I just dump them and move on.

2 things comes to mind with declining service from a CF/ATF:

Complacency - you're sure thing regular who consistently pays. These girls, even the loyal ones are looking for the most pay for the least amount of putting out, which can lead to complacency with some of them. In those cases, sometimes a little unexpected competition by playing the field can restoke the flames in her bring her A game.

Change in dancing style - dancers are humans too, they are allowed to change their minds about what they're comfortable with. Maybe she has a serious bf now and is self-concious about how far she goes with PLs, or maybe she had a bad experience ITC or her personal life recently that has her a little timid.

Either way, it's a conversation to have with her directly if she is a dancer you are committed to continuing to be a regular of. Don't beat around the bush with her.

"I just dump them and move on."

Yes, being attached to a girl whom you are only seeing in a strip club is the Ultimate in being Pathetic.

Shadowcat knows what he wants and what he is doing.

SJG

Yeah, there's little point in dancing around it. Ask her, politely and in a non-confrontational, but direct, way, "why?"

Before opening a discussion about it, I would ask her during the dance to change positions to one that works better. In case that doesn't work for her, you can decline future dances offering that as the explanation. Usually one or the other will tip her off as to what you're looking for and her dances will improve. If not, that is a sign that it's time to move on.

Dude you should've one and done. Why would you pay the same price for the less service than you got the last time? IF Mcdonalds kept giving you a small fry when you paid for a large one would you keep going? Nah, you wouldn't

Are you saying that you'd get one dance a week from her? Or you spend 100.00 a week? Bc those are two different situations.

4 couch dances typically per visit.

I went to the club yesterday and had the discussion. She said she has been working double shifts and had been dealing with issues at home so she apologized for being distracted. She said she wanted to make it up to me so had a few dances which where back up to the previous quality again. We'll see how long that sticks.

I also brought up that I'd like to see her otc sometime. She seemed open to the topic but I didn't push it because frankly my situation makes it difficult to arrange something like that.

^ If you aren't serious about following through with OTC I think it's pretty low to propose it just to see how she responds.

For some of these girls it is humbling to even consider doing it. If she is one such dancer and decides to go through with it only to then be "stood up", I can only imagine it being humiliating for her.

I had this happen OTC with my ATF. During a particular visit the performance was not up to her usual standard. She seemed to be trying to get it over with ASAP and wasn't acting like she was into it like she normally did.

A few weeks later we were texting and she asked when I was gonna come over for another visit. I told her I didn't think I was gonna cause the last time wasn't as good. At first she was pissed at me, she admitted she had a hard time focusing cause her kids were with a babysitter (we usually had our sessions while they were at school) and she didn't have any alcohol to take the edge off. She apologized and said she would do better next time. She also admitted that she had taken me for granted a little.

I agreed to see her again and it was definitely better going forward. Never had that problem with her again.

^ bingo! Most of these girls need and want our business and see it in their best interest to meet our expectations rather than lose our business - too many PLs just don't say anything when in fact they have the right to a particular level of service if they are paying.